Outside the Frame
by ncismom
Summary: They say that prison changes a man and no one knows that better than former NCIS agent, Tony DiNozzo; can Gibbs and the team save him from life in prison and more importantly, can they save him from himself? A Frame Up AU! New chapter is up, 9/6!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Outside the Frame

**Author: ncismom**

**Characters: Tony DiNozzo, Jethro Gibbs**

**Warnings: Angst, violence, hurt/comfort**

**Spoilers: Takes place in the 3rd season after _"Frame Up"_**

**Summary: They say prison changes a man and no one knows that better than former NCIS agent, Tony DiNozzo. Can Gibbs and the team save Tony from life in prison and more importantly, can they save him from himself? A _Frame Up_ AU**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own NCIS; if I did, the character of Tony would definitely be in trouble.**

Part 1

"_We the jury, find the defendant guilty of murder in the first degree."_

The courtroom exploded around him but former NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo seemed oblivious to the proclamations of injustice being made on his behalf by those few who had remained convinced of his innocence. Tony collapsed into his chair as the judge demanded silence in his courtroom; the chaos began to settle as the judge announced that sentencing would be in two weeks.

Tony felt like he was going to be sick. He had known from the moment that the jury had entered the room that they had found him guilty; not a single juror would look at him or even in his direction and that realization had sent what little hope he had managed to retain spiraling into the depths of darkness. Although there hadn't been an eyewitness that could tie him to the severed legs, the forensic evidence submitted had been completely damning and it had been more than enough to render a guilty verdict.

The sound of the gavel hammering down on the wooden block forced him back to his present reality, which was somewhere that he didn't want to be at the moment. His attorney, Taylor Dylan leaned over and whispered something in his ear, but he truthfully had no idea what she had said; he thought that she had said something about an appeal but he couldn't be sure.

Within a few seconds, the jury had been thanked and dismissed and he was being placed in handcuffs and leg irons to be taken back to prison. Tony found it odd that the men and women on the jury were being thanked for basically taking away his freedom. He couldn't fault them for doing their job; if he had been on the jury, he probably would have reached the same conclusion. The only difference between him and the twelve individuals that had passed judgment on him was that he _knew_ that he didn't kill anybody.

As he was being escorted from the courtroom, he heard a familiar voice call out to him. Leroy Jethro Gibbs had stood by his side since the beginning and when others had given up, he had continued to relentlessly pursue a way to prove his innocence. Unfortunately his efforts had been in vain and now instead of walking out of the courtroom a free man, he was headed back to prison to wait for the decision that would seal his fate.

He tried to look back over his shoulder but the officers refused to let him linger; they pushed him through the flashing cameras and the media that were covering the trial and away from his friends. Tony knew that Gibbs would more than likely be at the prison before he could get back and get changed out of his suit and into his standard prison issued clothing; the team leader would be ready to discuss another plan to prove his innocence but Tony wasn't sure that he was ready to listen.

Tony barely remembered being ushered into the transport; his mind was still reeling from the verdict and all he wanted was for someone to wake him up from the nightmare that his life had become. As he stared at the scenery passing by, his thoughts were consumed by worry for his future and for everything that he had lost.

How was he going to survive life in prison? He had already spent the better part of six months in jail because the judge, wanting to make an example of him, had denied him bail, but he had managed to convince himself that the arrangement would be temporary. With the earlier proclamation of guilt, that idea had quickly become nothing but dust in the wind; his dreams of freedom would remain just that—dreams that would never come true.

In the time that he had already spent behind bars, he had quickly learned that even among prisoners, he was a pariah. He was a cop and that had automatically made him a marked man. Despite the fact that he had a cell to himself on a secure wing and spent a lot of unrequested time in solitary, he had already had several forced confrontations with the other inmates. Not only did he have to contend with the other prisoners, there were also a couple of guards who were determined to make his life utterly miserable; it seemed that they thought he deserved what he got because his actions had given good cops a bad name.

His attackers were experienced enough not to leave any visible evidence and he had never told Gibbs about the fights he had been in; Tony knew the team leader had enough to worry about trying to prove his innocence and he didn't want to add to his already heavy burden. He doubted that Gibbs had actually slept through an entire night since his arrest; the Marine had poured everything he had into the investigation, going against orders to separate himself from DiNozzo and the bad publicity that NCIS would be subjected to because of the charges brought against him.

Gibbs had defied orders and he and the team had spent every free moment they had working on his case until they had exhausted all the leads that they had uncovered. Tony appreciated Gibbs' persistence and unwavering support but he couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't time to cut his ties with Gibbs; his mentor and friend had done more for him than anyone else had his entire life and he deserved a break from the madness that now encompassed his life. All he had to do was to convince Gibbs to keep his distance and he also knew that was going to be easier said than done.

Tony was forced back to the present as the transport pulled into the prison entrance. The vehicle came to a stop and the guard motioned for him to get out of the van. He was dreading the all too familiar walk to his cell; Tony had quickly learned that he couldn't react to the threats and insults that were hurled at him by the other inmates and some of the guards or they would be able to use his fear against him and he wouldn't, no, he _couldn't_ let that happen again.

He breathed an inward sigh of relief as he passed through the secured door that led to his cell. Right now he was looking forward to the quietness that being alone permitted him to have; Tony needed to try and calm the myriad of racing thoughts that seemed intent on staying jumbled in his mind. The thought that truly troubled him was the fact that people actually thought he was capable of murder and now that he had been found guilty, those perceptions were now a reality in the minds of both his friends and total strangers.

Stepping into his cell, the guard removed his irons and he waited for the inevitable sound of the door closing and locking; it was a sound he had heard hundreds of times before but this time it seemed so final, so permanent. He sat down on his bunk and raked his hands through his hair as the exhaustion he'd been battling for months began to seep into his bones. Tony considered just curling up on his bunk and sleeping for the next couple of weeks but he couldn't allow himself that small luxury; even when he was alone, he couldn't let his guard down for that long.

The guard had given him a fresh set of clothes, courtesy of the department of corrections and tersely ordered him to change. He loosened his tie and took it off, trying not to think of it as a hangman's noose. Tony began to change, taking time to hang his suit up, knowing that it would be one of the last times that he would be able to don his favorite designer suit. All his others had been packed away and after his sentencing, he would make sure Gibbs packed this one away with the others; actually, maybe he would tell the team leader to give them to charity or something because it looked like he wouldn't need them anytime soon.

He finished changing and laid the suit across his bunk so the guard could take it when he returned. Tony began pacing the length of the small room; he knew that he had to overcome the defeatist attitude that seemed to be overwhelming him but right now, he decided he would allow himself a few more moments of self-pity.

"Hey, DiNozzo," the guard call to him. "Bring your suit over here and I'll put it up for you."

Tony did as Officer Banks instructed. Banks was one of the guards that purposefully antagonized him but today the man was subdued to the point where he was almost congenial. "No, uh, words of inspiration today, Banks?" he asked.

"Not today, DiNozzo; you've had a hard day but just remember that tomorrow is another day. You just found out your verdict today; you need some time to let it sink in."

"I figured that you would have a lot to say about the jury finding me guilty."

"I do, but it'll keep until later."

"And here I thought I wouldn't have anything to look forward to," he mumbled to himself.

"Well, you were wrong," Banks quipped. "You've got a lot to look forward to, DiNozzo; a lot of pain and humiliation. You've been found guilty, so there won't be any more special privileges. No one can protect you now; there's quite a few guys in here that want a piece of you and I might be so inclined to let them have it."

"You know, Banks; if aggravating the piss out of the inmates doesn't work out for you, you can always go on tour as a motivational speaker."

"I'll keep that in mind," the guard sneered. "In the meantime, you've got a visitor."

"Gibbs?"

"I don't know; I didn't ask. Since he's the one that comes up regularly to see you, that'd be my guess."

Tony shook his head. "I don't want to see anyone right now, especially Gibbs."

"Nobody gives a flip what you want, DiNozzo. If you don't want to see him, then _you_ can tell him; come on and stand up so I can cuff you again," Banks growled.

"Coward," he muttered, uncertain if he were speaking of Banks or himself. Conceding to the officer's orders, Tony stood up and permitted Banks to place the irons on him once again. He winced as the metal bit into his flesh; evidently the guard wasn't going to give him too much of a break after all.

As Tony walked back down the hallway with Banks escorting him; with his head held high, he looked straight ahead, once again forcing himself to ignore the cursing and slurs directed at him. Instead, his thoughts were focused on the upcoming conversation that he was going to have with Gibbs.

Tony had no idea what he was going to say to Gibbs; but he knew that somehow he had to tell the team leader to forget about him and get on with his life and although the team leader would more than likely ignore his request, he had to try and encourage the team leader to cut his losses.

He and Gibbs had been through a lot together and the unspoken familial bond between them was strong; he considered the former Marine to be more of a father to him than his own father ever had been or ever would be and for that reason alone, he didn't want Gibbs to watch him rot in prison. Tony had decided that Gibbs was just going to have to respect his wishes; in the end, it would be better for everyone and hopefully one day, Gibbs would be able to forgive him for pushing him away.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When the jury came back into the courtroom from being sequestered, Gibbs immediately noticed that they were doing their best to avoid looking at Tony; he realized that more than likely that they had returned with a guilty verdict and within a few seconds, he learned that his assumption had been correct and that Tony had been convicted of murder. He couldn't believe that the jury had found his best agent guilty of murder; the evidence was condemning but in his opinion, circumstantial and Gibbs couldn't help but feel that the jury, the prosecutor, and the judge were looking to make DiNozzo an example.

The expression of shock and disbelief on Tony's face would be forever etched in the team leader's mind. He had attempted to reach DiNozzo before the guards whisked him away but Tony was cuffed and escorted out before he could fight his way through the crowd. He had then decided that he would come to the prison and see Tony; Gibbs wanted to make sure that the younger man knew that he still believed in him. Despite what the evidence said, he knew that Tony was innocent and Gibbs had vowed that he would spend every waking moment searching for the truth until DiNozzo was exonerated. Someone had framed Tony and somehow he was going to prove it.

He glanced at his watch and mentally calculated that he'd been waiting for DiNozzo to appear on the other side of the plexiglass for about ten minutes; Gibbs had a feeling that Tony probably didn't want to see anyone but the team leader wasn't about to leave until he had spoken his peace. He couldn't allow Tony too much time to mull everything over and convince himself that there wasn't any hope or that he wasn't worth the trouble; it had taken him years to help DiNozzo to quell his insecurities and the events of past year had forced them all to the surface.

The door opened and Tony was escorted into the room. Gibbs didn't think that he would ever get used to seeing DiNozzo wearing the standard prison garb and irons; it angered him to see DiNozzo treated like a hardened criminal but the last thing Tony needed was for him to lose his temper. He had learned several months ago that his interference had often made life even more difficult for Tony and Gibbs didn't want to be responsible for any more scars than DiNozzo already carried.

Gibbs picked up the phone as Tony sat down across from him and did likewise. DiNozzo usually began their conversation with an attempt to lighten the mood and alleviate the guilt that the former Marine felt for not being able to help his man. This time, Tony was silent and the fact that DiNozzo had nothing to say scared Gibbs. He hoped that he wasn't too late and Tony had already given up; Gibbs wasn't ready to quit fighting and he wasn't about to let DiNozzo accept the fate that the jury had handed down.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked.

Tony shrugged. "I guess. Might as well be."

The older man leaned forward slightly, silently cursing the glass between them. "I want you to listen to me, Tony," he pleaded. "Are you listening?"

"I'm listening."

"The verdict today isn't the end; I haven't given up and neither can you," Gibbs insisted.

Gibbs' declaration was met with more silence. He could tell that DiNozzo wasn't convinced of the need to keep pressing forward until the truth was revealed; the justice system that Tony had put so much faith in all of his life had failed him and had literally shattered his confidence in himself and almost everyone around him.

"Did you hear me?" the team leader asked.

"I heard you," Tony mumbled.

"I need you to trust me, Tony; trust me to help you."

DiNozzo shook his head. "It's not a matter of trust, Gibbs; it's a matter of facing reality and my reality is that I'm more than likely going to face life in prison and that's if the judge is in a good mood."

"Tony, I…"

"Gibbs, please just go," the younger man begged, defeat dripping from every word.

Gibbs knew that he shouldn't have been surprised by Tony's request but that didn't stop the words from cutting through him like a knife. DiNozzo had never been fond of people coming to see him in prison; he once told Gibbs that he didn't want the memory of seeing him through a plexiglass wall be the memory that his friends carried with him. However, Gibbs had not been easily dissuaded and continued to visit DiNozzo; truthfully, none of Tony's true friends had given up on him and continued to visit him despite the fact there had been more than a few times that he had refused to see them.

"I can't do that, Tony," Gibbs quietly replied. "We're in this together."

"No, we're not. I'm in here and you can walk out that door anytime you want," Tony bitterly reminded him.

"And one day, you're going to walk out with me as a free man."

"Boss, I mean, Gibbs," Tony immediately corrected. "You did everything you could; you've got to accept that."

"Not everything. You're still in here so that tells me that I've overlooked something."

Tony's eyes narrowed; Gibbs could sense the turmoil churning inside of the dark-haired man. The agent was grateful to see some kind of emotional response from Tony; he didn't like the resigned expression of acceptance that DiNozzo had been wearing ever since he had stepped into the room.

"I can't handle your guilt on top of what I'm going to have to deal with," Tony growled, the fierceness of his words taking Gibbs by surprise.

"I don't hold you responsible for this," DiNozzo continued. "You did for more for me than anyone and don't you ever forget that. I…think you need to let this go, Gibbs."

Gibbs shook his head. "I can't. I won't. You don't belong in here and I'm not just going to give up. Don't ask me to do that, Tony."

"You have to! You have to move on, Gibbs!"

"Tony, listen to me!"

"I'm done listening, Gibbs," Tony declared. "I don't want you coming back here anymore and I don't want any of the others coming to see me either."

"We're not going to stay away, Tony."

Tony's eyes were clenched shut and he buried his head in his hand. Gibbs knew that he was trying to control his anger; the time that DiNozzo had already spent in prison had quickened his temper and more than once, Tony's short fuse and sharp tongue had created even more trouble for him. He had lost count how many times that he had come to visit DiNozzo only to be informed that Tony was in solitary confinement for fighting; Gibbs wasn't foolish enough to believe that his former agent had started all the fights but he knew Tony well enough to know that he wouldn't have simply walked away.

DiNozzo had never bore any visible injuries on his body but Gibbs knew that they existed; life in prison was not meant to be easy but because Tony had been a cop, his life had become a living hell. There was several times when he had visited that Tony had been moving slowly or was having trouble sitting upright but DiNozzo had refused to admit that anything was wrong and had purposefully changed the subject whenever Gibbs tried to press the matter.

"Fine," Tony finally rasped. "Come all you want, but don't be disappointed when I don't show up. I may not have many rights in this place, but I do know that I have the right to turn away any visitors."

"Tony, we're not giving up," Gibbs forcibly repeated.

The agent looked up to see one of guards standing over Tony indicating to him that his time was up. He saw DiNozzo acknowledge the officer with a curt nod, his eyes coming to meet the team leader's steely and determined gaze. "I've got to go," Tony announced.

"Tony, I…"

"If our friendship ever meant anything to you, Gibbs, you'll stay away."

Before Gibbs could reply, Tony hung up the phone and slowly rose from his seat. Without so much as a backward glance, DiNozzo allowed the guard to escort him from the room back to his prison cell. As the door closed, Gibbs hung up his receiver and sat back in his chair, feeling like someone had punched him in the gut; he couldn't shake the feeling that things were about to get a lot worse before they got better.

Gibbs knew that he couldn't accomplish anything by sitting around. He had a killer to find and despite Tony's constant pleas to simply forget about the case, he was going to review all the evidence again and pursue every lead until he had the proof he needed in order for Tony DiNozzo to be a free man. Gibbs had failed Tony once and he was going to have to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life; failure a second time was not an option.

**And we're off on another adventure! I can't wait to find out what you all think! Thanks so much for reading and for encouraging me to go with this story! A special shout out to AZGirl for being my sounding board on this story!**


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Gibbs stared at the calendar on his desk. Today marked the third month since DiNozzo had been sentenced to life in prison and it also marked yet another day that he had failed to prove Tony's innocence. There had to be something that he was missing; something that could make the difference between freedom and Tony having to spend the rest of his life behind bars. What was he overlooking? He despised the fact that he was going to have to face Tony and once again tell him that he had hit another brick wall while chasing down leads that had ultimately led to nowhere.

Of course, he wasn't sure that Tony would even see him. DiNozzo had only honored his request to see him twice since the sentencing but that didn't stop Gibbs from making the weekly trip to the prison just on the hope that Tony would change his mind and talk to him. His former agent's refusal to see him had greatly concerned the team leader and was a constant source of worry. He could only imagine the younger man's frame of mind; Gibbs knew that Tony had wanted him to forget about him and had been trying to push him away even before the sentencing. However, he couldn't give up on Tony; he couldn't give up on his son. Now he just had to convince DiNozzo not to give up on himself and that was going to be easier said than done; the last time Gibbs had actually seen his former agent, Tony had seemingly accepted that he was never going to see the outside of the prison walls ever again.

He allowed his mind to drift back to their last conversation, which hadn't gone well at all. During that time, Tony had only been allowed thirty minute visits unless it was with his counsel; unfortunately they had spent most of that last visit arguing, something that the agent had been kicking himself over ever since that day. Gibbs had learned that DiNozzo had dismissed his attorney and the team leader wanted to know why. The agent had been frustrated with DiNozzo for apparently giving up, and looking back, he supposed that his mood had reflected the disappointment that he felt not only in Tony but in himself as well.

His annoyance turned to anger when Tony had entered the room sporting several bruises on his face; Gibbs also noticed the abrasions on DiNozzo's knuckles indicating that Tony had fought back, a fact that both relieved and troubled the older man. He knew that this hadn't been the first brawl Tony had ever been in during his incarceration, but it was the first time that Gibbs had seen the evidence of a fight.

_***flashback***_

_Gibbs' first instinct when he saw Tony's battered face had been to demand to know who the hell had used his former agent for a punching bag, but a second look at DiNozzo forced him to tamp down his anger. Tony's jaw was clenched tightly and his piercing gaze had silently pleaded with him to let it go; that was the last thing that Gibbs wanted to do but he wasn't about to waste the few minutes that he had trying to pry the details from Tony's obviously sealed lips. _

_He cursed the plexiglass separating him from Tony; it wasn't the first time he wished he could truly ascertain the younger man's well-being but had been prevented by the physical barrier between them. It was definitely not the only thing keeping them apart; the emotional barrier that was being erected between them was fast becoming just as insurmountable. _

_DiNozzo picked up the phone. "Gibbs," Tony curtly greeted. _

"_How ya doin', Tony?"_

"_I'm fine."_

_That was the lie that Tony always gave him. Gibbs wondered what it was going to take to get DiNozzo to admit that he was anything but fine; this time the physical evidence that contradicted Tony's declaration was evident on his stoic features. "Those bruises on your face say otherwise," Gibbs pointed out._

"_Don't even start, Gibbs," the younger man warned. "If that's all you came for, you can leave now."_

"_Tony, I can't sit by and do nothing while you're apparently getting the crap beat out of you," Gibbs exclaimed, the rage he was feeling began to churn inside him. _

"_I can take care of myself," Tony growled. _

_Gibbs was taken back by the primal ferocity of Tony's words. Prison was already changing DiNozzo; he was fast becoming a shell of his former self, bitter and hardened by the harsh realities that he faced daily. Gibbs was losing his son and there was nothing he could do about it; it was that realization of helplessness that truly scared him. _

_Perhaps his fear was what caused him to lash out at the younger man; an action that he would instantly regret as soon as the words escaped his lips. "Have you looked in a mirror lately?" he snapped. "It sure doesn't look like you're doing a good job of taking care of yourself! What the hell's going on in there?"_

_He didn't back down from the daggers that Tony was shooting at him through his unforgiving orbs; Gibbs could see the anger and betrayal etched on DiNozzo's expression and the former Marine immediately knew that he had just crossed the line. Gibbs could see the tiny muscles in Tony's jaw throbbing as DiNozzo sat contemplating what the next move should be. The older man knew Tony was deciding on if he should get up and walk out or if he should stay and continue their conversation; Gibbs knew he had to convince him to stay._

"_Tony, I'm sor…"_

"_Don't apologize," Tony coolly stated._

"_Forget about the rule; I owe you an apology." _

_Tony shook his head. "No. No more apologies; just save your breath. I can't handle it anymore, Gibbs. You, Abby, McGee, Ducky; every time anyone comes, you all waste five minutes apologizing for not being able to get me out. I can't deal with it; I've got to concentrate on other things besides a false hope that I'm going to get out of here. You've spent enough time worrying about me; get on with your life and then you won't have to worry about what the hell is happening in here." _

_Gibbs inwardly winced as Tony threw his words back in his face; he supposed that he deserved the venom from Tony's sharp tongue. "We've had this conversation before, Tony; we know you're innocent and that's enough for us. You can't give up, because we haven't."_

_He saw the slight tremor in Tony's hands and Gibbs realized that DiNozzo was struggling to keep his emotions at bay. Gibbs knew that the man sitting across from him couldn't afford to show any weakness in front of the guards or the other prisoners; the price of feeling was too high. _

"_I already have, Gibbs. I can't do it anymore," Tony wearily sighed. "The only thing I can do now is survive and believe me, lately there've been a few days that I'm not so sure I want to do that, but I don't have a choice." _

"_Tony, I know it's hard but…"_

_DiNozzo smacked the table with his hand; it was the most emotion that Gibbs had seen Tony exhibit in the past few months. "You don't know anything, Gibbs! You don't know anything!"_

_Gibbs visibly bristled at the gauntlet that Tony had just thrown. He knew DiNozzo was trying to push him away and he wasn't prepared to walk away without a fight. "I would if you'd tell me what's going on!" _

"_Why? There's nothing you can do! You can't watch my back in here! I'm the only one who can do that!"_

"_Tony…"_

_Before Gibbs could try and reason with Tony, the guard came over and told DiNozzo that he had two more minutes and the team leader didn't want to spend it arguing. "Tony, just hang on a little longer," he pleaded. "Don't shut us out."_

"_Just forget about me; tell everyone to forget about me. You don't understand."_

"_Then explain it to me."_

_He saw the guard tap Tony on the shoulder indicating that his time was almost up. This visit hadn't gone at all like he planned; there had to be a way that they could talk more than a few minutes at a time. Gibbs made a mental note to see if he could somehow pull a few strings to extend their visitation. _

"_I gotta go," Tony announced._

_Gibbs realized that he was going to have to change his approach if he was going to prevent Tony from getting up and walking away before their time was up. "You've still got another minute," he pointed out. _

"_I don't have anything else to say."_

_Tony was shutting him out and Gibbs had no idea how to handle the fact that his friend no longer seemed to trust him. There was a time when DiNozzo would tell him anything; at one time, he knew Tony better than the young man knew himself. He couldn't believe that so much had changed, especially in the past few months._

"_Can you answer one more question for me?"_

"_What?"_

"_Why'd you let your lawyer go?" Gibbs inquired._

"_The funds have run out, Gibbs. I can't afford her and besides, I really don't need her services anymore."_

"_I…"_

"_Gibbs, leave it alone. The sooner people forget about me, the better off they'll be."_

_Gibbs leaned forward, desperate to see a sign that Tony was still willing to fight for his freedom. "Sounds like to me that you're feeling sorry for yourself."_

"_Is that what you think?" Tony challenged. _

"_Prove me wrong," Gibbs shot back._

_He saw Tony acknowledge the guard who had indicated that his time was now up. "Time's up."_

"_Think about what I said; I'll see you next week," the team leader promised. _

"_Don't waste your time; just stay away." Tony hung up the phone and slowly rose from his chair. _

_After DiNozzo had disappeared through the door with the guard, Gibbs stood and turned to leave. The guard who had granted the team leader access to the visitation room stepped in his path. "You don't get it, do you Agent Gibbs?" _

_Gibbs glared at the guard. "Excuse me?" _

"_Everybody in this place knows DiNozzo was a cop. You keep showing up and reminding everyone that he's still got ties to the brotherhood; let's just say that the other inmates don't take too kindly to that. Life in prison hasn't been good to your boy," the officer stated._

"_Can you give me names?" Gibbs pressed. _

"_Doesn't work that way, Gibbs. Maybe you should do as DiNozzo has asked and stay away."_

"_I can't do that."_

"_Then you're the one signing his death warrant."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" the team leader demanded to know._

_The guard opened the door and motioned for Gibbs to leave. "Have a nice day, sir. I guess we'll see you next week."_

"_Wait a minute, you can't…"_

"_This isn't your turf, Agent Gibbs. Have a nice day."_

_The door closed and Gibbs reluctantly proceeded to the area where he had checked his weapon. Making his way to his car, the agent couldn't help but consider the guard's words; was his presence truly making Tony's life even more difficult that it already was? Should he honor Tony's wishes and stay away? He shook his head as he pushed those thoughts aside. Gibbs knew that he couldn't permit Tony to face the future alone; despite DiNozzo's efforts at pushing him away, he intended on remaining firmly planted by Tony's side._

_***end flashback***_

Every subsequent week since then, Tony had declined to see him; he could only hope that today would be different. Gibbs was discovering that he was beginning to understand how DiNozzo was viewing his circumstances and he couldn't blame him for his actions or for the last words he had uttered. He buried his face in his hands as the anger welled up in him. Gibbs despised the powerless feeling that had been consuming him the past months; as time marched on, so did the possibility that Tony would spend the rest of his life in prison.

Months of pent up rage erupted as he took his arm and cleared his desk in one fell swoop. "Damn it!" he roared, not caring about the stares that he was receiving from his own team.

Pushing himself to his feet, he grabbed his coffee and headed towards the elevator, tersely ordering McGee to clean up the disaster that he had just created.

"Where are you going?" McGee nervously asked.

"Lab."

As he started to push the button to call the elevator, the doors opened and he was nearly bowled over by Abby, whose unbridled exuberance gave him a glimmer of hope that she had found something. "You've got something?"

Gibbs saw the tears well up in Abby's eyes. "I _think_ I've got something." The forensic scientist had been working even harder than he had trying to find something that would clear Tony's name. She had taken DiNozzo's arrest and sentencing personally because it had been her evidence that had convicted him; Abby had been relentless in her effort to prove Tony's innocence and judging by her expression, it looked like her hard work was about to pay off.

"You think? What is it?" he asked.

He followed her as she grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the elevator. "Come on! I have to show you!"

For the first time in a long time, Gibbs was starting to feel that things could possibly be starting to look up for Tony; perhaps he would be able to deliver some good news to DiNozzo and that would hopefully inspire the younger man not to give up. With a renewed sense of purpose, Gibbs followed Abby into her lab and stood beside her as she began frantically typing on the keyboard in front of her.

"Show me what you've got, Abs."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony DiNozzo took the towel and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He had just finished his morning workout, an event that had become a ritual to him, providing him with something to focus on besides his current situation. Tony had quickly discovered that if he was going to survive he had to be strong physically and emotionally; he had purposefully buried his emotions, locking them away forever so they couldn't be used against him.

The first few fights that he had been in had taught him that he couldn't show any weakness and that he could expect a heap of trouble from everyone because he had been a cop. Although he was usually kept separated from the general population, there were several times a day when he was forced to mingle with the other inmates. Tony tried to keep a low profile but found it to be nearly impossible; if it wasn't the inmates harassing him, then it was the guards and it seemed like lately, things were getting worse. DiNozzo figured that he wouldn't have to spend life in prison; if the guards and inmates continued to have their way, he would be dead long before then.

Survival of the fittest had become the name of the game and it was a game that the rules were self explanatory. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he had changed, not out of desire but out of necessity; Tony knew that he was losing himself a little more each day. Pretty soon, he knew that there would be nothing left of Anthony DiNozzo; all that would remain would be Inmate 675962.

He studied his reflection in the mirror. Tony could barely stand to look at himself anymore. His physical appearance had changed greatly; his muscles were now more defined, his hair was a little longer than it used to be and he usually kept a two or three day growth of a beard. He wanted to hide any remains of the man he used to be; Tony had to focus on the man he was forced to become.

Glancing at his calendar, he noted that today marked the third month since his sentencing. Tony also was aware of the fact that it was Tuesday and that meant that Gibbs would more than likely be making an appearance. He had refused to see him for over two months but the team leader continued to show up for a weekly visit and would more than likely do so again. The sight of Gibbs and of his other colleagues was too painful a reminder of what he had lost and could never get back. During that last visit, Tony had all but dropped to his knees and begged for Gibbs not to come back, but the team leader still refused to listen.

Tony was forced out of his musings by the sound of his door unlocking. He quickly turned around as the guard entered the cell. "What do you want, Banks?" Tony growled.

"It's time to go to the courtyard; got to get your fresh air," the officer sneered.

"I'll pass."

"Not an option. Let's go."

Tony threw his towel on his bunk and started to exit his cell; Banks stopped him and ordered his hands to be put in front of him. "What the hell?" Tony asked. "You're cuffing me to take me to the courtyard? I thought we were beyond that."

"Just shut up and move, DiNozzo."

He had a feeling that he was about to be cast into the lion's den, but he doubted that the Lord would shut these lion's mouths. Banks escorted him down the corridor to the door that would lead to the courtyard. Tony noticed that several of the cells that should be occupied were empty, causing warning klaxons to sound in head; it was obvious that he was being set up…again. Bringing his cuffed hands up, he elbowed the guard in the gut and then kicked the man's legs out from under him; unfortunately, that was the only two blows that he had been able to get in before he was tackled to the floor by another guard.

Banks managed to get to his feet and open the door as Tony struggled against the other officer. He was thrown into the courtyard and he quickly stood to his feet. As he looked around, he noticed that he couldn't see any of the guards that were normally posted around the vicinity, causing DiNozzo to mutter a curse under his breath. Tony immediately knew that things had gone from bad to worse as a group of inmates encircled him; he could tell by the feral look in the men's eyes that they intended to kill him or worse.

He took a defensive stand the best he could and for the first time in a long time, Tony silently wished that Gibbs would walk through the door.

**You guys are amazing. Thank you for adding this story to your alerts and favorites! I also want to especially thank those who read and those who took the time to leave a review; it truly inspires me to keep writing. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.**

**Thanks to AZGirl for the outstanding beta! Any remaining mistakes are mine.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

Charles Sterling was feeling very satisfied with himself at the moment; for once, everything was going his way and in just a couple more days, he would be out of the country and well on his way to forging a new life for himself. He hadn't decided where he would go, but as long as he was away from Washington D.C. and NCIS, it really didn't matter. What _did_ matter was that Tony DiNozzo was spending life in prison, providing he actually lived that long; thanks to a plan that he perceived to be pure genius, Charles had managed to make sure that the evidence had been very condemning, resulting in a guilty verdict from the jury.

It had been difficult to disguise his sheer pleasure when Abby had returned from court and informed him of the verdict; she and the rest of the team had been devastated that Tony had been found guilty and he had outwardly mirrored their sorrow and concern. Personally, Charles believed that he should have earned an Oscar for his performance but alas, his acting accomplishments would have to be acknowledged another time. He had beaten Abby at her own game, in fact, he had beaten them all and had emerged victorious; Tony DiNozzo would never again taste freedom.

His triumph had been even sweeter when he learned that DiNozzo had refused to see anyone after his sentencing. According to his brother-in-law, Carl Banks, who was a guard in the prison, Tony had almost taken up the lifestyle of a hermit, preferring solitude to interaction of any kind. DiNozzo was usually either in solitary or the infirmary and neither of those places were conducive to conversation or forging alliances. Everyone knew that Tony was a former cop and wanted to make his life as miserable as possible and according to his source, the inmates and the guards were doing everything in their power to make sure DiNozzo suffered.

Charles wished that he could be there to watch the man that he so desperately despised endure the torment and pain that was constantly being inflicted upon him. One of these days, Charles wanted to be able to stand in front of Tony DiNozzo and tell the former agent that _he_ was the one responsible for ruining his life; he knew that day could never come, but Charles could still dream. It troubled him that no one would be able to appreciate his superb brilliance but he forced himself to be content to bask in his private victory.

Glancing at his watch, he knew that he would soon be receiving a call from his brother-in-law to provide him with a daily report; nothing made his day more than hearing about what kind of pain had been inflicted on his nemesis. Carl had told him that he had plans for DiNozzo and that if everything went according to plan that Tony would be in a world of hurt and Charles couldn't wait to find out the details. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that former Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo deserved every bit of agony that had been and would be dealt to him; DiNozzo would regret the day that the former agent had crossed his path.

He figured that he had a few more minutes before Carl called him, so he sat down in front of his computer and began to write his letter of resignation; his job at NCIS was complete and he was ready to move on. Charles had grown tired of watching Abby run test after test, often redoing them several times; although she had yet to find anything that would prove Tony's innocence, he had decided that he wasn't going to stick around any longer than necessary. Abby was extremely smart and given time, she would figure out that he had purposefully sabotaged some of her results and he didn't want to be around when she finally realized what he had done. A smile danced on his lips; part of him wished that he could be around when Abby had to admit that he had outsmarted her, but once again, he knew that was impossible. He would be taking too great of chance by staying and he was not one to take uncalculated risks.

It only took him a couple of minutes to type out his resignation. As he hit the button to print out his letter, he quickly addressed the envelope to Director Shepard and put a stamp on it so he could drop it off at the post office. By the time that the Director received it, he would be on a plane, on his way to his new home. He wasn't sure where he was going to put down stakes, but that was a decision that he didn't have to make right now. The one thing that he knew for certain was that from now on his life would be easy sailing and he could live his life to the fullest knowing that he had successfully destroyed the man known as Tony DiNozzo.

"What can I say?" he mumbled to himself. "I'm just…I'm just brilliant."

The sound of his phone ringing interrupted his moment of self-adulation. Charles figured that it was Carl, but habit forced him to look at the caller ID. When the name of Abby Sciuto appeared instead, he briefly panicked as he wondered why she would be calling him; the renowned scientist had never felt the need to call him before when he was working for her and Charles had a feeling that this wasn't a social call. He allowed his answering machine to pick up and he listened carefully to her message.

"Hey Chip, it's Abby; I was wondering if you could come in and help process some evidence. I'm really behind and need some help."

He barely heard the rest of her message as rage began to course through every fiber of his being. "My name is Charles! How many times do I have to tell you people? You need _my_ help? I don't think so! Who do you think you're dealing with? I'm smarter than all of you! I managed to…" Charles abruptly stopped his rant and blew out a long breath; he then began to laugh, his previous anger all but forgotten. "Oh, Abby, I wish I could tell you how pathetic you and your friends are!"

The phone rang again but this time it was his brother-in-law. Still laughing, he answered, "Carl, it's good to hear from you! What's up?"

"Uh…are you okay?" the other man asked.

"I'm better than okay; I'm great! So, what's the latest?"

Putting the phone call from Abby out of his mind, he sat down on his couch and listened to the details of DiNozzo's latest troubles; he savored every morsel of information that Carl provided him with. As he listened, Charles couldn't help but think how good his life was and right now, he couldn't imagine how it could get any better.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When Abby had informed him that she had found something, Gibbs had felt a renewed sense of hope and that had spurned a rush of adrenaline that he hadn't experienced in the while. He had listened patiently as Abby had explained how she had been reexamining the carpet fiber that she had pulled out of Tony's car; she had found traces of sweat on it and the DNA had come back as belonging to Chip. Abby had been surprised by the results; she had assumed that maybe the evidence had been contaminated and was going to run it again to see if the results were the same.

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee. "So were they any different the second time around?" he wanted to know.

"I haven't run it yet."

He had to admit that he was confused by the fact that Abby had yet to repeat the test; she was as determined as he was to prove Tony's innocence so there had to be a good reason that she was seemingly putting it off. "Why not?" Gibbs asked.

"I came early in this morning to run the test again," she began to explain. "I wanted to be sure because this is Tony's life we're talking about. I mean I failed him once and I can't stand to hit another brick wall. Tony deserves…"

"Abs!" he barked, the tone of voice sharper than he intended.

"Right." She took a deep breath and blew it out. "I need a Caf-Pow."

Gibbs held a cup up, just out of her reach. "Talk first," the team leader instructed.

"Okay. Like I said, I came in early to run the test again and I met Stan, the night security guard, and he told me something very interesting."

"And that would be?"

"Stan said that Chip came in last night and cleaned out his personal belongings."

"That's convenient."

"That's what I thought," she agreed. "So, I decided to pull the video and see exactly what Chipster was doing last night and I found something very interesting."

Gibbs watched the monitor as Abby queued up the feed. He watched as Chip put what the agent assumed was the man's personal items in a box; the agent noticed that he didn't have a lot of possessions but took great care in putting them in the small carton. Chip then walked over to one of the pictures that Abby had of Tony; she had decorated her lab with photographs of DiNozzo stating that she felt close to him even though he wasn't around. Sterling was talking to the photograph, his expression betraying Chip's obvious anger.

"What's he saying?" He knew that Abby's ability to read lips and that she would be able to tell word for word what Chip was saying.

"Well, right now, he's laughing," she observed.

Gibbs stared at the monitor as he listened to Abby quote the obviously troubled man.

"Well, former Special Agent DiNozzo," Abby repeated. "I guess this is so long; I wish I could say goodbye in person, but I can't. I'm leaving the country; something you can't do because you're in prison. I wonder if they'll ever figure it out. I wonder if they'll figure out that they've been beaten at their own game. I told you that one day I would get even with you and I did."

Abby grew silent. Gibbs pulled her into a comforting hug and placed a kiss on the side of her head. "Keep going, Abs," he gently urged. "What else is he saying?"

She pulled from his embrace and rewound the video a few seconds so she could pick up where she had left off. Clearing her throat, she continued. "I still can't believe that you didn't remember me; I thought about you every day for a lot of years. One of these days, right before you draw your last breath, I'll make sure you know who put you in prison. Guess I better go, but don't worry; take care and keep thinking positive. Maybe I'll send you a postcard."

"He's laughing again," Abby quietly stated.

Gibbs' rage was quickly rising like floodwaters threatening to bust through a levy. He handed Abby her Caf-Pow as he continued to stare at the screen. The team leader had seen and thanks to Abby, heard enough that he wanted to question the young man. If Charles Sterling was in any way responsible for the hell that DiNozzo had been through, the former sniper wouldn't be responsible for his actions. Hiring Chip had been Jenny's idea, despite the livid protests from him and Abby; could Sterling's employment at NCIS been part of an elaborate set up?

Gibbs didn't want Chip to know that they were on to him so he had instructed Abby to call him and see if he would come into work. Judging by the message that she had left her former assistant, Chip wasn't answering his phone; he quickly called Ziva and McGee to go to Sterling's place and pick him up. They obeyed without question and Gibbs knew that the two agents wouldn't dare return empty handed.

He gave Abby another quick kiss on her cheek. "That's good work, Abs," he said as he turned to leave.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to see Tony."

"He won't see you."

He detected a hint of sadness in her voice. Gibbs hadn't been the only one that Tony had refused to see; Abby had returned several times in tears, devastated by the fact that the man whom she considered to be closer than a brother, had denied her request to visit him. The lead agent had tried to tell Abby that she shouldn't take it personally; Tony didn't want anyone seeing him behind bars and had relieved them of what he perceived to be a burden. His words had done very little to soothe her frayed nerves; Gibbs had to admit, he didn't believe them either.

"He'll see me."

"What makes this time any different?" she wanted to know.

"Because this time, I'm going over DiNozzo's head."

He strode across the room and towards the elevator. Gibbs felt a new sense of determination and he was not going to be deterred from his purpose. Tony deserved to have some good news and he was going to be the one to deliver it. He realized that he probably should have something more concrete, but at this point, it didn't matter; it was a glimmer of hope and he was going to hold on to it for all he was worth.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The sound of gunshots rang out in the courtyard and his attackers scattered. Tony could hear the chaos around him as the guards ordered the inmates back to their cells for a lockdown. He certainly hoped that they didn't expect him to follow their orders because at the moment, moving was out of the question; actually he wasn't so sure that breathing was going to be possible for much longer. The pain coursing through him was unbearable; Tony felt like he was on fire and there wasn't anyone around to extinguish the flame. As darkness began to envelop him once again, he realized that it was beginning to look like he wasn't going to have to worry about spending the rest of his life in prison

He was suddenly rolled over onto his back and he felt his hands being released from the bonds. The flurry of activity around him caused him to panic and he began to struggle against the hands that were apparently trying to help him. Tony cried out in pain as the slightest movement sent shockwaves of agony coursing through his body; he couldn't stop the tears streaming from his swollen eyes as the guards pulled away from him and stood helplessly by. He could barely hear the hushed conversation around him, but he could sense that he was in serious trouble.

Within a few moments the staff from the infirmary were shoving past the guards and kneeling beside him, asking him questions that he couldn't answer. Tony finally heard the doctor order a chopper to airlift him to the hospital. The fact that he couldn't be treated in the infirmary confirmed the direness of his situation; he was dying and truthfully, he didn't care. It might be the coward's way out, but at least he wouldn't hurt anymore.

Tony heard Dr. Tyler, the physician who usually treated him whenever he ended up in the infirmary, call out to him; the older man's voice betrayed both fear and concern. "DiNozzo! Can you hear me?"

A strangled gasp was the only reply he could manage. It was getting harder to breathe and he was reminded of the last time that he was fighting for every breath; Gibbs had ordered him not to die and he hadn't dared disobeyed a direct order from the team leader. Of course, Gibbs was no longer his team leader and he didn't have to obey him, but for some reason he still didn't want to disappoint his former mentor.

He didn't flinch when he felt the IV canula inserted into his hand. The pain that was raging through every fiber of his being was quickly consuming him as he begged for the void of darkness to swallow him up; Tony was so tired of hurting and he would welcome a journey into oblivion but he was unable to take that first step because Dr. Tyler wasn't willing to let him go.

"DiNozzo! DiNozzo! I need you stay with me!" Tyler ordered.

"N…no," he moaned. "H…hurts."

"I know that. I need you tell me where it hurts."

Tony figured it would be easier to tell him what didn't hurt but that was impossible; there was no way in hell he could pinpoint any one place that wasn't causing him excruciating anguish. Why couldn't the doctor just leave him alone? Tyler had never been this concerned about him before

and he couldn't figure out why the doctor seemed to care about him now.

"DiNozzo! Answer me!"

He began to cough; his blood spattered his lips trying to suck in air. Tony knew enough to know that he was drowning in his own blood; he could no longer fight against the pain nor did he want to. As he fought for his next breath, he allowed himself to slowly succumb to a state of blessed unconsciousness. Tony was vaguely aware of the further life saving measures of the doctor and his team nor did he seem to hear the arrival of the chopper that would whisk him away to the hospital. He sank deeper into the state of unawareness, realizing that he longer had to deal with the pain _and_ more importantly, he didn't have to remember everything that had just happened because remembering was the last thing that he wanted to do.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs was more than frustrated; he was genuinely ticked off. He had been denied access through the prison gate because of some riot that had occurred in the courtyard. The guard had informed him that the compound was on lockdown and they were waiting for a flight for life chopper to arrive; apparently one of the inmates had been critically injured and was going to be transported to the hospital. The guard wouldn't tell him the name of the inmate who had been hurt, claiming that he didn't know, but Gibbs' gut was screaming at him; he knew exactly who was being put on that chopper.

The team leader leaned against his car and watched as the chopper touched down in the courtyard. Within five minutes, the helicopter had lifted off again and was heading towards the hospital. Gibbs quickly deduced which trauma center that the pilot would take the prisoner to and got in his car and began to weave his way through traffic, hoping to get there right after the chopper; he wanted answers and he obviously wasn't going to get them from the guard at the gate. He had to know if Tony was the man who had been grievously injured; Gibbs wasn't sure what he would do if DiNozzo was hurt, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that someone would pay dearly.

Within a few minutes, he arrived at the hospital; the chopper had already landed but he hadn't been far behind. Gibbs pulled into the closest parking place he could find and darted into the emergency room. He stopped at the front desk and asked the nurse if she knew the name of the prisoner that had just arrived.

"I don't have that information yet and even if I did, I can't release it," she testily replied.

"It's a simple question," he growled.

"And I gave you a simple answer."

Gibbs leaned forward, his icy glare clearly unnerving the nurse. He wasn't in the mood to argue with the woman, especially if it was Tony's life on the line. "Maybe you should go and try and find out something."

"I'm not promising anything," she replied as she went down towards the trauma room.

The team leader watched which room she went in; if he didn't get a satisfactory answer from the nurse, he would go seek his own answers. The not knowing was killing him; the thought that the injured man lying in that room could be DiNozzo was almost unbearable. Part of him wanted the nurse to come back and tell him that it wasn't Tony who had been hurt, but his gut was still telling him otherwise. Gibbs didn't want to consider the possibility of losing Tony just when it looked like he and the team were so close to clearing his name; he was beginning to wonder if Tony was right and the DiNozzo luck had truly run out.

**All right! I know that this chapter has seemingly been a long time coming, but I do appreciate your patience and that it was worth the wait. My special thanks to AZGirl for helping me break through that brick wall that I had hit; just note that any remaining mistakes are mine alone. You my friend, are awesome! Anyway, thank you readers for your support and encouragement. I hope you enjoyed it!**


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

Timothy McGee and Ziva David had been confused by their orders to bring Chip Sterling in for questioning, but knowing better than to doubt the surly team leader's motives, they wisely obeyed and were now on their way to the scientist's apartment. An awkward silence hung over them like a dark cloud as they each considered Gibbs' recent behavior. Although they all had been working hard in an effort to prove Tony's innocence, Gibbs had become a man obsessed, determined to find something that would secure DiNozzo's freedom. There were times that the Marine had seemingly reached his limits but he kept pushing himself and pushing them; neither of them dared to challenge Gibbs' authority even if they sometimes questioned his methods.

"Why do you think Gibbs wants to talk to Chip?" McGee asked, shattering the stillness of the moment.

"I do not know," Ziva replied. "The reason is not ours to question; we are merely to follow orders."

"I know," he sighed. "But aren't you the least bit curious?"

"Curiosity killed the rat, McGee."

"Cat," Tim automatically corrected. Tony used to be the one that was constantly correcting Ziva when she misspoke but in the last year, that responsibility had naturally fallen on his shoulders.

"Whatever," she sighed in disgust. "Gibbs wants us to bring Chip in and that is what we are going to do; I am quite certain that he does not want us to sit here and contemplate his instructions."

"You're probably right," McGee conceded. "I just wish that sometimes he would let us know what's going on; I think sometimes Gibbs forgets that we want to help prove Tony's innocence just as much as he does."

"This…situation has been difficult for everyone. I admit that I do not know Tony that well, but I do know that he is not capable of cold blooded murder," Ziva stated, her cultured tone exuding a confidence that McGee wished he could share.

He knew that Gibbs and Tony shared a special father and son relationship that few understood. Up until DiNozzo had been accused of a gruesome murder, McGee had thought that he had finally started to understand their unusual familial bond. After his arrest, Tony had started distancing himself from Gibbs and the team, which clearly frustrated the team leader, putting a definite strain on DiNozzo and Gibbs' friendship.

Every day that Tony spent in jail was another day that Gibbs seemed to withdraw into himself even more; McGee would never describe the lead agent as being chatty but ever since Tony had been sentenced, their leader had become more reclusive and at the same time, more demanding. They all needed a break, both physically and mentally; however, until Tony was out of prison, there wouldn't be any rest for the weary.

"Tony's not a murderer," he firmly agreed.

McGee thought back to their last conversation; it was the night before the jury had returned with the verdict. He would never forget his former teammate's final words as the figurative mantle that Tony had worn over the years was passed on to him; there were a lot of days that he wished that he had never accepted the burden that DiNozzo had placed upon him.

_***flashback***_

_McGee stared at his friend through the plexiglass barrier, knowing that there was something that was weighing heavily on his mind. Tony rarely agreed to see anyone but Gibbs and even those visits were becoming few and far between; DiNozzo's counsel had called him and informed him that Tony wanted to talk to him, thus prompting this particular visit. _

_Tim cleared his throat. "How're you doing, Tony?" He winced as the words escaped his lips. His mouth had once again gotten ahead of his brain; hopefully DiNozzo would just ignore his obviously stupid question. _

"_Couldn't be better, Tim," Tony replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. _

"_I uh…didn't…mean…"_

_Tony waved him off. "Forget it; I didn't want to see you so we could sit here and chit chat about the weather."_

"_O…okay." He was slightly taken back by Tony's abrupt manner. The former senior agent had always spoken his mind but now his tone betrayed his hidden anger at his current circumstances. _

"_So, what did you want to talk to me about?"_

"_I have a favor."_

_DiNozzo now possessed McGee's undivided attention. "A favor?" Tony had never asked anything from him and the fact that he was doing so now told him of the seriousness and the sincerity of his friend's next words. "What is it?"_

"_I'm not sure how this thing's going to turn out," Tony began. "I have a feeling that the jury…well, I'm not sure they believe that I'm innocent." _

_McGee waited patiently for DiNozzo to collect his thoughts; it was odd to see the dark-haired man at a loss for words. Tony blew out a long, drawn out breath. "Anyway, I've always made sure that I've watched Gibbs' back; he and I have had this…understanding since I started NCIS that we…uh…" _

"_What, Tony?" Tim pressed. It was evident that whatever this favor was weighing heavily on DiNozzo and at the moment, McGee knew he would do anything Tony asked him to do. _

"_I need to know that you're going to have Gibbs' six."_

_Tim met Tony's determined gaze. It was important for DiNozzo to know that there would be someone looking out for Gibbs and the fact that he wanted to pass this responsibility to McGee was a testimony to the faith that Tony had in him. He had always viewed DiNozzo as the big brother who did everything possible to get on his nerves, but yet when push came to shove, Tim had always been able to count on Tony to look after him, often teaching him something in the process. During the past two years, McGee had grown both personally and professionally and he attributed a lot of that growth to Tony and his unique approach to life. _

_Tim swallowed hard. "You can count on me, Tony," McGee vowed. "I won't let you down."_

_He didn't miss the relief that flooded Tony's exhausted features. For the first time, Tim truly noticed how tired the ex-agent appeared; his time in prison was already taking its toll on Tony. _

"I know you won't, Tim." Tony raked his hands through his hair; McGee could tell that the weight that had encumbered him had been lifted and now DiNozzo would be able to focus on taking care of himself and judging by the faded bruises that Tony was sporting, self-preservation had become a way of life.

_Before McGee could reply, Tony stood up and nodded his thanks as he walked over to the guard who was standing at the door. Tim found himself staring at the door for several minutes after Tony had walked through it, trying to ignore the feeling that this would be one of the last times that he would see his friend and his mentor. Rising from his seat, he claimed his weapon from the guard outside the visiting area and made his way to his car. As he slid into the driver's seat, he laid his head against the steering wheel, replaying the events of the past few minutes in his mind. Tim had accepted what was both a challenge and an honor; he just hoped that he would be able to keep his promise. _

_***end flashback***_

"McGee!"

Ziva's sharp tone forced him back to the present. Tim silently admonished himself for permitting himself to lose focus; he could hear Tony reminding that a good agent was always aware of his surroundings. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I was just thinking."

"About Tony?"

McGee nodded. "Yeah."

His partner wisely chose not to pry into his personal thoughts; no one knew about the promise that he had made to Tony and he preferred to keep it that way. The vow that he had made was his last personal connection to the former senior field agent and he didn't want to want to share it with anyone.

As Ziva pulled up in front of Chip's apartment, Tim noticed that Sterling's car was parked on the side of the road. "It looks like he's here," he observed.

"It would appear so," Ziva conceded.

McGee opened his door, a renewed sense of determination coursing through his veins. "Let's go get him." As he strode towards the entrance of the building with Ziva in tow, Tim found himself hoping that Gibbs' interrogation of Chip would provide them with something that would help his friend; after all this time, Tony deserved for something to finally go his way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Five minutes. It had been five minutes of pure agony since the nurse had disappeared into the trauma room to discover the identity of the man who was currently being subjected to life saving measures. Gibbs still couldn't shake the feeling that she was going to return and tell him that it _was_ Tony in that room. He was having a hard time accepting the possibility that DiNozzo could be gravely injured and knew that he had to be prepared for the worse.

Tired of waiting, Gibbs stalked down the corridor towards the trauma room; he would find out what was going on for himself. As he reached for the door, his cell phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, he recognized the main number from the prison; the agent's gut was confirming his suspicions and part of him was almost afraid to answer the phone. However, he had to know for sure what was going on so he stepped away from the door and answered the call.

"Gibbs," he gruffly answered.

"Agent Gibbs, this Dr. Tyler from…"

"I know who you are," Gibbs retorted, purposefully cutting the prison doctor off. He wasn't in the mood deal with any pleasantries; all he wanted to know was what the hell had happened to Tony.

He heard the physician clear his throat before deciding to continue. "I'm calling to inform you that there has been an…incident involving DiNozzo and several of the other inmates."

Gibbs clenched his jaw so tightly that he thought his teeth would shatter. "An incident? What kind of…_incident_ was he involved in?"

"I'm not sure of the details; I just know that he was injured badly during a fight. DiNozzo was attacked in the courtyard and was beaten badly and stabbed several times; I do know that his lung was punctured and he was losing a lot of blood. I uh… helped stabilize him enough so he could be airlifted to a trauma center. I have the name of the hospital right here and…"

The team leader couldn't believe the apparent ineptitude of the doctor; it was obvious by the bruises that Tony constantly sported that Dr. Tyler wasn't too concerned about his patient's welfare. "I don't need the name of the hospital; I'm standing outside his room right now."

"I didn't call to get in an argument with you, Agent Gibbs; technically, I didn't have to call you at all but Warden Phillips insisted that I let you know about DiNozzo."

Gibbs was taken back by the doctor's revelation. "What do you mean that you didn't have to call me? I'm DiNozzo's next of kin."

"Not according to the information that I have in my file," Tyler informed him. "DiNozzo doesn't have a next of kin listed; I guess you're lucky that you've instilled enough fear in the Warden that he thought it in his best interest to let you know what happened."

"You haven't told me anything except for the fact that Tony was seriously injured which I had already figured out! I want to know who assaulted him and I want to why he was even in the courtyard with the other inmates! Where were the guards?"

"That's all I know; if you want any further details, you're going to have to talk to the Warden."

"Believe me, I will," Gibbs vowed. "I'll find out what's going on; you better warn Warden Phillips that he better have his story straight when I get there."

Gibbs hung up, his fist making contact with the wall as he released the fury that had been begging for an escape; he hated losing control of his emotions, but the circumstances of the past several hours had left his nerves frayed. The agent had hoped to be able to tell Tony that they had a breakthrough in his case, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon; he wasn't even sure that Tony was still alive but he was going to find out.

Ignoring the stares of those around him, Gibbs entered the trauma room, prepared to demand that someone tell him how Tony was doing. However as the door closed behind him, he found that he couldn't move as he gaze was riveted on the doctors and nurses that were working feverishly to save Tony. He could hear bits and pieces of the separate conversations taking place between the medical staff and in the few seconds that he had been in the room, Gibbs had learned that Tony had already coded once and was in danger of doing so again.

"Come on, Tony," he whispered. "Fight!"

The nurse who had supposedly been checking on Tony's status finally noticed his presence; Gibbs deduced that her assistance must have been necessary, explaining her failure to return and provide him with an update.

"You have to leave, Sir," the nurse insisted.

"I won't get in the way," Gibbs stated, his gaze still fixed on Tony's too still form.

"You can't be in here! Please," she pleaded. "I will let you know what's going on as soon as I can!"

Gibbs started to protest, but the frenzied movement of the doctors and nurses silenced his objections as they surrounded Tony's gurney and began pushing it out of the trauma room towards the elevator that would take them to the operating wing. He was forced into a light jog in order to keep up with the medical staff; it was obvious that time was a luxury that neither the doctors nor DiNozzo had.

He stood aside as Tony's gurney was pushed into the elevator; Gibbs struggled against the urge to force his way to DiNozzo's side, but he knew that he would only get in the way. As the elevator doors closed, the team leader stared at his distorted reflection in the metal doors as he tamped down the nausea that had been threatening to overtake him ever since he had first seen Tony's bloody and battered body. Gibbs was brought back to the present moment as the nurse called out his name.

"Agent Gibbs?"

The agent scrubbed his face and nodded; he followed her back over to her desk, hoping that she would be able to provide him with some answers. "I'm sorry that I couldn't get back out here any sooner, but I guess you figured out why I was detained," she sated.

Realizing that he didn't even know the woman's name, he glanced at her nametag before replying, "I think I have a good idea, Ms. Jameson."

"You can call me Liz," she stated. "Anyway, I can't tell you a lot; I'm not even supposed to tell you what his name is but…"

"I know it's Tony," Gibbs sighed. "I got a call after you went in the room; the doctor from the prison told me that he was brought here."

"I'm sorry," Liz said.

"I heard one of the doctors say that he coded."

The nurse nodded. "He did; his bleeding out causing his blood pressure to bottom out," she explained. "I don't know a lot of details but once they get him into surgery, either Dr. Coleman or Dr. Neal will be able to tell you more. You are the next of kin, right?"

Gibbs recalled Dr. Tyler's words stating that Tony didn't have him listed as next of kin in his medical file; he made a mental note to try and figure why Tony had purposefully removed him from the position. He remembered years ago when DiNozzo first started NCIS, it had taken the young man several months to summon the nerve to ask him to fill that role; he had to admit that he was a little hurt in being removed as his next of kin.

"Last time I looked," he finally answered, fully aware of the half-truth that he was uttering.

"If you want to wait in the lounge on the surgical wing, I'll make sure one of the doctors comes and speaks with you."

He was grateful that Liz didn't press the next of kin issue; Gibbs was desperate for information regarding DiNozzo and he was not in the mood to get into a power struggle over whether or not he had a right to know how Tony was doing. Nodding his thanks, he headed towards the waiting area located on the surgical floor; all he could do now was wait and as he had been told more than once, patience wasn't his strongest virtue.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Charles had been forced to cut his call short when someone had knocked on his apartment door. He had been taking immense pleasure in listening to his brother-in-law regale him with details of the beating that his nemesis had been subjected to and the thought that DiNozzo had been injured so severely that he had to be airlifted to the trauma center had been exhilarating. He wanted the former agent to suffer and it looked like for once, he was going to get his wish.

He walked over to the door and looked through the peephole to discover Ziva David and Agent McGee standing outside in the hallway. Why were they knocking on his door? What could they want? A sense of panic began to rise within him as Charles wondered if they had figured out his grand scheme; he quickly tamped down that thought, knowing that they weren't intelligent enough to discover what he had to done.

The young man laughed to himself for giving the agents too much credit. Glancing in the mirror that was on the wall beside the door, he began to talk to his reflection. "Charles, you worry too much," he assured himself. "You covered your tracks; no one knows what you've done."

"Chip! It's Agent McGee. Can you open the door, please?"

Charles visibly bristled at the moniker. They all knew how much he hated that nickname, yet they continued to use it with such ease. The crack in the dam that normally held back his emotions widened as his anger began to swell. He jerked the door open, his eyes betraying the frustration and rage that was quickly consuming him. "MY name is Charles! Get it right, Agent McGee!"

"Uh…sorry, Chi…Charles," McGee stammered.

"What do you want?" he snapped, forcing his temper back into a locked box. Charles knew that he had to remain focused or the perfect world he had created for himself would start crumbling.

"We need you to come down to NCIS with us and…"

"I can't right now," he fumed. "I'm busy."

He noticed McGee staring past him at his suitcase that was sitting behind the couch. "Are you going somewhere?" Tim asked.

"I'm going on a vacation."

"To where?"

"None of your business!"

"You're going to have to postpone that trip for a while; like I said, we need you to come down to NCIS and answer a few questions."

"I don't think so," Charles growled.

"You can either go willingly or we can take you in the hard way," Ziva stated.

Although he never considered himself to be easily intimidated, at least in his own eyes, he recognized that he wasn't any match for Ziva. She was a trained assassin and during his time at NCIS, he had purposefully kept his distance from her. "I'll just get my coat," Charles replied as he turned to walk towards his bedroom.

"I'll get it for you," Ziva insisted as she pushed back him and quickly returned with his coat.

Charles glared at the beautiful yet deadly woman as she violated his domicile; no one had ever dared to cross the threshold of his home, but she had strolled through his apartment like she owned it. He wondered if her arrogance was natural or if DiNozzo had managed to influence her that much during the few short months that they had worked together. Charles' annoyance with the intrusion of the two agents was steadily growing with every second that he was in their presence.

Grabbing the coat from Ziva, he headed out of his apartment. As soon as McGee and Ziva were back in the hallway, he stopped and took time to lock his door. "You can never be too careful," he explained to the agents.

As the trio made their way down to the parking area, Charles refused to let his curiosity control him. He had no idea why he was being taken to NCIS, but he was confident that it had nothing to do with what he had done to DiNozzo. Charles knew that he had been careful and methodical in his approach and the evidence that he had formulated had convicted Tony; no one could beat him at his own game and that included Abby and Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

**Hope you enjoyed the post! Thanks for your patience and your continued support of this story; I'm still overwhelmed by the reviews and the alerts. I'm off to do a final proof of the next chapter of _Undertow_, so I hope this will hold you over for a day or so. **

**A special thanks to AZGirl! You're awesome! Any remaining mistakes are mine!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

Gibbs wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. Since his arrival in the surgical waiting area, he had thumbed through every outdated magazine, counted the tiles on the ceiling and on the floor at least three times, paced the perimeter of the room several times, and was now on his fourth cup of bad coffee. The team leader had run out of mindless things to do in an effort to keep himself busy; he despised the helpless feeling that was consuming him, but at the moment, there was nothing he could do to alleviate the sensation of uselessness he was being forced to endure.

He blew out a frustrated breath as he finished off the last sip of the lukewarm brew he had been choking down. What was taking so long? He wanted, no, he _needed_ answers and the worry that was gnawing at him was becoming unbearable. Tossing his cup in the trash, he then raked his hands through his hair as he once again began to pace. "Aw, Tony; what's going on with you?" he muttered to himself.

His thoughts drifted back to the discovery he had made earlier; Tony had removed him as next of kin and he was hurt and confused by DiNozzo's actions. What was the younger man trying to prove? It was obvious that Tony was trying to distance himself from everyone, especially him; Gibbs knew that DiNozzo didn't want him or the team to be tainted by his conviction and in Tony's mind, that justified pushing them away. However, Gibbs had refused to be dismissed so easily. He had been determined to show Tony that he was going to stick by him no matter what; perhaps his sheer stubbornness and refusal to acknowledge his former senior agent's pleas to be left alone had forced Tony's hand.

Despite being lost in his private thoughts, Gibbs sensed someone enter the room. Turning around, he was greeted by the exhausted features of a man that he assumed to be one of the doctors who had operated on Tony. "I'm Dr. Neal," the physician tiredly greeted him.

"Gibbs," he replied as he shook the doctor's hand.

"Liz told me that you were here for Mr. DiNozzo," Neal stated. "She said that you were listed next of kin."

"Yeah," the Marine nodded. "How is he?" Gibbs purposefully directed the attention away from his legal status to Tony's condition. If he were honest with himself, he was almost afraid to hear what Dr. Neal had to say, but he was desperate for some answers.

"I wish I had better news," the doctor began. "Mr. DiNozzo was stabbed twice; each wound was purposeful and intended to inflict a lot of damage. One of the knife wounds nicked his lung causing it to collapse; he's on a respirator in order to let the lung heal. The other wound was in his lower abdomen which resulted in a great deal of internal bleeding which we managed to stop; unfortunately, he lost a lot of blood and we're having a hard time keeping him stabilized while we try and replace it."

Gibbs waited patiently for the physician to continue; his gut was telling him that Dr. Neal had barely scratched the surface. Unfortunately, his gut was right.

He listened intently as the doctor continued to run down the ever growing list of Tony's injuries. "His kidneys are severely bruised from the apparent beating that he received; he has several cracked ribs and his right wrist is fractured. The same shoulder has been dislocated and his knee has some obvious damage but we're going to have to wait until the swelling goes down before we can see what we're dealing with. He also has at the very least, a severe concussion; it's evident…that he took several blows to the head."

"Bastards," he mumbled under his breath. It had been a long time since Gibbs had felt so much rage coursing through his veins; not since the deaths of Shannon and Kelly and his subsequent pursuit of their murderer had he experienced such a feeling of deep hatred. He would make sure that those responsible for nearly killing Tony would be held accountable for what they had done; if necessary, he would be more than willing to administer his own brand of justice.

Taking a moment to collect himself, Gibbs blew out a long breath as he tamped down the anger that threatened to consume him. "Anything else?" he quietly asked with a forced calmness.

Dr. Neal nodded. "He's got numerous bruises all over his body but right now, that's the least of our worries; it'll be a few days before we can fully ascertain his condition."

Gibbs didn't want to ask the next question but he had to know. "Were there…any signs of sexual assault?" He couldn't believe that he had allowed those words to escape his lips; the thought of such a heinous act happening to DiNozzo was not something he wanted to think about.

"Not that we could tell on our initial examination," the physician replied. "Like I said, we've spent the last couple of hours trying to save his life. I could ask Dr. Coleman to take a closer look if you think it's necessary."

The team leader clenched his jaw. "He was jumped in a prison courtyard, Doc; what do you think?"

"I'll let you know," Neal promised.

The Marine nodded, temporarily satisfied with the physician's answers. "Can I see him?"

"Not right now. He's going to be moved to recovery and then to a secured floor; you'll have to get clearance to visit him."

"Clearance?"

"Yes, but since you're the next of kin, it shouldn't be a problem. Besides, the next couple of days, we're keeping him under heavy sedation; he won't even know anyone is there."

"That's where you're wrong, Doc." He kept his expression neutral despite the fact that his gut was churning. Gibbs found himself once again silently cursed the fact that Tony had him removed as next of kin. How did DiNozzo expect him to help if he was blocking him at every turn? The Marine truly didn't figure he would have a problem getting in to see Tony, especially once he had his face to face with the Warden; however, it would have simplified things if he was still listed as next of kin.

"Do you have any other questions?" Dr. Neal inquired.

"No. Not right now."

"You should be able to see him in the morning; when you get here, page either myself or Dr. Coleman and we will hopefully have a better idea on how he's doing."

Gibbs extended his hand. "Thanks, Doc."

"You're welcome."

As the doctor left, Gibbs sat down in the nearest chair and cradled his head in his hands. He desperately wanted to see Tony; he needed to make sure that the young man knew he wasn't alone. DiNozzo had done everything in his power to isolate himself from his friends, but whether he realized it or not, Tony needed those friends that he had been pushing away. "You better not give up, DiNozzo," he whispered to himself. "You do and I'll kick your a…"

The ringing of his phone interrupted his thoughts. Pulling it out of his pocket, he glanced at the caller ID to discover that McGee was calling him. He had sent Tim and Ziva to bring in Chip for questioning and he sincerely hoped, for their sakes, that they had been successful in their endeavor. The team leader hit the answer button and barked, "You better have good news for me, McGee!"

"Uh, yeah, Boss," McGee stammered. "We brought Chip in for questioning; did you want us to…"

"Just sit on him until I get there."

"We have to have a reason to keep him, Boss."

"I have my reasons! Now, I'll be there in a few minutes! Until then, you just keep an eye on him and make sure that the cameras in the interrogation room are recording everything until I get there."

"Boss? Do you care to fill us in as to what's going on?"

"Later. Tell Abby to meet me in the observation room with what she's got."

"All right, but…"

Gibbs hung up and abruptly rose from his seat. He may not be able to see Tony right now, but when he did, he was going to be able to tell him that he was going to walk out of the hospital a free man. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Chip Sterling was the key to prove DiNozzo's innocence and he was going to get the truth out of the man, even if he had to resort to some rather forceful tactics.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Charles knew that they were behind that glass; they were watching him, his every movement was under intense scrutiny and he didn't like it. They had yet to tell him why he was here and despite his protests, McGee and Ziva had remained silent only telling him that Agent Gibbs would answer all his questions. Gibbs. He had never liked the man and it was beyond his comprehension why Abby and everyone else seemed to idolize the team leader; the man was rude, gruff, and demanding and if he were honest with himself, Gibbs made him nervous.

However, Charles knew that he couldn't let Gibbs intimidate him. He had to stand his ground; the former scientist was not going to break no matter how hard the Marine pressed him for answers to whatever questions he had. Charles had managed to fool everyone, including the mighty Gibbs, and he was not about to lose everything that he had worked so hard for.

He paced around the table once again and stopped in front of the two-way mirror. "I know you're there," Charles called out. "If you don't tell me why I'm here, I'm going to file a complaint with the Director."

Annoyed by the silence, he knocked on the glass but no one answered him. "I know you can here me! You can't hold me here without reason! I may be a scientist but I know my rights! I'm going to walk out that door if someone doesn't tell me what's going on!"

He was having an increasingly difficult time tamping down his anger; why were these people playing games with him? "Do you think I'm kidding? Do you think that I'm just talking to hear myself talk? You bunch of arrogant fools; you're no better that DiNozzo! I managed to…"

Charles stopped mid sentence and turned away from the window. He silently cursed at his carelessness; the waiting was starting to wear on his already frazzled nerves and Charles knew that if he didn't remain calm and focused, he would end up in a lot of trouble. Walking around to the opposite side of the table, he pulled out the chair and sat down. Sterling knew that he couldn't afford another slip up so he decided that he would simply wait for Gibbs to make the next move.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs' stride was purposeful and determined as he made his way down the corridor towards the observation room. His surly mood had not been helped by the fact that he had been unable to see Tony except as they had wheeled him from recovery to the elevator that would take him to the floor reserved for patients that were a security risk. The team leader had no idea how someone as gravely injured as DiNozzo would be considered a risk but he supposed that the hospital had its own rules to follow.

He had considered informing the hospital staff of some of his rules but he knew it wouldn't do any good. Gibbs realized that right now, the best he thing he could do for Tony was to find a way to clear his name and get him out of the hellhole that he had been condemned to. Gibbs knew that he had to focus on the job that he had to do; DiNozzo's life depended on it.

Opening the door to the observation room, he saw McGee, Ziva, and Abby waiting for him. Other than Abby, Gibbs was aware that Ziva and McGee were in the dark about the latest developments in Tony's case; he knew they deserved an explanation, especially since they had obeyed him without questioning his motives or sanity.

Gibbs took a file from Abby and began to glance through it, simultaneously slipping a vial she had given him in his pocket. "Have you told them anything?"

Abby shook her head. "No. I just got here; I wanted to double check everything before you talked to Chip. The sweat definitely belongs to Chip; I've also got a copy of the video that I showed you and I transcribed everything he said."

"That's good work, Abs." He tucked the file under his arm and then turned his attention back to Tim and Ziva. "Abby discovered some evidence that, if we're lucky, should prove Tony's innocence."

McGee and Ziva began simultaneously bombarding him with questions. He was aware of the fact that they although they hadn't always shared his obsession, both Tim and Ziva had been doing everything in their power to help find a way to prove Tony wasn't a cold blooded murderer. Gibbs held his hand up, demanding silence from the two team members before he continued. "It seems that Chip is responsible for this whole damn mess. We've found evidence that Sterling framed Tony and I think it should be enough to get Tony's conviction overturned," he reiterated.

"Have you told Tony?" Ziva asked. "Is that where you went when you told us to pick up Chip?"

"Not yet."

"Did he refused to see you?" Abby wanted to know.

"He's…" Images of Tony's bruised and battered body flooded his mind. "I went to the prison to tell him but he was being transported to the hospital. He was attacked in the courtyard…" Gibbs didn't trust himself to speak for a few seconds. Taking a moment to compose himself, he cleared his throat and finished providing the other members of his team with what details he knew. "Tony's in bad shape but the doctor's are doing what they can."

"So you've been at the hospital all this time?" Abby asked, a hint of irritation and sadness in her voice.

The team leader knew that Abby was close to Tony and probably felt like she needed to be at the hospital, but she had been right where he needed her to be; Abby was the only one who could prove Tony's innocence and Gibbs had needed her to remain focused on the task of saving Tony's life. "Pretty much," he replied.

"Why didn't you call us, Boss?" McGee inquired.

Gibbs didn't have an answer to Tim's question. He probably should have called someone, but between coming to terms with what had happened and reeling from the discovery that he was no longer listed as Tony's next of kin, the thought had honestly never crossed his mind. "I don't know, McGee," he finally said. "I guess because I knew that you all had a job to do." He recognized that he had provided them with a flimsy excuse but anything else would force to him to confront those emotions that he had purposefully buried.

"I'm going to question Sterling," he muttered. "Fill them in, Abs."

"Be careful, Gibbs," Abby insisted, her tone no longer laced with annoyance. "McGee said he was screaming at them earlier and that he almost started talking about Tony. He's…he's a total whack job."

The team leader smiled at Abby's descriptive metaphors that she had bestowed upon her former assistant. He gave her a peck on the cheek and said, "I will."

Leaving Abby to brief McGee and Ziva, Gibbs left the observation room to discover Director Jenny Shepard waiting for him. Despite their past relationship, Jenny was the last person that he wanted to see. Barely sparing her a glance, he turned to go into the interrogation room; he had better things to do that to listen to her 'I'm the Director' speech she was prone to give him any time she disapproved of what he was doing.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jenny demanded to know. Her sharp tone would make some men cower but Gibbs wasn't one of those men.

"What's it look like?" Gibbs snapped as he turned to face her.

Jenny crossed her arms, her green eyes shooting daggers of fire at him. "Why was Charles Sterling brought in? Is he being charged with something?"

"Not yet."

"What do you mean not yet?" she pressed.

"Just what I said."

"You're going to have to do better than that. Why is Charles Sterling being interrogated?"

Gibbs took a step towards his former lover. She seemingly had no idea what was at stake but he was about to tell her; he wouldn't allow anyone, including the Director of NCIS, to stand between him and securing Tony's freedom. "He's being interrogated because there's new evidence that indicates that your wonder boy framed DiNozzo."

"Why are you still investigating this case? DiNozzo was tried and convicted; you have to let it go!"

Their faces were mere centimeters from each other as the Marine clenched his fist, resisting the urge to punch a hole in the wall. "Tony's innocent and I'm going to prove it!"

"Gibbs, I know you're desperate, but I think you're grasping at straws."

"I really don't care what you think," he shot back. "Now, you can either go in the observation room and watch or go back to your office and resume your practicing your skills at ass kissing on the hill, but I'm going in there and I'm not coming out until I have what I want."

Not wanting to hear anything else she had to say, Gibbs entered the interrogation room to find Chip still sitting in the chair, his hands folded on the table. He was still struggling against the rage coursing through him; Gibbs wanted nothing more than to throw Sterling up against the wall and beat him to a pulp until he got a confession, but unfortunately, he knew that particular course of action wouldn't hold up in court.

"Agent Gibbs," the scientist pleasantly greeted.

Without uttering a word, Gibbs pulled out the chair opposite of Chip and sat down as he opened the file he had carried in. His silence seemed to unnerve Sterling and that was exactly what he wanted to do. Gibbs knew that Chip was fully aware of the reason why he had been brought in and he wasn't buying the innocent act that the he seemed intent on portraying. He pulled some pictures out of the folder and placed them face down before he closed the file and pushed it to the side; leaning forward slightly, he met Chip's confused gaze. The man was quite the actor but Gibbs was about to expose the man behind the mask.

"Chip," he finally replied, knowing full well of the other man's aversion to the moniker.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't call me that," Chip said.

"I really don't care what you would appreciate, _Chip_."

Chip nervously cleared his throat. "I uh…do you want to tell me why I'm here, Agent Gibbs?"

"I've got some questions to ask you."

"About what?"

Gibbs reached in his pocket and pulled out the vial and set it down in front of Chip. "Do you know what that is?" he asked.

Chip picked up the small bottle and studied it. "It looks like a carpet fiber."

"Very good."

"Is it evidence for a case?"

The team leader had to admit that Chip had a lot of nerve to act so naïve. "You could say that," he sighed. "I'm surprised that you don't remember it, Chip. It's the carpet fiber from Tony's car."

"Tony DiNozzo?"

Gibbs clenched his jaw, biting back the sharp retort that wanted to fly out of his mouth. "Don't play dumb with me, Chip," he warned. "Abby discovered sweat on the fiber, so she ran a DNA test and I'll give you one guess as to who's DNA came back."

"I assume it was Tony's," Chip answered, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

Of course Sterling would want to blame someone else; however, Gibbs wasn't about to let him off the hook because there wasn't a doubt in his mind that Chip was responsible for framing Tony. "It's not Tony's. It belongs to you."

"Me? I don't understand?"

"What's not to understand, _Chip_? You're DNA is on the carpet fiber. Care to explain how it got there?"

Gibbs had managed to render Chip speechless. The unmistakable look of guilt on his face was quickly replaced by a mask of disbelief; the team leader couldn't help but think that it wouldn't take much to push Sterling over the edge. Anger and frustration danced in Chip's eyes and the Marine could sense the young man was trying to contain his own wrath and was failing miserably. Chip was obviously searching for a plausible explanation as to why his sweat was on the carpet fiber, but Gibbs already knew the reason; the team leader just had to be patient and wait for Sterling to let down his guard.

**Whew! Thank you all for your patience and I hope the post has been worth the wait. I'm so blessed to have such awesome readers and I sincerely appreciate every review and alert I get for the story. I usually try and answer reviews before I post but I've got to go to a meeting and I don't have time, so I figured you would rather have a chapter than a reply right now; but don't worry, I will answer them for "A Pound of Flesh" later tonight. **


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

"Agent Gibbs, I must have been careless with the sample," Chip said. "That's the only logical explanation that I can come up with as to why my DNA is on that carpet sample."

"You're a scientist, Chip; careless shouldn't be in your vocabulary," Gibbs pointed out.

Gibbs had been patiently waiting for Chip to come up with some kind of explanation and now that he was on the defensive, the team leader knew it was only a matter of time before he managed to break the man sitting across from him. His gaze was fixed on Sterling, who was growing seemingly more uncomfortable with every passing second. A fine sheen of sweat danced upon Chip's forehead as he looked down and to the left, a sure sign of someone who was lying and being evasive; Gibbs was determined to find out exactly what Chip was hiding.

"I'm only human, Agent Gibbs," Chip countered. "We all make mistakes. I'm sure that _you've _made a mistake or two in your life."

The Marine glared at Chip, who quickly began trying to retract his last sentence. "I mean…no one is perfect…not even…well…you know what I mean."

"No, I don't," the agent replied as he turned over the pictures that had been lying face down on the table. "These are still shots of you that were pulled from the security cameras in the lab the other night; you're talking to a picture of DiNozzo; I want to know why."

"What do you mean?"

Gibbs tightly clenched his jaw; he despised people who feigned ignorance and it took a great deal of restraint to not reach across and throttle the man who had clearly gone to great lengths to frame his senior field agent. Don't make me repeat myself, Chip," he warned.

"I was…uh…just looking at the pictures. Abby has them everywhere," Sterling pointed out.

Abby did indeed have photographs of Tony all over the lab; she had once told him that she felt like DiNozzo was with her, cheering her every step of the way as she worked relentlessly to prove his innocence. There had been a time or two Gibbs had caught Abby talking to the pictures, but unlike Chip's taunting words, her words had been full of sincerity as she renewed her promise to find the evidence that would secure his freedom.

"Just answer my question," he pressed. It was evident that Chip had no idea how close was to meeting the end of Gibbs' fist.

Chip blew out a long, frustrated breath. The lead agent knew that Sterling was stalling in an effort to create a lie that he would believe; however, Gibbs knew the truth and he wouldn't accept anything less.

"Fine," Chip sighed. "I was…saying…goodbye."

"Goodbye?"

Sterling nodded. "Yeah, I was saying goodbye. I had come back to collect my belongings because I was…I mean, I'm turning in my resignation. I have another job."

"Another job? Where at?"

"Uh…why does that matter?" Chip asked.

"I guess it doesn't." Gibbs leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Why don't you tell me the reason that you felt the need to say goodbye to DiNozzo's photograph? I kind of got the feeling that you never cared for Tony."

"Why would you say that?"

"Am I wrong?" the team leader challenged.

Chip refused to look at him. Gibbs could tell that he was getting even closer to extracting the truth from Sterling. He briefly wondered if his team members in the observation room were becoming as impatient as he was while he waited for the opportune time to take total control of the situation and backed Chip against the wall.

"Am I wrong?" he forcibly repeated, venom dripping from his every word.

Once again, his question was met with silence. "Look at me," Gibbs demanded. When Chip didn't comply, he rose from his seat and slammed his hand on the table. "I said look at me!" he roared.

Chip finally met his steely gaze. Gibbs leaned across the table, his voice tight and controlled. "Now, I want an answer to my question. Am I wrong in the fact you don't like DiNozzo?"

"Actually, I hate him," Chip admitted.

"Hate's a strong word."

"But an applicable one. I've put up with guys like him my whole life," Sterling began to explain.

"Meaning what?"

"He's just like all those jocks back in school that got their kicks by tormenting guys like me because we're smarter; DiNozzo was always looking down on me and I didn't like it! He was always spouting off some kind of nonsense and…"

"And what?"

"Nothing," Chip replied. "I've said too much. Maybe you should ask Agent McGee what I'm talking about; I'm sure he's been subjected to his fair share of bullying."

Gibbs knew that Chip was trying to deflect the blame from himself, but he was not so easily swayed. It was time to play his trump card; he was tired of playing games. If Sterling was the one who managed to frame Tony, then that meant the lab rat had been manipulating him and his team for a long time and it was time to put an end to the charade. He glanced over his shoulder towards the two-way mirror and said, "Abs, cue the video."

He walked over to the wall and turned on the monitor. Within a few seconds, an image of Chip appeared and he was talking to the wall that contained the collage of Tony's pictures. "This was taken the other night; this kind of proves the fact that you don't like DiNozzo. I think hate is the word you used," Gibbs testily recalled.

"All you've proven is that I was talking to a bunch of stupid pictures. You don't have any idea what I said and last I looked ranting at a photograph wasn't a crime."

A near smile danced upon his lips; he was so looking forward to knocking Chip off the pedestal that he had placed himself upon. Gibbs sat back down in his chair, opened the file, and began to read Abby's transcript.

"Well, former Special Agent DiNozzo," Gibbs began. "I guess this is so long; I wish I could say goodbye in person, but I can't. I'm leaving the country; something you can't do because you're in prison. I wonder if they'll ever figure it out. I wonder if they'll figure out that they've been beaten at their own game. I told you that one day I would get even with you and I did."

He looked up from the file and noticed Chip's ashen expression. Gibbs noticed that Sterling was sweating even more and was beginning to wring his hands; the team leader found out that he was immensely enjoying the younger man's discomfort. Turning his attention back to the paper in his hand, he continued to read.

"I still can't believe that you didn't remember me; I thought about you every day for a lot of years. One of these days, right before you draw your last breath, I'll make sure you know who put you in prison. Guess I better go, but don't worry; take care and keep thinking positive. Maybe I'll send you a postcard."

"That's…very…clever, Agent Gibbs," Chip stammered. "But there's no way that you can know what I said. I don't…even _remember _what I said."

"Abby reads lips."

Chip pushed back from the table and began to pace back and forth, his movements frantic and exaggerated. "She just made that up! You can't prove anything! She's biased! Abby will say anything to help that loser!"

"She had it verified with another specialist," Gibbs informed him. "Abby's not going to be happy that you're questioning her integrity; actually, if she were in the room now, she'd probably slug ya. Now, sit down." His menacing tone left no room for debate.

Sterling acquiesced and fell into the chair. "This is insane," Chip mumbled.

"Did you say something?" Gibbs asked, purposefully pushing Chip closer to the edge.

"I said that this is insane," the scientist exclaimed. "You all are looking for anyone to blame! You can't believe that your agent could be a murderer!"

"You just admitted to being the one that put him in prison!" the team leader barked. "Now, you better tell me how and why!"

"I'm not telling you anything! I want a lawyer."

The fact that Sterling was trying to lawyer up only infuriated Gibbs. The Marine cleared the table of the photographs and the file in one fell swoop, the papers randomly scattering on the floor. He stood up and knocked his chair backwards; in two steps, he was on the other side of the table, jerking Chip to his feet. He pinned Sterling against the wall, his forearm firmly planted against his chest, rage fueling his actions and emotions. Gibbs knew he was on the verge of losing control, but he didn't care. The door opened to reveal McGee nervously considering entering the room; the younger agent's expression was one of confusion and disbelief.

"Not now, McGee!" he barked.

"Boss, I…uh…the Director…"

"I don't care, McGee! Leave now! That's an order!"

He rarely had to pull rank, but he was prepared to do whatever was necessary to make Chip confess to framing DiNozzo. Tony had already spent far too long in prison and today had proven that his time had not been easy; at this moment, he was fighting for his life and Gibbs was determined to give him something to hold onto.

The door closed and once again, his undivided attention was bestowed upon Chip. "Now, why did you set DiNozzo up?"

Chip began to laugh; it was a sound that grated on Gibbs' last nerve. "What are you laughing at?"

"It was so easy! You have no idea how much pleasure I received from watching you all run around like little chickens with their heads cut off," he teased. "Tony played right into my hands; well, not literally, but I'm sure you know what I mean."

Gibbs tightened his hold. "Start talking! I want to know everything!"

"And I want a lawyer!"

"You'll get one when I say you can have one!"

He heard the door open once again. Gibbs took a step back as Jenny entered the room; he clenched and unclenched his fist as he fought to tamp down the anger that was consuming him. Ignoring the Director's presence, he yelled for the other members of his team. "McGee! Ziva! Arrest his ass!"

"On it, Boss!" McGee said.

"I want a lawyer!" Chip repeated.

As McGee began to read Sterling his rights, the scientist began to scream. "You can't do this to me! There's no way you…imbeciles figured it out!"

"Shut up!" Gibbs and the Director simultaneously ordered.

The team leader's gaze never strayed from Chip as he was escorted out of the room. He grinned when he heard Abby in the corridor, giving her former assistant a piece of her mind. Gibbs wouldn't be surprised if she gave him a well deserved punch to the face; he found himself silently willing for Abby to do just that. He heard the signs of a brief scuffle and then Chip proclaim that his nose was bleeding; Gibbs made a mental note to buy Abby an extra Caf-Pow as a reward.

"Agent Gibbs," Jenny called out, getting his attention.

He turned to face the woman who used to be so much more to him than just his boss. Gibbs saw a myriad of emotions in her green orbs; disbelief, confusion, anger, and regret were etched in her lovely features. Jenny was always worried about appearances, and this entire ordeal with DiNozzo had forced her to separate herself from Tony and the team. She had played it safe, along with the upper brass and had been willing to sacrifice his senior agent for the good of NCIS. He wondered if she was now disappointed in herself and her actions.

"Yes, _Director_?" he finally replied, figuring that she was going to berate him for the physical force that he had used against Sterling.

"How…"

Gibbs had rarely seen Jenny at a loss for words; he guessed that there really was a first time for everything. "How what?"

She shook her head. "I'll expect to be kept in the loop as to how the case is progressing and if there's anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Why the change of heart?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"I guess maybe a little guilt? I'm the one who hired Charles; I should have…done more to ensure that…"

"None of that helps Tony now." He wasn't in the mood to listen to Jenny's excuses; there wasn't a doubt in his mind that his quest to secure Tony's freedom would have been easier with her support.

"I know. I'll call SecNav and inform him of these latest developments."

"I don't care who you call, Jen; just stay out of the way," he warned.

"Gibbs, I'm not the enemy. Put yourself in my shoes," she suggested. "What would you have done?"

"I wouldn't have left a man behind."

He started out the door and as an afterthought, he glanced back over his shoulder at the Director. "You want to do something useful? I'm headed back to the hospital; pull some strings so I can get in and see Tony."

Gibbs knew that she was aware of the fact that DiNozzo was in the hospital. Jenny always knew a lot more than she ever let on; her tendency to keep secrets had nearly cost him his life on more than one occasion. The team leader had told her several times exactly what she could do with her need to know rule.

"But you're next of kin, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Well it is," he growled. "I need to see him; make it happen."

"I'll see what I can do," she promised. "One other thing, Jethro."

"What?"

"Nice work. I'm glad you didn't give up on Tony."

He wasn't impressed by her unnecessary praise; she needed to save her words of encouragement when she had to apologize to DiNozzo for throwing him to the wolves.

"Anything else, Director?" Gibbs coolly asked.

"I just wanted to let you know that something happened to the recording device for a few seconds; it seemed like while Chip was trying to escape, it cut off for a second, but it started up again after you apprehended him."

Gibbs couldn't help but smile; sometimes, a hint of the old Jenny would shine through the no nonsense persona she had created for herself, reminding him of better times. "Thanks for letting me know."

The team leader nodded his thanks as he left the interrogation room. Gibbs was aware that he still had a lot of work to do before Tony was set free. Although he was thoroughly exhausted, he couldn't rest; there would be time to rest when DiNozzo's name was cleared and the young man was back where he belonged. He pulled out his phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Fornell," Gibbs greeted before his counterpart could utter a greeting. "I need to meet with you and Slacks." The Marine couldn't help but refer to the moniker that Tony had bestowed upon Agent Sacks; for some reason, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

"About what?"

"Tony."

"Gibbs, you've got to let this go," Tobias insisted. "It's been…"

"I've got new evidence and I've got the man responsible."

"What?"

"Getting hard of hearing, Tobias?" Gibbs inquired.

"No, I just…who?" the FBI agent wanted to know.

"Chip Sterling."

"The lab rat?" Fornell asked, disbelief evident in his voice. "We'll be right over."

"Give me a couple of hours; I've got something I need to do first."

"All right. Two hours it is."

Gibbs hung up and broke into a jog as he hit the parking area, a renewed energy coursing through his body, giving him the strength he needed to face the next few hours. He sincerely hoped that by the time he got to the hospital, he would be able to visit DiNozzo; if Jenny did as he had asked, he should be able to see Tony without any problem. Tony needed to know that he was going to soon taste the goodness that came from being a free man and he needed to be able to tell the young man that everything was going to work out. This this time, it wouldn't be a lie.

**Whew! I hope you enjoy the post. I'm off to Atlanta but it's a long ride, so I'll be writing. Thanks AZGirl for your help!**


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

Gibbs pulled up in the parking lot of the hospital, put his car in park and turned off the ignition; blowing out a pent up breath, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. The discovery that Chip had framed Tony had brought both relief and self-doubt. Relief came in the fact that he and the team could finally prove DiNozzo's innocence. However, self-doubt was also rearing its ugly head, serving as a constant reminder that Sterling had been able to fool them all, condemning Tony to the hell that he had been residing in for nearly a year. He hoped that it didn't take as long to secure his former agent's freedom; Tony deserved to be able to move forward with his life, putting the nightmare of the past behind him.

Why hadn't he been able to figure out Chip's ruse sooner? Gibbs couldn't bear to think of the pain that Tony would have been spared if he had been on top of his game. He knew that he couldn't afford to wallow in guilt and self-pity; DiNozzo was going to need him and Gibbs wasn't going to fail him again. The Marine wasn't foolish enough to believe that Tony would simply just reclaim his former life. The younger man would more than likely face a lot of obstacles; he just hoped that Tony would accept his help.

He knew that there wasn't any use worrying about the future right now; Gibbs had to concentrate on the present reality and what it was going to take to prove Tony's innocence. The agent got out of his car and jogged across the parking lot, towards the hospital entrance. Bypassing the receptionist's desk, he took the stairs up to the secured ward, hoping that Jenny had actually done as he had asked and gained him clearance to see Tony. Gibbs wasn't sure he could be held responsible for his actions if he wasn't allowed to see DiNozzo; even sedated, his friend deserved to know the truth and that he would soon be a free man.

Opening the door, he stepped out onto the floor and strode over to the nurse's station. "Which room is Anthony DiNozzo in?" he asked.

"Do you…"

"Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs." He hoped that his name would be enough to grant him access.

Gibbs watched as the nurse glanced down at her clipboard. "You're cleared to go in, Agent Gibbs," she finally announced. "Mr. DiNozzo is in 704. He's been sedated because of the ventilator, so I doubt that he'll even know you're there."

"He'll know."

The nurse pressed the button that would unlock the doors so Gibbs could go through them. He hoped that he could get Tony moved to a regular floor before the doctor permitted him to fully awaken. Even though the team leader knew it would take some time before Tony's release would be secured, at least the younger man would get a small taste of freedom and wouldn't wake up in a prison-like setting. The senior agent didn't want DiNozzo to ever see the inside of another prison if he could help it.

The team leader visibly bristled at the sight of the guard standing outside of Tony's room. He sincerely hoped that the officer didn't intend on stopping him from seeing DiNozzo. "Gibbs," he said, showing the other man his ID.

"I was told to expect you," the guard replied. "You can go on in."

The agent started to step around the officer when the uniformed man grabbed his arm. "You'll have to check your weapon, sir."

Gibbs glanced down at the guard's hand and then met the other man's semi-stoic gaze. "I'm a Marine," he informed the officer.

"Yes sir, but…"

"Do you know what that means?"

"Well, uh…"

Gibbs took a step closer to the officer, his menacing tone daring the guard to offer up the slightest protest. "It means that the only way you'll get my gun is to pry it from my cold, dead hand."

The agent didn't bother to even wait for a response as he entered Tony's room. Knowing that the guard wouldn't challenge him, he stood just inside the doorway and stared at the too still form of his friend lying on the bed. The quietness of the room was disturbed only by the sound of the ventilator that was ushering precious air into Tony's lungs and the constant beep of the monitor keeping track of every beat of his heart. DiNozzo's knee was propped up on pillows, as was his wrist; another testament to the beating that he had received.

Gibbs slowly made his way over to Tony's bedside. His hand hovered over DiNozzo's head a few seconds before brushing a stray lock off the younger man's forehead. The stubble on Tony's face made him look older but failed to hide the damage that had been inflicted by the cruelty of others. Despite the fact that the nurses had cleaned him up, there was no covering up the bruises that adorned his face and upper body. He was well aware that this wasn't the first fight that DiNozzo had been in, but it had been the one that had left him fighting for his life.

As he pulled up a chair to sit down, a glint of something shiny caught his attention. Pulling back the sheet, he saw that Tony's good wrist was handcuffed to the railing. Rage coursed through him at the reminder that DiNozzo was technically still a prisoner. Gibbs didn't see the need for the handcuffs; it was obvious that Tony wasn't going anywhere.

Walking back over to the door, he got the attention of the guard. "Take the cuffs off," he insisted.

"I can't, sir," the officer nervously replied. "It's S.O.P."

"He's not going anywhere."

"I still can't remove them, sir. I'm simply following orders."

"Then give me the keys and I will," Gibbs coolly stated.

"I can't do that either; not without permission from the Warden."

"Then you better call him and get permission. You can even mention my name if you want; it might make Warden Phillips a little more agreeable."

"I'll see what I can do, Agent Gibbs," the guard promised.

"You do that," he growled. "Meanwhile, I'll take care of the cuffs myself."

Gibbs walked back to Tony's bedside and pulled out his pocketknife and began to manipulate the lock. "Some guard," he mumbled to himself. Within a few seconds, he had released the handcuffs and disgustedly slung them in the nightstand drawer. "There you go, Tony."

He sat down beside his former agent, wanting to say something but not knowing what to say. Gibbs wanted to say how sorry he was that Tony had been convicted and spent time in prison; he wanted to say he was sorry for taking so long for proving his innocence and he wanted to say he was sorry for letting his friend, no, for letting his son; down. The team leader had been constantly battling his own guilt that had threatened to consume him; at times, the knowledge that he had failed was too much to bear, but now, he had a chance to prove to Tony that he hadn't given up on him.

"I don't know where to start, DiNozzo," he wearily sighed. "Can you even hear me?" Gibbs wasn't one to repeat himself but he had already decided that he would tell Tony as many times as necessary that he was a free man and didn't have to spend the rest of his life in prison.

"We caught the bastard, Tony," Gibbs continued. "We arrested Chip Sterling a few hours ago and I swear to you that he's going away for a long time. I can't believe that he almost got away with it; I'm not sure what I missed, but I guess it doesn't matter now.

"I'm going to call your lawyer," he declared. "I know that you let her go because…because…" Gibbs swallowed hard. Tony had let his attorney go because he had no money to pay her to keep appealing his case; he wasn't going to let that be an obstacle to DiNozzo's freedom. "Don't worry about it; I'll take care of it. You're going to be a free man, Tony. Everyone is going to know that you're innocent; I'll make sure of that."

"Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs turned at the sound of the familiar voice. Dr. Neal was standing in the doorway, along side another physician whom he assumed to be Dr. Coleman. The agent stood up and made his way over to the two men. "Dr. Neal," he quietly greeted.

"Gibbs, this is Dr. Coleman; he's the other doctor who was working on Mr. DiNozzo."

The team leader shook Coleman's hand. "Doctor."

"Agent Gibbs," Coleman replied. "Dr. Neal told me that you were Mr. DiNozzo's next of kin."

Every time he thought of Tony removing him as his next of kin, it was like a knife in the gut. He glanced back over his shoulder at DiNozzo's sleeping form, taking a few seconds to center his thoughts and tamp down the ache that was ever present. "So, how's he doing?" Gibbs finally asked.

"He's holding his own," Dr. Coleman informed him. "I'm sure Dr. Neal told you that we were keeping him sedated while he was on the ventilator; I hope that we can wean him off of it in a day or so. When he's a little stronger, we'll take another look at his knee; it's a mess but hopefully having to wait won't make things worse."

Gibbs nodded in agreement. He hated the thought of Tony having a permanent reminder of his time in prison; it was difficult enough knowing that DiNozzo would be living with the mental scars of his imprisonment for the rest of his life.

"What about…what about…" Gibbs wasn't sure he was ready for the answer to the question that had been gnawing at his mind ever since Tony had been brought to the hospital. It had been sheer anguish waiting for Dr. Coleman's report. "Was there any sign of sexual assault?"

"He has some bruising around the groin but I believe that the injuries sustained are a result of being repeated kicked or hit; there were no signs of sexual assault."

Gibbs breathed out the long breath that he had inadvertently been holding. Although there weren't any signs of sexual assualt, he wasn't foolish enough to believe that just because there hadn't been any evidence this time, that DiNozzo had escaped this particular horror of prison life without any scars. He doubted that Tony would ever admit to such an atrocity occurring and Gibbs wasn't sure he was ready to fully accept the reality of such a demeaning violation happening to someone he cared about.

"At least that's something," he mumbled.

"If you want to come back tomorrow, we'll see how's he doing and maybe let him wake up a little," Dr. Neal said.

"I'll be back tonight."

He expected the two doctors to protest, but he was prepared to counter their argument. Gibbs was going to make sure that Tony knew that he wasn't alone. DiNozzo had spent much of the last year in solitary confinement or self-imposed solitude; it was past time that his friend remembered that he still had people who cared about him and wanted to help alleviate the burden that he insisted on carrying by himself.

"Agent Gibbs," Dr. Coleman began to reason. "There's nothing you can do; Mr. DiNozzo will be sedated at least for tonight and the better part of tomorrow."

"What's your point?"

"This is a secure ward and…"

"I assure you I have all the clearance I need. If you don't believe me, then you can see the nurse at the receptionist desk." The Marine found himself grateful that Jenny had managed to use her influence for something else than her personal gain. "I'll be back tonight," Gibbs forcibly reiterated.

"It's against policy…"

"I don't care about your policy; I'm not much on following anyone else's rules." He could almost hear Tony snicker and mumble something supposedly inaudible about Gibbs' personal rules. DiNozzo knew all his rules by heart and the team leader was privately impressed that he warranted such an act of loyalty as to memorize what Gibbs considered to be his own personal rules for staying alive.

Glancing over his shoulder, he was once again taken back Tony's ghastly appearance. Anger coursed through him as he once again affirmed his promise to find everyone responsible for hurting his former agent; he was going make sure that the perpetrators knew who wielded the ax. "Take care of him," he rasped, not trusting his voice to say anything else.

He hastily made his way out towards the parking lot and to his car. Gibbs sat for a moment and gathered his thoughts. The team leader had a lot to do, the first thing being that he needed to meet with Fornell and Sacks. He was truly looking forward to seeing the two FBI agents' faces when he told them the details about Sterling and how he had framed Tony. Everything that had happened had almost seemed surreal, but thankfully, Tony's personal hell was coming to and end and freedom's dream was within his grasp.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So, you really think this Sterling is our guy?" FBI Agent Sacks inquired.

Fornell took a sip of coffee as he stared out the window of the conference room, quietly watching the every day comings and goings of those who worked in the Navy Yard. He had been waiting on Gibbs for over half an hour. It was unusual for his NCIS counterpart to be late but Fornell would wait for as long as necessary; he owed to Gibbs and to DiNozzo.

"If Jethro says he is, then he probably is," Fornell finally answered.

"But you're not convinced?"

"I didn't say that. Gibbs says Sterling's responsible, then I'm going to go with it. Jethro wouldn't have called us unless he was sure," Tobias pointed out.

"I hope that he's _very_ sure. I'd like to see DiNozzo get a second chance."

"I kind of had the feeling that you didn't care for DiNozzo."

The younger agent shrugged. "I don't; I just don't think he murdered anyone. He's irritating as hell but he's not a cold blooded killer."

"Careful there, Sacks; you're beginning to sound human," the senior agent teased.

"Duly noted."

Fornell tiredly grinned as his gaze once again locked on the constant motion outside the window, his own regrets haunting him as his thoughts drifted back to that fateful day when Anthony DiNozzo's life had been destroyed. Tobias had been carrying around a load of guilt since he had been forced to arrest DiNozzo nearly a year ago. Despite the fact that he usually gave the former agent a difficult time, he had respected Tony's abilities as an agent. DiNozzo had been a hell of an investigator and even though his methods at times, had been unorthodox, the agent had always managed to get the job done and in the end, that was all that had mattered. Unfortunately, the system that Tony had always relied on to ensure that justice was adhered to, had failed him miserably; now the former NCIS agent was labeled as a criminal and was serving out a lifetime sentence for murder.

He hoped that one day he would once again get a chance to apologize to Tony for his part in this fiasco. Fornell had tried several times already but DiNozzo had continually reassured him that there were no hard feelings; in fact, the younger man had blamed himself, stating that he deserved everything that happened to him. Tobias could recall that particular conversation as if it were yesterday.

_***flashback***_

_Fornell stood outside the temporary holding cell that Tony had been placed in during the initial investigation; he had promised Gibbs that he would keep an eye out for his boy and he intended to keep his word. DiNozzo was pacing the length of the small cell, something that, according to the guard, he had been doing ever since his arrival. Fornell could tell that the NCIS agent hadn't slept or eaten since this nightmare began._

"_How ya doin', DiNozzo?" Fornell asked, purposely avoiding his usual over pronunciation of the agent's name. He usually did it to simply annoy the agent, but at the moment, Tobias felt that DiNozzo had enough on his plate without the added aggravation._

"_Well, the bed's a little lumpy and the bathroom facilities need updating," Tony nervously replied. "But the view is great; I have a really good view of the port-a-johns at the construction site across the road. The manager of this place could charge extra for that luxury."_

"_Good to see you haven't lost your smart ass sense of humor."_

"_It's looking like it's the only thing I've got left, so I better hold on to it as long as I can." _

_He had to admire the younger man's tenacity. Anthony DiNozzo was holding on to that unrelenting faith he had placed in Gibbs to figure out who had framed him; unfortunately, as the days waned, so did Tony's chances of being cleared of the heinous crime he had been accused of. Fornell despised the part that he was playing in this drama; he knew DiNozzo was innocent but proving it was becoming increasingly difficult._

_Tobias nodded towards the pizza box still lying on his cot. "I see Gibbs has been here."_

"_Yeah," Tony sighed. "I tried to eat a piece but it just came back up."_

_DiNozzo had just admitted to him that he had been sick; Tony's mask was slipping and Fornell wasn't sure what he would do if it fell away completely. Gibbs had often told him that there were many layers to Tony's persona and that very few people got to see the real Tony DiNozzo; his friend had also told him that if he ever did get a peek behind the walls that the dark-haired agent had erected, that he could consider himself privileged. _

_As he studied DiNozzo, he saw a man who was unsure of his future; the joking bravado that he engaged in was simply a ruse, hiding the fact that he was truly scared of what was to come. Clearing his throat, Fornell quietly asked, "Can I get you something else?"_

_Tony shook his head. "Not unless you want to give me the keys to the door so I can get out of here."_

"_Sorry, Tony. I can't do that."_

_The NCIS agent met his gaze. "I know. Just wishful thinking on my part."_

"_Look DiNozzo, we're doing our best to prove your innocence."_

"_I know," Tony conceded. "I don't know about Agent Slacks though; he's…"_

"_He's thorough," Fornell finished. "Slacks, I mean Sacks is a good agent; a bit high strung, but a good agent."_

"_I'm sure he is."_

"_Maybe one day, you'll get to work with him on a case and…"_

"_I don't think so," Tony blurted out. _

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I know things aren't looking good. I've been trying to come to terms with the fact that more and more it looks like I'm going to jail for a long time; I…"_

_He watched with interest as Tony sat down on the edge of his cot. "I guess I've also been trying to convince myself that I deserve whatever happens."_

"_Why do you say that?"_

_Tony raked his hands through his hair. "I don't think I'm supposed to be happy because every time I think I am, the rug gets pulled out from under me. I can pinpoint events all the way back to…" Tony blew out a long breath. "Sorry, I know you were trying to cheer me up."_

_Tony's revelation had left Fornell feeling awkward and unsure of what to say. Clearing his throat, he asked the only thing that he could think of, "Have you told Gibbs any of this?"_

"_Are you kidding? I already have a headache; I don't need a concussion on top of it." _

_Fornell smiled. It seemed that Tony was always the recipient of Gibbs' infamous head slaps. "Good point. Listen Tony, we're going to figure this out. You'll be out of here before you know it."_

"_I hope so, Fornell. I hope so."_

_***end flashback***_

"Fornell?"

Pulling himself out of his reverie, he turned back around to face Sacks, who had apparently called out to him more than once. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

As he uttered his last words, the door opened and in walked Gibbs. Jethro's timing was once again impeccable. "That can be dangerous, Tobias," his friend quipped as he handed Fornell a file.

It had been a long time since he had seen Gibbs actually smile. Fornell found his own hope growing as he opened the file that the team leader had just given him. He skimmed its contents and then pulled out a chair and sat down. "I don't believe it," he muttered. "Sterling's a…"

"A murderer," Gibbs supplied. "It's time to nail his ass to the wall."

Fornell listened intently as Gibbs started reviewing the evidence and how Abby had put together the pieces of the puzzle. It was truly unbelievable how well thought out the elaborate scheme had been, and the fact that Charles Sterling had managed to so expertly fool them all was incomprehensible. The scientist's personal vendetta against DiNozzo had cost Tony more than a year of life. It had cost him his home, his career, his reputation, and many of his so called friends; maybe Sterling had achieved his goal after all. Even with the evidence that Gibbs had so carefully collected, it was going to be an uphill battle for DiNozzo to regain anything from his former life. He wondered if Jethro had any idea of the war that he was still going to have to fight; Fornell hoped that his friend was truly prepared to fight for Tony's soul.

**Once again, I apologize for the delay. These end of school events, concerts, awards programs, etc. are wearing me out! 5 more days of school! Anyway, thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you all for being such loyal readers.**

**Thanks to AZGirl for the beta; any remaining mistakes are mine. Again, thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. **


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

Gibbs had just finished briefing Fornell and Sacks on the new evidence that would exonerate Tony. The two FBI agents had been astounded at how Sterling had managed to manipulate not only the evidence, but everyone around him as well. Gibbs inwardly cringed at that realization; how much pain would Tony have been spared if he had recognized the fact that Chip was playing games with them? He knew that he didn't need to carry around the heavy load of guilt that had been weighing on him heavily for over a year, but it was difficult to relinquish the burden after all this time. DiNozzo had lost a year of his life and Gibbs knew that he would spend the rest of _his_ life trying to make it up to his friend.

He had released Sterling into FBI custody, promising Fornell that he would provide him with what evidence they had gathered. Of course, Gibbs wasn't exactly prepared to completely turn the case over to the FBI; he was going to make damn sure that no stone was left unturned. Glancing at his watch, he calculated that he had been away from the hospital for nearly four hours. He needed to get back to DiNozzo, but he wanted to check in with his team and make sure that all their bases were covered.

Striding into the bullpen, he walked by the desk that had remained empty for over a year. There had been a few agents who had sought the coveted position on his team; however, it was obvious that no one could fill DiNozzo's shoes. Gibbs had finally convinced Jenny to quit pestering him about replacing Tony, citing that he still had McGee and Ziva and the three of them would be fine until his senior field agent returned.

He couldn't help but shudder at the thought of how difficult it was going to be for Tony to return to the life that he had known. Gibbs had only briefly considered how things were going to be once DiNozzo was out of prison. He couldn't allow himself to dwell too much on the future at the moment; his first priority was clearing Tony's name. However, the truth remained that there would always be a stigma attached to the younger man and Tony was going to have an uphill battle if he wanted to prove himself again. It wasn't fair. As far as Gibbs was concerned, DiNozzo didn't have a damn thing to prove; unfortunately, society wasn't going to see things the way he did.

"What've you got?" he asked as he made his way to his desk, pushing his earlier thoughts to the back of his mind.

"We've made copies of everything, Boss," McGee replied. "We were just getting ready to go out to the prison to get statements and…"

"I'll get the Warden's statement," Gibbs stated. "He and I are going to have a long talk."

"All right, Boss."

He heard the uncertainty in McGee's voice, but to the younger man's credit, he didn't dispute Gibbs' orders. The team leader had to admit that Tim was turning into a fine agent, but he still had a lot to learn. "I'm going back by the hospital and then I'll join you."

"How's Tony doing?" Ziva wanted to know.

Not wanting to go into details, Gibbs replied, "He's…holding his own."

"Will we be able to see him?"

"Soon," came the solemn answer.

Gibbs stood up and headed towards the elevator before McGee or Ziva could ask any more questions. Truthfully, he wasn't sure when Tony would be up to seeing them; the Marine wasn't sure that DiNozzo would even want to see him, but he was determined to talk to the injured man. Tony had definitely changed due to his time in prison; the team leader just hoped that all of the former agent's spirit hadn't been completely crushed by the harsh realities that he had been forced to face for the last year.

He silently admonished himself for once again losing sight of what he needed to do. Gibbs had to concentrate on the present; the team leader couldn't afford to get distracted by thoughts of regret as he fought to guarantee Tony's freedom. He knew that he would probably never know the struggles that Tony had faced on a daily basis and truthfully, he wasn't sure that he wanted to know. However, whenever DiNozzo wanted to talk, Gibbs vowed to make sure that he was around to listen.

The Marine barely remembered getting in his car and pulling out of the Navy Yard, yet somehow, he was now on his way back to the hospital. He so desperately wanted to talk to Tony, but he had a feeling that the doctors were not going to let DiNozzo wake too soon. However, they didn't know his former agent and Tony usually defied any kind of medical expectations; after all, the young man had survived the plague, so remaining in a drug induced coma because the doctor wanted him to wasn't reason enough for DiNozzo to remain unconscious.

A tiny smile danced on his lips as he considered DiNozzo's tenacity; he had known from the first time they had met that Tony was no stranger to determination and hard work. Tony was a survivor, but Gibbs couldn't help but wonder exactly how much simply surviving in prison had cost DiNozzo. He supposed that only time would tell, but the agent knew he had to be prepared for the emotional fallout that would ultimately follow.

Gibbs pulled in the parking lot and quickly wheeled into a space. Cutting of the engine, he pocketed the keys and got out of the car, quickly making his way to the front entrance of the hospital. Not wanting to wait for the elevator, he took the steps two at a time until he reached the high security floor; opening the fire door, he stepped out onto the floor and muttered a curse underneath his breath. Gibbs hated the fact that Tony was still being treated like a prisoner; he knew it was going to take time to clear DiNozzo's name, but it didn't quell his annoyance with the current situation.

He nodded, quietly acknowledging the nurses and the guard who was still stationed outside of Tony's room. Gibbs was grateful that no one had tried to stop him from seeing Tony; he wasn't in the mood to have anyone question his right to be here. As he entered DiNozzo's room, he was surprised to see Dr. Coleman and Dr. Neal hovering over Tony. The knot in Gibbs' gut constricted; the sight of the two physicians exacerbated the growing concern that had been gnawing at him.

Clearing his throat, he asked, "Everything all right?"

The two doctors turned to greet him. Dr. Coleman motioned Gibbs to step outside the room with him. "Something wrong?" he inquired again as soon as they cleared the door.

Coleman shook his head. "No. In fact, Mr. DiNozzo is trying to wake up. I'm not sure how and I'm sure not going to try and explain it, but he's coming around and trying to fight the vent. I'd like to keep him under a bit longer, but since he's trying to rouse on his own, I'm going to see how he does. Dr. Neal and I are weaning him off the vent and so far, he's doing pretty well."

"Is he awake now?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"He's opened his eyes a few times, but only for a few seconds. I know he can hear us because he's responding to commands. We'll leave you two alone for a while; maybe hearing a familiar voice will help."

Gibbs and the doctor walked back into Tony's room. He moved to Tony's bedside as Dr. Neal stepped away and joined his colleague as they silently left the room. Leaning over the railing, he called out to Tony. "Tony? Can you hear me?"

He placed his hand on top of Tony's head as he spoke the younger man's name once again. "Tony, open your eyes for me."

There wasn't any response from the injured man, but the doctor had told Gibbs that DiNozzo could hear him. He wasn't about to give up; if the circumstances were reversed, Tony wouldn't give up on him. "I know you're in there, DiNozzo. I need you to wake up; I've got some pretty amazing news you need to hear."

He slowly blew out a frustrated breath. What had he expected? Had he truly expected Tony to open his eyes just because he said so? Just because he had ordered Tony to live once, didn't mean that he could do it again. Why couldn't real life be like television? If it were, Tony would wake up, he would tell DiNozzo about Sterling, and they would be walking out of the hospital together as Tony resumed his life. Of course, real life wasn't like that; in fact, at times, real life was a bitch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The only thing he knew at the moment was that he hurt like hell. Pain wasn't anything new to him, but what he was experiencing was to the point of agony. What bothered him even more was that fact that he felt like he was choking; somebody was strangling him and he was going to have to do something or he was going to die. He tried to grab his attacker's arms but he couldn't move; he was being held down, his worst nightmare becoming a reality.

When he finally dared to open his eyes and allow a sliver of light to penetrate the darkness that had encompassed him, Tony discovered two strangers standing above him, insisting that he calm down. He didn't recognize the men, which made him all the more wary of them. Although he figured that he was in the infirmary and the two men were either orderlies or doctors, he wasn't convinced that they were going to help him. Tony had been the recipient of the staff's so-called medical help too many times and he refused to be at their mercy once again.

"My name is Dr. Coleman and this is Dr. Neal," the taller of the two men stated. "I need you to calm down so I can talk to you."

Tony tried to shake his head, but his attempt was met with resistance. He didn't want anyone around him; the young man felt trapped and that feeling completely unnerved him. One of the doctors touched his arm, which only served to exacerbate his doubts and fears. Tony heard alarms going off around him as his breathing became even more labored. He was beginning to believe that he was going to die; maybe his long time wish was coming true.

"Look at me, Mr. DiNozzo," Dr. Coleman demanded. "You've got to calm down and we'll answer all your questions. We're here to help you."

He had become an expert at deciphering other people's intentions; as he met Dr. Coleman's gaze, Tony realized that the man was telling him the truth. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, exhaustion coursing through every fiber of his body; he nodded as he tried to focus on what the doctor had to say.

The alarms were silenced as Dr. Coleman placed a hand on his shoulder. "All right; that's good," the doctor urged. "You were seriously injured in a fight at the prison and you were brought to the hospital. You lost a lot of blood and had a punctured lung; you're on a ventilator to help your lung heal. We were trying to keep you sedated for a little while, but…well, apparently, you had other ideas. Now, you have got to stay calm and we'll see what we can do about making you more comfortable. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Tony would normally have a sharp retort on the tip of his tongue, but all he could muster at the moment was a slight nod. He remembered parts of the attack—more than he wanted to; maybe it would have been better if they had killed him. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that when he returned to prison, that he would be plunged back into the hell his life had become; Tony wasn't sure how much more torment he could take before he was completely broken.

He had become hardened to so many things over the past year. Tony no longer allowed himself to feel or display any emotion; he couldn't afford to appear weak in front of the inmates or the guards. He had learned that lesson the hard way and he had learned it quickly.

As he listened to the doctors and attempted to obey their requests, Tony remained cautious; his obvious distrust of people forcing him to keep his guard up. As Dr. Neal began to explain how they were going to see how well he could breathe on his own before taking him completely off the ventilator, Tony sensed a familiar presence enter his room. Gibbs. Gibbs was the last person that he wanted to see. Couldn't the man take a hint?

The doctors had apparently encouraged the team leader to talk to him. He remembered dreaming that Gibbs had been in his room, but now he wasn't so sure it had been a dream. Tony knew that the agent was leaning over him. "Tony? Can you hear me?" Gibbs asked.

Tony gave no indication that he heard Gibbs; perhaps if the older man thought he was asleep, he would leave. A few seconds later, he felt a hand on the top of his head. _Damn it, Gibbs! Why are you doing this to me?_

"Tony, open your eyes for me."

His natural instinct was to obey his former boss, but Tony still held onto the hope that if he didn't respond, Gibbs would give up. Of course, he knew that the Marine wouldn't give up; it wasn't in the man's nature.

"I know you're in there, DiNozzo. I need you to wake up; I've got some pretty amazing news you need to hear."

What could Gibbs have to say that he hadn't said before? How many times had he heard the promise that he and the team would find something to clear his name? He had given up hope a long time ago, but apparently, Gibbs never had and because of that reason, Tony owed it to the team leader to hear him out.

He slowly opened his eyes once again. As his tried to bring Gibbs' face into focus, he realized that it was too late to turn back; his former mentor knew he was awake and would take advantage of the opportunity to tell him of whatever 'amazing' news that he had to deliver.

"Hey there, Tony," Gibbs quietly greeted. "You with me?"

Tony blinked once in response; hopefully Gibbs remembered the nonverbal signal that they had used when he was recovering from the plague. In the early days of his recovery, Tony hadn't possessed any energy; breathing had been a chore and talking had been out of the question. Gibbs had told him to blink once for yes and twice for no and for two or three days, that had been the extent of their communication.

When he saw Gibbs smile at him, he knew that the agent had remembered. "That's good, Tony. I'm not even gonna ask you how you feel; I know you feel like crap."

He blinked again. Crap was an understatement; his whole body felt like it was simultaneously writhing in flames of anguish. He knew that feeling pain meant that he was alive, but at the moment, he wasn't so sure that living was the best option. Tony was tired, not just physically, but mentally as well. One could only fight so long before defeat became imminent and as far as the ailing man was concerned, he had reached that breaking point.

"I guess crap is an understatement," Gibbs continued to muse. "The doctors didn't expect you wake up so soon, but you showed them. I don't think they'll underestimate you again."

A calloused hand gently squeezed his shoulder, a gesture Gibbs had done many times as an act of reassurance. "I need you to listen to me," the Marine said. Tony recognized that tone and knew that even if he could, there would be no disobeying Gibbs' request.

Tony blinked a third time, silently indicating that he understood the agent. It was difficult to remain focused, but he would do his best to do so; even after all that had happened, he still didn't want to let Gibbs down. The fear of failing the man standing beside him had always weighed heavily on his mind; it was one of the main reasons that he had declined to see Gibbs whenever he visited him in prison.

It had cut Tony to the core of his being to see the desperation in his friend's eyes as he promised time and time again that he would find something to prove his innocence. Every time Gibbs came to visit him, Tony felt like a failure; if he hadn't screwed up, then his long time friend wouldn't have had to waste his time watching him rot in jail.

"I know you're hurting and probably confused," Gibbs began. "When you're stronger, I'll tell you what I know about what happened; I'm still trying to put together the pieces."

Truthfully, Tony didn't want Gibbs digging into his latest altercation; he knew the team leader well enough to know that he would keep investigating, discovering things that the former agent wanted to keep buried. If only he had the energy to offer a protest. At the moment, it was taking everything he had to stay awake and focused on what Gibbs was saying.

"You still with me, Tony?"

Blink. Why what was should have been the simplest of actions, wearing him out? Maybe Warden Phillips had been right all along; maybe he was weak and pathetic.

Gibbs tiredly smiled at him; Tony knew that the older man sensed that he wasn't going to be able to stay awake much longer. "Just give me another minute and then you can rest. What you need to know right now is that we've found some evidence that's going to clear your name; we've got proof that you were set up, Tony, and I swear to you, you're going to be a free man."

He stared at the silver haired agent in disbelief. Surely, he had heard wrong. Tony began to fight the ventilator once again as the monitor began to betray his rising heart rate. This couldn't be happening; his infamous luck had run out over a year ago and he wasn't about to consider the possibility that it had changed. He had so many questions, but he couldn't ask them.

"You have to calm down, DiNozzo," Gibbs warned. "Do you want them to throw me out on my ass?"

Tony blinked twice. For the first time in a long time, he wanted Gibbs to stay; he needed answers and the Marine was the only who could provide them. He managed to slow down his breathing, but not before his doctors and a couple of nurses descended upon him, pushing Gibbs out of the way.

"This is not what I meant when I told you that you could talk to him!" Dr. Neal chastised the team leader. "You were supposed to calm him down!"

Tony blindly reached out with his trembling hand until he felt Gibbs latch on to it. He hoped that the doctors and nurses would understand that he was trying to do what they wanted; unfortunately, it was too late. Out of the corner of his good eye, he saw the nurse inject his IV line with something and within a few seconds, he was drifting towards blissful unawareness. As he closed his eyes, he began to question the possibility that he was dreaming; if he _was_ dreaming, Tony had already decided that he didn't want to wake up.

**Again, I apologize for the delay; like I said in the other chapter I posted, real life gets in the way. I do appreciate your patience and hope you enjoyed the post. I'm blessed to have such loyal readers!**


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

After Tony had fallen asleep, Gibbs had stayed by his side for another hour in hopes that he would get another chance to talk to DiNozzo. He felt like he still had a lot to say to the injured man, but it seemed like he was going to have to wait until a later time; Tony was still sleeping soundly and the team leader didn't have the heart to wake him. Glancing at his watch, he decided that he needed to go to the prison and talk to the warden; it was a conversation that was long past due and the sooner he could figure out exactly what had happened, the sooner he could fully focus on helping DiNozzo reclaim his life.

Gibbs also knew that the doctors were going to try and remove the breathing tube later and that Fornell was planning on dropping by as well, encouraging him to get his ass in gear so he could get back. He would need to be here for Tony; the team leader wasn't going to allow DiNozzo to distance himself any longer. Pushing himself up from the chair that he had been occupying, he stretched in an effort to relieve the deep-seated ache in his back; it was a shame that with all the technology available, no one had yet to design a hospital chair that would provide some measure of comfort. Placing his calloused hand on DiNozzo's forehead, Gibbs silently bid the younger man farewell and made his way to the car.

As he pulled out of the visitor parking lot and onto the road, Gibbs' thoughts turned back to the visit he was going to make to the prison _and_ to Warden Phillips. It was time to find out for himself the sordid details of what happened to land his former senior field agent in the hospital. Of course he realized that he may not be totally prepared for the truth, but nevertheless, he had to know. Someone was going to pay for every ounce of pain that had been inflicted upon DiNozzo—he would make sure of it.

Before Tony had started refusing to see him, Gibbs had noticed DiNozzo's slow and painful movements, but when questioned, the former agent had denied that anything was wrong. The Marine knew better, but there was nothing he had been able to do or say to get Tony to come clean about what was happening to him. DiNozzo had all but told him to mind his own business and Gibbs couldn't help but wonder that maybe he should have pressed a little harder; perhaps if he had, Tony wouldn't have been beaten to within an inch of his life.

Gibbs was so caught up in his thoughts, it barely registered that he was coming upon the exit that would take him to the prison. He had come to know this road all too well; hopefully, he wouldn't have to make any more visits after today. Taking the exit ramp, he executed a rolling stop and then pulled out onto the two lane highway. It only took him a few more minutes before he was pulling into the visitor's lot and parking his car beside another government issued Charger. Figuring that McGee and Ziva were beginning to take statements, he decided that he would check in with them before he talked with the Warden.

Flashing his badge for identification, he proceeded through the checkpoint, informing the guard that he had left his weapon locked up in his car. Fortunately, the officer didn't dare question him and allowed him to pass, telling him that his colleagues were in the commons area. The team leader nodded his thanks and turned to walk down the long corridor, his stride boasting a mixture of anger and determination.

He entered the room to find McGee and Ziva talking to a guard. The officer looked nervous, suspiciously eyeing the young woman; Gibbs assumed that the Mossad liaison had threatened the man with bodily harm. Sometimes it was handy having a former assassin around. "What do you got?" he asked.

"Boss, this is Officer Carl Banks," McGee stated. "It seems that he's responsible for setting up this last attack on Tony; this…uh…apparently wasn't the first time that he's made these kinds of arrangements."

Gibbs braced his arms on the table and leaned forward. "Is that true, _Officer_ Banks?"

"Uh…well," Banks stammered.

The team leader pounded his fist on the table causing the man to startle. "Answer me!" He wasn't in the mood to play games. If this man was in any way responsible for what had happened to Tony, then Officer Banks was going to discover firsthand the dangers of being a cop in prison.

"I uh…was…"

"I suggest you answer him," Ziva whispered in Banks' ear. "You need to quit beating around the tree."

"Bush," McGee automatically corrected.

Gibbs glared at Banks, who sank down further in his chair. "Don't make me ask again," the Marine warned. "Are you responsible for setting up Tony?"

"Yes," Banks answered. "But I'm not the only one; DiNozzo has a lot of enemies in here."

"Tell me something I don't know! I want a list of names and you can put your name on the top of the list."

"What's going to happen to me?"

The agent was seething. "As far as I'm concerned, you can rot in hell."

"But it was all Charles' idea!" Banks blurted out.

The three agents exchanged puzzled glances. Gibbs stood tall, his jaw firmly clenched. "Charles?" His gut was screaming at him; could Banks be talking about Chip? If the officer was referring to Sterling, then Gibbs could put another nail in the little bastard's coffin. "Charles who?"

"Charles Sterling," the man nervously replied. "He's my brother-in-law. He told me what DiNozzo had done to him and so I agreed to help him exact some revenge. I mean, he's family—what was I supposed to do?"

Gibbs had surpassed fuming and was now raging inside. "What were you supposed to do? You're an officer of the law and you're _supposed_ to uphold the law!" If it hadn't been for the fact that the agent knew that he would need Banks to testify against Chip, he would have taken great pleasure in taking the guard apart, limb by limb. By cutting a deal, it was more than likely that Banks would get off easy, but at least Sterling would be behind bars.

He walked around the table until he was behind the guard. It was still taking every ounce of restraint he could muster not to jerk the man out of the chair and render his own brand of justice; Banks deserved a taste of his own medicine. The team leader was now standing beside Banks, maintaining a firm grasp on the other man's shoulder. Gibbs gave his shoulder a firm squeeze. "I want you to tell everything to Officer David and Agent McGee," he instructed. "I want to know every little detail of Sterling's plans and how you carried them out. If I like what you have to say, we'll see about cutting some kind of deal. You don't give me something I can use, I'll throw you under the bus alongside your brother-in-law."

"But…"

"It's either you or Chip and you ought to know how former cops are treated in prison." Gibbs released his grip and headed towards the exit. "Think about it," he said over his shoulder as he opened the door.

With a quick nod to McGee and Ziva, he headed towards the warden's office. He knew that his two team members understood his silent instructions; they had definitely learned a few things since Tony had been gone. Gibbs knew that when he returned, he would have a full confession as well as more information that he could used against Sterling; if McGee couldn't get it out of him, Ziva definitely would.

It didn't take very long for him to reach the office of Warden Phillips. Gibbs excused the guard that had been stationed outside the door and he purposefully strode into the office. He and Warden Phillips had crossed paths a few times before, but this time, the gauntlet had been thrown and Gibbs was prepared for battle. Phillips had done nothing but lie to him for a long time and now was the time of reckoning.

"Agent Gibbs," the warden greeted.

"Why?" the agent demanded, ignoring the other man's attempt at exchanging pleasantries.

"I'm afraid I don't understand the question, Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs walked over and locked the door. His movements were swift and fluid as he moved to pin the Warden against the wall. "You knew all along what was happening!" he roared. "How much were you paid to look the other way?"

"I don't…"

The fact that Phillips was gasping for air didn't seem to bother the agent. He wanted answers and one way or another, he was going to get them. The warden had lied to him and that was unacceptable; the man had failed to do his job and in turn, Tony had nearly died. "You gave me your word that you were going to look into the beatings; you were going to make sure that Tony stayed safe. You didn't keep up your end of the bargain."

Gibbs threw Phillips to the floor, knowing he was dangerously close to crossing that invisible line of right and wrong. He glared at the man as the warden struggled to his feet. "I told you that interfering would make things even more difficult for DiNozzo; I specifically warned you that _you_ were putting a target on his back," Phillips recalled. "This is prison! Did you really think that DiNozzo was going to get off that easy? I did what I could and confined him to solitary as much as I could justify it. He was a cop in prison and you know what that means! It's not my fault that he couldn't stay out of trouble!"

He visibly bristled. Gibbs knew that Warden Phillips was trying to deflect the blame from himself, but the team leader was not about to let that happen. "He's in the hospital, recovering from the injuries from his latest encounter; one of your guards set him up to receive a beating and at the moment, that officer is about to spill his guts to my agents!"

"What do you want me say, Gibbs?"

The agent could hear a mixture of exasperation and desperation in Phillips' voice. Gibbs grabbed the warden by the arm and forced him to sit down in the nearest chair. Standing over him, the Marine didn't bother to hide his disdain for the other man. Gibbs had to continue reminding himself that he had to remain in control; there was simply too much at stake.

Menacingly leaning over the warden, Gibbs answered, "I want you to give me Tony's files, including all his medical records."

"I can't…"

Gibbs pulled a warrant out of his pocket and slammed it down on the desk. He was glad that Fornell had been thinking ahead and had provided him with the document that he would need to seize the records. "Yes, you can. This is for your computers and for your files; anything that has Tony DiNozzo's name, is now property of NCIS."

"You're out of your jurisdiction!" Phillips exclaimed. "This isn't a NCIS matter! What happens in this prison doesn't concern you! Last I knew, DiNozzo cut all ties to you!"

He tried to ignore deliberate stab to his gut. Gibbs hated to be reminded of the fact that DiNozzo had removed him from being his next of kin; the warden definitely knew how to throw a few punches of his own. The team leader clenched his fist as he slowly released a pent up breath that he had inadvertently been holding. "That's irrelevant! What does matter is that you have been overlooking the constant abuse…"

"He brought it on himself!" the warden growled. "He thought he was above the law; DiNozzo thought he could get away with murder and he almost did. Those of us who try and uphold the law don't like it when we're made to look bad."

"Tony was set up and you know it," Gibbs shot back. "You don't uphold anything except your own twisted rules. Of course, you're going to get a taste of your own medicine, because you're well on your way to prison. Conspiracy to murder will get you a few years."

"Conspiracy to murder?"

"Yep. Officer Banks is singing like a canary." Gibbs realized that he was taking a chance by playing this particular hand he had been dealt, but he really didn't have a choice. Phillips knew what Banks and the others had been doing and in his book, that made the warden just as guilty. "Don't forget that when all the records are gone through, there will probably be a separate investigation into your prison and who knows what that will uncover."

Exasperation and desperation had now merged into panic; it was obvious that the warden was starting to get nervous. This was definitely a man who had a lot to lose and Gibbs was more than prepared to be the one to take it all away. "So, are you ready to talk?"

The warden merely nodded, prompting Gibbs to pull up a chair beside him and pull out his tablet. The team leader was fully aware of the fact that he wasn't going to like everything he was about to hear, but maybe by the time he was done, the agent would have a better idea of everything DiNozzo had been through. He glared at the warden as he opened up his notebook. "Start talking," he gruffly ordered. "Let's start at the beginning."

As Warden Phillips began to talk, Gibbs began to write. The more he learned about what Tony had been subjected to, the more he struggled to tamp down the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. Gibbs realized that he had barely touched the tip of the iceberg; Tony DiNozzo had been through hell and he had done nothing the entire time except offer him false platitudes of hope. It wasn't any wonder that he had cut Gibbs out of his life.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next time Tony began to surface from his drugged induced slumber, he instantly became aware of the fact that he was still in agonizing pain. However that realization paled in comparison to the feelings of uncertainty and loneliness that was threatening to overwhelm when he discovered that Gibbs was no longer there. Of course, given the jumbled mess that now comprised his mind, he wasn't sure that his former boss had even been there. Tony remembered Gibbs talking to him and telling him that he had found something that would clear his name; that memory alone had all but convinced him that he had been dreaming.

Pushing those particular thoughts to the back of his mind, his gaze came to rest on two familiar faces standing over him. Tony knew that the two men were the doctors who saved his life, but at the moment, he couldn't recall their names. He supposed that it didn't matter what their names were; Tony knew that he would be sent back to the prison infirmary sooner than later and he would never seen the two men again.

"Mr. DiNozzo, it's Dr. Neal; can you hear me?"

Tony managed a slight nod, wincing at the not too gentle reminder of the tube down his throat. He felt trapped, which only served to exacerbate the terror that was coursing through his body. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that if showed a modicum of fear that they would sedate him again and he needed to stay awake long enough to figure out exactly what was going on.

"That's good. Dr. Coleman and I are going to take you off ventilator," the physician began to explain. "I just need you to relax as much as possible and cough when I tell you to. Do you understand?"

He nodded again and managed to do as he was instructed. Within a few seconds, he was free of the breathing tube, which was replaced by a nasal canula. Tony took several deep breaths, appreciating the fact that he no longer felt like he was suffocating.

"I'll have the nurse bring you some ice chips in a minute," the other doctor informed him as Dr. Neal listened to his lungs.

The injured man licked his parched lips as he attempted to speak; the ability to form a word seemed lost to him at the moment. Tony needed to know if Gibbs had been in his room or if the team leader's presence had been wishful thinking. "Gi…Gibbs," he finally managed to rasp. "He…here?"

"If you're referring to Agent Gibbs, he was here," Dr. Neal confirmed. "He said he would be back later and I have a feeling that he's a man of his word."

"Yeah," Tony quietly replied. Apparently Dr. Coleman and Dr. Neal were now among the growing list of people who didn't want to cross Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He still wasn't sure how Gibbs had managed to get in to see him, but when it came to determination and tenacity, his former mentor seemed to have been given a double dose.

"You need to rest. Later, we're going to take a look at that knee and see what kind of damage it sustained," Dr. Coleman stated. "You're going to be fine, but it's going to take a while."

_Until the next time._ Tony didn't voice his thoughts, but he knew that once he returned to the prison that it would only be a matter of time before he was involved in another so called incident. Despite his best efforts to stay out of trouble, he always seemed to be in the middle of some altercation; Tony knew that he was constantly being singled out, but there was nothing he could do about it. No one in that hellhole, including the Warden, cared if he lived or die; that was the price of being a former cop who was condemned to life in prison and Tony had finally come to accept that he was going to have to pay that price.

He was so lost in his private musings, it had taken Tony a few seconds to realize that Dr. Coleman was still talking to him. The young man forced himself to focus on what the physician was saying. "You have some visitors if you're up to seeing them."

"Who?" he asked, his voice betraying the weakness that had enveloped him.

"There are two FBI agents out in the waiting room," Coleman informed him. "They arrived just before we came in here to take you off the ventilator; I told them we would have to see how you were doing. If you're not up to it, I'll tell them to come back later."

What would the FBI want with him now? What had he done? His mind momentarily drifted to the words that Gibbs had apparently spoken to him; the Marine had said something about having proof that he had been set up. Was that true? Even though he was exhausted and struggling against the constant pain assailing him, Tony readily agreed to see the FBI agents.

"If I think things are getting too intense for you, I'm kicking them out," the doctor warned.

"Okay," he whispered, resisting the urge to cry out in pain as he shifted slightly.

The blurred image of Dr. Neal walked over to the door and motioned for the agents to enter. Tony blinked several times to clear his vision but the action didn't help. He surmised that he had one hell of a concussion and it would be a while before his vision returned to normal. His gaze remained fixed on the door as Agents Fornell and Sacks entered the room. The two men merged into four, forcing DiNozzo to tamp down the nausea that was beginning to plague him. Tony began to have second thoughts about conceding to see the agents, but at the moment, he couldn't ignore his gut. His instincts were telling him to hear them out and he would do so; he just hoped that they were going to say something he wanted to hear.

**I apologize for the delay. I'm in an area that was greatly affected by the power outages last week, but thankfully, we finally got our power back the other day! I hope if any of you were affected as well, that you have your power back.**

**So between that and being on vacation, it's been a while since I was able to post. I appreciate those who understand about real life and are sticking with me—you guys are totally awesome, or as my son would say, you guys are the bomb-diggity! Hope you enjoyed the post!**


	10. Chapter 10

**PART 10**

Tony watched as Agents Fornell and Sacks approached his bedside. He was wary of their presence; it was their investigation that had resulted in him being charged with murder and ultimately sentenced him to spend the rest of his life in prison. DiNozzo knew that Tobias had simply been doing his job and he couldn't fault the man for that; however, Sacks had been out to crucify him and Tony was having a hard time forgiving and forgetting.

"DiNozzo," Fornell greeted.

The fact that Tobias had forgone the usual over pronunciation of his name did little to quell the growing anxiety within him; perhaps he should have told his doctor that he wasn't up to seeing anyone. It wouldn't have been a lie; truthfully, he really didn't _want_ to see anyone. Of course, he figured that it really didn't matter what he wanted; one of the first lessons that Tony had learned in prison was that the only things he was entitled to were three meals a day an cell. The thought of returning to that hell hole was not something he wanted to think about, but he knew that he couldn't escape from his reality.

"Fornell," he rasped, wincing at the soreness of his throat.

"I'd ask you how you're feeling, but you'd probably tell me you were fine."

"Might…as well be."

His voice betrayed the weakness that seemed to consume him. Tony refused to show any hint of vulnerability; he realized that no matter how much he was hurting, his life often depended on keeping his mask of indifference firmly in place.

"What…are…you doing here?" he wanted to know.

"Straight to the point," Tobias observed. "The older you get, the more you act like Gibbs."

Gibbs. Gibbs had been here. He had sat right beside him and told him…Tony's mind went blank. The injured man began to doubt himself. Had the team leader actually been here or had he been dreaming? A mixture of melancholy and regret flooded his soul as he thought about the man who had served as a father figure to him for the past several years. He had intentionally pushed the older man away in hopes of sparing his friend and mentor the pain of watching him rot in prison. Tony thought that he had been doing Gibbs a favor, but there were times when he doubted that he had made the best decision. His self-imposed isolation had cost him dearly; Tony had become hardened and distant, not caring whether he lived or died.

Fornell sensed the obvious discomfort that his words had caused Tony. "Do you remember Agent Sacks?" the agent asked in an attempt to change the subject.

Tony nodded as he mentally chastised himself to stay focused. He couldn't afford to let his attention waver even for a second. "Agent Sacks."

He ignored the silent exchange between the two agents; Tony wondered exactly what they were expecting from him. Avoiding the nickname that he had bestowed upon the younger agent had been purposeful; he had simply done this to reciprocate Fornell's earlier courtesy that had been extended to him. The old Tony that enjoyed laughing and teasing no longer existed. His emotions and feelings were now buried in a deep chasm, never to be exposed to the light again.

"Why…are you…here?" he asked once again.

"We're bearers of good news," Fornell exclaimed.

"What news?"

Fornell stepped closer and hovered over him. Tony visibly flinched, feeling smothered by the sudden nearness of the older man. He had become all too aware of the fact that any kind of physical touch usually resulted in pain, and even though his mind knew that Fornell wouldn't hurt him, Tony found himself unwilling to let his guard down for even a second.

Nonplussed by Tony's reactions, the FBI agent continued to explain his purpose for being in his room. "I know that Gibbs was here earlier and he told you that there was some new evidence to clear your name. I just wanted to let you know that we're in the process of reopening your case."

So, Gibbs really had been here. The fog that had been hanging over him seemed to lift as he began to vaguely recall the Marine's words. Despite the assurance that he hadn't been imagining Gibbs' presence, Tony still wasn't sure that he had fully comprehended what Fornell was saying. "What?" he asked.

"We've got evidence that supports the fact that you were framed. We have proof that Charles Sterling set you up."

Tony closed his eyes for moment in an effort to sort out his jumbled thoughts. He could now recall hearing Gibbs' voice uttering something similar; the two men had to be speaking the truth but sometimes the truth could be difficult to accept. Now was undeniably one of those times.

He licked his lips. "Chip? But why?" Tony suddenly wished that Gibbs was here. Despite their estrangement, he knew that the team leader could help him make sense of what was happening.

"We're still filling in a lot of the blanks," Sacks explained. "We can tell you that it seems like his motive was pure and simple revenge."

"I…I don't understand." Tony never personally cared for Abby's former lab assistant, but he still couldn't figure out why the man would want to frame him for murder. He had so many questions running through his mind that needed answers. "What…but how? How did…he do it?"

"He was very careful. Abby was the one that found the discrepancies in some of the tests that Sterling had run; there's also some incriminating video where he basically confesses to setting you up. We're working around the clock to figure this out and we're going to get to the bottom of this," the taller agent promised.

"Is…this…for real?"

"It's for real, Tony," Fornell assured him. "You're going to be a free man."

Tony shook his head. He was definitely having a difficult time processing everything. The former agent knew that he should be ecstatic, but his gut was telling him to remain cautious. He had literally dreamed of this day for months, but had finally accepted that he was condemned to spend the rest of his life in prison. He realized that Fornell wouldn't lie to him, but he no longer had the capability or desire to trust anyone; the past year had taught Tony that the only person he could rely on was himself and there were some days that he was reluctant to even do that.

"You okay, DiNozzo?" the FBI agent tentatively inquired.

Tony still wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. There were so many conflicting emotions churning inside him that he couldn't begin to describe what he was feeling. The pain that was still plaguing him was preventing him from completely absorbing the news that Fornell had just delivered; he needed time to determine what he was supposed to do. "Yeah," he finally managed to reply.

"You sure?"

He closed his eyes as a wave of pain crashed over him. Tony blew out a long, drawn out breath, taking a minute to slip his mask back into place. Once again, meeting Fornell's gaze, he silently debated asking the one question that he had been avoiding ever since he had awakened from his drug induced slumber. Now that he knew that Gibbs had truly been in his room, he summoned the courage to ask, "Where's um…where's Gibbs?"

"He'll be back soon," Tobias answered. "He went to the prison to…"

"What?" The last thing he wanted was for his former boss to start asking questions at the prison; so much had happened during the past year, and he would prefer that no one, especially Gibbs, find out the truth. He struggled to sit up but his battered body screamed in protest.

"Easy, DiNozzo. What's wrong? You want me to call Gibbs?"

Tony nodded. The fear of Gibbs finding out about the hell his life had become was greater than the fear he had of seeing the Marine once again. If the agent wanted to know about his time in prison, it was going to be on his terms and not part of an investigation.

"All right," Fornell soothed. "I'll call him, but you have to relax or your doctor isn't going to let you talk to anyone."

"Call him," Tony pleaded. "Please."

Knowing Fornell was right, he slowed his breathing as the FBI agent pulled out his cell phone and stepped outside his room with Sacks in tow. He clenched the sheet, ignoring the pull of his IV. Tony had no idea what he was going to say to Gibbs, but at least the Marine wouldn't be at the prison, opening up old wounds that had truly never healed.

DiNozzo still wasn't completely convinced that he wasn't dreaming; he wouldn't be surprised if he woke up to discover that everything that had just happened was just an extension of the nightmare his life had become. Hope had abandoned him the day that he was pronounced guilty and he hadn't dared to try and hold on to it. Now that it was returning, Tony wasn't sure if he would be able to permit himself to embrace it; the possibility of opening himself up for that kind of heart wrenching agony once again was too much to bear.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs had ordered Warden Phillips and Carl Banks to be taken into custody and out of his sight. It was taking every ounce of restraint that he could muster not to tear the two men to shreds. He figured that the rest of his team would have helped him bury the bodies and hide the evidence, but death was too good for them. They, along with Charles Sterling, needed to suffer for the hell that they had put DiNozzo through.

He had instructed McGee and Ziva to escort their prisoners to NCIS and wait for Fornell. With the exception of the notes he had taken while interrogating Phillips and the separate file that the Warden had kept on Tony, he had sent most of the evidence that they had collected with his other two agents. After listening to Phillips gloat about the pain and humiliation that DiNozzo had been forced to endure, Gibbs had decided that there were some things that didn't need to be made public knowledge. Although he knew that he was withholding evidence, he felt he was justified in doing so; he had failed to protect Tony once and to do so again was not acceptable.

Glancing at his watch, he muttered a curse as he gathered his notes and headed towards his car. He hadn't intended on staying so long, but he had to make sure that all the bases were covered; Gibbs was _not_ going to screw this up because of some technicality. He was forced to ignore the voice in his head that reminded him that he was withholding some evidence. Gibbs knew that they had enough to prosecute Sterling and the others without the file he had taken—he would make sure of that. The team leader had promised Tony that he was going to be a free man and he fully intended to keep his word.

He got in his car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading back to the hospital. His thoughts were mulling over everything that he had just learned; Gibbs was beginning to understand why Tony had been determined to keep him at arm's length. He still wished that DiNozzo would have let him know what was going on; maybe he couldn't have stopped it, but he could have helped share the burden that Tony had taken upon his shoulders.

Who was he kidding? Tony had tried to tell him that his presence just made things worse; maybe if he had listened, then the younger man would have been spared some of the torment he had been subjected to. Why didn't he listen to DiNozzo? He tamped down his guilt, knowing that Tony didn't need his pity or regrets; Gibbs knew that he had to concentrate on making sure that nothing stood in the way of DiNozzo's freedom.

The ringing of his cell phone forced him back to the present. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he gruffly answered, "Gibbs."

"Where are you?" Fornell wanted to know.

"Good to see that you've learned to dispense with the pleasantries, Tobias," Gibbs shot back. "I'm on my way to the hospital."

"DiNozzo's awake and he wants to see you."

Gibbs was taken aback by Fornell's declaration. Although Tony had been awake earlier when he had visited earlier, the team leader wasn't sure how much his former agent had managed to comprehend. The fact that DiNozzo _wanted_ to see him was both a surprise and a relief. His foot mashed down on the accelerator as he sped towards the hospital, hoping that Tony wouldn't change his mind by the time he arrived.

"How's he doing?" Gibbs asked.

"He's fairly lucid. He seemed to understand what was happening and that we had evidence that could clear him, but I'm not sure he believes it. One thing I am sure of is that he's wary of us being here."

"Us?"

"Me and Sacks. I think we're bringing up too many bad memories."

"You helped put him prison, Tobias; I don't think he's going to let that go," Gibbs pointed out. Tony and Fornell had always tolerated each other, but his senior field agent and Sacks had clashed from the beginning. Gibbs had briefly wondered if one day, DiNozzo and Agent Slacks, as Tony called him, would share a friendship reminiscent of his and Fornell's; maybe someday he would still get the opportunity to find out.

"He definitely doesn't trust us."

"Can't blame him there," the team leader countered. Even before his time in prison, trust didn't come easily to Tony. Maybe because everyone that Tony had faith in ended up letting him down; unfortunately, Gibbs could add himself to that list.

"Neither do I."

"I'm pulling in the parking lot now. Tell him I'll be right there."

Gibbs hung up and slung his phone onto the seat beside him. Throwing the car in park, he got out of it, and raced towards the entrance, not wanting to waste any time. Instead of waiting for the elevator, he took the stairs two at a time until he reached the floor that Tony's room was on. Striding down the hall, he saw Agent Sacks standing just outside of DiNozzo's room.

"Fornell's in there," Sacks stated. "He said he didn't want to leave DiNozzo alone."

Not caring if he acknowledged Sacks or not, he walked into Tony's room to see Tobias sitting by his bedside. Gibbs joined him, his eyes riveted to the seemingly dozing form of DiNozzo. "Is he back asleep?"

"No. I think he's playing possum," Tobias informed him. "I think it's his way of ignoring me."

Gibbs placed a hand on Tony's shoulder, mindful of the bruises that adorned the injured man's body. "DiNozzo?" he quietly called out.

He breathed an inward sigh of relief when Tony opened his eyes and met his concerned gaze. The emptiness of DiNozzo's soul was evident by the haunted expression that he wore; since talking with the Warden, Gibbs had a better understanding of why Tony had changed so much. There wasn't anyone who could go through the hell that DiNozzo had gone through and remain unaffected. The team leader understood now that the physical and emotional changes that Tony was exhibiting were a result of necessity; prison was a game of survival of the fittest and it was one that his former agent apparently refused to lose.

"Gibbs," Tony whispered.

The Marine smiled at his friend, hoping to put the dark-haired man at ease. He could easily sense that Tony was guarded and Gibbs realized that there weren't any words that he could utter that would convince DiNozzo that he was safe. The older man couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be a time when Tony would know that he could feel secure; Gibbs also had to consider the reality that the man who once served as his senior field agent no longer existed.

"Sorry I wasn't here," Gibbs apologized. "I thought I had time to…it doesn't matter, I guess. How ya doin'?"

"Fine."

The monosyllabic answers that Tony provided only exacerbated Gibbs' worry. Glancing over his shoulder, he motioned for Fornell to leave; hopefully with the FBI agent out of sight, DiNozzo would be more inclined to talk. Then again, he could be in for a one sided conversation.

"Do you remember me being here before?" the agent wanted to know.

"Kinda."

"Do you remember me telling you that you were gonna be a free man?"

"Yeah. Thought I was dreaming until Fornell said the same thing."

Gibbs was grateful that Tony was actually talking to him now; it was definitely an improvement. "We've got enough evidence to clear you; I'm going to call your lawyer and have her reopen your case."

Tony tiredly sighed. "I still don't understand why Chip would do this."

"We're going to find out why," Gibbs vowed. "We've also arrested Carl Banks and Warden Phillips; we have them up on conspiracy, assault, falsifying records, attempted murder, and whatever else I can throw at them. They'll be put away for a long time."

He used to always know what Tony was thinking, but right now, Gibbs couldn't even fathom a guess. DiNozzo's mask was firmly in place; the hurting man was determined to keep his emotions in check.

"Will I have to go back to prison when…I leave here?"

Gibbs knew that it was a possibility until they had managed to present their case to clear Tony's name, but he had planned to do everything in his power to prevent DiNozzo from having to go back to prison. It was time that Tony escaped from this nightmare that he had been forced to live this past year. "I…I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you don't have to; I'll know more when I talk with your lawyer."

"I can't pay her."

"You won't have to; I have a feeling that she's going to take great pleasure in presenting this new evidence and clearing your name. "

"I'm not a charity case, Gibbs."

"It's not charity, DiNozzo; it's justice."

The team leader had to admit that he was unnerved by Tony's seemingly calm acceptance of what was going on; Gibbs had figured that the younger man would have some questions or comments to add, but Tony had remained passive and quiet. He decided that he would call Tony on his unusual behavior. "Tony? Do you have any questions about what's going on?"

"Nope."

"I figured you would be a little more excited."

He watched Tony close his eyes as if he were trying to block out the world. "I keep waiting," Tony rasped.

"Waiting for what?"

Tony opened his eyes but avoided meeting Gibbs' gaze. The agent felt the knot in his gut pull tighter as DiNozzo painstakingly replied, "The other shoe to drop."

His friend was convinced that this was all a ruse and that there was no use in getting his hopes up. Truthfully, Gibbs couldn't blame him. Before him was a man who had always been forced to fight against the odds to prove his worthiness; Tony had only relied on himself until the two of them had met in Baltimore and forged the beginnings of a partnership and a friendship. This past year in prison had forced him to revert back to survival mode and Gibbs knew that at the moment, Tony didn't trust anyone, including him.

"I've got your six, Tony," he promised. "I've got your six."

Tony didn't acknowledge Gibbs' heartfelt oath; of course, he didn't expect an affirmation. He knew that he couldn't push DiNozzo; the Marine knew that he would have to take things slow and rebuild that ability to trust that had been shattered by the harshness of prison. "Can I get you anything?" Gibbs asked.

Still refusing to look at him, Tony replied with a question of his own. "What did you find out…at the prison?"

He considered head slapping himself for not realizing that Tony would be worried about what he discovered from the interrogation of the Warden and Officer Banks. Gibbs knew that there were things that DiNozzo wouldn't want anyone to know about; he knew that if their positions were switched that he would move heaven and earth to keep the past hidden. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Tony; I interrogated the Warden and read…"

Tony's cheeks flushed bright crimson. "Forget I asked," he growled. "Just forget…I asked and you forget…"

Gibbs knew what Tony was asking of him. He wanted him to ignore everything that he had learned in order to keep what little pride DiNozzo had left intact. "No one else saw the records and I…"

"Just forget it," Tony forcibly reiterated, his jaw tightly clenched.

DiNozzo pulled away as Gibbs gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. Why did he, even for a moment, think that things were going to be like they once were? Securing Tony's freedom wasn't going to be as hard as securing his trust. Gibbs definitely had his work cut out for him, but he was willing to face Satan himself to save Tony; he just hoped that DiNozzo _wanted_ to be saved.

**Thank you, my loyal readers for your patience. It's a bummer having to share a laptop with your teenage son! It has cut down on my writing time somewhat, but please know that I haven't forgotten about any of my stories. It may just take a while to get updates out. Maybe Santa will bring me one for Christmas! LOL Anyway, I hope you enjoy the post and a special shout out to AZGirl for the beta!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Part 11**

The elevator doors opened, granting its two occupants access to the familiar orange that always greeted them upon arrival. Special Agent Timothy McGee and Mossad Officer Ziva David entered the bullpen, each one looking forward to a brief respite from an exhausting couple of days. They had just relinquished custody of Charles Sterling, Warden Phillips, and Carl Banks, to the FBI and were coming to the office to finish up the required paperwork, making sure that everything was in order; Tony's freedom was at stake and they didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it.

Ziva slid into her seat, her gaze coming to rest on the empty desk directly across from her. Although there had been several attempts to fill that vacant seat, no one had been able to fill Tony's shoes. She never really had the chance to get to know DiNozzo before he had been arrested; her knowledge of him had been based on an intelligence file and the few months that she had been part of the team. The one thing that she had quickly discovered was that Anthony DiNozzo was a complex man; there were many layers to the former agent and he was very guarded. Ziva was looking forward to perhaps peeling away a few of those layers and getting to know the man that had been the focal point of their lives for the last year.

"Do you think he will come back to work?" she asked McGee, startling him out of what she assumed to be his own private thoughts.

"Tony?" McGee replied, clearly caught off guard by her question.

"Who else would I be talking about? Once Tony is cleared, he is free to resume his life," she pointed out. "He should want to come back to work; am I right?"

"I don't think it's going to be that easy," the young agent stated. "Probably the last thing on Tony's mind is coming back to work. He's basically starting over and he may decide to do something else with his life."

"I hope not. What little I saw him in action, Tony seems like he was a capable agent."

"Truthfully, he was one of the best."

She was surprised to hear McGee's admission. On more than one occasion, Ziva had witnessed Tony's merciless teasing of the younger man; she had always assumed that it was a source of annoyance for McGee. It was obvious that Tim truly respected and admired DiNozzo. Ziva wondered if perhaps she should have taken the time over the past year to get to know more about Tony.

They had been undercover and she had pieced together a few pieces of the puzzle that was Tony DiNozzo, but she was still wary about letting anyone get too close. In her mind, Ziva had just been following orders and running down leads because of the kinship that she felt with Gibbs. She had never truly believed that the former agent had been capable of murder, but had she simply been trusting the team leader's instincts or had the Mossad officer managed to place a miniscule amount of faith in the man known as Tony DiNozzo?

"I did not know that you felt that way about him," she finally said. "I knew that you do not believe him capable of murder and have been working diligently to prove his innocence, but I did not realize that you held him in such high regard."

"I don't guess _I_ realized it until he was gone," Tim admitted. "It didn't take me long to figure out how much Gibbs truly relied on Tony; he had the ability to anticipate what Gibbs needed and to think outside the box. I've been here over two years and I still can't do that. I deal in facts and sometimes as an investigator, you need to be able to look beyond the facts and pull that missing piece out of the air that completes the puzzle; Tony can do that and I hope that _if _he comes back, he'll teach me how to do that."

Ziva nodded at Tim's accurate assessment of Tony. She could recall several times when the seemingly unnecessary movie reference or something just as obscure had provided a clue that would have substantial merit in whatever case they were working on. "Perhaps _when_ he returns, he can teach us both."

McGee smiled. "Yeah, maybe."

She blew out a long breath as she struggled with the awkward silence. "So, I guess we better finish these reports before Gibbs has a horse."

"Cow," he automatically corrected.

"I will never get use to your American slang," Ziva sighed in slight frustration.

"You'll get the hang of it. Now, let's get to work and maybe when we're done, we can drop by the hospital and see how Tony's doing."

A smile escaped Ziva's lips as she considered Tim's suggestion. "That is an excellent idea; we can let Tony know that we are happy that he is going to be exonerated."

"Yeah," McGee agreed. "You know, I just hope that he agrees to see us. Tony's pretty much declined any visitors the past year; he even refused to see Gibbs."

Both agents easily recalled how unbearable Gibbs had been after Tony had refused to see him that first time. A myriad of anger, hurt, and confusion had fueled the team leader for several weeks until Ducky had braved the storm of Gibbs' wrath. A bottle of scotch and a heart to heart with the ME had somewhat soothed the fire within the Marine and helped him to refocus. Although Tony still refused to see him, Gibbs never quit trying and now, his perseverance had certainly paid off.

"Yes, but that was when he was in prison. Things are different now," she reminded him. "I think it will do him good to see a couple of friendly faces."

Before McGee could reply, Abby joined the two agents, having overheard the last part of their conversation. "You guys are going to see Tony? Can I tag along? I really need to see him! I have so much to tell him."

"I do not see why you cannot go with us," Ziva answered. She knew that Abby had a close relationship with Tony and his incarceration and subsequent refusal to accept visitors had been difficult for her to accept as well. The scientist had blamed herself for her friend going to prison and that guilt had been the driving force in her discovering that Chip had ultimately been responsible for framing Tony.

"Oh, good!" Abby excitedly proclaimed. "Let me go grab my stuff and I'll meet you in the garage. By the way, who's driving?"

"I am," Ziva and McGee answered in unison.

McGee cleared his throat. "Uh…Ziva, I think it's a good idea if I drive. Nothing against your driving; it's just that we want to arrive…well, you know…alive."

Ziva visibly bristled at the poorly disguised insult. "I have you know that I am an excellent driver; it is not my fault that your country has speed limits and one way streets. Besides, _you_ drive too slow; we will never get to the hospital."

"Now, wait a minute," Tim protested.

"Never mind," Abby interjected. "I'll drive. So, how much longer before you can leave?"

"Uh, at least thirty minutes. We've got to finish our reports."

"Sounds good. That will give me time to call Sister Rosita and tell her the good news." Abby turned to leave and called back to them over her shoulder. Meet at my car in forty-five minutes."

As they watched Abby leave, Ziva sensed McGee glaring at her. "What?" she inquired, confused by the expression of irritation he now wore on his face.

"Have you ever ridden anywhere with Abby?"

"No."

"Oh…no reason," McGee said, turning his attention back to his report. "You'll find out soon enough. Let's just say you can ride shotgun."

Ziva tried to get her partner to explain what he meant, but McGee just smiled and continued typing. After several more failed attempts, she gave up and returned to her own report. Ziva doubted that she would ever understand Americans and their warped sense of humor; it was obvious that she had her work cut out for her if she was ever going to completely become a part of this team.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It had taken Tony a long time to accept that he was going to have to spend the rest of his life in that hell of a prison he had been sentenced to, and now, he was trying to figure out how he was supposed to resume the life that had been so savagely ripped from him by the system that once had held his trust. Truthfully, he was having a difficult time comprehending everything that had just happened in the past few hours; Tony understood that he had been framed by Chip, but the how and why escaped him.

The scientist's presence had always annoyed him, but Tony had thought that for the most part, he had treated the man with a modem of professional courtesy; he couldn't recall ever doing or saying anything that would warrant Chip setting him up. Tony couldn't deny that over the years, he had made several enemies—that was a hazard of the job, but that didn't explain the connection between him and Chip Sterling; as far as he knew, he had never met the guy. If he was pissing off people he didn't even know, then how was he supposed to live a normal life ever again? Would he constantly be looking over his shoulder and questioning everyone's motives towards him? Would he ever be able to trust anyone ever again?

"You still awake?"

Tony's gaze followed Gibbs as he entered his room, carrying a cup of coffee. His former boss had stepped out to make a few calls, one of them being to his attorney that he had dismissed soon after his sentencing; he couldn't continue paying her and he wasn't about to let Gibbs pick up his tab. At that point in his life, Tony had simply wanted everyone to forget about him, but the Marine had been unrelenting; Gibbs had tried to be his anchor, but he had cut the rope in hopes that the older man would move forward with his life.

"Yeah," Tony sighed, his voice betraying the pain and discomfort he was feeling. He was beginning to wonder if there was anywhere on his body that didn't hurt. "Can't sleep. Too much on…my mind."

"Want me to call the nurse?"

Tony shook his head, wincing against the pain that the simple action had caused; as tempting as it was to be drugged into oblivion once again, he had to remain in control. "No. I need to be able to think."

He watched Gibbs pull up a chair beside his bed and sit down. Tony noticed how tired his former mentor appeared; the past year had obviously been difficult for Gibbs as well. The injured man momentarily mused about what a selfish son of a bitch he was; it was evident in the lines of worry that had seemingly taken up permanent residence on his friend's face, that Tony's incarceration had been hard on the team leader.

"Don't blame you there," Gibbs said as he took a sip of his steaming brew.

"You'd think…I'd be tired…of thinking. I've done a…lot of that the past…year or so." He silently cursed his battered body; breathing and talking shouldn't be so difficult.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Tony was grateful that Gibbs wasn't pushing him to talk. Even if he had physically felt like talking, he still wouldn't be up to baring his soul to anyone, especially Gibbs; the team leader already knew more than Tony wanted him to and he was not going to willingly add to that knowledge. Talking about his time in prison was the last thing that he wanted to do.

Ever since he was a young child, he had learned to internalize his pain and over the years, he had become quite adept at hiding behind a smile or a quick witted response. The mask he now wore was one of intense privacy. One thing Tony had learned in prison was not to expose his weaknesses and pains to his enemies, but Gibbs_ wasn't_ his enemy; this was the one man in his life who had never stopped believing in him. So, why did he insist on keeping his friend at arm's length?

"I got a hold of Miss Dylan," Gibbs informed him, purposely shattering the awkward silence between them. "She's looking over everything and will come by in the morning; she was pretty excited to hear the news."

"Does she know…that she'll…be working for free?" He knew that he sounded belligerent, but Tony had a difficult time believing that people were trying to help him. Tony despised the fact that he was so wary of everyone; he wondered if he was doomed to be so suspicious of others the rest of his life.

"I didn't have to say a word; she insisted on it," the team leader replied. "She said she was looking forward to shoving this new evidence down the D.A.'s throat."

Tony nodded as he closed his eyes. He could hear Taylor saying that. She definitely didn't like to lose and now that she held the upper hand and was ready to make everyone else fold. "Okay," he whispered. He heard a noise and opened his eyes to see Gibbs laying a book on the nightstand; the agent was obviously planning to stay for a while. Reflexively, Tony said, "You don't…have to stay, Gibbs. I'll be fine."

"I know I don't. I just thought I'd hang around; figured you eventually might want a few answers."

He quietly laughed to himself. A few answers. Tony definitely needed answers, but he wasn't sure which of the hundreds of questions running through his mind that he should ask first. He still wasn't in the mood to hold a lengthy conversation, but maybe Gibbs would be able to tell him why Sterling set him up. Tony quietly decided that as long as the agent didn't want him to expand upon what he had endured during his time in prison that he would listen to what Gibbs had to say. "I guess…I do; I'm just not sure what…to ask."

"That's understandable; we're still putting together the pieces ourselves."

Tony knew all too well the pain staking process of making a rock solid case and he knew that Gibbs was making sure that everything was in order to secure his freedom. "I'm having a hard…time convincing myself that this isn't…a dream and that I'm going to…wake up and be back in…prison."

"You're not going back there."

Gibbs had already told him this once, but he still wasn't ready to accept it as fact. "Don't make promises, Gibbs; especially when you're not sure you can keep them." He instantly regretted the words as soon as they had escaped his lips; a sense of déjà vu crept over Tony as he recalled saying something similar to the agent during one of their few visits right after he had been sentenced. The team leader had continually promised him that he would get him out of prison; it had taken a while, but he had kept his word. He should never have doubted Gibbs.

"You're _not_ going back there, DiNozzo," Gibbs forcibly repeated.

"Sorry," Tony mumbled. "I didn't…mean that the…way it sounded."

The younger man knew Gibbs had forgiven him before he could utter an apology. "It's all right," Gibbs assured him. "I guess you have every reason to doubt me, but I'm not going to let you down again."

"You never…have, Gibbs. I've let myself down; I…" Tony blew out a long breath. This wasn't the direction that he had envisioned their conversation taking; he wasn't ready to delve into his damaged psyche. "I just want to…know why. Why did Chip…set me up? I don't even…know him. Do I?"

"You busted the lab he worked at; cost him his job."

Tony's eyes narrowed as disbelief and confusion briefly overwhelmed him. "Are you freakin'…kiddin' me?"

"No. He worked at the same lab as George Stewart; seems that he collaborated with Stewart to frame you. Sterling covered his tracks pretty well, but Abby discovered some discrepancies and needless to say, we put two and two together and…"

"The rest…is history," Tony finished. The bitterness in his voice surprised even him. He clenched his jaw as he struggled to tamp down the anger that was threatening to erupt within him. "I uh…" Tony couldn't trust himself to speak; if he did, then Gibbs would discover his colorful vocabulary that he had learned in prison.

"We've got enough to convict him, Tony," Gibbs continued. "We're also going after Carl Banks and the Warden. They've got a lot to answer for."

He remembered Gibbs telling him about the Warden and Banks, but until now, he truly hadn't processed that bit of information. Tony cleared his throat. "Banks. He was one of…the guards."

"Yep. He's also Sterling's brother-in-law."

"That's convenient. Keeping…it in the family, huh?"

He didn't give Gibbs a chance to reply. "You sure the…Warden wasn't related to Chip? I mean, he literally brushed…everything under…the rug. Phillips looked…the other way every time I was…" Tony swallowed hard. "I _knew_ he…was crooked. I actually tried…to lodge a complaint…against Banks and the others but…" A string of expletives flew from his mouth; he could no longer contain the rage that begged for release. His time in prison had changed him. He had been forced to adapt to a life he was never prepared for; Tony had been forced to undergo a physical and mental transformation, creating a hardened and bitter version of the man everyone once considered to be the class clown.

Noting Gibbs' expression, Tony knew that he probably should be embarrassed by his language, but he really didn't care. He had stopped caring a long time ago. He gripped the railing of his bed as he desperately fought the urge to hit something or somebody. Part of Tony despised the fact that violence had become part of his nature, but prison was survival of the fittest and Tony had managed to survive. "Sons of bitches," he mumbled to himself.

"Can't argue with you there," Gibbs said. The team leader poured Tony a cup of ice water and gave it to him. "I see you expanded your vocabulary in prison."

Releasing the railing, Tony took the cup and nodded his thanks as he attempted to ignore the tremors that seemed to periodically rack his body. The combination of pain coupled with the added stress of the past few hours were wreaking havoc on his mind and body. "I guess so," he replied, his jaw clenched tightly as he bit back the sharp retort on the tip of his tongue. It was going to take some getting used to the fact that he wasn't in prison; yes, he had definitely changed and not necessarily for the better.

"You're going to need to get control of that," Gibbs stated.

"Yeah, I know." What else could he say? Tony knew that Gibbs still expected him to act as his senior field agent; he was supposed to be an upstanding citizen and role model, but all that had changed. He was no longer Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo; he was a soon to be former convict who had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do with the rest of his life.

"Probably got several things…I'm going to have to get…control of," he mumbled to himself, almost forgetting that Gibbs was still sitting by his side.

"Take it a day at a time, Tony. That's all you can do."

"I'm tired, Gibbs. I'm so fu…" Tony blew out a breath. "I'm tired. I think I'm going…to try and…get some sleep." He really didn't want to sleep, but it was the only excuse he could think of at the moment so he wouldn't have to talk.

"Don't try and do this alone, Tony," Gibbs warned. "You've got a lot of people in your corner."

Tony shook his head. When was Gibbs going to learn to back off? "Sorry, Gibbs; I'm not…in the mood for…another pep talk. I just…want to sleep."

His weary gaze followed Gibbs as he stood up and leaned over him; the fact that he had a concussion had probably just saved him from a head slap. "I want you to listen to me, DiNozzo," he demanded. "I don't give pep talks; I just tell the truth. I know you've got a lot to deal with, but I'm going to be right beside you. You're not pushing me or any of your friends away this time. Do I make myself clear?"

There was a time that he would simply acknowledge Gibbs with a "Yes, Boss," and would do his best to accommodate the team leader. It had only taken a few beatings before he realized that backing down only added to his pain and he had learned to fight back. Of course, most of the time, the odds were stacked against him and he usually had the crap beaten out of him anyway, but at least he hadn't gone down willingly.

Tony struggled to sit up. He gasped as waves of agony shot through his body, quickly reminding him that he was far from healed. His insides still felt like they had been scrambled; his pain had quickly escalated from dull and constant to nearly unbearable. Strong hands guided him back down to the bed as he attempted to slow his breathing down. "That's it, Tony. Take it easy," Gibbs pleaded.

The younger man closed his eyes against the pain as he ignored the commotion that was now surrounding him. He could hear a couple of nurses talking to Gibbs while simultaneously trying to soothe him; it was obvious that they weren't very happy with his former boss. Within a couple of seconds, he felt a wave of relief wash over him as whatever medication that his nurse had given him began to take effect forcing him to give up any urge that he had to stay awake.

He hated being drugged; it meant that he didn't have any control and that was a feeling that he despised. A calloused hand brushed against his forehead; Gibbs was whispering something in his ear, but all his muddled brain allowed him tounderstand was the soft spoken apology coming from the older man. "Sorry, Tony. "

Tony barely nodded as darkness claimed him. Maybe when he woke up, things would make more sense to him; then again, nothing had made sense for the last year of his life.

**Darn real life! That's the only reason I have for making you all wait so long. My humblest apologies and for those that are patiently waiting…thank you and I hope that the post is worth it. You're getting to see bit by bit the effects that prison had on Tony and how difficult it's going to be to reclaim his life. Hope you enjoyed the post. **

**I also hope that everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving and are gearing up for Christmas! Don't worry! I will still be writing! Thank you all again for your loyalty and support!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Part 12**

Gibbs had lost count of how many cups of coffee he had consumed in the past few hours as he continued his bedside vigil. Despite DiNozzo's insistence on being tired and supposedly wanting to go to rest, it had taken him a while to truly give up the battle for sleep. The team leader had allowed Tony to continue in his ruse until he finally drifted off; he knew that his former agent was overwhelmed by everything that had happened and needed time and space to process everything. Truthfully, Gibbs needed this time as well. Time had finally slowed enough for him to catch his breath and consider what still needed to be done.

Of course, his next step would depend on what Tony's attorney had to say. He knew she was trying to meet with a judge to present the new evidence that had been collected; she was also going to also ask for Tony to be released into his custody until a new hearing could be arranged. Gibbs hadn't revealed this to DiNozzo just yet; even though he had promised Tony that he wasn't going back to prison, the Marine figured that it wasn't a good idea to get his hopes up yet.

Hope. Hope was something that had been nonexistent for quite a while; it was evident that Tony had lost faith not only in himself, but the justice system and everyone around him. If Gibbs were honest with himself, he had lost hope as well. The confidence that he had possessed during the early days of the investigation had waned and he had become discouraged; his dark mood spilling over into every aspect of his life. Work had lost its zeal and his personal time had been dedicated to running down leads; he had neglected his hobbies and the boat he had been building had remained untouched for a year. Now, for the first time in a long time, he could permit himself to feel a modicum of optimism.

His gaze was riveted to the rise and fall of Tony's chest. Gibbs was grateful that DiNozzo no longer had to be on the respirator, but his breathing was still a little ragged. The bruises that adorned the younger man's face were deepening and would more than likely look worse before they looked better. The physical wounds would heal, possibly leaving a few scars; it was the emotional wounds that would take a long time to heal, if they truly ever did.

He had vowed to help Tony every step of the way and he would do everything within his power to keep his word. Gibbs also knew it wasn't going to be easy; Tony had a lot of demons to conquer and because of DiNozzo's penchant for wanting to be alone, the odds were not in their favor. "You're going to have to help me out here, DiNozzo," he whispered.

Gibbs stood up and walked over to the window. Part of him wanted Tony to wake up so they could talk some more and part of him was glad that he was sleeping. He wondered when was the last time DiNozzo had been the recipient of a good night's sleep; after discovering what had happened to him in prison, there wasn't a doubt in Gibbs' mind that Tony had been forced to sleep with one eye open.

He was forced back to the present by the sound of several familiar voices filtering down the hall. "Damn," Gibbs muttered under his breath as he strode over to the door. Stepping out into the corridor, he pulled the door behind him as he met the trio approaching Tony's room. He understood their desire to see DiNozzo, but he also knew that this was definitely not a good time.

The team leader knew that Tony probably wasn't ready to be bombarded with well-meaning visitors, even if they were friends. DiNozzo had not only isolated himself from Gibbs, but from everyone else on the team; it would take some time before the younger man would be comfortable around his friends again. Truthfully, Gibbs wasn't even convinced that Tony wanted him around, but DiNozzo was tolerating his presence—at least for the moment.

He nodded to the guard who was still stationed outside of Tony's room, silently indicating that he would handle his team. Ever since their first altercation, the officer had been much more amenable to Gibbs' comings and goings; hopefully if Tony's lawyer was successful, the guard's services would no longer be necessary. Turning his attention back to McGee, Ziva, and Abby, he mentally braced himself for the battle that was about to ensue; they weren't going to be happy with what he had to say, but they had to understand that they were going to have to tread lightly around Tony. DiNozzo didn't trust anyone, including him, and it was going to take time to rebuild what had been lost.

"Gibbs!" Abby excitedly exclaimed, gracing him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Abs," he quietly replied. "What are you all doing here?"

"We came to see Tony!"

"We thought he could stand seeing a few more friendly faces," Ziva added.

"Not that yours isn't friendly, Gibbs," Abby quickly interjected. "But, sometimes…well, you know what I mean. Besides, we want to let him know that we're here for him."

Under any other circumstance, Gibbs knew that Tony would appreciate the sentiment, but so much had changed in the last year. Seeing DiNozzo would be nothing short of a shock to them; he knew because it had been for him. He looked nothing like the Tony DiNozzo that they knew. Even though his body was battered, it was still obvious that he was much more toned that he used to be, his hair was longer, and his eyes were cold, lacking the warmth and sincerity they used to possess.

"I'm sure he already knows that, Abs," Gibbs stated. "He's asleep right now; maybe you guys can come back later." He hoped that Abby took the hint, but he had a feeling that her desire to talk to DiNozzo was going to influence her judgment.

"We won't stay long and we won't wake him up, Gibbs. We just want to see him. It's been a long time and…"

He gave the scientist a hug and kissed her on the forehead. "I know, Abby. Give him a few more days; he's still pretty weak."

"A few more days? Gibbs, please. Just let us see him for a minute," she pleaded. "We'll even go in one at a time!"

"How's he doing, Boss?" McGee asked, providing Gibbs with a brief distraction.

"He's pretty weak, but I guess that's to be expected. Along with a severe concussion, he's got some broken ribs and a broken wrist; his shoulder and knee are messed up and he had some internal bleeding, but they managed to stop that. Between his injuries and everything that's happened, Tony's feeling a bit confused."

"All the more reasons he needs to see his friends," Abby pointed out.

"Abby, not now," he repeated, his tone sharper than he normally used with the young woman. The last thing that he wanted to do was hurt Abby's feelings, but right now, his priority was Tony and making sure that he wasn't too overwhelmed as he was slowly reintroduced into the life that he had left behind.

"But Gibbs…"

Abby's pleas were interrupted by a crash coming from Tony's room. Gibbs pushed past the officer and rushed into the room to find DiNozzo struggling to sit up and everything on the table beside him was on the floor. Monitors were blaring as Tony looked prepared to fight; his dark gaze was scoping out the room as the anger etched in his bruised features finally gave way to confusion. The team leader rushed over to the bedside, silenced the alarm, and helped Tony lay back down.

"Take it easy, DiNozzo," Gibbs quietly urged as a nurse entered the room. He watched the young lady check Tony's IV's and vital signs.

After a few minutes, the nurse seemed satisfied that overall, Tony was all right. "You're a little clammy and your vitals are a little elevated, but I don't think that there's any new damage. The doctor will make his rounds within the hour, so he can follow up and make sure you're doing okay. Did you have nightmare?" the nurse asked.

"No," Tony hastily answered. "Just tried to reach my water and…knocked it off."

Gibbs knew that Tony was lying, but was not about to call him on it while the nurse was still in the room. The Marine knew all too well the signs of a nightmare; aside from his vital signs, the wild eyed expression and the thin sheen of sweat dotting DiNozzo's forehead was a dead giveaway.

"All right," she conceded. "I'll get someone in here to clean this up and get you a fresh pitcher of water."

Tony nodded his thanks, his wary gaze following the nurse as she left his room. Gibbs moved back to his side. "Sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine."

He could tell by DiNozzo's strained voice that he was in pain. "Tony, I…"

"I just knocked my damn water off!" Tony snapped. "Just…let it go, Gibbs."

The agent wished that Tony still trusted him enough to open up to him; it was going to be a long time to rebuild what had been shattered by circumstances beyond their control. "I'll listen when you're ready."

Tony visibly bristled. Gibbs glanced over his shoulder to see the guard standing just inside the door, his hand on the hilt of his gun. "Everything all right in here, Agent Gibbs?" the officer asked.

The agent sensed the combination of fear and rage radiating from DiNozzo. The appearance of the uniformed officer had clearly upset him. He hoped that Tony didn't feel like Gibbs was going back on his word and that he was going to have to go back to prison. "What's he doing here?" the injured man wanted to know.

"He's leaving," Gibbs assured him. "He won't be around much longer; as soon as your lawyer gives the word."

Thankfully, the guard didn't offer a protest as he hurried out of the room. Gibbs turned his attention back to Tony, who was desperately trying to bring his emotions back under his control. The silence between them was awkward, but the team leader had to take things slow; he suddenly found himself thankful for his sniper training where patience had been instilled in him. During the present moments of forced solitude, housekeeping had cleaned up the floor and the nurse had brought him a new pitcher of water. Gibbs poured a glass for Tony and held it out to him.

Tony had stared at him and then at the glass as if he were deciding if he could accept it or not. "It's just water, Tony," Gibbs said.

DiNozzo shakily took the glass with his good hand, prompting Gibbs to help him. He took a sip and indicated that he didn't want anymore. "Thanks," Tony mumbled.

"You're welcome."

Tony's eyes were now fixed on the ceiling. "I uh…I was dreaming," the young man began. "I was dreaming about…

Gibbs muttered a curse under his breath as a knock at the door interrupted Tony. There wasn't a doubt in his mind who was at the door. He had a feeling that Tony was actually going to talk to him and now, that opportunity was more than likely lost due to the inability of his team to follow orders. Gibbs walked over to the door, purposefully blocking Abby from entering the room.

"Abby, I told you this wasn't a good time," he reminded the young woman.

"Please, just a few minutes, Gibbs," she pleaded.

"No, Abby!"

She was once again taken back by his gruffness, which prompted her to venture down a different path. "Would you at least ask him if he wants to see us? Let him make the decision."

"And if he says no?"

"We'll leave."

Gibbs blew out a frustrated breath. "Stay here." He had a feeling that he was about to make a huge mistake; this was too much too soon. However, so much had been taken away from Tony and he was not about to take away DiNozzo's right to make his own decisions.

He closed the door and approached Tony's bedside once again. "Hey, Tony?"

"What?"

"Abby, McGee, and Ziva are…"

Tony didn't give him an opportunity to finish his sentence. "No."

"They just want to see you for a few minutes."

"I said no," Tony repeated through clenched teeth. "I don't want to see them."

He nodded at the expected response. "I'll tell them." Gibbs was not going to push Tony on the issue of seeing his friends. At least now, he could honestly tell Abby that it was DiNozzo's decision.

Gibbs walked back over to his team. He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. "He said no."

Defeated, Abby leaned against McGee, who put his arm around the scientist. "It's okay, Abby," Tim soothed. "He just needs some time."

Gibbs was grateful that McGee seemed to be able to soothe Abby. The two had a special relationship and he knew that their friendship would continue to evolve into something much more. Reluctantly, Abby handed Gibbs the gift bag she had been holding. "Can you give this to Tony?"

"Yeah," he answered, taking the bag. "I promise I'll let you know when you can see him. It won't be forever, Abs."

"I know. I just…I was responsible for sending him to prison and I…"

"And _you_ were responsible for getting him out. He knows that. Just give him time."

Abby nodded and Gibbs placed another kiss on her forehead. "I'll call you later," he vowed.

He watched as the trio slowly made their way down the hallway. As Gibbs turned to go back into Tony's room, he glared at the officer still stationed outside the door. "You were going to let them in," he observed.

"Well, I…uh…wasn't," the guard stammered, "but that crazy chick with the accent threatened to…"

Gibbs inwardly smiled. Ziva certainly had a way with people. "No excuses, Officer. You're supposed to be standing guard, not giving in to the demand of beautiful women."

He didn't wait for the guard's response as he walked back into Tony's room. The tension that was emanating from the other man was palpable. "They're gone," he announced.

"Good."

"You can't avoid them forever."

DiNozzo's only response was a noncommittal grunt. Gibbs saw that Tony's sheet was wadded up in his fist and his jaw was still firmly clenched. He glanced up at the monitors to check his vital signs. They were still too high; the team leader recognized the fact that Tony was doing his best to not give in to the pain that was obviously consuming him.

Gibbs set the bag down that Abby had given him on the foot of the bed. He pushed the call button for the nurse; he couldn't stand to see the son of his heart suffering. "Why didn't you say something, Tony? You can't get better if you're constantly fighting against the pain."

"Had…worse," he gasped. "Need…the pain."

"What? That's crazy, Tony. I'm not going to let you lie here in pain."

Tony let out a string of expletives. Gibbs refused to back down from the harsh glare that DiNozzo was now directing towards him. "It's…my choice…Gibbs."

He wanted Tony to have the freedom to make his choices, but not at the expense of his health. The agent was going to have to live with his hypocrisy. "Not this time, Tony," Gibbs said as the nurse entered once again. "He's in a lot of pain."

"I've been watching his monitor from the nurse's station," she informed him. "He's due for his meds; I'll go and get them and page the doctor and see if I can hurry him up."

"Thank you."

Gibbs placed his calloused hand on top of Tony's and was more than surprised when Tony latched onto it. He realized that because of the pian, DiNozzo probably wasn't even aware of what he was doing, but, Gibbs would take what he could get. "Hang on, Tony."

The team leader continued his mantra as the nurse left and returned with his pain medicine. Within a few minutes, the pinched expression that Tony had been wearing began to ease as the medicine took effect. It didn't escape his notice that DiNozzo still hadn't let go of his hand. He had failed him so many times over the past year that it felt good to be able to do something for Tony, no matter how small.

The vibration of his cell phone disrupted the moment. He pulled out the phone and glanced at the caller ID; it was Tony's attorney and it was the call he'd been waiting for. Fortunately, the doctor entered and motioned for Gibbs to step aside. "I'll be right back, Tony," he promised.

As soon as he was out in the hall, he answered, "Gibbs." The agent listened carefully as Tony's lawyer gave him the news that he wanted to hear. The judge was reopening the case and had granted Gibbs custody of Tony; that meant that DiNozzo was not going to have to go back to prison. The only bad part was that he was going to have to go and sign some papers for Tony's release; he didn't like the thought of leaving DiNozzo alone, but hopefully he would sleep while he was gone.

He slipped his phone back in his pocket and stepped back inside the room. The doctor was just finishing with his examination and Tony appeared to have drifted off to sleep. "How is he?"

"He's doing all right," the physician stated. "Tomorrow I'm going to take another x-ray of his knee to see if we need to do surgery; the knee is looking better, so I hope we can dodge that ball. As long as we can stay on top of his pain, in time, he'll be fine."

Gibbs nodded approvingly. "That's good."

"I'll check back in on him before I leave."

The team leader shook the doctor's hand and went over to Tony's side. DiNozzo opened his eyes and closed them again. "Hey Tony," he quietly called out to him. "I've got some good news; Ms. Dylan came through. The judge has agreed to look at your case again."

"Do…I have to go back?" Tony sleepily asked.

"Nope. You're stuck with me."

Tony didn't say anything and Gibbs wasn't sure that the younger man had even heard him. After a few seconds, the agent realized that DiNozzo had drifted off to sleep. "We'll talk later," he promised. When he returned, he would have proof of custody and maybe that would convince Tony that his trust wouldn't be misplaced in the team leader.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Abby had told McGee to take Ziva home and then come back and get her; she had decided to go to make a few visits in the pediatric ward, hoping to take her mind off of Tony. The scientist volunteered at least once a week to come and visit the kids who were in the hospital and now that Tony was about to be exonerated, she hoped to do even more volunteer work.

Once again her thoughts drifted back to her friend. She desperately wanted to see him, but he didn't want to see her. Of course, she couldn't blame him; she had processed the evidence that had sent him to prison and he would probably never forgive her. But then again, he hadn't wanted to see Ziva or McGee either; maybe Gibbs was right and he just wasn't ready to be bombarded with visitors.

She had finally ended up on the hallway where Tony's room was located in time to see Gibbs heading towards the elevator. Abby hurried towards her friend's room in hopes that he would change his mind. She smiled at the guard and asked, "Um, where did Gibbs go?"

"I don't know. He got a phone call and then left soon after," the officer replied.

"So Tony's alone?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I'm just going to go in and say hi."

"I'm not supposed to let anyone but Agent Gibbs and the medical staff in, but…"

Abby took a step closer to the guard. "Do you remember what Ziva said she would do to you? Well, I can hide the evidence so no one will ever find out what happened to you."

"Ma'am. I can't…"

"Please, you don't understand. He's my friend and I'm the one that sent him to prison, but I found the real murderer and now he's going to be set free. I just want to tell him how sorry I am and that I'm going to help him…"

She didn't get a chance to finish her diatribe. "All right!" the officer exclaimed. "But if Gibbs catches you, then…"

"I'll handle Gibbs. He never stays mad at me for long," she pointed out.

"All right, I'm going to go to the nurse's station right over there and get some coffee, so I'm not going to see you go in. Got it?"

"Got it and thank you."

She waited for him to turn his back to her, opened the door and went in Tony's room. As she closed the door behind her, she quietly started walking towards the bed. Abby stopped in her tracks when she got a good look at the man lying in the bed. Bruises littered a rugged face, with hair lying haphazardly on his pillow. The bandages couldn't hide the muscles that had developed over the last year, nor could they disguise the scars that he now bore. This wasn't Tony. It couldn't be. "Oh, my God,Tony!" she whispered. "What have they done to you?"

**Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a great holiday season! I know I did! I was busy, I certainly know that. Took a nice break to be with the kids, but they hogged the computers! So, long story short, took a while to finish my posts. I have updated both stories so I do hope you enjoy them! **

**By the way, I'm the proud mom of an Eagle Scout now! My son received his Eagle Scout rank in December! As always, thank you for your patience and your loyalty! I do appreciate it!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Part 13**

Tony's years as a cop and a NCIS agent had conditioned him to be a light sleeper; although he could fall asleep anytime or anywhere, he was always ready to go whenever duty called. Over the past year, his ability to maintain a state of semi awareness, even under sedation, had saved his life more than once; sleep was a luxury that he couldn't afford and he knew that once he was free, it would take him a long time to realize that he didn't have to sleep with one eye open.

Despite the medication that he had been given earlier, his senses were still heightened; there was someone in the room with him and since he didn't smell the distinctive scent of sawdust and coffee, he knew it wasn't Gibbs. A muffled sob forced him to open his eyes to confirm the identity of his visitor. Tony's gaze fell on Abby—she was one of the last people that he wanted to see.

He truly didn't blame her for producing the condemning evidence that had sent him to prison; she had just been doing her job. Even though the evidence indicated that he was guilty of such a heinous crime, Abby had never doubted his innocence; instead, she had questioned her abilities all the while working tirelessly to disprove the results of the investigation. According to Gibbs, she had been the one to come up with the proof that he was indeed framed, but at the moment, that didn't matter to him. Tony wasn't ready to see any of his former colleagues; it was hard enough having to deal with Gibbs and there wasn't any way he could handle the emotional baggage of his former teammates.

"Abby," he greeted her, his voice low and controlled. "What are you doing here?"

He was beginning to wonder if she had lost her ability to speak. Abby remained planted near the door, obviously wanting to say something, but the words refused to flow from her lips. Tony didn't appreciate her intense scrutiny. He had spent the past year having people watch his every move; between the guards and the other inmates, he had very seldom enjoyed a moment to himself. Even when he was in solitary, the cameras were trained on him, allowing him very little privacy. Tony couldn't help but wonder if this stunned silence that Abby was currently exhibiting was going to be the norm for everybody that he came in contact with; if so, he quickly reached the decision that he would simply continue the life of solitude that had been imposed upon him this past year and avoid people all together.

"I asked you what you're doing here," he tersely repeated.

Abby took a step closer to him. Although he was taken aback by the fear in her eyes; he kept his expression neutral, refusing to show any emotion. Was she truly scared of him? Was that why she had yet to utter one word to him? Had he changed so much that his friends were going to be terrified of him?

"I uh…I wanted to see you," Abby finally managed to reply.

"Well, you've seen me," he snapped. "I guess you can leave."

Abby schooled her porcelain features and shook her head. Taking yet another step, she said, "No, not yet. I've been waiting for…"

Tony grimaced as he shifted slightly. "Gibbs told you that…I didn't want any visitors. That didn't…change just because he left."

"Like I said, I had to see you. I wanted to make sure that you were all right."

"I'm fine." He knew that his brusque behavior was not what Abby expected from him, but he didn't care. He was bitter and he no longer worried about living up to other's expectations; Tony had to look after himself because no one else would.

"You don't look fine," she observed upon reaching his bedside.

Tony hated the sympathetic tone in her voice; he didn't want pity, especially from those who were supposed to be his friends. He was not the man that he used to be and that was a fact that everyone, including himself, had to accept. "Well, I am. Thanks for coming by."

He rolled his eyes as Abby sat down in the chair beside his bed. What did she want from him? Was she here to beg for his forgiveness? He didn't hold her responsible for anything that had happened but he wasn't in the mood to try and assuage her guilty conscience. Why couldn't she just do as he asked and leave him alone?

"Tony, I don't know where to begin," Abby said. "I just wanted to see you so bad and tell you how sorry I am."

Tony closed his eyes to avoid her grief stricken gaze. "None of this is your fault, so don't…waste your breath apologizing." He knew that he had probably hurt Abby's feelings by his sharp retort, but she had refused to acknowledge any of his previous requests to leave. She was so wrapped up in her need for forgiveness that she didn't seem to realize how on edge he was. "Does Gibbs know you're here?"

"No, but I had to see you."

"Yeah, you've already said that." He clenched his jaw, the action further exacerbating the ever present pounding in his head. His body ached but he refused to give in to the pain. It was taking a great deal of energy to maintain his stoic façade and he couldn't afford to show any weakness; it was a lesson that he had learned during this past year that would probably stay with him the rest of his life.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, he opened his eyes and stared at her, his anger brimming dangerously close to the surface. "Why?"

Confused, she asked, "Why, what?"

"Why did you really come? I've already told you that it isn't…your fault I ended up in prison! What more do…you want to hear?"

"I just thought that you would like some company and to see a friendly face."

Tony muttered a string of curses under his breath, not caring if Abby heard him; if she wouldn't acquiesce to his demands to leave him alone then maybe he could drive her away by using more abrupt tactics. He had almost felt a perverse pleasure in seeing her expression of disbelief at the harsh expletives that he had permitted to escape his lips, but a twinge of guilt prevented him from completely enjoying the moment. Tony knew that Abby meant well, but that didn't change the way that he felt about seeing her. "You were wrong on both accounts," he angrily replied.

"But Tony, I just wanted…"

The former agent exploded. He could no longer handle Abby being in the same room with him; she didn't understand why he couldn't welcome her presence and truthfully, he wasn't completely sure as to why her being there troubled him so deeply. Perhaps he was ashamed of what he had become and the things that had been…He pushed the unwanted thoughts away; Tony couldn't allow those memories to resurface. His emotions were raging as tremors wracked his body. "Damn it, Abby! I don't _want_ to see you! I don't _want_ to see anybody! Now, I want _you_ to get the hell…out of my room!"

He cried out in agony, his outburst had left him completely spent. His body felt like it was on fire as he was reminded as to why he was in the hospital; the shrill beeping of his monitor only seemed to further aggravate him. Abby was now standing over him, doing her best to calm him. He jerked away from her touch. "Don't touch me!" he growled. Tony despised close contact with anyone; he had been betrayed too many times by a well meaning gesture and had decided that he was better off keeping his distance from others, both physically and emotionally.

"I'm just trying to help," Abby sobbed.

"Get out!" he gasped. "Just get…out."

"Tony, please," she desperately pleaded.

"What's going on in here?"

Tony heard the nurse order Abby to get out of the way; the next thing he knew, several sets of hands were attempting to hold him down. His memories fought their way to the surface as he struggled against the firm grips of what he perceived to be his assailants; Tony's instincts were telling him to fight and those instincts had saved his life more than once. He heard the commotion around him and it only agitated him further as he tried to push aside the pain that continuously assailed him.

As he fought, he could hear someone else entering his room and begin barking orders. Tony desperately needed to get away from those who were hurting him. He cried out in frustration as the chaos around him became unbearable. A string of curses aimed at his tormentors flowed freely; his venomous words were unrelenting even after he felt a small prick in his arm. He began to feel his body relax and his eyes grow heavy; the all too familiar realization that he had been drugged began to overwhelm him. His words morphed into a barely audible whisper as Tony slowly returned to the present.

The hands that had been holding him down began to loosen their grip as his weary gaze fell on the doctor. "Take it easy, Mr. DiNozzo. I've given you something to help you sleep; you'll feel better when you wake up," the physician promised. Unable to resist the pull of darkness, Tony closed his eyes, the murmurs of those around him lulling him to sleep. There had been a lot of days where he had wished that he simply wouldn't wake up; this was fast becoming one of those days.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs was grateful that Tony's attorney had agreed to meet him at the coffee shop close by so that he could sign the papers placing DiNozzo in his custody. With a flourish of the ink pen, the papers were signed and Tony was one step closer to freedom; at the very least, the young man wasn't going to have to spend his time in prison while waiting for the wheels of justice to turn. Sometimes they turned too slow for the team leader's liking, but he knew that everything had to be in order; the last thing he wanted was for Tony to have to go back to prison and wait for the charges to be overturned because of a technicality.

After grabbing a cup of fresh coffee, he had quickly made his way back to the hospital. Gibbs had been reluctant to leave Tony alone, but aside from having to meet with Tony's lawyer, he had also wanted his friend to rest without the added pressure of being watched. Over the past year, DiNozzo's every movement had been under intense scrutiny and he wanted Tony to realize that he had some control over his life. Gibbs knew that it would take a long time for his former agent to regain his balance and feel like he had some semblance of normalcy; he just hoped that everyone gave Tony the chance to get his feet under him before he was bombarded with good intentions.

As he rounded the corner, he came face to face with Abby, whose tear stained face and quiet sobs betrayed her. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that she had been to see Tony and her visit had not lived up to her expectations. She had gone against his specific instructions and waited until he had left before she went to see DiNozzo; the fact that she didn't heed his suggestion angered him. Tony had enough to deal with; he didn't need to ride the emotional roller coaster that Abby had been on the past year.

"What are you doing here, Abby?" he demanded to know, his callous tone reflecting the rage that was bursting at the seams.

She wiped away a stray tear as she looked back towards Tony's room. "I uh…I wanted to see Tony and I thought…"

He visibly bristled. "No, you didn't think, Abby! I told you that Tony wasn't ready for visitors and what do you do? You go and see him! Why couldn't you just listen to me?"

Gibbs couldn't believe that she had the nerve to look surprised by his reaction. "But Gibbs…I just wanted…"

He raked his hand through his hair, his frustration exacerbated by her attempts at defending her actions. "_You _wanted? This isn't about _you_, Abby!"

"But Gibbs…" the scientist tried to protest.

"I don't want to hear your excuses! I want to know what was so important that you couldn't wait a few days until Tony was ready!"

"I don't know! I just wanted to tell him I was sorry!" Abby blurted out.

"And how'd that go for you?"

"It didn't. He got upset and…"

The knot in his gut pulled tighter. The fact that Tony had been pushed to his emotional limits was not what he wanted to hear. Before he could offer another reprimand, he spotted the doctor coming out of Tony's room. "We'll finish this later." Gibbs pushed by Abby and hastily made his way down the corridor to intercept the physician.

"Dr. Neal," Gibbs called out. "What's going on?"

The doctor stopped in mid-stride and turned to face the team leader; judging by the expression on Neal's faced, he wasn't happy with the latest developments. "Let's go somewhere so we can have some privacy," the physician suggested.

Gibbs nodded and started to follow Dr. Neal. He spared a glance at the guard who was still stationed outside Tony's room; the younger man couldn't even look him in the eye. "You're relieved of your duty; DiNozzo is in _my_ custody now."

"Yes sir," the officer nervously replied. "I'll inform my superior and…"

"He's already been informed." Thankfully, Tony's attorney had already taken care of those details.

The team leader didn't give the officer a chance to say anything else. Truthfully, he didn't want to hear whatever excuses the guard had to offer; his main concern was Tony and the effect that Abby's visit had on him. Gibbs was still having a hard time believing that Abby had gone behind his back; he knew she meant well, but the Marine still felt a sense of betrayal.

Pushing these feelings aside, he followed Dr. Neal into his office. As soon as the door shut, Gibbs asked the doctor, "What the hell happened?"

The doctor shook his head in frustration. "I'm not sure," Neal admitted. "When I got to Mr. DiNozzo's room, he was fighting the nurses; I think he was caught up in some kind of flashback, but I'm not sure what set it off."

Gibbs had a very good idea what, or more appropriately, _who_, was the catalyst for Tony's flashback. "He had an unplanned visitor," he replied through clenched teeth.

"I gathered as much. This…unplanned visitor caused him a lot of distress. I had to sedate him," Dr. Neal stated. "I really didn't want to, but he was in danger of hurting himself; he pulled out his IV and was trying to get out of bed. The nurses were trying to hold him down and that just made him fight back even harder; quite frankly, I was surprised by his strength. I guess his adrenaline kicked in. I was honestly afraid he was going to reopen those knife wounds."

"Is he all right, now?" Gibbs was haunted by the visual image of Tony battling what he believed to be his attackers. How many times had he been forced to fight for his life while he was in prison? The team leader had read his records, but he wasn't so naïve as to believe that every altercation and every bruise had been reported.

"He's asleep; it'll be a while before he'll wake up," Dr. Neal replied.

"You don't know DiNozzo."

"Maybe not, but I know that I gave him a pretty strong sedative. That, on top of the pain medicine that he had a little earlier ought to keep him out for a few hours. Trust me, he needs the rest."

Considering that Tony had spent the last year always looking over his shoulder, Gibbs didn't dispute the doctor's statement. "Yeah, I know. I'm gonna go sit with him; make sure he doesn't have any more unnecessary visitors."

"He really doesn't need any more surprises," Dr. Neal conceded, "but you need to keep in mind that _your_ presence may be…upsetting to him as well."

Gibbs glared at the physician. He didn't appreciate what Dr. Neal was inferring; the Marine was having a difficult time believing that _his _company was detrimental to Tony's well-being.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, his jaw clenched tightly. Gibbs wasn't sure if he wanted to hear Neal's explanation.

"I'm not trying to piss you off, Agent Gibbs, but I've been keeping tabs on Mr. DiNozzo's vitals. You should be aware of the fact that when you're around, his blood pressure and heart rate become elevated; nothing like it was just a few minutes ago, but, your constant presence is wearing on him as well. I get the distinct feeling that Mr. DiNozzo would be completely satisfied if he were left alone."'

"You're probably right, but I can't do that," Gibbs admitted, feelings of hypocrisy coming over him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hard on Abby; then again, she had gone against Tony's personal wishes and unwittingly taken away what little control he had been permitted. But, Dr. Neal did have a point. Although Tony had yet to kick him out, he was still guarded around the team leader; Gibbs knew it was going to be a long time before DiNozzo allowed anyone a glimpse behind that concrete wall that he had erected during the past year.

"You may have to at some point," the doctor stated. "There will come a time when you're going to have to back off and let him get his feet under him; just be willing to give him some space when he needs it."

"Sounds like you speak from experience, Doc."

Dr. Neal shrugged. "Let's just say, I've been where you are. You want to help and he needs your help but until he asks for it, you're going to have to take it slow. If you push him, then you might lose him forever."

Gibbs nodded. He realized that the doctor was sharing something personal with him and respecting the man's right to privacy, the Marine didn't press him for details. Gibbs could probably fill in some of the blanks, but he really didn't need to; Dr. Neal was entitled to keep his demons at bay. "I'll sit with him while he's sleeping and when he wakes up, I'll ask him what he wants," he promised. "I'm not gonna lose him, especially over something as trivial as my pride."

The physician seemed pleased by Gibbs' willingness to listen. "Good," he replied. "I'll check on him a little later."

The agent quietly nodded his thanks and made his way back towards Tony's room. Exhaustion crept over him as he considered getting a few hours of sleep; if Tony was as heavily sedated as the doctor claimed, stealing a few winks shouldn't be a problem. He slowed as he neared Tony's door, not bothering to hide his irritation at the fact that Abby was still hanging around.

"Go home, Abs," he gruffly instructed.

"Gibbs, I'm sorry; I shouldn't have…"

"No, you shouldn't have. Now, go home."

"Will you tell Tony that I'm sorry?"

He wanted to be angry with her, truthfully, he _was _angry with her. Gibbs didn't have the time or the desire to coddle her; he wanted her to truly understand the consequences of what she had done. There would come a time when Tony would need her and the others, but just as Dr. Neal had pointed out to him, DiNozzo would have to make the first move.

"You can tell him…when Tony's ready to hear it."

"But, when will that be?"

Gibbs glanced at Tony's door and then back to Abby. "I don't know; we're just going to have to be patient."

He watched Abby slowly make her way down the corridor towards the elevator. After she was out of sight, Gibbs blew out the breath he'd inadvertently been holding and reached for Tony's door. The team leader stepped inside the room and quietly closed the door behind him. He stared at the sleeping form in the bed; Gibbs could tell by his even breathing that Tony was indeed, actually asleep. It was the first time since this nightmare began that he remembered DiNozzo appearing to be at peace. Of course, Gibbs also knew that this moment wouldn't last forever; he had learned a long time ago that time stood still for no one.

**I deeply apologize for the wait…between sharing the laptop and trying to plan an Eagle Scout Ceremony, my writing time has been limited. But the good news is that I have updated both stories! I'm kind of nervous about this post because of Gibbs' response to Abby…I do hope the characterizations stayed true. I mean, how often does Gibbs get truly mad at Abby? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the post and I do appreciate your patience and support. **


	14. Chapter 14

_**I want to apologize for the delay. I had a couple of minor health issues that I had to deal with but I am doing fine now. Hopefully, things will be back to semi-normal now. **____** Anyway, I do hope you enjoy the post and I do hope that my absence hasn't caused too much of an inconvenience to my readers. I appreciate the support and encouragement. Now, for your reading pleasure…**_

**Part 14**

Darkness surrounded him as he tried to push his way through the void that was holding him captive. Tony would have been perfectly content to stay in such a blissful state of unawareness but he also knew that in doing so, he could possibly be signing his death warrant. His survival instincts urged him to fight against the effects of the sedation; he couldn't afford to let his guard down, even when he knew that he was safe. Tony had a feeling that it would be a long time before he would ever truly feel safe; he couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be able to walk down the street without looking over his shoulder.

His eyes fluttered open and came to rest on the figure sitting in the chair beside his bed. Gibbs. Tony blew out a slow breath; he wasn't in the mood for company, but the agent wasn't going to be as easy to dissuade as Abby had been. DiNozzo now classified himself as a loner and was determined to keep his distance from everyone, including his friends; they didn't understand that he had changed during this past year and that he couldn't be the man that they once knew and truthfully, he wasn't sure he wanted to be that man anymore. It was obvious that something had been wrong with the old Tony DiNozzo; everyone had seemed to readily accept that he could possibly commit such a heinous crime, convincing him that there had to be something in his personality that would warrant such betrayal.

"The doctor figured you'd be out for at least six more hours," Gibbs stated, prompting Tony to abandon his few moments of silent contemplation.

Forced to acknowledge the team leader's presence, Tony tiredly replied, "Can't afford to be…out too long. It's a good…way to end up dead."

He had to give Gibbs credit for his ability to quickly school his features, managing to hide his troubled expression that his words evoked. Although the team leader knew a great deal of what had happened to him in prison, his last revelation seemed to deepen the guilt that the Marine seemed to be carrying. Truthfully, Tony was angry at himself for disclosing that bit of personal information; one of these days, he would learn to keep his mouth shut.

"You're safe now, Tony," Gibbs tried to assure him.

"Yeah."

What else could he say? Gibbs wanted him to believe that he was safe from harm, but Tony knew he would always have his doubts. If he wanted to continue to survive, he was going to have to keep the walls that he had erected around his emotions firmly in place; the task would be difficult but he had no choice but to handle his doubts and fears alone.

The sound of Gibbs clearing his throat once again forced him out of his musings. He met the other man's steadfast gaze and felt a sliver of gratitude in that there wasn't any hint of pity in the Marine's eyes. Tony didn't need anyone's sympathy; like he had told Abby, he had no intentions of handling anyone else's baggage.

"How're you feeling?" the older man asked.

"Fine." It was a lie and he was aware that Gibbs knew that he wasn't telling the truth. Actually, he hurt like hell, but he wasn't going to take the chance on being drugged once again. His pain relief or lack thereof was one of the few things that he could control and he wasn't about to let anyone take that from him.

"Still look a little pale to me," the team leader informed him.

"I've had a…rough day." That was an understatement; the whole last year had been a nightmare and today's events had simply added to the string of hard days that he had experienced since his life had been turned upside down.

"I'm sorry about Abby. She really screwed up."

Tony was surprised that Gibbs wasn't offering excuses for the scientist. It was no secret that he adored Abby and constantly overlooked things that would have earned anyone else a head slap. Now it appeared that the Marine was actually holding her responsible for her actions and Tony couldn't help but think that it was about time; it was time that someone else felt the Marine's ire. For so many years, he had accepted the brunt of Gibbs' wrath and most of the time, he did so without protest; Tony knew that his former mentor had always seemingly held him to a higher standard than the other team members and this was reason enough to readily accept the blame when something went wrong.

"She must have really…pissed you off," he observed. "Things aren't usually…her fault."

Gibbs shrugged. "I guess she did. I told her that you weren't ready for visitors and she didn't respect your wishes; I say that she got what she deserved."

Once again, Tony wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Ignoring the awkward silence between them, he decided to take the opportunity to reposition his aching body; he felt defenseless simply lying in bed knowing that he had to be ready for anything. Tony flinched when Gibbs stood up and reached out to help him; his aversion to being touched was just another thing that had changed this past year.

"Sorry," Gibbs mumbled as he took a step back, giving Tony the space he needed.

"You just startled me," Tony replied, a bit too quickly. He was both frustrated and embarrassed by his reaction. Gibbs would never hurt him, but his inability to trust the man who had been his friend and mentor gnawed at him.

"It's all right, Tony," the older man soothed. "It's going to take time."

Time. Time was something that he had an abundance of, but yet, there never seemed to be enough of it. Tony closed his eyes and took a few seconds to gather his thoughts; he had to pull himself together and regain control. Even though Gibbs' mere presence was providing him an outlet to talk, he wasn't ready to take it; he wasn't sure if he would ever be ready to talk about his time in prison. Instead, he found himself quickly redirecting the conversation away from that dark period in his life. Tony quickly searched his muddled thoughts for what they had been talking about. "So, I guess I gave Abby a good scare."

Thankfully, Gibbs seemed to take the hint as he sat back down. "I think so, but I wouldn't worry about it."

"I'm not."

"I think you've got enough to deal with; they can wait until _you're_ ready."

"Whenever that may be," Tony mumbled.

"No pressure."

Tony averted his gaze and stared out the window. He took a deep breath and blew it out, unsuccessfully hiding a grimace. This time Gibbs didn't try and offer any kind of physical comfort, the team leader simply watched and waited for him to put his mask back on. Tony was grateful that Gibbs apparently understood his desperate need for space. The team leader used to always know exactly what he needed; sometimes it would be a head slap or an evening eating steak and drinking beer after a trying case, but whatever it was, it was always enough. After he went to prison, Tony had purposefully cut off all ties to his friends, wanting to spare them any more heartache, but it had been a lonely existence; maybe it wasn't so bad having Gibbs back in his life again.

"You takin' up permanent residence here?" Tony asked, his gaze remaining fixed to the blue skies, wondering if he was truly going to taste freedom again.

"Nope," Gibbs replied. "Just visiting."

"You don't have to stay."

"I know I don't. Do you want me to leave?"

Tony was momentarily taken back by Gibbs' response. He wasn't expecting the older man to be as agreeable as to what he wanted; it had been a long time since he had been given a choice in anything. "You'd leave?"

"If you want me to."

There wasn't any deception in Gibbs' voice; the team leader had never lied to him and Tony knew that he wasn't about to start. Perhaps that was why the urge to be alone was quickly dissipating; the knowledge that Gibbs would leave whenever he asked provided him with a sense of control that he had been denied for so long. "You can stay," Tony rasped.

"All right," Gibbs quietly conceded.

Tony quietly resumed his vigil; if he had any worldly possessions, he would gladly give them up to breathe in true freedom. Although he had been permitted to go outside an hour a day, Tony was still a prisoner; the air had always seemed to carry the stench of decay and death, constantly reminding him of the existence he was condemned to live.

"Want to go outside?" the Marine inquired.

He carefully turned his head and stared at Gibbs in disbelief. "What?"

"Do you want to go outside? There's a nice little patio just down the hall."

"How do…I mean…" Tony still wasn't convinced that he had heard his friend correctly. He could barely move but yet, the offer was more than appealing. The thought of not being surrounded by walls and barb wire was exhilarating and despite the protests that his body was offering, he was more than ready to see the world from a different perspective. "Can I?"

"I don't see why not. You're in my custody now."

It took a few seconds for the impact of Gibbs' words to seep into his muddled brain. "I'm in your custody?" he tentatively inquired, silently hoping that he wasn't dreaming.

"Yep. Your lawyer went before the judge with the new evidence and your case is officially being reopened; the judge approved her request for you to be placed in my custody. I met her and signed the papers and I've already sent the guard packing."

Tony laid his head back on his pillow. "Wow. I can't believe it." He pinched the bridge of his nose, struggling to keep his emotions at bay; now was not the time to lose control. "I don't have…to go back?"

"I gave you my word that you weren't going back," Gibbs reminded him. "You're innocent and once the judge reviews all the evidence, you'll be exonerated."

He wished he felt as confident as Gibbs sounded. "You sound so sure."

"I am."

Despite the team leader's certainty, Tony didn't believe that Gibbs fully understood his reluctance to believe that things were starting to go in his favor. Yes, he was innocent, but the damage had been done. He no longer had a job, income, or a place to live; most of his so called friends had left him high and dry and his reputation was ruined. It was going to take him a lot of time to rebuild his life that had been shattered by an act of vengeance.

"Wish I was," he mumbled to himself.

He was grateful that even though Gibbs undoubtedly heard what he had said, the agent chose not to press him. "So, you still want to go outside?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Once again, Tony flinched when Gibbs started to reach out and pat his arm. He bit back a sharp retort as his former mentor pulled back. Would there ever be a time that he didn't startle at the slightest touch? He couldn't bear to look at his former mentor, imagining the pained expression on his normally stoic face.

When Gibbs spoke, there was no contempt or disappointment in his voice. How could the man be so patient and understanding? "I'm going to talk to your doctor. You just hang tight," the Marine gently urged.

He could only nod, his gaze still fixated on the sheet covering his battered body. When he was certain that Gibbs wasn't in the room, he muttered a string of curses under his breath; Tony truly hated what his time in prison had forced him to become. He wasn't even sure what it was that he had become; all he knew was that he bore no semblance to the man called Tony DiNozzo.

Within what seemed like an eternity, but was only in actuality, a few minutes, Gibbs returned with his doctor in tow. His physician didn't look too happy and Tony figured that Dr. Neal and the team leader had already exchanged a few words out of his earshot. He warily watched the two men as they approached his bed side.

"So, Agent Gibbs tells me that you'd like to go outside," the doctor stated.

"Yeah," Tony quietly answered.

"Are you sure you're up to it? After all, you're supposed to be asleep."

"I'm fine."

"I have a feeling that you say that a lot."

"It's kept me alive."

Tony didn't miss the worried glance that Dr. Neal exchanged with Gibbs. He forced himself to remain still under the scrutiny of the doctor. "Mind if I take a look at my handiwork?"

The injured man tightly clenched his jaw; the doctor was only doing his job, but that didn't make what he was going to do easier on Tony. He knew that Dr. Neal wasn't going to intentionally hurt him, but the thoughts of being touched by anyone literally made him nauseous. However, if he wanted to go outside, he was going to have temporarily put his fear on the backburner and let the doctor do what was necessary. Tony swallowed hard, "Go ahead."

He visibly tensed, clenching the sheet with his good hand, as Dr. Neal started to pull back the sheet covering his chest to check his stab wounds. Tony was grateful that the doctor didn't draw any unnecessary attention to his momentary lapse of control. The physician carefully pulled back the bandages and examined his wounds. "You're healing up nicely. How's the pain?"

"Tolerable."

The doctor obviously knew that he wasn't being completely honest, but once again, Dr. Neal didn't seem fazed by his half-truth. "Here's the deal. I'll allow you to get up and go outside for a few minutes after you try and sleep for a couple more hours. You're vitals are still a little elevated and the rest will do you good."

"I'm fine," he repeated.

"Sorry if I don't believe you."

Dr. Neal was truly starting to piss him off. Tony knew that Gibbs could sense his anger, prompting the team leader to intervene between him and the doctor. "I think he'll rest better if he can get some fresh air first," Gibbs pointed out.

"He can barely sit up."

"I'll manage," Tony insisted, his jaw firmly clenched as he struggled to keep control of the expletives that were hanging on the tip of his tongue.

"I don't think so, Mr. DiNozzo; you're my patient and I…"

"F*** you!" the injured man seethed.

The expression that now graced Dr. Neal's face would have been humorous in any other situation; it was evident that he wasn't used to having profanity hurled at him. "Excuse me?"

"I said…"

"I know what you said, Mr. DiNozzo," the doctor replied, cutting him off. "I know you're hurting and that your pain is doing a lot of the talking for you, so I won't hold your choice of words against you; however, my conditions have not changed. Rest first and then you can get up for a few minutes."

Before Tony could launch into another tirade, he saw Gibbs motion for the doctor to follow him outside. "I'll be back in a minute, Tony," the team leader promised.

As soon as the two men were out of sight, Tony threw back the sheet and slowly struggled to a sitting position. He closed his eyes against the onslaught of dizziness that plagued him. Cursing his weakness, he braced his ribs with his arm and carefully swung his legs to the side of the bed. The world around him continued to spin and Tony was quickly becoming convinced that this wasn't such a good idea.

"You stupid bastard," he mumbled to himself. Taking a deep breath and blowing it out, he tamped down the nausea while coming to the conclusion that even though it was going against his better instincts, he was going to have to have some help.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait too long before Gibbs came back in the room. "DiNozzo? What are you doing?"

"Being an idiot."

"I uh…convinced your doctor to see things your way, but if you're not up to it, we'll wait."

"Nah, I'm good…just waiting on…some help."

He knew that Gibbs was aware of what that particular admission had cost him. "Tony, are you sure you're up to this?"

"Gibbs, don't make me beg for this."

Without uttering another word, Gibbs parked a wheelchair in front of his bed. "Okay, but I need the nurses to come in and help me; they need to unhook what monitors you still have attached and make sure your IV is all right. Can you handle that?"

Tony knew that if he answered honestly, he wouldn't be able to get out of bed. If he had to suck it up and tolerate a couple of the nurses touching him, then he would do so. His first glimpse of true freedom was so close and he wasn't about to screw it up like he tended to do everything else in his life. "Yeah."

He watched Gibbs' every move as he pushed the call button for the nurses. Tony was grateful for the Marine's presence; the man definitely had his back and he was embarrassed by his lack of faith in the team leader. In his mind, he knew that if there was ever a man he could trust, it would be Gibbs; now, he just had to convince his heart.

Within a few minutes, two nurses had arrived and with practiced efficiency had him unhooked from the monitors and standing; he had tensed at their touch but was doing his best not to shy away from their assistance. His body trembled at the strain as they carefully situated him in the wheelchair. While the two women checked his IV, the other one covered his legs with a blanket; Tony closed his eyes, concentrating on his breathing while resisting the urge to push the invading hands away.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Gibbs announced, "They're gone."

Tony simply nodded his thanks to the Marine. "Ready?" he managed to ask.

"Yep. You get tired, DiNozzo, you let me know."

Gibbs pushed him slowly out of his room and down the hallway towards the patio. He kept his eyes cast down to avoid the stares of the staff and other patients; Tony no longer enjoyed being the center of attention. He had learned that too much attention could get a person killed; isolation had become a survival tactic and one that he would probably continue to use in the upcoming days.

As the door opened to the outside patio, Tony immediately felt the warmth on his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, cherishing the feeling of absolute freedom. This day was a long time coming and Tony hoped that he would be able to enjoy many more days like this; of course, it was going to take a long time to convince him that he still wasn't simply just waiting for the other shoe to drop.


	15. Chapter 15

**Yay! I got another chapter up! I know you're tired of me apologizing for the constant delays, but I truly am sorry. So much going on, so little time to write! I do hope you can overlook my inconsistency in posting and enjoy the chapter. Lots of angst in this one! Now, I'm off to work on Undertow (which actually doesn't lack too much to being done). My mind is constantly working on plot bunnies that keep attacking me, but I may need a couple of sounding boards (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, Bob's your uncle!) to help me figure out where to take them or if they are worth exploring. If interested, pm me! Have a great weekend!**

**(P.S. To those who do not have private messaging, thank you for reading! I try to answer each reader individually, but some I obviously can't; so I wanted to make sure and say thank you for taking time to read and review!)**

**Part 15**

Despite the pain that constantly plagued him, Tony welcomed the warmth of the sun as it embraced his battered body; the heat worked its way his aching muscles as he quietly contemplated his first true moment of freedom. There weren't any walls or barb wire surrounding him, no guards with guns seemingly trained on his every move, and most importantly, there wasn't anyone threatening to kill him at the moment. Tony had learned this past year that even when there wasn't any apparent danger, he had to remain guarded; he knew that he would definitely spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder because he believed that he would never be safe.

"Can I get you anything?"

The voice of Leroy Jethro Gibbs broke through the haze that had seemingly taken up permanent residence in his mind; it was at that moment that he had decided to firmly refuse any more medication that would cloud his judgment and confuse his thoughts. He couldn't afford to be distracted or taken by surprise.

It took a few seconds for Tony to process what Gibbs was asking him. He felt like releasing a string of profanity at his inability to think, but refrained from doing so; the action would simply expend what little energy that he had and he knew that he needed every ounce of strength he could muster in order to prolong his time outside the four walls of his hospital room.

"Uh, no," he finally managed to reply. "I'm fine."

He inwardly winced at his proclamation; Gibbs had never believed him when he said he was fine and with good reason. Tony had always kept his emotions bottled inside him and his usual flippant answer had earned him many head slaps over the years; now, the head slap had been replaced by a stern gaze that dripped with a mixture of concern and disbelief. The team leader knew that he wasn't fine but thankfully, Gibbs had elected not to push the issue.

"Let me know when you're ready to go back in," Gibbs quietly instructed.

Tony nodded. He didn't care if he ever went back in; it felt so good being outside that he wanted to stay forever. Of course, his doctor wasn't going to let him stay outside too much longer, but if Gibbs was telling him the truth, then one day, he would be able to do anything he wanted, including sitting outside

He supposed that he should show a little more gratitude to Gibbs for what he had done for him; it had been a while since he had been thankful for anything and he had gotten out of the habit of counting his so called blessings. Staring straight ahead, the ailing man cleared his throat. "Thanks for standing up for me."

"It's the least I can do."

Tony visibly bristled; maybe his gratitude was misplaced. "What do you mean by that?"

Gibbs shrugged. "I didn't do enough to…"

He visibly tensed, knowing all too well the path that Gibbs was heading with this conversation. Tony had already had this discussion with Abby and he certainly didn't want to have it with Gibbs once again. "Don't even go there," he warned. "Enough with the guilt. I told you once that I don't need to deal with it and I don't _want_ to deal with it. If you're gonna start, you can just go find Abby and have your own little guiltfest."

Before last year, there had been very few times that he had dared to put Gibbs in his place; a combination of fear and respect for the team leader had caused him to hold his tongue on more than one occasion. However, those times that he had been forced to stand his ground against his supervisor had earned him a great deal of admiration from the team leader and had added another layer to their unusual bond. That bond had been dormant on his part for the last year and he wasn't sure how Gibbs was going to react to his gruff bluntness; fortunately, the Marine seemed to take it in stride.

"It's good to see that some things haven't changed," Gibbs observed, a tiny smirk escaping his lips. "You still know how to get to the heart of the matter."

Tony closed his eyes for a few seconds and slowly exhaled. He met Gibbs' crystal orbs and studied his slightly bemused expression. "Yeah, well…there's no use beating around the bush. That's another thing that can get you killed; people have to know where you stand."

"I agree and I'm sorry; you're right, you don't need to deal with my crap."

"Apologizing, Gibbs?"

Gibbs rarely violated his own rules, but it seemed like he was now willing to do so for him. "Nothing wrong with apologizing when it's between friends," the older man pointed out.

Tony shook his head. "I haven't given you a very good reason to be my friend; not so sure that I deserve to have any friends. I mean, there has to be something wrong with me." He had spent the past year trying to come up with a reason why people would think he was capable of murder and the only logical conclusion that he could come up with was the fact that his father had been right and he would end up in the gutter.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Tony," Gibbs assured him.

The last thing he wanted to hear was that there wasn't anything wrong with him. There had to be some kind of characteristic or fault that marked him; Tony didn't want to consider any other possibility. He clenched his jaw, his clipped words betraying the anger that was bubbling beneath the surface. "Don't say that. Just…don't…go there. I have to believe…"

Gibbs knelt down in front of him. Tony flinched as the team leader gently cupped his face with a calloused hand. "No, you don't. You were set up because you did your job. You were set up because of Charles Sterling's screwed up mind. If I have to let go of my guilt, you have to let go of the idea that all this mess was your fault."

Tony pulled away from Gibbs; the close proximity of his former boss was still unnerving. The Marine's reasoning made sense but it was going to take a while for him to be convinced of the fact that he was framed and that he hadn't deserved prison. "It's not that easy."

"Then it looks like we've both got our work cut out for us."

"You're a stubborn bastard," Tony declared.

"I've been told that once or twice."

The dark haired man pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few moments to tamp down the rage that had been pushing against his walls of self-control; Gibbs didn't warrant his wrath and Tony knew that he had to make sure that he saved it for someone who did deserve his anger. He briefly found himself wondering if he would be allowed to confront Chip; Tony certainly hoped that he would have the opportunity to deliver a little justice of his own.

Pushing these thoughts out of his mind, he raked his hand through his hair, breathing a sigh of relief when Gibbs moved to his side. He was going to have to get used to having his personal space invaded, but like everything else, it would take time; but for now, he was going to have to resist his ingrained instinct for fight or flight.

"You getting tired?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah," he admitted. "But I'm not ready to go back in."

"You can come out again later. Remember, you're not in…"

Tony tiredly grinned at the other man's reluctance to mention his time in prison. "You can say it, Gibbs. Prison. I think that's the word you're looking for."

"Prison," Gibbs repeated. "Why don't you go back and rest for a little and maybe we can come out later. Maybe we can bring your supper out here and eat."

"Guess that'll be all right," Tony conceded.

He closed his eyes, mainly to avoid the stares that he knew would be cast his way as Gibbs pushed him back to his room. Memories of being escorted down the corridors of the prison began to assault him. The vulgar promises of revenge from people he didn't know echoed in his mind. Tony had been all too aware of the fact that the other inmates had been constantly waiting for the chance to act up on their threats and the guards had always been willing to provide them with those opportunities. He tucked those images back into the dark corners of his mind where they belonged.

It was nearly impossible to keep all his memories at bay, but for the sake of his sanity, he had to try. Tony knew that if those memories escaped, the fear that his thoughts evoked would paralyze him mentally and emotionally and he couldn't afford to lose control over that part of his life. He had to remain unfeeling and uncaring about anything or anybody; trust was too fragile to place in the hands of others.

Tony felt Gibbs make the turn into his room and he opened his eyes and immediately took in his surroundings, scanning for any sign of trouble. Even though he was no longer in prison, he still couldn't afford to let his guard down. Tony doubted that he would ever allow himself to feel totally at ease anywhere and if that were the case, he had no idea how he was going to function in society.

He remained silent as Gibbs elected to help him back to his bed without calling the nurses. Tony struggled to tamp down his aversion to being touched as the team leader allowed him to set the pace; within a few minutes, he was settled back in his bed and the silver haired man was now making sure his IV was still intact. Even though Gibbs wasn't one to play nursemaid, Tony knew that the man was doing it out of a sense of loyalty to him and deep down, he appreciated his former mentor's devotion, but he didn't deserve it.

"Can I get you anything?" Gibbs asked him.

"No."

"Need some space?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

"Not a problem. I'll be back later," the Marine promised. "After you and I both have gotten some well-deserved rest."

He was relieved to know that Gibbs was still a man of his word; not that he had ever doubted that fact, but his ability to trust in people was non-existent and he was wary of those who used to be closest to him. Tony closed his eyes as he heard the team leader's footsteps quietly echo across the floor as he made his way to the door. He heard Gibbs pause for a moment before he left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Tony breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't find the words to describe what he was feeling at the moment. He was alone and he didn't have to live in fear, wondering how long it would be before any unwanted company descended upon him. Solitary confinement had been highly over rated because he had never been truly alone; there was always someone wanting something from him and he always had to defend himself. He considered the possibility of getting some sleep without having to be hyper vigilant; however, old habits were hard to break and if he did manage to sleep, he would do so with one eye open.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs had lost track of the time it had taken him to get home from the hospital; in fact, he barely remembered driving home. His mind was still on Tony, wondering if he was actually trying to get some rest. The Marine knew that the younger man more than likely hadn't been the recipient of a good night's sleep ever since the day he had been accused of murder. He doubted that Tony was sleeping, but at least his former agent would have the opportunity to drop the mask that he was hiding behind; however, he doubted that DiNozzo would allow himself to relax that much. Gibbs hoped that maybe after a few hours of solitude that Tony would feel like could open up a little.

Who was he kidding? It was going to take more than a few hours of sleep for Tony to share anything that had happened to him during the past year. Although Gibbs knew a great deal of what had occurred, he felt like at some point in time, Tony was going to need to talk and he would be ready to listen. Of course, DiNozzo had never been one to willingly discuss anything of a personal nature; it had taken nearly a year after Tony had come to work for Gibbs before he had felt comfortable enough to give the silver hair agent a glimpse into his past. Now, circumstances had shattered the familial bond that they had shared and the older man wasn't sure that it could be repaired; Tony didn't trust him and it was going to take a long time to rebuild what they had.

As he turned into his driveway, he saw Ducky's Morgan parked in front of his house. Gibbs parked his own car and turned off his engine; the exhaustion he was feeling seemed to permeate every fiber of his being. He truly wasn't in the mood to entertain guests, but knowing his old friend was waiting for him in the kitchen with that disgusting tea that the ME liked prompted him to get out of the car and slowly make his way up the stairs of his front porch.

Opening his door, he was greeted by Ducky's cultured voice as the older man handed him a cup of tea. "I think I need something a little more substantial that tea, Duck," he tiredly replied.

The ME pulled out a flask which Gibbs knew contained scotch and put a few drops in the tea. "Not exactly what I had in mind," the team leader pointed out as he set his cup on the table. "Thanks for the thought though."

"You're welcome, Jethro," Ducky said. "I called the hospital to check on Anthony and the nurse told me that you had just left; I thought that since that past few days have been so…strenuous, you might need a listening ear."

Gibbs shook his head. "I'm good, Duck. Just tired."

"I'm not sure I believe you. The past year has been difficult on everyone, but no one more than you; now that Anthony is going to be exonerated, I'm sure that the emotional fallout from everything is finally…"

The Marine glared at Ducky, silently warning the physician not to step over the line. He couldn't deny that the last year had been one of the hardest in his life, but he was not about to delve into a conversation about his emotional state; he was too tired and the possibility definitely existed that he would end up saying something that he regretted. Gibbs needed time. Time to process everything and time to unwind; perhaps then he would be more than willing to lean on his friend.

"Not now, Ducky. It's not a good time."

"All right," the ME quickly conceded. "We'll talk about something else."

"How about we talk about you leaving and me getting some sleep?"

"As soon as you answer one question for me," Ducky reasoned.

"What?" he asked with growing impatience.

"What can I do to help Tony?"

Gibbs was genuinely touched by Ducky's concern. Throughout the past few days, the ME had willingly kept his distance and the team leader had appreciated the restraint that he had shown. Ducky and Tony had always enjoyed a special friendship akin to a grandfather and grandson; he knew it had been difficult for the elderly man to stay away, but he had managed to respect Tony's desire for privacy.

"You're doing it, Duck. You're giving him space."

"I want to do more."

Sitting down at his kitchen table, he sighed in resignation. Ducky wasn't the only one who wanted to do more. The feeling of helplessness while Tony was in prison had nearly consumed him and that feeling had yet to completely dissipate. "I know, but he's just not ready. He can barely tolerate me being in the same room with him; everything has to be on his terms."

"Yes, I gathered that from Abigail. She was quite upset after seeing Anthony _and_ after you, as she put it, reamed her a new one."

"She deserved it," Gibbs coolly stated. "I told her to stay away and she didn't. Tony couldn't handle it and he gave her a few choice words of his own."

"She is distraught over everything that happened, Jethro. She thought she was helping."

Ducky always the peacemaker of their unusual family, but Gibbs wasn't ready to mend any fences just yet. "Don't make excuses for her, Duck. The only thing that she did was upset DiNozzo; he isn't ready to be bombarded by a lot of people, especially by his friends. He…doesn't even know who his friends are. I know everyone is anxious to see him, but he's not ready to see them."

"Who makes the decision as to when he is ready?" the ME asked.

Gibbs glared at his friend. He certainly hoped Ducky wasn't implying that Gibbs was calling the shots. "He does," the Marine growled, his tone clearly indicating that he was done with the conversation. "If that's all, I'm going to get some sleep. I'll tell Tony you were asking about him."

"Jethro, I didn't mean to…"

Ducky's attempt at an apology was cut short by the ringing of his cell phone. Glancing at the caller ID, he saw that the hospital was calling him. His gut began to twist into yet another knot as he answered the phone; the news on the other end couldn't be good. "Gibbs," he barked. He listened for a moment before replying with a terse, "I'll be right there."

He grabbed his keys and headed towards the front door as Ducky called out to him, "Is something wrong, Jethro? Is it Anthony?"

"Yeah," he replied, hoping Ducky would not press him for details, mainly because he didn't know the specifics of what had happened. The Marine didn't have a clear answer and probably wouldn't have one for a while; hopefully, when he got to the hospital, things would become clearer. He just hoped that Tony allowed him to help him over this hurdle.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_*******__flashback***_

_They were coming for him again. He could hear the echo of their footsteps as they walked down the corridor. He had just been released from the infirmary and placed back in his cell in solitary. Why couldn't they just leave him the hell alone? Isn't that what solitary meant? Tony kept his eyes closed as he heard his cell being unlocked and two distinct sets of foot prints entering his cell. Perhaps since there were only two of them, he would have a fighting chance this time. _

_He was so tired of fighting, but it was the only way to survive. Tony had long given up on the idea that he had to survive because Gibbs was going to be able to prove his innocence; he was now surviving because it wasn't in his nature to simply give up. DiNozzos never give up; at least that was what he kept trying to tell himself. It would be so easy just to let them kill him, but he also knew that the guards and the inmates would not let him off that easy; they knew he used to be a cop and they wanted him to suffer and took great pleasure in making his life a living nightmare._

_His eyes snapped opened to discover two of the guards standing over him. He easily recognized Carl Banks and Steven Marcus; they were the ringleaders of the 'Make Tony's Life Miserable Club' and didn't care that he had spent the better part of the week in the infirmary. Before they had a chance to restrain him, Tony managed to use his legs to bring the two men to their knees, giving him time to get in a defensive position. The quick movement had aggravated his bruised ribs and the grade three concussion he had received earlier in the week, but at least he wasn't an easy mark now. _

"_What do you think you're doing, DiNozzo?" Banks demanded to know._

"_Just staying ahead of the game."_

"_We just came to make sure that you're all right after your last accident."_

_He had always known that Banks was a liar and he was lying now; the only thing that Banks and his friend, Officer Marcus were worried about was making his life a living hell. Despite Tony's continued reports to the Warden, nothing was done about the beatings that he had received, except to shift the blame to him and place him in solitary, which only provided the guards with easier access and no witnesses to their actions._

"_As you can see, I'm fine. You can leave," Tony seethed. _

"_In case you've forgotten, you're a prisoner. You don't get to tell us what to do," Marcus pointed out. _

_Tony faltered as the room began to sway, providing the two guards with the chance they needed to take him down. He cried out in agony as he landed on the floor, the pain shooting through his ribs was almost unbearable. The two guards taunted him with slurs and innuendos, whispering in his ear what they were going to do to him. Rage churned within him as those words echoed in his mind. Through the haze of pain that was threatening to consume him, his arm shot up and grabbed Marcus by the throat; squeezing with all his might, his only thought was of killing this man who had enjoyed tormenting him._

_His energy was waning, but he had yet to let go of his prey. He could hear Banks screaming at him as he tried to pry Tony's fingers from the other guard's neck. Tony groaned as he felt a steel toe boot connect with his side. The shouts of anger above him confirmed the fact that there were others in his cell; with the arrival of the other guards, he would quickly be overpowered. His body convulsed as he succumbed to the familiar shock of the taser; he had no choice but to let go of the guard as he hovered on the edge of darkness…_

_***end flashback***_

"Mr. DiNozzo! Mr. DiNozzo!" Disembodied voices were shouting at him as hands were simultaneously holding him down.

"You need to let go of Nurse Akers!" He felt as if someone were trying to break his fingers. Tony's eyes snapped open and met the terrified gaze of the nurse. He released her immediately as his arm was forced to his side and placed in a restraint. He felt the sharp prick of a needle and almost immediately felt as if he were floating.

His attempts at struggling were useless as the blackness of the void enveloped him. The confusion surrounding Tony was overwhelming and he felt as if what little control he had possessed was quickly slipping away. As he gave up the battle for consciousness, Tony hoped that whenever he woke up that Gibbs would be there to tell him what was going on.


	16. Chapter 16

**This chapter is kind of an emotional roller coaster…hope you're ready for the ride. Thank you all for your continued support of this story! I hope you enjoy the post. A shout out to AZGirl for her amazing beta! For those that I can't personally thank through a private message, thank you for reading and for your kind words—they really mean a lot!**

**Part 16**

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was pissed and he silently dared anyone to stop him as he rounded the corner and sprinted down the hallway to Tony's room. The rage that was consuming him was directed towards himself; he should have listened to his gut and stayed close by, never leaving DiNozzo's side. Things had obviously gone to hell after he had left and although he didn't know the details of what had happened, he had a feeling that Tony was reaping the consequences.

As he neared Tony's room, he saw a couple of nurses escorting another nurse out of the room, who was clearly distraught. Ignoring her sobs, he entered Tony's room to find the young man surrounded by a couple of doctors, neither of which he recognized, a couple of security guards and two orderlies. Gibbs overheard one of the doctors stating that he would write an order for the restraints and sedation so that Tony couldn't hurt anyone else. His anger was quickly encompassing those in the room. Didn't they have any idea what DiNozzo had been through?

"What the hell is going on?" Gibbs demanded to know. He wanted answers and he wanted them sooner than later.

"I assume you are Agent Gibbs? Dr. Neal said that you were to be contacted if there was a problem. I'm Dr. Carter and I…"

"I don't care who you are," he snapped. "I just want to know what's going on."

The doctor gestured for Gibbs to follow him. "Perhaps we should step outside the room."

Gibbs shook his head. "I don't think so. I think you can say what you have to say right here _after _you take those restraints off of him." Defiance hung on every word that he uttered as he struggled against the urge to literally wipe the floor with the physician and his colleagues.

His harsh glare remained fixed on the doctor as he silently dismissed the other men in the room. Gibbs crossed his arms and remained firmly planted between Dr. Carter and DiNozzo. The team leader knew that the Devil himself couldn't force him from Tony's side right now; he had promised to protect the younger man and once again, he had failed him.

"Agent Gibbs," Carter began. "From what I've been able to gather…"

"The restraints," he tersely reiterated. "Take them off."

"I can't do that," the doctor said. "Right now, he's a danger not only to others but himself."

Gibbs' tenuous control was beginning to slip. "Don't feed me that line of crap, _Doctor_ Carter. He's unconscious and tied down; so don't tell me that he's a danger to anyone."

"If you would just give me a chance to explain, Agent Gibbs…"

"There is no explanation that you could possibly give that would warrant this! Now, you either take them off or I will." Gibbs was not in the mood for games; he could only imagine what this had done to Tony's sanity. DiNozzo was hanging on by a thin thread, and the Marine knew it wouldn't take much for that string to snap.

"Agent Gibbs, I…"

Seeing the doctor was not heeding his words, Gibbs muttered a curse under his breath and then carefully proceeded to undo the restraints securing Tony to his bed, being careful of the myriad of bruises that still covered his friend's body. He was grateful that DiNozzo wasn't awake and hoped that when he did wake up, he wouldn't remember what had happened. "If this happens again, I'll come down on you so hard that you won't know what hit you."

"Then you better be prepared to have someone with him every minute!" Dr. Carter fumed. "I will not place my staff in any unnecessary danger. Nurse Akers was in here doing a vitals check," he continued to explain. "She noticed that Mr. DiNozzo seemed restless and proceeded to try and wake him. He reached up and grabbed her throat. If she hadn't managed to hit the panic button, there's no telling what would have happened. He was choking her!"

"She should have known better!" Gibbs growled, defending the actions of the injured man lying in the bed. "Did she even read his chart? He's been in prison where he's been conditioned to…" The Marine knew that Tony wouldn't appreciate him providing any details to a stranger; Tony deserved his privacy and Gibbs wasn't going to do anything to violate what little trust DiNozzo managed to display towards him.

"I want to talk to Dr. Neal," he insisted.

"He isn't scheduled to come back until…"

"I don't give a damn. You page him. You do whatever you have to do to get him here. I'll be waiting right here."

"Who do you think you are?" Dr. Carter inquired. "You do not run this hospital and you certainly aren't a doctor. This man needs psychiatric help or else be put back in prison! Like I said, he's a danger…"

Gibbs had lost the ability to think rationally. Grabbing the doctor by the lapels of his coat, he shoved him against the nearest wall. "I suggest you get Dr. Neal or you're going to find out that _I'm_ the one you should be worried about."

He couldn't help but feel a miniscule amount of satisfaction at the fear radiating from the doctor. "You haven't heard the l…last of this," Carter stammered.

The team leader released him and shoved him towards the door. "I think I have." Gibbs closed the door and blew out a frustrated breath. He slowly made his way back to Tony's bedside; his gaze coming to rest on the Tony's pale features. Lines of fatigue and pain were evident on his face, especially around his eyes. Gibbs missed the vital young man and longed for the days when Tony's keen mind and sharp wit was something that he could count on every day; now, that mind was filled with memories of horrors that never should have happened and Tony was expected to simply live with them for the rest of his life.

"Still have…a way with people, don't ya…Bo…Gibbs?"

Gibbs gut tightened at Tony's near slip up of calling him 'Boss'; he would truly give anything to hear the man utter the familiar, _"On it, Boss,"_ but the Marine wasn't sure that those words would ever be spoken again. His heart ached to consider the possibility that Tony wouldn't return to NCIS, but Gibbs couldn't blame him if he never wanted to set foot inside the office again.

"Playin' possum again, DiNozzo?"

Tony shook his head, wincing at the pain the slight action caused. "No, I think…I actually passed out this time; came to about the time…you slammed the doctor into the wall."

"Sorry about that. I'll try to be quieter next time," Gibbs teased.

"So, what'd I do this time? Did I hurt someone?"

Gibbs sat down in the chair beside him; the thought that Tony had automatically assumed that everything was his fault deeply troubled the agent. "Why would you think that?"

"Cause it's happened before. I'll…dream and when I…" Tony licked his lips. "Did I hurt anyone?"

That was the second time that Tony had asked that particular question and Gibbs knew that he had to provide DiNozzo with some kind of answer. Was Tony strong enough to handle the truth? "Nothing for you to worry about," he finally replied.

He instantly regretted the words as soon as they flew out of his mouth. The irritated expression that was now evident on Tony's face clearly indicated that he had screwed up again. It wasn't the first time and it probably wouldn't be the last. "Tony, I…"

"Don't," Tony seethed. "Don't lie to me. Don't sugarcoat…the truth. I can take it…I've taken a lot worse crap than you could ever dish out by giving me…a straight answer."

Would he ever get used to the short fuse that DiNozzo now possessed? Would he ever figure out exactly how to handle the changes in his friend? "You're right," Gibbs conceded. "You deserve the truth. Dr. Carter said that a nurse tried to wake you up out of a nightmare and you tried to choke her. She's okay; I saw her walking out of your room."

Gibbs waited patiently for Tony to say something, but the younger man's attention was drawn to the discoloration around his good wrist. "They restrained me."

"Yeah, but I took them off."

The injured man nodded. "Thanks. I don't like being held down…by anything or anyone."

Tony's words were almost a whisper; Gibbs had to strain to hear what he said, but there was no mistaking the deathly tone in which they were spoken. They were meant to be a warning, for him, and for anyone that he came in contact with; Gibbs silently swore to make sure that Tony was never placed in such a predicament again. "I think they figured that out."

"You sure I didn't hurt her?"

Gibbs wasn't sure if he was surprised or concerned by the lack of bitterness in Tony's voice. DiNozzo had every right to be angry about what had just happened, but instead, there seemed to be a hint of concern for the nurse. He wasn't sure how Tony had managed to keep even one ounce of compassion within his soul given what he'd been through, but it was clear that the former agent had held on tight to as much of his humanity as he could. "I'm sure," Gibbs assured him.

DiNozzo seemed satisfied with his answer this time; Gibbs was relieved that Tony believed him. There couldn't be any more half-truths or avoiding the truth; Tony had been lied to and lied about over the past year, and the team leader couldn't begrudge the demand for the truth to be told. He wondered how many times other inmates had lied about Tony just to get him in trouble; judging from the statements and reports he had read, Tony had finally quit trying to counter the lies with the truth.

"Can I get you anything?" Gibbs asked, needing to break the awkward silence.

"I need to get out of here."

That almost sounded like the old Tony DiNozzo. The man had never cared for hospitals or doctors and it was obvious that his time in prison had exacerbated his dislike of them. "You're still recuperating. You've still got a busted knee that they need to…"

"It's fine."

The last thing Gibbs wanted to do was get in an argument with Tony. "No, it's not."

"I've had worse. I know what a messed up knee feels like," Tony tersely informed him. "It'll be fine. I just want out of this freakin' place."

"Tony, I…"

Gibbs was momentarily taken back by Tony's hate filled gaze. He had seen many emotions reflected in those expressive orbs, but rarely pure hatred, and never before had it been directed at him. "I want to leave," Tony growled. "I can't stay…here anymore. "

DiNozzo didn't sound like himself; his words were dripping with venom and his voice was laced with malice. Gibbs could feel the waves of anger and frustration crashing against him, and it was taking all of his strength to stand up to the onslaught of emotions that DiNozzo was hurling at him. The Marine knew that fear was at the basis of all the feelings that the younger man was experiencing; Tony was afraid, but Gibbs had no idea why.

"Why?" the team leader pressed. "Why can't you stay here anymore, Tony?"

Tony clenched his fist until his nails dug into his flesh, bringing forth droplets of blood. Gibbs stood up and staying in DiNozzo's line of sight, gently took the injured man's hand and began to pry his fingers one by one so that he couldn't do any further damage to an already broken body and spirit. "No, Tony" he gently urged. "Don't do this."

"Let me out of here!" DiNozzo cried out in frustration.

"Not till you tell me why."

"Bastard," Tony fumed. "Don't you see? I tried to kill…someone! I'll be sent back to prison! I'm not going back! You promised I didn't have to go back, but since I…"

Gibbs cupped Tony's face in his calloused hands; it probably wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, but at the moment, it was the only way to get DiNozzo to listen to him. "Look at me, Tony!" he insisted, his tone quietly daring the struggling man to defy him.

"I'm not going back. I'd rather die first."

His heart ached at Tony's proclamation. The thought of DiNozzo taking his own life in order to stay out of prison was too much to bear. "I gave you my word, and I'm not about to break it. You're in my custody and you're _not_ going to back to jail," he vowed.

Tony closed his eyes and Gibbs knew that DiNozzo was embarrassed by what he perceived to be a loss of control. There wasn't a doubt in the agent's mind that he needed to do something; as badly as he wanted to give in to Tony's demands to leave the hospital, Gibbs wasn't sure that it was in the best interest of his health. He brushed a few stray locks of hair off of Tony's forehead and patiently waited for his friend to make the next move.

"I hate this fu…this place," Tony mumbled to himself.

DiNozzo physically pulled away from him, his attention was now directed towards the window and the darkness of the night. Tony was shutting down once again and there wasn't anything Gibbs could do; he despised being so helpless when the need to do something to help the younger man was so overwhelming. "I know you do. I'll go and talk to Dr. Neal; maybe he can come up with a solution."

Still staring out into the night, Tony said, "When he finds out…what I did, he'll want to send me back. He'll say I'm not stable enough to…"

"How many different ways do I have to say it? You are _not_ going back." He desperately wished that Tony still trusted him; there was a time that his word was all that DiNozzo had ever needed, but Tony's time in prison had made him wary of everyone, even his closest friends. "Tony, I know that you don't have any reason to believe me, but I swear to you that you're not going back to prison. You're in my custody and…"

"I'm in your custody, but I'm still not free."

"Not technically, but you're a lot closer than you were."

Tony still refused to look at him. Gibbs wasn't sure what else he could say at the moment; every word that came out of his mouth seemed to be the wrong one. "I'm going to see if I can find Dr. Neal; I'll be right back."

DiNozzo didn't answer him, but then again, Gibbs really didn't expect one. Tony's frame of mind wasn't the best right at the moment, and truthfully, he wasn't so sure about his own. It was amazing how everything had spiraled out of control in such a short amount of time; if only he had been here, perhaps this whole nightmare could have been avoided.

Leaving Tony alone, he stepped outside and looked up and down the corridor, hoping to see Dr. Neal. He didn't want to speak to anyone else, but he also didn't want to go back and face Tony. DiNozzo needed a little space and Gibbs needed a little direction on what his next step should be. Fortunately, as Gibbs started walking towards the nurses' station to call Dr. Neal, the physician stepped off the elevator.

"Agent Gibbs," the doctor called out. "Dr. Carter called me and told me what happened. Is Mr. DiNozzo all right?"

The team leader shook his head. "No. No, he's not. He's convinced that he's going back to prison because of what happened."

The doctor stared at him in disbelief. "That's ridiculous. I've spoken with Nurse Akers and she admitted that it was her fault; she had just come on and hadn't read his history yet. His monitor at the nurses' station was indicating that his vitals were elevated and she went in to check on him; when she saw that he was having a nightmare, she did what came naturally and tried to wake him up. The rest is history, so to speak. Miss Akers has no intentions of pressing charges, and neither does Dr. Carter, even though you shoved him against the wall," Carter said, with a hint of a smile on his lips.

"He deserved it," Gibbs declared.

"Probably so. Dr. Carter likes to throw his weight around a little, but overall, he's fairly reasonable, especially since I'm his boss."

"He's gonna get thrown on his ass if he tries to restrain Tony again," the Marine warned.

"I was just going to check on Tony. Anything I should know?" the doctor asked.

"He wants out of here. Today," Gibbs emphasized. One thing that hadn't changed about DiNozzo was his stubborn streak; once he set his mind to something, he didn't waver from his goal. Right now, Tony's main objective was to be away from the prying eyes and the prodding hands that were supposed to be helping him; he had been betrayed when he had been placed in restraints and DiNozzo was not ready to forgive and forget.

Dr. Neal shook his head and he picked up Tony's chart. "I don't think that's going to happen. I know he's upset about what happened, but he's still got some healing to do."

"You're going to have to come up with a better reason than that to keep him here. He's ready to bolt."

"Maybe we can reach a compromise."

Neither he nor Tony believed in compromising; sometimes it was a necessary evil, but they didn't like to do it. "Good luck with that, Doc," Gibbs muttered.

"You're not helping matters any, Agent Gibbs," the physician pointed out.

"Tony's not…Tony's not listening to me right now," the team leader reluctantly disclosed. "He's got a lot going on and right now, he doesn't know who to turn to; the only one he can trust is himself and even that's kind of iffy right now."

Dr. Neal gestured towards Tony's room. "Let's go see what we can do."

As the two men entered the room, both the agent and the doctor were greeted by the site of Tony sitting up and preparing to swing his legs over the side of the bed. Dr. Neal seemed genuinely surprised, but Gibbs admired the young man's determination. Tony was pushing himself too hard, but then again, the former agent had always set the bar high for himself. The older man grabbed DiNozzo by the shoulders and gently urged him to lie down. "Where ya goin', DiNozzo?"

A sheen of perspiration dotted DiNozzo's forehead as exhaustion seemed to pour from his soul. "I told you I wanted…out of here," Tony rasped.

"I know what you told me. Dr. Neal is here; let's see what he has to say."

Gibbs remained planted by Tony's side as he watched the doctor examine Tony. He wished that he had the ability to ramble incessantly so that he could take DiNozzo's mind off the examination; Gibbs knew he wasn't a storyteller and would fail miserably at any attempt. Tony probably didn't want to hear war stories or anything about the cases they had worked on; maybe he was just trying to convince himself that he couldn't do it so he wouldn't have to talk at all. It seemed like every conversation they had always took a turn for the worse.

He found himself watching Dr. Neal as he examined Tony. DiNozzo was wound tight; Gibbs had a feeling that if the physician didn't hurry up and finish, that they were heading for another confrontation. Finally, the doctor made a few notes before simultaneously addressing them both. "How about I authorize a move to a regular private room? There'll be less commotion and you'll actually have more privacy.

"Your knee doesn't need surgery, but I'd like you to stay off of it for a couple more days; when you're released, I'd like you to be on crutches for a couple more weeks. I also want you to take in some solid food the next couple of days as well; if you can do that and we can get rid of your IV's, then you can be out of here by the end of the week."

"I want out now." Gibbs held his breath as he listened to the tight and controlled tone coming from Tony. DiNozzo was like a keg of dynamite, waiting for a match to light the fuse; Gibbs hoped Dr. Neal had better sense than to strike the match.

"I can't authorize that, Mr. DiNozzo," the doctor said.

"I'll leave AMA," Tony threatened.

"You can't do that. You're in Agent Gibbs' custody and I don't think he's going to agree to letting you walk out of here. Am I right, Agent Gibbs?"

Once again, Gibbs could feel Tony's eyes bore into him. He wanted nothing more than to give DiNozzo the freedom that he craved, but the young man was still in copious amounts of pain both physically and emotionally; and clearly, he wasn't ready to walk out of the hospital. Tony was in the team leader's custody, so therefore, he made the decisions regarding DiNozzo's well-being. He hated being forced between a rock and hard place and that was exactly where he was.

Steeling himself for the explosion that was sure to come his way, he took a deep a breath and said, "Tony, I think…"

DiNozzo already knew what he was going to say and refused to listen to any rationale. "Go to hell," Tony snarled.

For the second time in one day, Gibbs felt pure hatred radiating off of the man known as Tony DiNozzo. He was beginning to wonder if he had done the right thing by insisting that Tony be placed in his custody. Could he work past his own guilt and uncertainty to help the man who was like a son to him? Gibbs knew that things between them would be different because of Tony's time in prison, but he hadn't considered the possibility that Tony would actually hate him. There had been a handful of times in his life when he truly did not know what to do-this moment would definitely rank number one.


	17. Chapter 17

**Again, my deepest thanks to AZGirl for the great beta job…any mistakes are mine. Thank you to my readers for hanging in there so patiently for updates. I'm blessed to have such loyal readers! I hope you enjoy the post!**

**Part 17**

"Go to hell!"

Tony DiNozzo had angrily hurled those words at the one man who had done nothing to incur his wrath, but right now, Gibbs was the sole recipient of the fiery rage that had been awakened in him. He would never admit it to anyone, but he was afraid and his fear was fueling the desperate need to escape before he ended up back in prison. He had just tried to kill someone and there wasn't any way that the judge would overlook his latest screw up; even Gibbs wouldn't be able to help him this time. That's why he had to leave; he was clearly a danger to others and he needed to be as far away as possible from everyone.

He forced himself to block out the pained expression that had briefly flashed across Gibbs' face. Tony couldn't afford to let sentiment interfere with his goal; he knew that he owed the team leader his life, but he couldn't think about that at the moment. He gripped the railing of his bed, his arm trembling from the strain. "Get me out of here! Please!"

It had been a long time since he had begged for anything, but he was getting to the point that he would do anything to get out of the hospital. A feeling of betrayal was beginning to filter into his thoughts; he was supposed to be free, but everyone around him seemed intent on keeping him imprisoned.

"Tony!" Gibbs barked, startling him out of his musings. "Listen to me!"

"Not unless you're going to get me out of here."

"I can't, DiNozzo."

"Then get out!" he shouted.

Gibbs was once again hovering over him. Tony couldn't stand the proximity of the team leader, but he couldn't escape. "Tony, if you don't calm down, Dr. Neal is going to sedate your ass and I'm going to have to let him," the Marine informed him.

His head snapped around until his eyes locked with Gibbs' intimidating stare. Tony was terrified of being sedated. It was the method of choice in prison to prevent him from putting up a struggle whenever he was in the infirmary; his aversion to touch had conditioned him to resist _any_ touch, even if the intention had been good.

"I know that you're angry," the older man continued to reason, "but you're going to have to trust me on this; I've got your six."

He knew that Gibbs spoke the truth, but he was hesitant to believe him. "I don't know if I can," he admitted. "I need to be some place where I'm not a danger to anyone."

"And for now, that place is right here."

The fight seemed to leave his body as he slumped back against his pillow. His pain was rising to the surface, but he knew better than to say anything; he was tired of being drugged out of his mind. Tony also realized that he couldn't afford to fall into such a deep sleep again; he wasn't going to take the chance that he would hurt anyone else. Part of him still couldn't believe that he had actually hurt the nurse, but then again, prison had turned him into some kind of animal that cared about nothing except his own survival.

"You can go," Tony rasped, his voice barely above a whisper. The young man was through listening; it was obvious that he wasn't going to win this particular argument and he was going to have to come up with another plan to escape. Of course, he doubted that Gibbs would leave him alone ever again, especially after everything that had happened.

Gibbs nodded. "I'll be close by if you need me."

Tony was grateful for the bit of solitude that he was going to have. He had come to prefer being alone. He didn't have to talk, he didn't have to think, and he didn't have to worry about hurting anyone… except maybe himself. Over the past year, he had considered it as an option for relief from his miserable existence, but he knew that he could never end his own life. Tony pushed those thoughts aside. He never could bear the thought of hurting the few people who would actually miss him if he died; instead, he had just settled for isolating himself as much as possible.

He watched Gibbs leave with Dr. Neal in tow; Tony had been so angry that he hadn't even paid attention to the fact that the doctor had still been in the room. Ignoring the constant ache that was now assaulting him, he pulled the blanket up over his shoulder, his eyes never leaving the door; he would not be caught unawares again. One thing he had learned to do in prison was to go for long periods of time without sleep; it had kept him alive more than once. This time his ability would hopefully keep someone else alive; he was not going to take the chance on hurting someone, possibly inadvertently killing them, and going back to prison.

Gibbs had promised him his freedom and had repeatedly told him that he wasn't going to lose it, but Tony knew that all it would take was one stupid act on his part and he would end up back in prison. He was the only person who could ensure that didn't happen; he was terrified of losing his freedom and if there was one thing that Tony knew for certain, it was that fear was a tremendous motivator.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs pulled the door closed behind him to ensure that Tony had the privacy that the younger man so desperately craved. He blew out a breath that he hadn't realized that he'd been holding. His nerves were raw and at the moment, he wasn't sure how much more he could take. The team leader knew that it was going to be a challenge to help Tony readjust to life outside of prison, but he'd had no idea exactly how difficult it was going to be.

DiNozzo didn't trust anyone, including himself. Tony was obviously scared and Gibbs could understand why. The lead agent knew a great deal of what his former agent had endured, but what he didn't know was the emotional ramifications of those experiences. The younger man bore so many physical and emotional scars, that Gibbs doubted that Tony would ever completely heal.

"He's certainly stubborn," the doctor proclaimed.

"You have no idea," Gibbs sighed.

"His stubbornness has certainly served him well."

"It's kept him alive."

The team leader pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward away the headache that seemed determined to take up residence in his skull. He needed to rest, but then again, he wasn't about to leave without Tony. He couldn't take the chance that DiNozzo would have another nightmare and be placed in restraints; Gibbs had promised to have his six and he wouldn't break his word to his friend.

"I'm going to get some coffee and then I'll check on DiNozzo again."

"Are you sure that's wise? He didn't seem to want company," Dr. Neal recalled. "Why don't you go home and…"

"And what? Get some rest?" Gibbs shook his head. "Not happening. Your doctor friend blew it. I'm not taking any chances. Tony can't handle being restrained or drugged and I'm not about to abandon him to that possibility."

"Dr. Carter made a mistake," the physician reasoned. "It won't happen again."

"I can't be sure of that. Like I said, I'm not taking any chances."

The doctor raised his hands in surrender. "All right, I won't argue with you." 

"Good. It'd be a waste of time." Gibbs knew that the doctor was concerned about DiNozzo, but the truth of the matter was that until Tony felt safe, his recovery would be hindered. Tony was right in that he needed to get out of the hospital. "So tell me, Doc, when do you think DiNozzo can leave?"

"We've already been through this," Neal pointed out. "It's going to be several days…"

Gibbs shook his head. "No, it's not. I managed to calm him down a little, but he needs to get out of here. Being here reminds him too much of…other things. If we don't come up with some kind of compromise to get him out here, he'll find a way on his own."

"Agent Gibbs, he needs to stay in the hospital."

Frustration was seeping into every fiber of his being; Gibbs wanted to do what was right but he couldn't stand to see Tony needlessly suffering. "What he needs is to be somewhere we he doesn't feel like he's under a microscope! He's in constant fight-or-flight mode and right now, I have no idea which one he's gonna do."

"I understand that you're upset about what happened; so am I," the doctor assured him. "It doesn't change the fact that he still needs to be in the hospital."

"He's been released to my custody; I'll take him to my place."

"Are you sure that's what he wants?" Neal challenged. "Sounds like to me he doesn't want to be around anyone."

"You're probably right, but right now, I'm the only other option he has," Gibbs pointed out.

The team leader wasn't sure exactly how Tony would react to staying with him; he wanted to help DiNozzo, but if he were honest with himself, he really didn't know where to begin. Tony had always internalized his true feelings and his time in prison had only reinforced that habit. DiNozzo had built a seemingly impenetrable wall around himself, desiring isolation from everyone and everything; it was going to take a lot of patience to even see a crack in the brick and mortar that encompassed Tony's soul.

"If you can convince him to stay at least one more day and there aren't any further…complications, I'll authorize his release," the physician bargained. "That's the best I can do."

Gibbs nodded in agreement. "I'll talk to Tony now. Maybe he's cooled off enough to listen to reason; I think I can convince him to give it another day."

"I certainly hope so. He really needs to be under a doctor's care even after he's released."

"I think I have that covered." Gibbs was still formulating his plan in his mind and he sincerely hoped that he could get Tony to buy into it.

The doctor shook his head. "Let me ask you something, Agent Gibbs. What happens when your plan doesn't go the way you want it to? What then?"

Gibbs couldn't answer his question. Usually, his plans worked flawlessly, but he couldn't be sure that this one would. Tony was unpredictable and the team leader had no idea how DiNozzo would react, but he had to try. He turned away from the doctor and quietly entered Tony's room. Gibbs knew that the younger man wasn't asleep; DiNozzo wasn't about to take any more chances.

"Tony?" he called out.

DiNozzo looked at him, his gaze following Gibbs' every movement. He could see the burning desire for freedom in Tony's eyes as well as a raw desperation; the Marine now knew which way his friend's fight-or-flight mode was leaning. He had to act fast if he was going to prevent his ex-agent from doing something he'd regret. Tony's was driven to survive at any cost; it was a price that he had paid over and over.

Stepping closer to the bed, Gibbs said his name once again. "Tony? You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he sullenly answered.

"You sure?"

"I said I was fine," Tony repeated, his tone was tight and controlled.

Gibbs could still hear the anger and frustration in Tony's voice. Although he wasn't yelling and cursing, it was obvious that DiNozzo still was on edge and it wouldn't take a lot to set him off once again. He knew that he was going to have his work cut out for him if he was going to convince Tony not only to stay in the hospital for one more day, but to recuperate at his house after his release. Maybe he should have waited until he had gotten some actual sleep before attempting to bargain with a man who truly had nothing, but yet still had everything, to lose.

His former agent's eyes were now empty and Gibbs had to admit that he was worried. It wasn't going to be easy to tell what Tony was thinking; he wondered if this was a sign that he had truly lost his friend to his past. Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he pulled a chair up and sat down. "Can I get you anything?"

"Out of here," Tony mumbled.

"I'm going to talk to you about that in a minute," Gibbs promised. "Right now, I want to know if you need anything like something to drink. I could probably round up some of those lime Jell-O shots you like."

"Water."

Gibbs rose from his seat and poured Tony a glass of water. He held it out to the dark-haired man, who managed to take it, despite the slight tremor in his hand. The agent stood by just in case DiNozzo decided he needed any help, but he was going to let Tony feel like he was in control of the situation as much as possible. When he was through drinking, Gibbs took the cup and set it back down on the table. "Do you want anything else?"

Tony shook his head. "No."

"All right." Gibbs took his seat once more and leaned forward in the chair. It was time to present his plan and hope that Tony was willing to listen. He knew that DiNozzo was still pissed at him and truthfully, the older man understood his frustration and his anger; Gibbs had taken the time to consider how he would feel if their positions were reversed. "I know you want to get out of here," he began.

"I think we've already established that fact," Tony snapped.

He ignored DiNozzo's sharp retort; Gibbs knew that Tony's nerves were raw and that his harsh, sporadic responses were part of his survival mechanism. "I guess we have," he agreed. "I've talked to your doctor and I think we can reach a compromise."

"A compromise? You?"

There was no mistaking the disbelief in Tony's voice. His friend knew him all too well; there were very few times in his life that he had ever compromised, but for DiNozzo's sake, he was willing to try. "Yeah," Gibbs sighed. "Sometimes situations call for the unexpected and this is one of those times."

"So, what's this…compromise?"

A tiny smile danced upon Gibbs' lips. "I thought you'd never ask," he said. "It's pretty simple. If you stay in the hospital and do everything the doctor says for one more day, he'll let you get out of here."

"Where am I going to go?" Tony inquired. "Back to prison?"

"Tony, I told you that you're not going back there," Gibbs reminded him for what seemed like the thousandth time. Of course, he was more than willing to tell DiNozzo a thousand more times if that was what was necessary to convince him that he was a free man. "You're going home." He winced at his choice of words. Unfortunately, Tony caught his slip of the tongue.

"Home?"

"I meant _my_ home," Gibbs quickly explained.

"Good thing you clarified that," Tony countered. "I was beginning to worry; thought maybe I was going to end up on the street or something, since I don't technically have a home."

"Not going to happen."

He could tell that once again, DiNozzo was struggling to keep his emotions under control. Tony was a time bomb waiting to go off and Gibbs felt like he constantly had to diffuse the younger man; he feared that one day, he wouldn't be able to de-escalate his friend and the repercussions would be severe.

Tony's eyes were once again filled with hatred as his words dripped with venom. "Why? Because you say so? Because the almighty Leroy Jethro Gibbs forbids it?"

Gibbs visibly bristled at Tony's bitter words. His first impulse was to head slap DiNozzo, but he quickly tamped down the urge; he would not react in the way that Tony expected. Gibbs realized that his actions couldn't be motivated by anger. He had to keep in mind that the Tony DiNozzo that he knew would have never challenged him in such a manner; the eager to please senior field agent had been replaced by the callous shell of a man who had been through hell and lived to tell about it.

"No," he sighed softly. "You'll be staying with me until you get on your feet. It's not a handout, it's one friend helping another friend."

Tony's expression softened slightly as he considered his words. Gibbs was relieved that DiNozzo actually remained in control of his temper. Whether he admitted it or not, Tony was terrified of hurting someone again, including Gibbs. "Tony?"

"What?"

"Want to talk?" Gibbs had no idea why he even asked Tony if he wanted to open up; he knew that the ex-agent wasn't ready, but he had felt compelled to offer to listen.

"No," Tony growled, his mask slipping firmly back in place. "So, one more day and I can leave?"

"As long as you rest and do what the doctor says."

"Fine. I'll do it."

Gibbs knew he had one more hurdle to cross. "There's one other condition that…"

"There always is," Tony sarcastically replied.

Gibbs despised placing such constraints on DiNozzo, but he didn't have a choice. "Dr. Neal wants you to remain under a doctor's care. I'm going to ask Ducky to come by and check on you periodically. It'll hopefully save you a few trips back to the hospital," he reasoned. "Is that okay?"

"Doesn't sound like I have much of a choice."

"I'm trying to help you, Tony. You've got to meet me halfway."

Tony nervously licked his lips. "I know," the young man whispered. "I know."

The Marine extended his hand, hoping that Tony would shake it; the miniscule action would demonstrate the first step towards rebuilding the trust between them. His heart sank when DiNozzo stared at his hand and then down at his blanket. He started to pull his arm back when Tony suddenly grabbed onto his wrist and met his gaze. After a few seconds, Tony released him and lay back against his pillow.

When Tony finally spoke, his voice was barely audible. Gibbs had to strain to hear what he was saying. "It's hard," DiNozzo began. "It's hard to comprehend the fact that I'm not going back to prison. I feel like I'm going to wake up and I'll find out it's a dream."

"It's not a dream," Gibbs tried to assure him.

Tony seemed to withdraw even more as he slid down beneath his blanket. Gibbs knew that DiNozzo was through talking for the moment and he had to respect his friend's wishes. His hand hovered over Tony's shoulder for a second before he stood up and headed towards the door. He needed some air and DiNozzo needed time alone. As he reached for the door knob, Tony called out to him.

"Gibbs?"

"Yeah?"

"I guess it'll be okay if Ducky…well, you know."

Gibbs smiled. "Yeah, I know. Get some rest, Tony; I'll be back later."

The team leader stepped outside and pulled the door closed behind him. Leaning against the wall, he blew out a breath and relished in the small triumph that he had just witnessed. For the first time in a long time, Gibbs felt a glimmer of hope. Now, all he had to do was to hang on to that hope and convince Tony to do the same.


	18. Chapter 18

**This is a transition chapter, but it's still full of angst. Thank you to all my loyal readers and those who have just joined the party! Your support is what keeps me inspired. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks to AZGirl for her awesome beta job…any remaining mistakes are mine! **

**Part 18**

Tony silently contemplated shoving Dr. Neal's stethoscope down his throat, but he knew to do so would insure him another day in the hospital and more than likely earn him a visit to the psych ward. Today was the day that he was supposed to get out of the hospital and go stay with Gibbs, but first he had to tolerate a so-called final examination without punching his physician in the face. He struggled to keep his emotions in check; Tony was determined not to show any pain or weakness. His body was taut as his eyes followed the doctor's every movement. There had been too many times in prison when the Hippocratic Oath didn't seem to pertain to him, making him extremely wary of the medical profession.

"You're blood pressure is still a bit on the high side," Dr. Neal observed.

He bit back the sharp retort on the end of his tongue, deciding to forgo the profanity running through his mind. "White coat syndrome," Tony coolly answered.

"Really?" the other man pressed.

"What else do you want me to say?"

"I'd like a little bit of honesty as to how you're feeling."

Tony shrugged. Did the good doctor already forget the fiasco of the other day? "I'm right as rain." He hoped that his icy tone provided Dr. Neal with a hint that he wasn't in the mood for small talk. "Can I leave?"

"I'd like for you to stay another day, but since Agent Gibbs has made arrangements for another doctor to take over your care, I guess my objection doesn't bear any weight. I'm going to prescribe an antibiotic and something for pain. The pain medicine also has a mild sedative that…"

He shook his head defiantly. "I'll take the antibiotic, but you can keep the other; I don't need it."

"I think you do," Neal countered. "You're a smart man. You know that pain will interfere with your recovery both physically and mentally; I'll make sure that it's a mild one; just enough to take the edge off."

Tony's eyes narrowed, his hardened gaze daring the doctor to continue down the path he was on; he didn't need to be reminded that he was on the edge of losing his sanity and he most certainly didn't need any kind of medication that would affect the tenuous control that Tony had over his emotions. "No," he firmly repeated.

"All right, I'll write the prescription but you don't have to fill it," the physician reasoned.

Either the doctor was aware of the fact that Tony was about to reach his emotional limit or he had decided that he simply didn't want to argue any longer. He mused that it was probably the latter; Dr. Neal more than likely wasn't too concerned about his mental well-being. Tony figured that the physician was probably thrilled that he would no longer be in his care. Truthfully, he couldn't blame the doctor; if he were in Dr. Neal's position, he would be ecstatic to get rid of such a troublesome patient as himself.

"Can I go _now_?" Tony asked. His patience was waxing thin and he wanted nothing more than for the doctor to leave him alone.

"Yeah, you can go. Agent Gibbs is waiting outside with your clothes. Want me to send him in?"

Tony didn't bother to hide his frustration and irritation with Dr. Neal; the man obviously had a gift for asking stupid questions. "Yeah, and I want _you_ to leave," he growled.

He fought against the urge to literally wipe the smile off of the doctor's face. "Whether you believe it or not, Mr. DiNozzo; I'm trying to do what's best for you," Neal stated.

DiNozzo visibly bristled. He clenched his fist and pounded his mattress. "Who are you to tell me what's best for me? Just go!"

"If you need anything, you can…"

"I won't."

The doctor nodded and hastily left the room. Ignoring his body's protests, Tony sat up and shoved the sheet off of him. He studied his still swollen knee, muttering a curse under his breath for his obvious weakness; there wasn't any way that he could watch his back if he couldn't even walk. Taking a deep breath, he took his good arm and slowly began to carefully maneuver his legs off the side of the bed.

"Heard you were ready to get out of here."

Even though Tony wouldn't admit it out loud, he was almost glad to see Gibbs. The team leader was the only link to his freedom and he desperately was trying to cling to it with all that he had. Meeting Gibbs' piercing orbs, he finally to find his voice and answered, "Yeah. Been ready."

"I got your ride right here," Gibbs said, patting the back of the wheelchair he had pushed in the room. "I also brought you some clothes to change into," Gibbs said. "Soon as you're ready, we'll get out of here."

Gibbs laid the bag beside him and unzipped it. Tony reached inside and pulled out a blue button up shirt. It seemed silly that he found himself grateful that it wasn't orange; he really didn't care if he ever saw or wore that particular color again. Clutching it tightly, he quietly appreciated the softness of the material; it was nothing like the shirts that he had worn in prison. He then pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants and laid them on his lap as he wondered why the team leader had kept some of his clothes.

"Something wrong?" the older man asked.

Tony shook his head. "No, I just…I just can't figure out why you still have these."

"I packed up your clothes; I knew that you would need them some day."

"My suits?" He wasn't sure why he was even concerned about his designer suits; Tony really had no desire to wear them any longer. They represented a part of his life that no longer existed and he had no intention of trying to recreate his past.

"They're hanging in the closet in my spare bedroom, along with your other clothes."

At least he wouldn't have to go and buy a new wardrobe; of course, at the moment, he couldn't purchase anything. Tony didn't have any money and it didn't look like he would be getting any in the near future. His injuries would keep him tied to Gibbs' place for a couple of weeks, but he was going to have to figure out something. He couldn't rely on others to take care of him; the only person he completely trusted was himself and there were days that he wasn't sure that he could do that.

Unsure of what to say, Tony finally settled for, "Guess it's a good thing you thought ahead."

"I told you Tony; I never doubted your innocence," Gibbs reminded him.

Tony shrugged, wincing at the pain that the simple movement had caused him. He quickly schooled his features and slowly reached around his back to undo the tie of his hospital gown. A groan escaped his lips as every bruise that littered his body began screaming in unison, prompting Tony to silently curse those responsible for his latest injuries.

"I can help you with that."

He met the other man's concerned gaze, sensing nothing but genuineness in his offer. Tony wasn't used to having anyone offer to help him and he certainly wasn't used to accepting help from anyone. If he allowed Gibbs to assist him, then it would be a giant leap of faith on his part and he wasn't sure he was ready to take that jump. Then again, he really didn't have a choice. The dull ache resonating through his body and the fact that he had a cast on his wrist made normally easy tasks extremely daunting; Tony wasn't sure he could even lift his arms to slip on his shirt, much less put on his pants.

The younger man despised being dependent on anyone; even before his time in prison, he had done his best to keep his pain and weakness hidden from others. It was a trait that had served him well-up until now. To admit that he needed help was to allow Gibbs to see the pathetic man he had become; of course, the agent probably already realized that and would one day regret ever trying to help him.

Tony barely nodded, but it was enough for Gibbs, who proceeded to undo the back of his hospital gown. He visibly tensed at the other man's closeness, wondering if he had made the right choice to let the team leader help him. He clenched his fist and closed his eyes, silently willing his mind to escape to a safer place; unfortunately, his thoughts wouldn't cooperate as his unwanted memories began to return full force.

"Tony?" Gibbs called to him. "You okay?"

His eyes snapped open as he gasped for a breath. Swallowing hard, Tony forced those undesirable images back towards the dark recesses of his mind. "Just get it over with."

Moving swiftly and efficiently, Gibbs helped him maneuver his arms out of the gown and into his shirt. Tony couldn't look the silver haired man in the eyes; he didn't like the fact that he was too weak to perform the most basic task of getting dressed. He also didn't like the fact that Gibbs had seen the myriad of scars that covered his chest and back; although the Marine had yet to say anything, Tony knew that it was only a matter of time before the questions began to flow.

No longer able to tolerate the closeness of the other man, Tony pulled away from Gibbs and began buttoning his own shirt with his uninjured hand. "I've got it. Thanks."

Gibbs took a step back and watched Tony as he clumsily tried to manipulate the buttons. Determined, the former agent finally settled for getting three buttons in the correct holes. He stared at the pants that were still lying on his lap and wondered how he was supposed to get them on. Tony was sure that his throbbing knee was not going to support his weight and he wasn't prepared to ask for help again.

Thankfully, Gibbs seemed to be able to read his mind. "I'll get them started and then I'll stand you up and you can pull them up," the team leader offered.

Once again, Tony knew that his options were limited. He was having a difficult time controlling his urge to strike out defensively. "Okay," he whispered.

His eyes closely followed Gibbs' deliberate movements as the agent reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of boxers and his socks and shoes. Kneeling down in front of him, the Marine carefully put the socks on Tony's feet. The knowledge of what the Marine was about to do made him nauseous. Grabbing the edge of his mattress, he struggled against the urge to throw up while he once again wrestled against the memories of the past year.

Gibbs seemingly knew what was going through the younger man's mind as he stood up and waited for Tony to acknowledge him. "I'm not going to hurt you, Tony" he vowed. "Whenever you're ready."

He kept reminding himself that Gibbs then quickly and efficiently slipped on the younger man's boxers and sweatpants, pulling them up just above his injured knee. Tony was grateful that his gown still covered him from the waist down; the thin piece of material was the only thing that was preventing him from falling off that dangerous precipice he was teetering on.

"Doing okay?" Gibbs wanted to know.

Truthfully, Tony felt like he was in a whirlwind of anger, anxiety, and frustration, but he refused to acknowledge those emotions and simply replied, "Yeah."

He knew that Gibbs didn't believe him, but that didn't deter the man from wanting to help him. "I'm gonna put your shoes on and then I'll help you stand."

Tony nodded, inadvertently holding his breath as Gibbs finished putting his shoes on. Standing to his full height, the team leader situated the wheelchair in front of him and waited for him to make the first move. He slid forward and permitted Gibbs to assist him to a tenuous standing position. Keeping his weight off his bad knee, Tony had no idea how to keep the gown in place while managing to finish pulling up his pants, so he reluctantly allowed the gown to fall to the floor. Moving as swiftly as his aching body allowed, he pulled up his pants with his good hand while the Marine held on to his trembling frame. Gibbs then carefully helped him sit in the wheelchair and pulled up one of the leg rests in order to prop his knee up.

"There you go," Gibbs said. "Comfortable?"

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "Let's get out of here."

Gibbs pushed him out of the room and headed down the corridor towards the elevators. The fact that he was actually leaving the hospital and not returning to prison was mind boggling. Part of him still didn't believe he was going to be a free man; something was bound to go wrong and he would be right back behind bars. He knew that he should try and tamp down the negative thoughts, but undesirable memories and feelings were now a part of him and he doubted that he could ever change that.

He half listened as Dr. Neal gave the team leader his prescriptions and instructions. Tony really didn't care what the physician had to say; he still didn't have any intention of taking anything but an antibiotic. Ignoring the doctor's well wishes, he stared straight ahead as Gibbs pushed him down the hall. As the doors opened and the lead agent wheeled him in the lift car, Tony closed his eyes, mentally counting the seconds until he was out of the elevator and heading towards Gibbs' car. He blew out a slow breath as he absorbed the warmth of the sun. Freedom was within his grasp; however, Tony had no idea if he was going to be able to hold onto it.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The ride home had been silent. Gibbs had never been one for small talk, but in the past, DiNozzo had always talked enough for both of them. Now, Tony's monosyllabic responses had all but quenched any hopes of a lengthy conversation. The Marine never thought that he would miss the incessant chatter, but now, he would give anything to hear DiNozzo spout a couple of movie references. He could only hope that one day, things would return to some semblance of normal, not just for Tony, but for everyone.

It had been an hour since they had arrived at his house; it had taken nearly half that time to get Tony inside and settled on his couch. Gibbs knew that Tony was in a great deal of pain but the team leader was also aware of the fact that DiNozzo wouldn't take any medication to alleviate his discomfort; he hoped that his friend would eventually be open to taking something over the counter. Thankfully, the young man had fallen asleep from pure exhaustion and now Gibbs was in the kitchen fixing a pot of coffee, waiting for Ducky to arrive.

He wondered how Tony was going to accept Ducky's constant presence. The Scotsman had a way of putting people at ease; he just hoped that Ducky could work his magic on DiNozzo and that the injured man would allow the ME to help him. Tony was completely on edge and his ability to trust had been shattered; both he and Ducky would have to use a great deal of caution as they tried to help Tony rebuild his life.

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee as he sat down at his table. He began sorting through his mail but soon found his eyes drifting towards the sleeping man on his couch. Even asleep, Tony seemed to be guarded; his face was drawn as he struggled with demons that Gibbs could only imagine. The team leader had seen and experienced a great deal in his life, including losing his family; that was an emotional and physical pain that couldn't be described. However, he couldn't begin to comprehend having his freedom taken away so abruptly and spending a year in prison; Tony had lost everything during that time, except for a few close friends and even those he had kept at a distance.

He watched the uneven rise and fall of Tony's chest, wondering if he had made the right choice to take DiNozzo out of the hospital. Tony could barely sit up and it was obvious that he was feeling every bruise that littered his body; the only consolation that he had was that at least DiNozzo felt safe enough to close his eyes. Gibbs silently contemplated the scars that he had seen when he had been helping Tony. The pale stripes that crisscrossed his torso were evidence of more than one knife fight. There were some scars that he couldn't identify, but he easily recognized the ones caused by cigarettes. He'd read Tony's medical files from prison; they were obviously incomplete and Gibbs wondered if he would ever know the whole story of how Tony received some of those wounds. Truthfully, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

The sound of the door opening forced his thoughts back to the present. Tony sat up, gasping as he was reminded of his aching ribs. His expression betrayed his uncertainty and his anxiety; the little bit of sleep that DiNozzo had managed to get did very little to soothe his frazzled nerves. Gibbs gestured for him to stay put. "It's all right," he reassured Tony. "It's just Ducky."

Gibbs rose to meet the ME, Tony's eyes following his every movement. "Hey, Duck," he quietly greeted. "Come on in."

He took Ducky's hat and coat as the older man carefully approached Tony. Now was the moment of truth; it was time to see how DiNozzo was going to react to his longtime friend. The two men used to be able to sit and talk for hours about absolutely nothing; Gibbs had a feeling that this conversation was going to be rather one sided.

"Hello, Anthony," Ducky said.

Tony cleared his throat and replied, "Ducky."

"It's good to see you."

The team leader watched as Tony sat up straighter. Gibbs realized that DiNozzo was going on the defensive; he didn't want to be caught off guard, even if he was surrounded by friends. The knot in the agent's gut pulled tighter. Doubts began to resurface in his mind; despite the fact that Tony had agreed to let Ducky take over his medical care, Gibbs wondered if he should have waited a day or so before allowing the two of them to meet face to face.

He had to give Ducky credit; the doctor was making sure that he wasn't perceived as a threat by Tony. "Do you mind if I sit down in this chair?" the ME asked.

Tony shrugged. "It's not my house."

Gibbs and Ducky exchanged a worried glance. The Marine motioned for the doctor to sit. "Want some coffee, Duck?" he asked, trying to break the uncomfortable silence in the room.

"Now, Jethro, you know that I do not drink that swill; but I will have some tea." The lead agent rolled his eyes as he turned to go towards the kitchen, hoping that Ducky didn't delve into the benefits of hot tea versus coffee.

"I'll have some coffee," Tony rasped.

He was taken by surprise by Tony's request. With just a couple of exceptions, this was the first time that Tony had actually asked for something for himself. Usually his requests involved leaving him alone, but this was personal and for a moment, Gibbs felt a glimmer of hope. "Still want that crap you call creamer?"

"If you got it."

"Coming up."

Gibbs went to the kitchen and put the water on for Ducky's tea. He glanced in the living room to see Ducky softly talking to Tony. DiNozzo seemed to be listening even though he had yet to offer any kind of response. The former agent wouldn't talk until he was ready, but at least he was listening. Gibbs wanted to hear what the ME was saying to him, but he allowed them some privacy. He was sure that Ducky would fill him in later, but until then, he would wait and make Tony the best cup of coffee that he'd ever had.


	19. Chapter 19

**Buckle up! It's a roller coaster of a chapter! Lots of emotional angst, tortured memories, and a few other goodies! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I appreciate your patience and loyalty and hope that it's worth the wait. I'm honored by the continued alerts and reviews to this story. Thank you so much!**

**Part 19**

Tony silently cursed the awkwardness of the cast on his wrist as he attempted to hold the steaming cup of coffee between his hands. Gingerly taking a sip of the brew, he tried to avoid looking at Ducky or Gibbs, both of who were seemingly waiting for him to make a move. Ever since the ME's arrival, Tony had felt like he was being evaluated not just physically, but mentally as well. He had agreed to permit Ducky to assume the responsibility of his care, but the injured man wasn't prepared to have his thoughts and feelings dissected.

He carefully placed the cup on the table in front of him and then leaned back against the cushion. Tony was in pain, but it was bearable; he had to remain in control if he was going to be able to stay focused enough to dodge Ducky's probing questions. The ME would probably put every action and every word under a microscope to find out what was going through his mind. Tony honestly wished he could share the memories and images that haunted him, but they were a burden he was obviously meant to carry alone.

For the last few minutes, he'd been half listening to Ducky as the Scotsman tried to engage him in small talk; there had been a time when he would have enjoyed soaking up the older man's volumes of what others deemed as useless knowledge. However, right now, he would have been just as satisfied if Ducky and Gibbs left, leaving him alone so that he could come up with a plan for the future.

Tony also knew that it would be a long time before he was truly alone; he wasn't sure how long he could handle the constant scrutiny and well-meaning platitudes from his friends.

Friends. That was a word that he used sparingly. Tony really wasn't sure exactly how many friends he had left, but he knew that two of them were sitting across from him. He also had no idea why they would still want to be his friend; he wasn't the same Tony DiNozzo and it seemed like they couldn't accept that fact. Both Gibbs and Ducky seemed determined to force him back in the mold of the perfect agent, but that image had been shattered by the harsh reality of prison. He was a different man, his heart calloused by the experiences that he had endured and would take to his grave.

"Anthony?"

He forced himself to meet Ducky's concerned glaze. "Yeah?"

"Did you hear my question?"

"No," he sighed. "Sorry. Guess I drifted off."

"That's quite understandable; you must be exhausted. Are you in much pain?"

"No," he lied. Truth was, he did hurt, but he didn't want to be drugged. At the moment, control was at the essence of his being and Tony couldn't afford to lose the last miniscule piece of his soul. "I'm fine, Ducky."

"Anthony, you can let your guard down long enough to…"

Tony stared at the ME, masking his disbelief at the naivety of Ducky and his statement. There was no way in hell that he could let down his guard; not now, not ever. It didn't matter that he was among friends; the young man couldn't afford to display even the slightest hint of trust towards anyone, including Gibbs and Ducky. He was aware that he was condemning himself to a lonely existence once his name was officially cleared, but Tony was beginning to like the idea of becoming a hermit.

"Did I say something wrong?" the doctor asked.

He blew out the breath he'd inadvertently been holding. Tony realized that Ducky had only wanted to help and he certainly couldn't fault the physician for trying to lift his spirits. "No," he finally replied. "I think I'd like to rest now." Even though he wouldn't sleep, resting would provide him an excuse to avoid the strained conversation that had been taking place the last hour or so.

"Certainly," Ducky conceded. "Rest is just what the doctor ordered. Perhaps later, you will permit me to change your bandages."

Tony didn't want anyone else seeing his scars, but his freedom required him to submit to Ducky's ministrations. He gave a slight nod and then slowly and carefully, swung his legs upon the couch and lay down. His body tensed as Ducky stood over him and started to cover him with an afghan. Tony's good hand shot up and grabbed the elderly man's wrist.

"It's all right, Anthony," the ME assured him. "It's a bit chilly in here; Gibbs doesn't believe in heat."

The doctor was trying to alleviate the tension with a small joke at the team leader's expense, but Tony failed to see the humor. "I can do it," he quietly insisted.

Releasing Ducky's wrist, he took the blanket and with some effort, covered his aching body. Closing his eyes, he found himself hoping that Gibbs and Ducky would take the hint and leave him alone. He wasn't ready to talk and he certainly wasn't in the mood to sit around and dance around the awkward silence in the room. Tony wondered if there was always going to be that stigma of uncertainty and fear whenever he was in a room. The looks of pity and the unnerving silence were almost as difficult to deal with as the nightmares that constantly plagued him—the key word being _almost. _

The memories of the humiliation and pain that he had endured were forever etched into his mind. Even in his waking hours, those horrid images never truly went away, but at least Tony felt that he could maintain a tighter grasp on them. He despised himself for the control that his memories had over him, but in order to release those demons, Tony would have to confront them and he couldn't do that until he was completely alone. The sooner he could get out from under Gibbs' watchful eye, the sooner he could begin figuring out how to cram all those memories into a box and throw away the key, providing there was a box big enough to contain them.

He heard Gibbs and Ducky head into the kitchen, prompting him to open his eyes and stare at the ceiling. Tony knew that he wouldn't be able to hold out against the exhaustion that was seeping into every fiber of his being. He realized the he was safer than he had been in a year and therefore, he should take advantage of the opportunity to sleep; however, Tony knew that it was going to be a long time before he truly believed it.

As Tony's eyes began to close, he found himself wondering if perhaps Gibbs or Ducky had slipped something in his coffee to make him sleep. Surely they wouldn't risk shattering what little trust he had placed in them just to get him to rest; if he had actually thought that was the case, he would have walked out the door of Gibbs' home and taken his chances on the streets. Gibbs promised that he had Tony's six; he just hoped the team leader could keep his word.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs poured himself another cup of coffee before heading towards the door that led to his basement. He figured that if Tony was going to sleep, it would probably be a lot easier to do so without an audience. Motioning for Ducky to follow him, the two men quietly went downstairs. The Marine left the door slightly cracked so he could hear Tony just in case he needed anything; of course, that was providing that DiNozzo even asked for help.

Leaning against his workbench, he stared at the frame of the boat in front of him. This particular project had been abandoned after Tony had been sentenced; trying to prove DiNozzo's innocence had taken priority and had consumed every moment that he was not working a case. Gibbs had lost his desire to work on his boat, but now the urge was returning; he had a feeling that he was going to need this refuge in the future days. Once DiNozzo was officially cleared, he would have to face the monumental task of helping Tony rebuild his life. If today was any indication, the agent was going to have his work cut out for him.

"So, Duck," he sighed. "What do you think?"

The ME didn't have to guess as to what he was talking about. "I think that Anthony has a long road ahead of him. He's scared."

Gibbs nodded in agreement. Tony was definitely scared, but then again, so was he. The lead agent was terrified that he would screw up and DiNozzo would end up paying the price. He felt like he was walking on eggshells around the younger man, which was something that he wasn't used to doing. His ability to read his former senior agent seemed distorted by the man that Tony had been forced to become.

"Can't blame him," Gibbs pointed out.

Ducky sat down on one of the sawhorses and crossed his arms; his eyes betraying a mixture of worry and sympathy for the injured man upstairs. "He's been through quite the traumatic experience this past year. I don't think either of us could begin to understand everything that he has endured."

"I've read his medical files and the other reports from the prison; you probably should take a look at them," he suggested.

"Are you sure that Tony would be all right with that?"

"No, but he's not going to tell you anything and you're responsible for his medical care now; you need to know what you're dealing with."

"I agree, but…"

"Duck, please."

Gibbs didn't want to admit that part of the reason that he wanted the physician to read the files was so that he wouldn't be alone in his knowledge regarding what had happened to Tony; perhaps Ducky would be able to come up with a better way to approach DiNozzo and help him conquer the demons that were haunting him.

"All right, Jethro. I'll do it, but you have to make Anthony aware of what I am doing," Ducky warned. "We can't take, actually, let me rephrase that. You can't take the chance on breaking what little trust he has managed to salvage; honesty is the best policy."

He knew that the ME was right. Tony's trust was fragile and it wouldn't take much to shatter it. "All right," the team leader conceded.

Truthfully, making sure that Ducky was aware of DiNozzo's medical history was the least of his problems. There were so many things that needed to be done regarding Tony's future that he had no idea where to begin. Although there wasn't much he could do until Tony was officially cleared, he could at least set the proverbial ball in motion.

"I guess I need to figure out where to go from here," he mused. "All he's got right now is what's in that corner over there." Gibbs had boxed up Tony's possessions and placed them in storage; his clothes were upstairs in the guest room. "Thought about maybe taking up his movies, just in case he felt like watching them."

"I think that's a good idea. It might provide him with a much needed distraction," Ducky reasoned.

Their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of Gibbs' cell phone. Glancing at the caller ID, he recognized the number of Tony's attorney. "Gibbs," he answered. The team leader listened intently as she informed him that the judge wanted to see DiNozzo; it seemed like she had been pushing the paperwork through, trying to get an audience with the court.

"Does he really have to be there?" Gibbs wasn't sure how Tony was going to handle what was probably going to be a media circus. After a brief pause, he muttered, "I'll see what I can do."

Hanging up his phone, he threw it on his workbench. "That was Tony's lawyer; she's already got him a date in court."

"Is that bad?" Ducky asked.

"I don't know. I guess we'll see." Gibbs had no idea how Tony was going to react to the fact that he had to go back to court so soon. DiNozzo no longer enjoyed being around people and he certainly didn't want any extra attention drawn to him; however, this was a necessary step to guarantee his freedom, which would allow Tony to get on with his life.

"I have to check his bandages; I'll be happy to hang around and offer my moral support when you tell him."

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee. "We'll play it by ear. For now, we'll leave him alone. Give him some space."

Picking up two pieces of sandpaper, he handed one to Ducky. "It's good therapy," he explained. As the two men began working on his boat, smoothing the rough areas on the wood, the Marine half listened as the ME began to recall one of his numerous adventures. His mind was racing as possible scenarios formed in his head as to how Tony was going to react to the news that he was supposed to go back to court when the companionable silence was suddenly shattered by a heart wrenching scream.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_Tony wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to stay conscious; he would normally welcome the dark void that sleep provided, but to do so now, would guarantee his death, if not something worse. The young man no longer had any concept of time; he'd been handcuffed to the chair in his cell for so long that the hours had morphed into one seemingly unending day. However, Tony was very much aware of the fact that he was in his current predicament because he was a former cop. Because of this, he had been placed in solitary, but that hadn't guaranteed his safety; to the contrary, it had made him even more susceptible to the beatings and whatever other torments that the guards or inmates could conjure. _

_This particular time, he had been overpowered on his way back from recreation, forced into his cell and handcuffed to a chair. Banks and several of the guards had been taking turns delivering blows to his torso and face; Tony was pretty sure that he had felt a couple of ribs break from under the strain. His wrist and hands were bleeding from his struggles against the restraints keeping him securely fastened to the chair. He had been gagged to keep from calling out to anyone, but it didn't keep him from crying out in pain. _

_Just when he had thought that they were through, they had begun using a taser on him; Tony could hear their laughter as he writhed in agony. Banks truly enjoyed this form of torture and had exercised that option numerous times. His nerves were on fire, his limbs twitching mercilessly from the repeated volts of electricity coursing through his body. He was almost grateful when they discarded their tasers and returned to using him as a human punching bag. _

_His left eye was swollen shut and he couldn't feel the right side of his face. He groaned as the gag was forcibly removed; Tony ran his tongue over his teeth to make sure that they were still intact. His head was jerked back roughly and he felt Banks' rancid breath on his neck._

"_Want us to stop?" the guard taunted. _

_Tony swallowed hard, trying to find his voice. After a few seconds, he managed to speak; his voice was hoarse from the muffled screams that had been coerced from his throat by the guards' brutality. He wanted them to stop, but he wasn't about to beg; Tony still had some pride, but he knew that bit by bit, that was being stripped from him as well. _

"_Figure…you'd have…better…things…t…to do," he rasped. _

"_Not really," Banks said. "We've been instructed to make sure that you know who's in charge. It seems you have a problem with authority and following the rules."_

"_There's only one man's rules…that I follow…and you aren't him."_

_He winced as his tormentor wound his hair between his fingers, making Tony wish that he should rethink the decision to let his hair grow. "We know all about Gibbs and his stupid rules," the crooked guard exclaimed. "Unfortunately for you, he's not here."_

_If he had been more cognizant, the hurting man would have thought to ask exactly how Banks knew about Gibbs' rules. Right now, it didn't matter; all his energy was focused on staying conscious and more importantly alive. One of these days, he had a feeling that he would welcome death, but this wasn't that day. "I guess…that means…that it's fortunate for _you_…that he's not here," Tony pointed out. _

"_You really think Gibbs will get you out of here?" the guard seethed. "If you get out of here it will be in a body bag!"_

_Even though he had no idea how he still had any saliva, Tony managed to spit in Banks' face. He was actually surprised that he had any fight left in him, and although that infamous DiNozzo stubbornness had kept him alive so far, it was probably going to get him killed. Unfortunately, his attempt at defiance was met with vicious backhand. He could feel the blood trickling down his chin, but at least he could briefly relish in his small victory._

"_You will learn respect!" Banks roared. "I own you, DiNozzo. You're mine to do with as I please!"_

"_I don't…think so," the hurting man gasped. "Nobody…owns me."_

"_We'll see about that."_

_Tony could barely see what Banks was doing, but he knew that it couldn't be good; one of these days, he was going to learn to keep his mouth shut. He tensed as the other two guards, Frick and Frack, as Tony liked to refer to them, held his shoulders firmly back against the chair. His screaming body prevented him from putting up too much of a fight; Tony could barely make out Banks' image as he came towards him carrying what looked like to be a syringe in his hand. _

"_W…what's that?" Tony stammered._

"_I'm not quite sure. It could be heroin or it could be morphine," the officer taunted. "You'd like that wouldn't you? A little pain relief?"_

_He had to admit that some morphine certainly would take the edge off the constant agony he was enduring; Tony also knew that losing that edge could possibly mean losing his life. "No," he grunted. _

"_Or it could be something far worse."_

_The former agent clenched his jaw and tried to fight against his restraints as the needle pierced the bruised skin of his forearm. Tony cried out in frustration as the medicine coursed through his system. His limbs began to grow heavy and his ability to move was quickly diminishing. He heard the sound of the handcuffs being undone and as much as he wanted to strike out, Tony couldn't move. He felt one of the guards push him out of the chair and to the floor. Why couldn't he move? He could hear, he could feel, he could...a sense of dread consumed Tony as the guard knelt down beside him._

"_It could be something to take the fight out of you. Thanks to the doc, a little bit of this concoction and you can't move. You can't fight, DiNozzo." Tony could now feel Banks' breath on his ear. "You can't do anything but lay there and take it. We can do anything to you and you can't do a thing about it."_

_No! Tony felt like he was going to throw up. The thought of what these men could do to him terrified him. He had to fight, but he couldn't even lift his arm; he was helpless and Tony could do nothing but rectify his current situation. His ability to scream out loud had been stolen from him; the only form of vocal protest was a feral growl as he attempted to warn his attackers. As Banks and the other guards laughed at him, a string of profanities ran through his mind. He vowed that one day these men would get what was coming to him, provided that he lived through this nightmare. _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A savage scream tore from his throat.

Tony sat up, drenched in sweat; his breaths coming in strained gasps. His eyes darted about the room, making sure that he was alone; it took him a few seconds to realize that he wasn't in prison. He shivered and pulled the blanket up around him as he struggled to control his breathing; his throat was sore from the scream that he had not been able to give life to back then. Tony silently chastised himself for losing control of his emotions; he should have fought harder against his body's desire for sleep.

He heard the pounding of feet coming up the basement stairs. "

"Idiot," he mumbled to himself. Drawing attention to himself was the last thing he wanted to do, yet apparently he'd done just that. The basement door opened and Gibbs and Ducky came rushing over to the couch.

"You okay, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm fine," he lied, trying to hide the fact that he was trembling.

"You sure?"

"I said I was fine!" he roared, wiping the sweat from his head with his good hand. "I'd be even better if you'd leave me the hell alone!"

Once again, he wished that he had another place to go; a place where he could be alone and not have to worry about disturbing others with his nightmares. Tony was going to have to spend the rest of his life learning how to deal with everything that had happened and he didn't want an audience. The young man knew that he probably shouldn't have snapped at Gibbs and Ducky, but he had only a tenuous grasp of his emotions, and the two men had been a convenient target.

"I can't do that, Tony," Gibbs calmly replied.

In Tony's opinion, the team leader was too calm. It was almost like he was afraid that he would say something to upset him; he couldn't stand the fact that Gibbs walked on eggshells around him. DiNozzo knew that he needed to cut Gibbs some slack, but he was afraid. He was terrified of trusting anyone; the only person he could trust was himself and there were days he wasn't sure that he could even do that.

Tony buried his head in his hands. He had to pull himself together or else risk losing his mind. Swallowing hard, he finally met Gibbs' concerned gaze. "I know," he whispered. "I know."

He tried not to tense when the older man gently squeezed his shoulder. At one time, he had craved attention from this man, but now that he had it again, he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to accept it. Tony pulled away from Gibbs and lay back down on the couch. "Sorry to bother you."

"No bother at all," Gibbs assured him. "But since you're awake, there's something I'd like to talk to you about. If you're up to it, that is."

Tony stared at Gibbs, uncertainty dancing upon his weary features. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like what the agent had to say. Blowing out a slow breath, he tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever news that Gibbs had to deliver. He kept telling himself that as long as he wasn't being sent back to prison, that he could handle anything. Now, he wasn't so sure.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello to all my loyal readers! I once again find myself apologizing for the lengthy delay in posting. I wish that writing was something that I could do full time, but with three boys who have very busy schedules, a husband, work, and several other commitments, my time is limited. I write for my own enjoyment and I am honored that others enjoy my stories as well. I appreciate those who understand this and choose to stick with the story; your support and encouragement means the world to me. For those who would rather wait until the story is finished, I understand that as well. I haven't posted another chapter of **_**Undertow**_** yet because I only have about 3 chapters left and I am trying to get it all done so I can post it as a completed story.**

**So, after that public service announcement, on with the next post. Another emotional ride, so please hang on! A special note of thanks to my awesome beta (whom I forgot to mention last time), AZGirl. Any remaining mistakes are mine (translation: I changed a couple of things when she sent it back). Enjoy the post and thanks again for your support! **

**Part 20**

Tony fought against the urge to throw up. He was still reeling from the memories that had recently assaulted him; the all too recent images coupled with the uncertainty of what Gibbs was going to say was causing his gut to churn. Maybe he should just tell the Marine that he was still too tired to talk and wanted to go back to sleep; of course, Gibbs would instantly know that he was lying because sleeping was the last thing he wanted to do now. So, his only option was to hear what Gibbs had to say and hope that he didn't lose the contents of his stomach all over the agent's floor.

He quickly schooled his features, still feeling that he couldn't afford to appear vulnerable to Gibbs and Ducky; the importance of appearing to be in control of his emotions weighed heavily on him. Tony wished that he could walk out the door and not look back; however, considering he could barely stand, he decided that he was going to have to tough it out. Swallowing hard, he finally managed to ask, "What do you want to talk to me about?"

Gibbs cleared his throat. "Ducky and I were talking," the older man began, pausing to spare a glance at the ME.

"And?" Tony pressed. Gibbs had never been one to beat around the bush, so he didn't expect him to start now.

"I was talking to Ducky and since he's going to be taking over as your doctor, I think he needs to look at your medical file."

Tony clenched his jaw to the point that he thought his teeth were going to shatter. The nausea that he was battling seemed to intensify at the thought of Ducky seeing his file. Logically, he knew that it made complete sense for the Scotsman to have access to his medical history, but that would mean that the doctor would know everything that had been done to him. It was bad enough that Gibbs knew, but for anyone else to possess that knowledge was almost too much for his frayed nerves to handle.

He visibly tensed when Gibbs placed a hand on his arm and called out to him. "Tony? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah."

"What do you think? Is it okay?"

"No." Since Gibbs was giving him an option, he was going to go with his initial response. Tony wasn't sure if his protest would even be taken into consideration, but he wasn't going down without a fight. He would have thought that his stubborn streak would have been beaten out of him while he was in prison, but there was still a spark inside of him and when fanned, would turn into a consuming fire. It was what had kept him alive and it was what would protect him from anyone getting too close again.

"Tony, I think you should reconsider," Gibbs said. "Ducky needs to know everything so that he can help…"

"Help me? What the hell does he think he's going to do?"

"DiNozzo," the team leader growled.

Tony knew that he was pushing the limits of the team leader's patience, but he didn't care. For some inexplicable reason, he wanted Gibbs to be as pissed off as he was. Ticking off the Marine was probably not the best idea he'd ever had, but at least the older man would be acting a little more normal. The warm and caring bit that he would demonstrate everyone in a while was becoming a bit too much to bear.

"Ducky reading my file won't change anything!"

"Maybe not, but at least he'll know…"

"What, Gibbs?" Tony challenged. "At least he'll know how messed up I am? I'm pretty sure he can figure that one out, Boss."

He winced at the unintentional slip of the tongue. It had felt so natural to call Gibbs by the all too familiar moniker, but Tony also knew he didn't deserve that privilege. Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the cushion and blew out a frustrated breath. Why couldn't Gibbs and Ducky just leave him alone?

"How about a compromise?" the ME suggested, his soothing tones reflecting the role of a peacemaker.

"Gibbs doesn't compromise," Tony shot back. He paused a few seconds before meeting his mentor's hardened gaze. Yes, he had definitely succeeded in pissing him off.

"He's right, I don't," Gibbs conceded.

"I think in this instance that you're going to have to," Ducky informed the lead agent.

Tony watched the doctor's movements as he sat down on the edge of the coffee table. He had to consciously stop himself from trying to move away from the elderly man. Although he knew that Ducky wouldn't hurt him, that didn't change the fact he couldn't fully trust the doctor. There wasn't anyone he could trust, including himself.

Ducky met Tony's hardened gaze. "First of all, I need to give you a quick examination and change those bandages—_that is_ non-negotiable."

"And then what?"

"How about I look at the most recent injuries from your most recent hospitalization? I won't read anything else in your file without your permission."

Tony remained silent. The compromise seemed acceptable, but his lack of trust had him doubting the ME's words. He despised himself for his inability to trust; Ducky had never lied to him before but that didn't stop the doubts in the dark corners of his mind from making themselves known.

"Anthony, it is not our intention to upset you," Ducky reasoned. "However like Jethro said, I would have a better idea of your treatment if I knew…"

His harsh glare shifted between Gibbs and Ducky. Once again, Tony felt like he was being backed into a corner and his instinct was to come out swinging. His injuries prevented him from him any kind of physical altercation, but he knew that his words could be just as hurtful and venomous. Tony's tight voice reflected the tenuous control that he had over his emotions. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"If you knew what?" he challenged. "If you knew everything that happened to me?" Tony cradled his ribs with his good arm as he sat up straighter. "Why? Why do you want to know? Why is it so freakin' important for you to know how many times my ribs were broken or how many times I had to get stitches? Why do you want to know about the times I was beaten until I was unconscious? Why do you want to know about the drugs that they forced me to take? Why do you want to know about…"

Tony stopped his tirade. He had said too much and now the look of pity that he was receiving from Ducky was too much to bear. Falling back against the couch, he bit back a gasp of pain. "Do whatever you want," he sighed. "I don't care anymore." He was tired—tired of fighting, tired of trying to gain some control of his life, and at the moment, he was tired of living.

"Tony?" Gibbs called out to him. The older man's demeanor had done a one eighty. The team leader was no longer on the defensive; he was trying to reach out to him, but Tony wasn't sure that he could handle the sympathetic vibes coming from the Marine.

"What?"

"Duck said he'd just look at the most recent…"

"It doesn't matter, Gibbs. Let him read it."

"Tony…"

"I said it doesn't matter!"

He felt like he was being smothered; Tony couldn't fight the overwhelming desire for some fresh air and more importantly some privacy so that he could get his emotions back under control. Sitting up, he purposefully ignored the constant ache that served as a reminder that he didn't have any business making any sudden moves. "Damn," he mumbled as he braced his ribs.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ducky inquired.

"Need…some air," Tony replied through clenched teeth.

"You need to rest, Anthony."

The young man began muttering a string of profanity under his breath. Once again, he was being told what do and although the doctor was genuinely concerned for him, Tony despised the fact that he wasn't being allowed to make his own decisions. Maybe he wasn't free after all.

"Where do you want to go?" Gibbs interjected.

"Outside." The first time that he had felt any sense of freedom had been when Gibbs had taken him out to the garden at the hospital; Tony needed to be able to experience that freedom again and he couldn't do it being cooped up in Gibbs' house.

"Want me to help you to the porch?"

Tony stared at Gibbs, his expression a mixture of uncertainty and disbelief. One minute, the team leader was pissing him off and then the next, he was bending over backwards to give him what he wanted. The duality of Gibbs' personality at the moment was confusing him. He was beginning to doubt that things would ever be normal between him and the older man again.

"Sure," he finally replied, knowing that he wouldn't make it that far without help.

"Want your chair?"

Tony knew that Gibbs was referring to the wheelchair that they had obtained for his use. He shook his head; the chair was far too confining for his liking and he also needed to get on his feet. Permitting Gibbs to help him stand, he leaned on him as they slowly made their way to the porch. Every step sent waves of pain throughout his body, but he managed to keep his features schooled and his moans silent.

When he finally sat down, a gasp escaped his lips as he sat back in the seat. He bit back another groan as Gibbs situated his knee, propping it up on the small table that had been beside him. Tony closed his eyes, relishing the breeze blowing against his face. The air was crisp, but he didn't mind; it was so different from the staleness of the prison that he had been accustomed to.

"It's a little bit chilly. Want a jacket?" Gibbs asked.

"No. Not right now."

The brilliance of the moon shattered the darkness of the night. Just like he had missed the warmth of the sun, Tony had missed the beauty that the night held; it was something that he would never take for granted again. Maybe when he was finally on his own again, he would take up camping. He had never been one to enjoy spending time roughing it, but the solitude and the desire to only have to rely on himself was becoming more appealing by the moment.

"I shouldn't have asked Ducky to look at your records," the team leader admitted. "I thought I was doing right by you, but I had no right to make that decision."

"No, you didn't."

He had no intention of cutting Gibbs any slack. Tony had spent years acting as a buffer for the Marine's foul moods and sometimes his mistakes, but those days were over. The past year had taught him that he had to stand up for himself because he couldn't trust anyone else to do it. Of course, Gibbs had repeatedly told him that he had his back and sometimes, Tony actually believed him; right now wasn't one of those times. Part of him hoped that the older man would stop trying to gain his trust, but he also knew that Gibbs would never give up; if he had, Tony knew he would still be in prison or dead.

"It's your decision," Gibbs conceded. "Unless it comes down to a matter of life or death, I won't push it."

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Guess I didn't think it through. I have no right to make these decisions for you."

Tony wasn't sure to say. In Gibbs' own unique way, he was offering an apology to him; he had never been sure how to act whenever the team leader showed any sign of remorse. After Kate had died, he had spent the next few days baiting the older man until Gibbs had started acting normal; however, Tony wasn't sure he had the energy to do so again.

"Thanks," he replied, electing not to get into another debate with Gibbs.

"You're welcome."

His gaze followed Gibbs as he sat down in the chair beside him. There was something off with the other man. The agent obviously had something else on his mind and unfortunately, Tony felt obligated to ask about what was consuming Gibbs' thoughts. "Something else wrong?"

Shaking his head, Gibbs answered, "No. Not really."

"Not really?"

"Your lawyer called. Seems like she was able to push your paperwork through; she's got a court date for you to appear before the judge."

"Court?" Tony slowly exhaled as he absorbed the news. Images of sitting in the courtroom as he listened to the evidence mounting against him, his name and reputation being destroyed by people he didn't know began to sift through his mind. The thoughts of setting foot back into a court room made him physically sick. He cradled his head in his hand as he fought back the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him.

_Suck it up, DiNozzo. _He knew that this was just another step towards his freedom that he was going to have to take. It wasn't going to be easy, but nothing had been easy for the past year. "When?" he finally managed to ask.

"Day after tomorrow."

"That's fast."

"Actually, it's long overdue."

Tony shrugged. "I guess." He wasn't sure that he agreed with Gibbs. Tony was still convinced that he had deserved everything that he had gotten; if there hadn't been something wrong with him, then a jury of his peers wouldn't have convicted him and sent him to prison.

"So, I guess I better make myself presentable." Tony was talking more to himself than to Gibbs, but the team leader managed to hear what he had said.

"You don't have to worry about that tonight."

"Actually, I'll probably worry about it for the next two days," Tony reluctantly admitted. He had no idea why he so freely revealed that particular insecurity to Gibbs, but he definitely couldn't pretend that the words hadn't escaped his lips. "But thanks for giving me a heads up; I guess you figured out that I don't like surprises."

"Yeah, I kind of got that," Gibbs smirked.

Tony tiredly smiled as he sank deeper into the chair. "I'm gonna stay here for a while."

"All right. I'll bring you some more coffee."

As Gibbs stood to go back into his house, Tony called out to the older man. "Tell Ducky that it's nothing against him." He really hadn't wanted to hurt the ME's feelings; it had been a while since he had to think about someone other than himself.

"He knows, DiNozzo," the agent assured him. "He knows."

Tony nodded and then turned his gaze back to the quiet street; at the moment, he felt like he could stay on Gibbs' front porch forever. He found himself grateful for the solitude and the feeling of being semi-liberated that he was experiencing; however, it didn't keep him from worrying that everything would be taken away from him when he appeared before the judge. Tony knew that he shouldn't borrow trouble, but considering how his luck had run the past year, it was a hard habit to break.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs walked back in his house to find Ducky pouring a cup of coffee. He nodded his thanks as he took the offered cup and took a sip of the steaming brew. The team leader watched as the ME poured another cup and began to sweeten it with sugar and the hazelnut creamer that he kept stocked just for DiNozzo. Gibbs could vividly recall the first time Tony had come to his house after he had moved to D.C. from Baltimore.

He had offered his new agent a cup of coffee and after one sip, the younger man had immediately sought out something to sweeten the strong beverage. Ever since then, he had kept a supply of sugar and creamer for Tony whenever he came over. Once he learned that Tony was going to be released into his custody, he had thrown out the sweetener that had long passed its expiration date and had bought a new supply so that DiNozzo would have it for his coffee.

"I figured that Anthony was ready for another cup as well," Ducky stated.

"Yeah, he is."

He set his own cup on the counter and took Tony's cup from the Scotsman. "I'll be right back." Within a minute, he had taken DiNozzo his cup of coffee and had returned, making sure the door was closed behind him. Gibbs knew that the best thing for Tony right now was to give him the privacy and the time alone he desired.

"How's he doing?" the older man inquired.

"He's all right; or as all right as he can be. He took the news of the court date better than I thought."

"That's good. I'm sure he's more anxious than we are to get his name cleared."

Gibbs nodded. Who knew exactly what Tony was thinking? He was once able to see behind the façade that DiNozzo wore, but now, the wall barricading Tony's emotions was so strong that he wasn't sure anyone could penetrate it ever again. However, he wasn't going to stop trying. Gibbs realized that DiNozzo had changed and he was going to have to accept that, but at the same time, there had to be a remnant of the man he once knew.

Clearing his throat, he said, "I told him that unless it was a matter of life and death, you didn't need to read his file. I thought I was doing right by him, Duck. It seems that I was wrong – again. I'm not sure I can do anything right anymore."

"When did this turn into a pity party?" Ducky chided. "Have you ever considered the possibility that you two are just going to have to start from square one? Do you remember how Anthony was when he first came to NCIS? He didn't trust anyone; his past experiences had left him wary and it took a year before you were able to get it through his thick skull that you weren't going to throw him under the proverbial bus as so many had done before you."

"I remember." Gibbs retrieved his cup of coffee and sat on the couch. "I remember him taking so many chances when he first started, but he eventually figured out that we were a team."

"Yes," Ducky chuckled. "He finally came to his senses, especially after you head slapped him when he got clipped by that car."

"He could have been killed."

"He saved your life."

"In more than one way." Gibbs knew that Ducky would understand that he was referring to the hole that Shannon and Kelly had left in his heart when they were killed. Tony had become like a son to him and in turn, Gibbs had fulfilled that paternal vacancy in DiNozzo's life as well.

"Just as you have saved his life many times," Ducky pointed out. "Just as you did a couple of weeks ago when you presented the evidence that will clear his name."

Gibbs set his coffee down and leaned back against the cushion. He was so tired. The events of the past year were catching up with him and he was feeling overwhelmed. Pressing his palms against his eyes, he struggled to keep his emotions at bay. How could he help Tony if he was falling apart?

"Jethro?" Ducky called out to him. "Are you all right?"

"Nope."

"I'm here if you want to talk."

The team leader stared at his ceiling. The comfortable silence between the two old friends allowed him to collect his scatter thoughts. "I keep screwing up, Duck," Gibbs admitted. "I want to help him, but I keep hitting brick walls!" He met the doctor's concerned gaze; his friend's eyes exuded compassion and understanding that he didn't deserve. "Do you know why I wanted you to read his file?"

"So that I could help Anthony?"

He shook his head. "No. So I wouldn't have to carry the burden alone. I wanted someone else to know everything that happened to Tony so I wouldn't have to…" Gibbs swallowed hard. "He's got so much going on physically and emotionally and I don't know how to handle it. I can't fix him!"

"And therein lies your problem, Jethro," Ducky pointed out. "He doesn't need you to fix him; Anthony needs you to help him figure out how he's going to start over. Tony knows he can't change the past, but he has a definite say in his future; the problem is that he's scared that the other shoe is going to drop and everything will be taken away from him once again."

"I'm scared too. I'm terrified that…"

A lump formed in his throat, preventing him from speaking. He had never been one to let his emotions control him, but exhaustion and worry had truly taken their toll on him. "I'm terrified that I've lost him. I feel like I'm losing my…my son. Every time I look at him and the pain he's in, I feel like my heart is being ripped out. I just want him to get better."

"It's going to take time," Ducky reminded him. "And a lot of patience."

"Something I don't have a lot of."

"No, but I have a feeling that you're going to learn vast amounts of patience in the next few months."

Ducky gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze as Gibbs sat up. "Remember, Jethro; you don't have to do this alone. You may be the only one Tony wants to talk to right now, but you have the rest of us to lean on. Please don't forget that."

Gibbs nodded his head in agreement. "I know. Thanks, Duck."

"You're welcome. Now, I am going to see if Anthony is ready to change his bandages and then I am going home. It's mother's bridge night and I have to hide the scotch."

The team leader watched the ME as he gathered his medical bag and headed towards the front door. He listened to Ducky's cultured voice as the doctor asked Tony's permission to change his bandages. Satisfied that DiNozzo was going to allow Ducky to take care of him, he lay over on the couch and began to doze. It felt so good to be able to relax; he truly needed a good night's sleep and hoped that tonight would be the first of many more nights of sound slumber.

He heard the door open, startling him to sit upright. Glancing towards the door, he saw the ME grinning at him. "Something wrong?" he asked.

Ducky shook his head. "No. I've changed his bandages and he said that he's ready to come back in. He also wants to know something else."

"What's that?"

The smirk that danced upon the physician's lips puzzled Gibbs. "He wants to know if he should get a haircut before he goes to court," Ducky answered. "If so, he said that he needed to borrow some money and that he didn't want to go to your barber."

Gibbs couldn't help but grin. Perhaps there was hope after all.


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks to everyone who has patiently waited for me to finish Undertow and for this post. Hope it is worth the wait. A special thanks to my awesome beta AZGirl—you're the best. I appreciate all the faithful followers of this story—you keep me inspired. Thank you!**

**Part 21 **

Tony leaned against the sink for support as he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The new haircut and the designer suit did little to hide the dark circles under his eyes or the hardened lines of exhaustion etched on his features. Truthfully, Tony wasn't worried about what he looked like; he was more concerned about the media circus camped outside the men's room, waiting for him to reappear and make his way to the court room. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Thankfully, Gibbs was standing outside the door, making sure that no one followed him in the restroom and ensuring him the privacy he desperately craved.

He thought back to the crowd of reporters that had been waiting for him as he had arrived earlier that day. They had been relentless in their questions, but he had remained silent as Gibbs helped him from the car and into the government complex. His mind was constantly replaying the reporters' questions, exacerbating the pounding in his skull. _How does it feel to learn that you were framed by one of your colleagues? Has the time you spent in prison forced you to become resentful of the very justice system that you worked for? What are you going to do once you're exonerated? Will you return to NCIS? _He truly didn't have an answer to any of their questions, and even if he did, he certainly wouldn't share them with the press.

The sound of running water brought him back to the present; Tony didn't even remember turning on the faucet. He cupped the cool liquid in his hands and splashed his face with water. Grabbing a towel, he quickly dried his face and turned off the water. Throwing the towel away, he grabbed his crutches and steeled himself for the onslaught of inquiries that would assault him as soon as he opened the door.

Much to his surprise, no one was standing outside the door except for Gibbs. A raised brow asked the silent question of the team leader; how had he gotten rid of the reporters? The Marine shrugged. "All I did was guard the door."

"Yeah, right." Tony knew there was more to it than that; Gibbs probably vaporized them with his death stare and disposed of any remaining evidence. It didn't matter. They were gone and the older man had proven once again that he had his back. Apparently, he was going to have to get used to someone standing up for him again. Tony wasn't confident that he would ever be able to make that adjustment, because believing someone would be there for you meant trusting that they would _actually_ be there. How could he expect that of anyone when he barely believed in himself?

"You ready to go in?" Gibbs asked, nodding towards the court room.

Tony glanced at the wooden door. He just had to go through that door and he would be formally exonerated. What if it was a trick? What if something went wrong? What if he ended up back in prison? Tony knew if that happened, he would end up dead; either by the hands of the other inmates and guards, but more than likely, by his own.

He startled when Gibbs placed a guiding hand on his elbow. "Tony? Let's go," the team leader quietly urged.

Tony wondered if the other man had any idea how close he had come to ending up on the floor simply because he had touched him. However, the fact that he was encumbered by his crutches had given Tony time to pause and consider his actions and refrain from hurting his former mentor. He knew he was going to have to get it through his head that he wasn't in prison and that not everyone was out to kill him. _Pull it together, DiNozzo, or you'll go from prison to the looney bin._

With Gibbs close behind him, Tony hobbled into the courtroom. He was grateful that the agent hadn't drawn any attention to his earlier reaction; the Marine always knew when to play it cool. Tony just hoped that Gibbs wouldn't want to talk about it later; he still wasn't ready to allow anyone to delve into his disturbed and wounded psyche.

Ignoring the hushed whispers around him, he finally made it to his seat where his lawyer, Taylor Dylan, was waiting on him. Tony nodded a silent thanks to Gibbs as he helped him sit down. He felt a cold sheen of sweat forming on forehead as the images of his last court appearance began to replay in his mind; the verdict of guilty stilled echoed in his memory and haunted his dreams. Even though he had spent most of last night battling his thoughts and trying to keep his imagination from running wild, Tony still wasn't convinced that this was all just an incredible ruse.

"Tony?" Taylor called out to him. "Drink this."

Taking the offered glass of water, he forced his hand to quit trembling as he sipped the cool liquid. However, he instantly regretted drinking the water as it hit his empty stomach; Tony fought against the urge to throw up, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of his attorney and whoever else happened to be in the courtroom. As a result, the glass slipped from his hand to the floor, shattering into pieces, immediately silencing the low murmur of the others around him.

_Stupid!_ He began quietly cursing himself for his clumsiness and the subsequent embarrassment he felt. Tony knew that someone was cleaning up the mess he made, but at the moment, he couldn't find the courage to even open his eyes. What was wrong with him? He had to hold himself together, especially in front of his lawyer.

Tony sensed someone kneeling beside him. It had to be Gibbs- at least he hoped it was Gibbs. Opening his eyes, he met the Marine's concerned gaze. "It's okay," the team leader reassured him.

"I can't do this," he said, his voice barely audible.

"Yes, you can."

Why did Gibbs have to have such faith in him when Tony didn't have the strength to believe in himself? He clenched his fists and shook his head. "No. No, I can't." He had reached his limit mentally, physically, and emotionally; Tony simply wanted to go home—well, back to Gibbs' house, which was serving as his temporary residence. Maybe he was being a coward, but he wasn't ready for this.

"All rise."

Tony felt the knot in his gut pull tighter as the bailiff ordered everyone to rise as the judge entered the courtroom. Glancing at Gibbs, he quickly schooled his features as he struggled to his feet. _I am so screwed._ He allowed the Marine to steady him as he steeled himself to face his future. _Come on, DiNozzo. You don't have a choice. You can't leave now._

"Be seated," the Honorable Thomas Claymore ordered as he took the judge's bench.

He sat down, his eyes were fixed on the judge as the man began to speak; the last time he had seen Judge Claymore was the day of his sentencing and he had in no uncertain terms had told the former agent exactly what he thought of him.

_***flashback***_

"_Mr. DiNozzo," the judge began. "Before you are taken away to begin your sentence, I would like to say a few things to you."_

_The courtroom was hushed, and Tony wanted nothing more than to crawl under the table; despite knowing he wasn't guilty, the life sentence that he had just received certainly made him feel otherwise. Unfortunately, he had nowhere to hide and he was forced to listen to whatever Claymore wanted to say to him. _

"_I truly despise those who believe they are above the law, but no more so than when that person was supposed to be a servant of the law. You took advantage of your position within in NCIS to commit a heinous crime and didn't think that you would get caught. Well Mr. DiNozzo, you _did_ get caught and now you're going to spend the rest of your life paying for what your crime. Needless to say, being a former cop, life in prison isn't going to be easy for you, but please remember that you deserve every hardship that has come and is coming your way. May God have mercy…"_

_The judge shook his head. "I can't even say it. You don't deserve any mercy." Banging his gavel, he curtly said, "Court dismissed." _

_Tony reluctantly stood to his feet as the bailiffs escorted him out of the courtroom. He tried to forget about the harsh words that had been spoken, but he wasn't convinced that the judge had been wrong in his assessment. He had spent months proclaiming his innocence and only a handful of people had believed him; Tony was beginning to doubt his own innocence and believed that he was no longer worthy to be saved._

_Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Gibbs glaring in the direction of the judge. He hadn't wanted the team leader to be present for his sentencing, but the older man had insisted. Tony knew that Gibbs wasn't pleased by the judge's comments and could tell by the determined look in the older man's eyes that he would one day make Claymore eat those words._

_***end flashback***_

"Before we begin, I am ordering this courtroom cleared of everyone except the D.A., Mr. DiNozzo, and his counsel," the Judge ordered.

As the room emptied, Tony heard the quiet protests of the press and a few others who thought they were going to get treated to a show. He was simultaneously surprised and terrified by this move on the judge's part. The idea of being in the spotlight no longer appealed to the young man; he had spent the last year serving as the center of attention and Tony still bore those scars.

The silence in the room was encouraging his over active imagination; he couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen. Tony gripped the arms of his chair, ignoring the shooting pain in his still healing wrist. He struggled to keep his breathing even as he felt sweat form under the material of his suddenly too tight collar. Gibbs had sat down in the extra chair at their table and Tony knew that he was risking contempt of court by staying by his side. Fortunately, the judge didn't ask Gibbs to leave; instead, Claymore's attention was riveted on him.

"Mr. DiNozzo?"

He nervously licked his lips and answered, "Yes, your Honor?" Tony was terrified at what the judge was going to say. Did he even dare to think that he would receive an apology?

"In light of the exculpatory evidence that has been presented, it is the decision of this court to exonerate you of all charges. Your record will be expunged and you will be free to resume your life," Claymore announced.

Tony's nervousness was quickly subsiding, only to be replaced by the anger that was always near the surface. Claymore had just told him he could resume his life. Did the judge seriously think that he was going to be able to pick up right where he left off? Maybe he should just ask Judge Claymore how the hell he was supposed to resume _his_ life. _His _life had ruined by a crazed forensic scientist bent on revenge and he had lost _everything_.

Tony no longer had a job or a place to live, and people that he had once counted as friends had abandoned him. His personal accounts had been drained to reimburse his attorney and he had no idea about his credit cards and other assets, but he figured that they were either in collections or frozen. However, what bothered him the most was the fact that his reputation had been torn to shreds; his credibility as an agent and as a person had been ruined.

He clenched his jaw, fighting against the urge to blurt out a bitter retort. Tony forced himself to focus on what the judge's words even as his wrath continued to simmer; it wouldn't take a great deal to push him over the edge, but he knew he couldn't afford to do or say anything that would land him back in jail. He found himself grateful that Gibbs was close by; hopefully, the team leader could keep him out of trouble.

"On a more personal note, Mr. DiNozzo," Claymore continued. "I want to apologize for what I said to you at your sentencing. You were done a grave injustice and nothing that I can say or do can change that. I urge you to put this behind you; it will be difficult, but you have already proven that you're a resilient man and I believe that given time, you will once again find your place in society."

"Fancy words," Tony mumbled under his breath.

A harsh glare from his lawyer silenced him; sometimes her stare could almost rival Gibbs' infamous glower. Tony thought he heard Gibbs snicker, but the older man was a master at masking his emotions, so he couldn't be sure. Tony was also an expert at maintaining a façade, but the past year had worn him down, leaving fissures in the wall that he had created.

"Mr. DiNozzo, do you have anything you would like to say?" the judge asked.

"No sir," he quietly replied. "I think it would be better if I didn't say anything." Tony knew that it was in his best interests to remain silent and save his diatribe for later. He just hoped that Judge Claymore didn't press the issue.

"My client wishes to thank the court for its decision," Taylor interjected.

This time it was Tony's turn to glare at her. He truly couldn't believe the words that she had uttered. Why should he thank the court for anything? Tony had been stripped of everything that had ever mattered without a second thought. Judge Claymore had all but told him that he hoped that he ended up dead in prison and his attorney was thanking him; something was definitely skewed. "Like hell!" he snapped, momentarily forgetting that he had been trying to keep his thoughts to himself.

"Counselor, I have a feeling that thank you isn't what your client wants to say," the Judge mused. "Am I right, Mr. DiNozzo?'

"Thank you isn't the first thing that came to my mind," Tony honestly replied. "Quite frankly, your Honor, I don't think you want to hear what I have to say. l I just…I just want to get out of here and..." He paused, choosing his next words carefully. "And _resume_ my life."

From the judge's expression, it was obvious to Tony that Claymore understood the point he was trying to make. "That wasn't a very good choice of words, was it? I apologize for that, Mr. DiNozzo."

"I don't want your apology. I just want to leave this place."

"I don't blame you. Please note that the D.A.'s office will make a statement to the press regarding your exoneration. I wish you the best of luck, Mr. DiNozzo." With a bang of his gavel, Judge Claymore declared that court was dismissed. As soon as the judge and the D.A. left, Tony buried his head in his hands. It was over and he had survived without doing anything that would warrant him being sent back to prison. He could hear Taylor gathering her papers as she was talking to Gibbs; he really wasn't paying attention to what they were saying but he had a feeling that the Marine was trying to get her away from him in case there was any fallout.

He heard her promise to come by later with copies of the paperwork. Tony knew that it could be weeks or months before everything was truly finalized, but right now, he really didn't care. The click of Taylor's heels against the tile floor spoke of a hasty retreat; he breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he and Gibbs were the only ones in the room. The agent sat back down next to him and patiently waited to be acknowledged. After what seemed like an eternity, Tony finally looked up at him and shook his head. "Thanks for dealing with her."

"She was out of line," Gibbs said.

"Yeah. I probably was too."

The older man shrugged. "I think you showed considerable restraint."

"I was afraid not to."

"You ready to get out of here?"

Tony was definitely ready to go back to Gibbs' place; the only problem was that he knew that despite the Marine's earlier efforts that the press was more than likely waiting for him to make an appearance. "You gonna clear the way?"

"Got it all worked out. Back entrance," Gibbs explained. "Ducky's waiting."

A tired grin escaped his lips; once again, the team leader had proven that he had his six. Slowly rising to his feet, Tony grabbed his crutches and after making sure that he had his balance, he followed Gibbs to the side door which led to the back entrance that he had spoken of. They didn't have to wait but a few seconds before Ducky pulled up in the familiar agency vehicle. The ME and Gibbs helped situate him in the back seat, making sure his knee was propped up and that he was comfortable.

"How did it go, Jethro?" Ducky inquired.

"It went, Duck. We just need to get out of here."

"Of course. I'll have you two back to your house in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

Tony was amused by the doctor's assumption that he was going to drive. Some things never change; his former mentor still didn't trust the Scotsman's driving. He fondly recalled Ducky's poor sense of direction and how it was a playful source of contention between him and Palmer. The ME reluctantly handed the keys over to Gibbs and got in the passenger's seat.

He leaned his head against the seat as what little energy he had stored up left his body. Tony was utterly exhausted; today had been yet another day that he never wanted to repeat. The stress was too much for his overtaxed body but he could finally close his eyes, knowing that he was momentarily safe and that he could allow himself a brief respite. Unfortunately, his mind could not rest; his anger was still palpable and the irritation that he felt with the justice system in general was consuming him.

Wrapping his arms around his midsection, he continued to struggle against the nausea that had been plaguing him since this morning. Tony knew that he was eventually going to lose the battle with his stomach; he just hoped that he could wait until he got back to Gibbs' place. He felt like crap and was actually looking forward to lying down even if meant having to succumb to Ducky's well-intentioned ministrations.

He could sense the ME glancing back at him every couple of minutes as they weaved through the busy D.C. traffic. Ducky had been concerned about the stress that his court appearance would cause him and had warned him against doing anything to aggravate his still healing injuries. "I'm okay, Duck" Tony informed the doctor. "Just tired."

"I'm sure that simple fatigue explains the lovely shade of green now adorning your complexion," the physician mused.

"Matches my eyes," he quipped.

"As soon as we get back to Gibbs' house, I am going to give you a quick once over and then you are going to go to sleep. I know that you haven't slept well for the past couple of nights; now that your court appearance is behind you, maybe you can concentrate on getting better."

Tony sighed. He already knew that he would have to permit the Doctor to examine him, so he didn't waste his energy on protesting. Instead, he spent the time considering what his next move had to be. Tony desperately wanted to get out of Gibbs' house; he felt like his every move was being watched and in his opinion, it was too much like prison. He would have to find out if he had any kind of monetary assets left to his disposal and after that, perhaps he could find his own place. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was all he had at the moment.

As they pulled up to the front of the team leader's house, Tony noticed a couple of news trucks parked along the curb. "Don't they ever give up?" he mumbled.

"I'll deal with them, Tony," Gibbs stated as he put the vehicle in park.

"No," he growled. "I'll handle them." Gibbs had spent the majority of the morning keeping the vultures at bay; it was time for him to step up to the proverbial plate. Tony was tired and his frustration with not just the press, but everything, had reached an all time high. It was time to offer a statement and he had a feeling that they weren't going to like what he had to say.


	22. Chapter 22

**I was a little slower proofing than I thought, but here is the first chapter and you should hopefully have the second chapter this evening. I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint you all—I've tweaked it several times. Now, let me say that once again I apologize for the delay but unfortunately real life has to come first. I appreciate everyone who is sticking with me and for the readers who just found this story. Hope you continue to enjoy it. **

**Part 22**

Tony knew that the team leader didn't believe for a moment that he was up to the challenge of confronting the press and truthfully, he wasn't so sure himself. However, it was something that he _had_ to do. The past week had been a continuous nightmare; the media had done everything in its power to make his life even more miserable than it already was. They were like vultures circling overhead waiting for him to keel over so they could swoop down and pick him apart bit by bit. Tony was tired of their games and he was going to put an end to them; after today, his life would be strictly off limits to the press.

"You don't have to do this," Gibbs reminded him. "I'll take care of them."

He bit back a sharp retort. Tony needed Gibbs to understand that he didn't expect or want the older man to serve as his constant protector; he was more than capable of looking after himself. Shifting in his seat, he winced as he was faced with a painful reminder of his current physical limitations—maybe he wasn't as capable as he thought he was. Tony managed to slow his breathing so that he could control the pain as it receded to a dull ache. He also took advantage of the few seconds to douse the flames of his ever burning temper before he answered the Marine. He despised the lack of control that he had over his emotions; it only served to exacerbate his self perceived weakness.

"I don't need you fighting all my battles for me, Gibbs," he wearily replied. "I can do this."

The young man had expected further protest from both Gibbs and Ducky, but fortunately, neither man uttered another word. Instead, the two older men got out of the car and were now positioned outside his door to help him. Tony had to admit that he was grateful for their assistance; his knee was throbbing and he wasn't sure that he would be able to get out of the car on his own. He heard Gibbs order the reporters to back away from the car, informing them that they would receive a statement within a few minutes. Once again, the agent's bone chilling glare seemed to persuade the press to listen to him as they slowly headed towards the porch.

The car door opened and he handed his crutches out the to Ducky; Gibbs took his good hand and carefully helped him out of the car. Once Tony gained his balance, he took his crutches and slowly made his way towards the front door. He knew that he wouldn't be able to make it up the steps; his whole body was seemingly protesting the abuse that the too stressful day had caused. Tony had already decided that he was going to have to suck it up until the press left; there was no way in hell that he was going to allow them to see how weak he actually was.

Once he reached the steps, he slowly turned around to face what he had already deemed to be a lynch mob. Maybe they weren't going to actually lynch him, but he doubted that their intentions were honorable; they wanted a story and he knew that they were more than willing to sensationalize the details of his life. Gibbs and Ducky were on either side of him, offering their silent support as the reporters continued to fire questions at him while simultaneously snapping pictures.

"_Mr. DiNozzo, how are you feeling about today's events?"_

"_Do you think that the justice system failed you?"_

"_Will you be required to testify at the trial of Charles Sterling?"_

"_What about the guards who took part in the repeated assaults against you? Will you be testifying at their trials?"_

"_Do you plan on suing for damages?"_

"_Has NCIS contacted you about reinstating you as an agent?"_

"_Do you feel that you could be an effective agent if you did return to NCIS?"_

Tony was bothered and humiliated by their invasive questions. He had usually supported freedom of the press but at the moment, he was seriously reconsidering his stance on that particular constitutional right. The fact that they had brought up the fact that he had been assaulted on more than one occasion was terrifying; he wanted to put all those memories in a locked box and forget about everything that had happened, but it appeared that at some point in the near future, he would probably have to confront his demons. Why did they care what happened to him? As far as he was concerned, his life was none of their business and was more than prepared to remind them of that particular point. "I have something to say and this will be the only statement that you will get from me." He paused and then added a curt, "Ever."

The small crowd remained hushed, anxiously awaiting his words. As he stared into their hungry eyes, Tony began to wonder if he shouldn't have taken Gibbs up on his offer. He had backed himself into a corner and now he was going to have to fight his way out of it. Tony stood as tall as his still recovering body allowed and nervously cleared his throat.

"I want nothing more than to forget this past year of my life," Tony began, hoping that he sounded more confident than he felt. "Your presence and your never ending questions do nothing but force me to dredge up memories that need to stay buried. You want to know how I feel? Simply put, I don't. I don't allow myself to feel because it serves no purpose; just as most of you serve no real purpose but to write and tell lies in order to humiliate and destroy people's lives. I can vividly recall what you all said about me when I was first accused of murder. Do you all remember? Disgraceful. Embarrassment. And those were some of the nicer things that ended up in print or on television."

Tony felt sick; the urge to throw up was substantially increasing every moment he forced himself to face the crowd of predators. Taking a deep breath, he blew it out and continued. "After this conference or whatever you want to justify it as, is done, my life is off limits. So, let me answer your earlier questions and then I want you all to leave me the hell alone. "Regarding today's events, I have no comment. Do I think the justice system failed me? No comment. I have no idea as to whether I will be required to testify; I personally would prefer to never set foot in another courtroom."

His arms were trembling against the strain of holding himself up with his crutches. He knew he had to end this soon before he ended up face planting on Gibbs' front porch. "I haven't given any thought about money except for the fact that I don't have any. I also have no comment on my future employment. So, to sum everything up in a nut shell, mind your own damn business. Go find something more worthy of your time and leave me the f*** alone. I'm sure that you can find better things to do."

The weary man suspiciously eyed a reporter, who had stepped out from the other members of the press. Tony recognized the gleam in the younger man's eye; this guy was determined to try and bait him. "Excuse me, Mr. DiNozzo?" He didn't give Tony an opportunity to reply. "My name is Martin Jarrells with the _Baltimore Sun_. You failed to address the question regarding the men who assaulted you. Will you be attending their trials and are you concerned that certain elements of your incarceration will be made public?"

Tony clinched his teeth, aggravating the headache that had taken up residence in his skull. This man was purposefully baiting him and his instinct was to take his crutch upside the reporter's head. "No comment," he seethed.

"We're trying to report the truth and…"

"Don't even go there," Tony warned. "I'd hate to whip out my Jack on you." In fact, I'm pretty sure that you, Mr. Miller, wouldn't know the truth if it bit you in the ass." At one time, he would have truly been more than willing to quote Jack Nicholson's full soliloquy from _A Few Good Men_, but now, he lacked the energy and the desire to revert back to habit that most probably considered to be an obvious flaw in his personality. Believe me, you all couldn't handle the truth and you aren't interested in hearing the truth. The best thing for you and all your _friends_ is to leave. _Now._"

The reluctance of the reporters to depart the premises only served to fuel Tony's anger. "Didn't you hear me? Turn off the cameras, put your notepads up, get in your cars and get the hell out of here!" A string of profanity began to escape his lips, but he didn't care. He wanted these idiots to know exactly what he thought of their vulturine tendencies. He started to throw one of his crutches at the reporters but his effort was cut short by the Marine still standing beside him.

"Easy, Tony," Gibbs quietly urged.

Tony ignored the team leader's attempts to dissuade his tirade; he was tired of people telling him what he should do. The past year, he had been told when to eat, when to sleep, when to wake up, and what to think; he was supposed to be free, so why couldn't he say what he wanted? He was so tired of being at the mercy of others.

In his anger, Tony lost his semi-precarious balance; if it hadn't been for Gibbs and Ducky, he would have definitely ended up on the ground. As the two men assisted him into the house, he clenched his jaw against the pain and the nausea that was quickly threatening to overwhelm him. Tony felt a sense of gratitude towards the two men that they had whisked him away from the media circus as he finally lost the contents of his stomach behind the closed front door and on Gibbs' floor.

The trembling young man could feel Ducky and Gibbs supporting him as he heaved. Tony had no idea how long he stayed hunched over throwing up all over the agent's floor; of course he wasn't sure why he was so sick since he hadn't been able to eat much lately. "Sorry," he mumbled when he was finally through.

"Don't worry about it," the Marine said. "Let's get you cleaned up and settled, then I'll worry about that."

He allowed the two men to help him to the bathroom, but when he got to the door, he paused and blew out a shaky breath. "I can take it from here."

"Are you sure?" Ducky inquired.

"I can do it!"

Tony knew he had no reason to yell at the doctor, but his nerves were completely frayed. The stress of the day had finally caught up to him; he wanted to be able to do something for himself and more importantly, he wanted to be alone. He had to pull himself together; Tony had lost control and he had to regain his center, which he couldn't do with an audience.

"I'll bring you a change of clothes," Gibbs quietly offered.

Although they were reluctant to do so, the two men stepped back and allowed Tony to make his way into the bathroom. Closing the door behind him, he set his crutches aside and braced himself against the sink. He refused to look at his reflection in the mirror because Tony knew that the man staring back was a stranger; the young man hated what he had become, but he knew that he could never go back to who he was.

A soft knock at the door brought him out of his self-deprecating thoughts. "It's Gibbs. I've got some clothes for you." Tony opened the door and took the clean underwear, t-shirt, and sweatpants. The team leader also handed him a plastic bag and pointed towards his cast. He nodded his thanks and closed the door, this time locking it, ensuring his privacy. Hobbling over towards the toilet, he lowered the lid and sat down. He slowly began taking his knee brace off and then stripping off his clothes. His movements were slow and guarded, but time no longer seemed to matter to the hurting man.

He carefully wrapped his wrist in the plastic bag so his cast wouldn't get wet. Honestly, he wasn't sure why he even bothered wrapping it up. The cast was supposed to come off in a couple of days and be replaced with a soft one, but Gibbs had gone to the trouble to bring him the bag, so he supposed he could oblige the older man this one thing. Shakily standing to his feet, he turned on the hot water, looking forward to having the warmth cascade over his weary body. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure the door was still locked. Tony wasn't satisfied with a simple visual confirmation. He leaned against the sink and reached for the door and twisted the handle; breathing a sigh of relief, he cautiously stepped into the shower into the streaming water.

As the water hit his back, he momentarily felt the tension in his overly taxed muscles ebb away. He quietly chastised himself for letting his guard down, even for a moment; Tony knew that he wasn't in any danger but it was still difficult for him to completely relax. Despite his injuries, he quickly washed his hair and his body and cut the water off; perhaps one day, he would be able to stay in the shower more than a couple of minutes at a time and not worry about looking over his shoulder.

Tony grabbed his towel to begin drying off. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he stepped out of the shower and onto the rug. Tiredly leaning against the wall, he slid down until he was sitting on the floor. The silence in the room that had been welcome was now unnerving as images and voices began to assault his mind. Memories mixed with the events of the day were merging together, becoming a jumbled mess. Tony began pounding his fist against the floor, not caring that the repeated abuse was shredding his cast. Tears began to stream down his face as he realized that pain seemed to be the only thing keeping him from losing his mind.

Would he ever be completely free? There were so many obstacles in his way and Tony had no idea how to overcome them. A frantic knock at the door forced him to choke back a sob. He was weak and he was ashamed and now Gibbs and Ducky would know what a coward he truly was.

"DiNozzo? You all right?"

Tony swallowed hard and answered through clenched teeth. "I'm fine, Gibbs. I'll be out soon."

"Are you sure?"

He leaned his head against the wall. The only thing that Tony was sure about was that he was one screwed up bastard. He needed to leave before he hurt anyone else. Where would he go? Tony had no idea, but at least he wouldn't be a constant reminder for Gibbs and his former teammates of all that they had lost. He no longer wore the moniker, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo; he was Anthony DiNozzo, former convict and newly self-proclaimed loner.

The sound of the door unlocking forced him back to the present moment. _Damn it!_ he thought to himself. _What did Gibbs think he was doing?_

"I said I was fine!" he barked as the team leader peered inside the bathroom.

"Is that why you're sitting on the floor?"

"I'm fine! Can't you get it through that thick head of yours that…"

"That what?" Gibbs challenged. "That you don't need my help? You're sitting on your ass in my bathroom floor with a towel wrapped around you; seems to me that you need a lot of help. Asking for help is never a weakness, DiNozzo."

He used to think Gibbs' persistence was one of his best qualities, but now, DiNozzo was mentally cursing the steel doggedness that his former mentor possessed. Making sure his towel was secure, Tony shakily pushed himself up off the floor, bracing himself against the wall. Once he was on his feet, he met Gibbs' determined glare, silently daring the man to say another word. "I'll be out in a minute," he growled.

Tony didn't miss the barely imperceptible smile that escaped the Marine's lips as he turned to leave. He had allowed Gibbs to bait him and he had fallen for the tough love act, hook, line, and sinker. As the older man closed the door behind him, Tony muttered to himself, "Well played, Gibbs."

Drying off as quickly as his protesting body allowed, he pulled on his clothes and began to finish peeling off the remains of his cast. Tony then carefully flexed his wrist and decided that he could live with the troublesome twinge. Ducky wasn't going to be happy with him, but it didn't matter; despite the ME's probable insistence, he had already made the decision that he wasn't going to have another cast put on.

Glancing at his crutches, he decided that he would try and make do without them as well. He gingerly put his weight on his bum knee and discovered that he could tolerate the pain; becoming more mobile would be another step in gaining his independence and putting distance between himself and everyone else. Opening the door, he carefully headed out to the living room, steeling himself for the lecture he was probably going to receive from Ducky and Gibbs.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Practicing a bit of that tough love, Jethro?" Ducky asked.

"Maybe," Gibbs conceded. "Some things don't change; sometimes DiNozzo still needs a swift kick in the rear end."

"Agreed. But considering everything, don't you think…"

Gibbs shook his head. "No, I don't. He's trying to close himself off and I'm not about to let that happen."

The team leader poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down on his couch, contemplating the latest confrontation between him and DiNozzo. Although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, the sight of Tony sitting on his bathroom floor with such anger and desperation surrounding him was not a memory that he would cherish. He had been walking past the bathroom and had heard a muffled cry of frustration and the sound of Tony hitting something. Gibbs had listened for a few seconds before deciding he needed to intervene and when he did, his presence had not been welcome.

He still wasn't sure why he had been so hard on Tony, but he knew that his friend needed a push and he was the one who could deliver it. It had always bothered the younger man when the team leader was 'nice' to him; Gibbs truly hoped that hadn't changed during Tony's time in prison. Now that the charges against Tony had been expunged; it was time to concentrate on getting DiNozzo back on his feet. He knew that the younger man was anxious to get out from under his watchful eye and he couldn't blame Tony for that. The past year, his former agent had been subjected to having his every move scrutinized and for a man like Tony, that had to have been pure hell.

DiNozzo used to make a practice of knowing everything about everyone's life, but when it came to his own personal affairs, he kept them closely guarded. During the trial, the prosecuting attorney had purposefully drudged up DiNozzo's past and had destroyed his reputation to the point that even those who knew Tony began to doubt his innocence. Tony needed to feel normal again and if Gibbs had to growl and occasionally act like a bastard to help him, then he would.

Their relationship had always been unique and complicated. Most people didn't understand the loyalty between the two men and there were times that Gibbs was baffled by the fact that Tony had chosen him as his paternal figure in his life. He never understood why DiNozzo's own father couldn't see what a good man his son was. It had taken him years to build Tony's confidence in himself and that confidence had been destroyed during his time in prison. The road ahead of them was long, but hopefully Tony would permit the Marine to come along on the journey.

Gibbs was preparing to take another sip of his coffee when he heard Ducky ask, "Anthony, what do you think you're doing?"

The ME's distressed tone told Gibbs that his first little push had been successful. He looked up to see DiNozzo hobbling down the hall, occasionally using the wall to keep his balance. Gibbs immediately noticed that Tony wasn't using his crutches nor did he have a cast on his wrist, prompting him to wonder if he had perhaps pushed a bit too hard.

It didn't escape the older agent's attention that Tony had yet to answer Ducky's question; he was clearly concentrating on every step until he reached the chair and collapsed into it. Gibbs rose up and carefully propped Tony's leg up on the table and then went to the kitchen to retrieve a bag of frozen peas to put on his knee.

"Thanks, Gibbs," Tony said as he settled back into the cushion, placing the bag on knee..

"Works better than ice packs. Only reason I keep peas around here."

"Yeah."

"Feel like some soup or something?" he wanted to know.

"Not really."

"You need to try and get something on your stomach."

"Soup's fine," the younger man relented as he sank down into the cushion.

Gibbs went to the kitchen and began fixing DiNozzo a small bowl of soup. He could hear Ducky gently chastising Tony about not using his crutches. The Marine wondered how long it would take the ME to notice that DiNozzo didn't have his cast on either.

As he brought out the soup and bottle of clear soda, there was a knock at the door. Knowing that no one should be dropping by, Gibbs handed the bowl and drink to Tony and went to see who was at the door. He almost expected there to be a reporter on his front porch; surely the press wouldn't be so dense as to continue to harass his former agent.

He opened the door to discover Jenny standing there, preparing to knock once again. Very few people ever knocked on his door and as far as he could remember, Jenny had always been one to come in whether she had been invited or not. "I didn't want to barge in unannounced," she offered by way of explanation. "I didn't think it was a good idea since Tony was staying here with you."

Gibbs stepped out and pulled the door closed behind him. "What are you doing here, _Director_?"

"I would like to talk to Tony."

The agent couldn't help but laugh at her request. "That's not happening, Jen. He's not ready."

"Judging from the way he handled the press, I think he can stand my presence for a few minutes," she shot back. "His rather colorful language sent the censor machine into overload."

Gibbs should have figured that the media would have already managed to get something on air. "They deserved what they got."

"I agree."

"Then you have to know that he's not ready to talk to you or to anyone from NCIS."

Jenny crossed her arms and glared at him. Gibbs knew that look all too well; she had no intention of backing down and would stand her ground until she got what she wanted. Of course, he was equally determined to allow Tony to decide who he wanted to see; DiNozzo deserved to be able to make his own decisions.

"I won't be long," Jenny promised.

"It's going to be up to DiNozzo. If he doesn't want to see you, then you have to leave."

"Fine. Now, go and ask him."

He opened his door and with a firm, "Wait here," Gibbs went back into the house. Tony had just finished half his sandwich when the team leader approached him. "Tony?" he called out.

"Who is it?" Tony asked.

"Director Shepard. If you don't want to see her, she'll leave," he quickly added.

Tony sat the bowl down and closed his eyes. Gibbs considered his reluctance to serve as DiNozzo's answer, until the dark haired man spoke up and said that he would see her. The team leader had to admit that he was taken by surprise by Tony's actions, but it was DiNozzo's decision and Gibbs would abide by it. As he walked back to the door, he couldn't shake the feeling that the next few minutes were going to be very interesting.


	23. Chapter 23

**Okay, my loyal readers, I am finally satisfied enough with this chapter to post. I apologize for the delay, but I certainly hope it's worth it. As always, I appreciate your kindness and encouragement—you all really inspire me. I apologize for not answering your reviews to the previous chapter yet, but I figured that you'd like another chapter instead; however, don't worry, I will answer each and every one of them asap. Thank you all for hanging in there with me. Enjoy and stay warm!**

**Part 23**

Director Jenny Shepard had never doubted Anthony DiNozzo's innocence. Tony had not only been an exemplary agent, but she had always considered him to be a good man whose integrity she never had any reason to question. Before assuming the Director's chair, she had studied his file with great interest, deciding that she would definitely keep an eye on him and that he would be an ideal candidate for a special operation that she had been secretly laying the groundwork for the last couple of years. The success of this operation would not only allow her the revenge and closure that she desperately craved, but it would open doors for Tony and he would be on the fast track to his own team and perhaps one day, he would even work his way up to Director.

Unfortunately, all those plans had to be put on hold when Tony had been arrested and convicted for murder; there had been no one else of DiNozzo's caliber that could pull off what was turning out to be a very delicate operation. Now that the former agent had been absolved of the murder chargers, perhaps she could begin to set her plan in action once again. Of course, she couldn't push him; Jenny knew she had to convince him that she was on his side, which she was, but that didn't stop her from working her own agenda.

She hadn't been sure that she could get in to see Tony; Gibbs was very protective of DiNozzo to the point of obsession, but Jenny had already decided that if she couldn't see him today that she would bide her time. When she arrived at Gibbs' house, the Marine had been ready to kick her to the curb; fortunately, Tony had agreed to see her.

As she entered the living room, the Director could sense Tony's steely gaze upon her as she made her way towards him. Anger and distrust clouded the once hazel orbs that often sparkled with mischievous thoughts and laughter; so much had been taken from him and Jenny only hoped that Tony would come to view her offer as a way to reclaim a part of his life. She smiled as she approached him, hoping to put him at ease; his muscular body was screaming that he wanted nothing more than to bolt from the room.

Smiling, she quietly greeted the nervous man. "Hello, Tony."

Tony nodded. "Director Shepard."

"Do you mind if I sit down?"

"It's not my house."

She glanced over her shoulder to see Gibbs smirking at her. Jenny knew that he was silently gloating over the fact that Tony was not going to make this easy for her. The two men were definitely cut from the same cloth. "May I, Jethro?" she asked, willing to play their little game.

"Go ahead," Gibbs replied.

Ducky took this opportunity to excuse himself to fix some more tea, offering her the seat that he had just vacated. As she sat down across from Tony, Jenny didn't miss the fact that the dark haired man seemed to tense even more; he was wound tight and it probably wouldn't take much for him to snap, if he hadn't already. "So, how are you doing?" she tentatively inquired.

"Fine."

She smiled at his declaration; it was obvious to her that Tony DiNozzo was far from being fine. "I see some things never change. You always claim to be fine when…"

"I'm fine," he firmly repeated. "My knee is killing me, but other than that, life is good."

She knew that she wasn't going to get anything more from him about his personal well-being; Tony had always played down anything regarding his health and although he was in obvious discomfort, Jenny wisely decided not to push that particular issue. "I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that everything worked out for you. Things haven't been the same."

"I guess not," he shot back. "I put a big black mark on NCIS' record; I guess you've been busy trying to erase that."

She leaned forward and clasped her hands together. Her assumption had been right; DiNozzo was not going to make this easy for her and she didn't blame him. "Tony, I knew you were innocent; I admit that there were times that I thought that Gibbs was chasing dead ends, but I'm grateful that he was so persistent. I am sorry that you were put through such hell and NCIS certainly owes you a great deal. That's why I'm here. I want you to know that I have set in motion for you to receive the back pay that is due to you; I figure that you will need it sooner than later."

Tony's demeanor seemed to soften slightly as he nervously licked his lips, but there was definitely still an air of defensiveness about him. "Yeah, some money would come in handy," the dark-haired man admitted.

Although she initially had underlying motives, she was truly pleased that she was able to do something to help him. "Good. I've pulled a few strings so hopefully you'll begin to receive your checks shortly. I will have them sent here until you can get your own place." Jenny knew that this was an olive branch of sorts; if she could get him to trust her and see that she was on his side, perhaps down the road, he would be willing to listen to her offer.

"Thanks."

"You're very welcome. It's the least I can do."

Tony arched his brow; his mask was firmly back in place as disdain etched in his finely chiseled features. "Easing your conscience, Director?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees. She expected Tony to be bitter, but Jenny wasn't truly expecting that bitterness to be directed towards her. "Excuse me?"

"I just asked if you were trying to ease your conscience. Why else would you be here? Are you afraid that I'm going to sue NCIS or the FBI? Did SecNav send you here for damage control?" Tony wanted to know.

The Director smiled at the younger man. He had every right to be wary of her and of any offer of kindness; Tony was going to have to once again become acquainted with generosity. "Tony, I know that you don't have any reason to believe me, but I just want to help you. I'll never be able to change what happened, but I can try and make your future better. I'm on your side."

"You're a piece of work, Director."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm here to help you. You can believe me." She couldn't help but feel a little frustrated at the level of mistrust that was directed towards her.

"To tell you the truth, Director, I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I'm still trying to figure it all out."

Jenny noticed Gibbs was now standing beside her, inching ever closer to Tony. "That's understandable, Tony. I am sure that it's been difficult to distinguish friend from foe this past year."

"I guess that's why I'm still confused as to why you're really here," Tony mused. "I can see McGee and Abby showing up, not that I'm ready to see them; I can even see Ziva dropping by, but I have no idea why _you're_ here. You stayed clear during the trial; why are you showing up now?"

Her cheeks flushed slightly. Tony was right; she had stayed clear during the trial, but she had also been under orders to keep her distance. Looking back, Jenny realized how it must have looked to Tony; nothing she could do or say would make her blatant absence excusable. She had to somehow convince him that he could trust her; she decided that in this particular instance, honesty was the best policy. "You're right, Tony. I guess I was still worried about job security; SecNav wanted me to stay clear and I did. I should have taken a stand and I didn't. I apologize."

Tony laid his head back against the cushion and sighed. She wished that she knew what was going on his mind; Jenny wasn't used to DiNozzo seeming so contemplative. "Tony?" she called out to him.

"Are you going to offer me my job back? Is that why you're really here?"

Jenny was surprised by his abruptness. "What?"

"Is NCIS going to take me back or not?"

She felt a glimmer of hope. If Tony wanted to come back to work, then it would be easier to convince him to take a special assignment for her. "Do you want to come back?" she pressed.

"I think it's a bit early to discuss this, don't you?" Ducky asked as he handed her a cup of tea. "It's going to take a few more weeks before he's completely on his feet."

"He's the one who brought it up, Dr. Mallard," Jenny pointed out. Taking the cup and saucer, she asked Tony again if he wanted to come back to NCIS.

It was obvious that Tony was uncomfortable and regretted bringing up the subject. "I don't know," he finally replied. "Just thinking about my options. I'm not sure what I have to come back to."

"You will always have a place at NCIS," she assured him. "You will also have a place on Gibbs' team, _if_ that's what you want; if not, I am sure we can come up with some other options. I will do anything in my power to help you get back on your feet. Rule number five."

"You don't waste good," Tony muttered under his breath.

"No, you don't and _you_ are good, Tony."

DiNozzo shook his head. "No, Director. I'm not."

Jenny knew that Tony was effectively done talking when he closed his eyes and turned away. He was blocking out everyone and everything and he was through listening to anything she had to say. Placing her cup of tea on the table, she stood up and smoothed out her skirt. "Call me when you've made up your mind, Tony. I'll be waiting."

He didn't acknowledge her as she headed towards the door. "Gibbs. Dr. Mallard. Please keep me posted. If there is anything I can do, let me know."

As she opened the door, she found Gibbs right behind her. As the two of them walked out on the front porch, Jenny found herself face to face with the team leader. It had been a while since she had seen him so angry; she mentally reviewed her conversation with Tony to make sure that she hadn't said anything to give away her ultimate plan. "Gibbs? What's wrong?" she asked, knowing full well that she was probably pushing her luck with her former lover.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, _Director_?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony waited a few seconds until after he heard the door shut before addressing the ME who had reclaimed his seat. "If you move next to the window, you can hear what they're saying," he informed the older man. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Gibbs had a few choice words for the Director and that she was going to be on the receiving end of the team leader's infamous temper. The Marine wanted to fight yet another battle for him and Tony wasn't sure if he should be grateful or pissed off. No one knew the Director better than Gibbs and if she had an ulterior motive, then he would discover what it was.

"I imagine that the words coming out of Jethro's mouth are not going to be pleasant; however, Director Shepard can hold her own." Ducky moved and perched on the edge of the coffee table. "I guess it's best to give the two of them some privacy. So, while we're alone, let me check your knee," he insisted.

Tony didn't have the energy or desire to offer a protest as the older man poked and prodded his aching knee. He fully expected Ducky to launch into his own inquiry and he wasn't disappointed. "I am rather surprised that you were willing to see the Director. Aside from Abigail's mistimed visit in the hospital, you haven't seen any of your other friends like Timothy and…"

He shook his head. The thought of seeing his friends was more than he could bear. "I'm not ready to see them, Duck. I can't face them yet."

"I'm not sure I understand. You agreed to see Director Shepard and..."

"I don't know why," he shrugged. "I can't explain it. She's not a friend; she's the Director. I guess part of me was wondering what she wanted and I guess the other part of me really didn't believe that she had the gall to even show up. I figured that she had washed her hands of me; actually, I kind of figure that NCIS is done with me. After all, I was quite the embarrassment to NCIS and its new Director and I probably still am."

"Tony, you weren't then nor are you now an embarrassment."

"I feel like one," he mumbled. Tony didn't want to expose those feelings that he so desperately had to keep buried. "Anyway, I guess I wanted to see what her agenda was; she's up to something. I'm really kind of tired of being the fall guy. I guess I should be used to it by now."

Ducky shook his head. "No, you shouldn't. You must remember, Anthony, you were simply the victim of…"

Something inside Tony snapped. He pulled the blanket lying on the arm of the chair and placed it over his knee, prematurely ending the ME's evaluation. The old cliché, 'hanging by a thread' adequately described what he was feeling; of course, he was pretty sure that the thread was about to completely break in two. "That's just it, Ducky! I don't want to be seen as a victim! I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me! The fact that I had to spend a year in prison only proves the fact that there's something wrong with me! I just want to be left alone so I can figure out what makes me such a despicable person and how I can fix it!"

He could feel Ducky's disapproving stare; Tony knew he shouldn't have taken his mounting frustrations out on the doctor, but unfortunately, he had been the one in his line of fire. So much for keeping a lid on his emotions. "Seems to me, Anthony, that the only one in this room feeling sorry for you is you," Ducky stated. "You don't have to do this alone. I know I've said this before, but at some point, you're going to have to trust someone and if I were you, I would start with that man outside chewing the Director of NCIS out on your behalf. You don't need fixing, Tony; you just need someone to help point you in the right direction."

Tony found himself speechless. He hadn't expected the ME to be so abrupt. The ME certainly hadn't been coddling him by any means but he had yet to be so direct with him. In years past, Ducky had always been the voice of reason and he realized that nothing had changed.

That brief fire of passion that had been ignited just a few seconds ago had been quickly extinguished. He was tired of talking and he had a lot of thinking to do. "Yeah," Tony whispered. "I guess you're right."

He pulled the blanket tighter around him and sank further down into the chair, effectively shutting down his end of the conversation; Tony DiNozzo was tired of talking. "I'm pretty tired, Duck. Guess I'll get some sleep." The hurting man knew that he needed to get his thoughts together and a lid on his emotions before he completely lost control.

"Anthony, I didn't mean to come across as…"

"It's all right. You know me; I always need to a swift kick in the butt. Who better to give it than a friend?" Tony didn't want to hear the doctor apologize because it was completely unnecessary. He appreciated Ducky's candor; the physician had unwittingly given him a few things to think about. The younger man had to start getting his priorities straight starting with how he was going to stop hurting those who actually cared about him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He couldn't remember a time when he had felt more like hitting a lady; of course, at the moment, the Marine was questioning the Director's status as a lady. She truly had no reason to come to his house; any messages that she had wanted to deliver should have gone through him. He was also surprised that Tony had actually agreed to see her when he had yet to ask to see any of his friends and teammates. The Marine hoped that the younger man would explain his reasoning for seeing Jenny; especially when it was obvious that he was spent from the events of the day. Gibbs really didn't think that DiNozzo was incapable of taking care of himself, but Tony still wasn't up to par physically or mentally; the dark-haired man's sharp wit and quick tongue had allowed him to hold his own in a verbal sparring match against Jenny, but Gibbs knew that the confrontation had taken even more out of his friend.

"Don't make me ask you again, Jenny," he warned. "What kind of game are you playing?"

"I don't play games, Jethro. I have as much right to be here as you do; he was _my_ agent," she reminded him.

"_Your _agent? I guess that's why you wanted me to quit trying to prove his innocence." Gibbs took a step closer to the Director, backing her against the railing. "You need to leave DiNozzo alone; he's got enough to deal with; he doesn't need you looking over his shoulder and…"

"I'm trying to help him!" Jenny protested. "He's going to need money to get back on his feet and he deserves his back pay! That's _all_ I'm trying to do, _Agent_ Gibbs. You have to agree that NCIS at least owes him that much."

He refused to buy into her apparent lies. "You forget, _Director_, that I know you better than you know yourself. I know that look in your eye all too well; it's the same look that almost got me killed. You're up to something and I'm going to make sure that Tony doesn't get caught in the crossfire of whatever your personal agenda happens to be at the moment!"

Gibbs was fuming. He had known that Jenny had been laying the ground work for over a year for a huge operation and the team leader had also been aware of the fact that she had been asking questions about DiNozzo before all hell had broken loose. The agent had seen the familiar glint in her eye more than once during their time together as partners. She had screwed him over and he wasn't about to let Tony become involved in of one of her potentially deadly schemes. "Leave him alone!"

Jenny schooled her features as she stood tall. "Don't you get tired of being the protector? Maybe Tony needs a little more freedom than you're willing to give him; the quicker he gets an income, the quicker he can get back on his feet. Did it ever occur to you that he probably doesn't want to live here for the rest of his life? I know that you feel guilty about everything that has happened, but you have to let it go. You have to let_ him_ go so he can start over."

He realized that she was trying to take the focus off of her and shift the attention to him. Maybe he was Tony's protector, but he had been fulfilling that particular paternal role for years now. He knew that DiNozzo wanted to be on his own mainly because the younger man didn't want to deal with his demons with an audience. How dare she tell him what was good for Tony? He had spent the last several years learning what made the man tick and helping him gain confidence not only as a agent, but in himself as well.

"Don't tell me what I need to do, Director Shepard," he growled. "I'm warning you to stay away from Tony. He doesn't need your crap!"

"He doesn't need _your_ crap either, Jethro. Have you ever thought by protecting him that you're doing more harm than good?" Jenny challenged.

"You don't have a clue as to what's going on, Jen! You think you can come in here and offer him his back pay and his place on the team and hope everything will return to normal? That's not going to happen."

"You don't have a lot faith in him. Do you, Jethro?"

He didn't even have to consider her question. There wasn't anyone he trusted more than Tony DiNozzo and nothing that had happened this past year would change that fact. "I'd follow him to hell and back."

Jenny would never be able to understand the faith that he had in Tony and he was truly pissed that she had the audacity to challenge his confidence in the younger man. Gibbs took a step back towards the door. "I'm watching you, Jen. Don't come back here." Not giving her the chance to answer, he went back inside his house. She was still one of the most infuriating women that he had ever dealt; some days she even rivaled his ex-wives. His gut was warning him to keep his eyes open and to watch DiNozzo's six and he fully intended to make sure that he did just that.

As he walked back into the living room, his eyes came to rest on Ducky, who sitting in a chair, studying the sleeping man in front of him. Of course, Gibbs didn't believe that Tony was asleep; he knew that sometimes that DiNozzo feigned sleep in an effort to shut down emotionally and he was pretty sure this was the case. Today had been grueling for his former senior agent. Between his court appearance, the confrontation with the reporters, his breakdown in Gibbs' bathroom, and Jenny's unexpected visit, Tony was clearly exhausted physically and emotionally; however, he also knew that Tony wouldn't let his guard down by relaxing enough to drift off.

He motioned for Ducky to join him in the kitchen. "Everything okay?" he asked the ME as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

"I was about to ask you the same thing; that was quite the shouting match that you and Director Shepard were having," Ducky observed. "Not that I was listening," the doctor quickly added. "I was busy with Anthony."

"Is _he_ okay?"

Ducky shook his head. "I don't know what to tell you, Jethro. Only time will tell."

"He can take all the time in the world, Duck."

"I'm not sure that he'll give himself that time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gibbs certainly didn't like the allusions that came to his mind.

"Not now," Ducky said, gesturing towards Tony, who still appeared to be sleeping. "We'll talk later." The ME picked up his coat and hat as he headed towards the door. "I have to go and check on mother, but I'll be back. In the meantime, keep a close watch on our boy."

As the door closed behind the physician, Gibbs made his way over the chair that Ducky had vacated only a few minutes before. The agent had understood Ducky's subliminal message loud and clear; he just didn't want to face the implication that adorned the older man's words. "He's gone," the Marine announced.

"I know," came the sullen reply.

Tony slowly stirred and opened his eyes. Gibbs was truly disturbed by the empty darkness he saw in DiNozzo's eyes. Tony simply looked defeated and the Marine had no idea what to do. "Want to tell me what's going on? What happened between you and Ducky?"

The dark haired man shrugged. "I don't know. We just talked."

That wasn't the answer he was looking for. "So why is he worried about you?" Gibbs pressed.

"I don't know."

He wasn't buying it; however, Gibbs knew that if Tony didn't want to talk, no one could make him, at least not without a few beers. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option at this moment, so he decided that he would have to push a little harder. "You sure that you don't know?"

He couldn't believe his ears when DiNozzo actually laughed. "Nope, but I'm done talking for the day."

"Just tell me one thing."

"What's that?"

The team leader braced himself for his next question. He was treading on dangerous ground, but Ducky's words were haunting him. "Are you planning on doing something stupid?"

He immediately noticed the change in Tony's body language as the tension in the room seemed to escalate. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that if Tony was physically able to, he would have bolted for the door. Instead, Tony fought back with the only weapon at his disposal; DiNozzo often used his sharp tongue when he felt like he was being backed into a corner and now was obviously one of those times. "I ended up in prison, Gibbs; seems to me that rates pretty high on the stupid meter."

"That wasn't your fault and that's not what I'm talking about." Gibbs had made the decision earlier that he wasn't going to let Tony simply crawl into a hole of self loathing and waste away; he would force the man that DiNozzo had locked away inside to come out of hiding. He knew that Tony was scared and that prison had changed him, but Gibbs also was hoping that he could challenge the old Tony to take a stand as well.

He leaned forward and set his coffee down on the table. Gibbs was determined to break through the fortress that Tony was equally determined to keep guarded. "Now, answer my question."


	24. Chapter 24

**First, a shout out to my awesome beta, AZGirl…any remaining mistakes are mine. Second, my humblest apologies for the lengthy delays in continuing this story. No real excuses except the daily demands of real life, which I know many of you are familiar with. Thank you to those who are still sticking with me and I promise that the story will be finished. I am blessed to have so many loyal readers…you truly keep me wanting to write. Hope you enjoy the post!**

**Part 24**

Tony wanted nothing more than to be left alone, but apparently, that wasn't going to happen any time soon. The team leader was determined to discover exactly what was going on in his head and he knew from experience that Gibbs wouldn't give up until he had the answers that he wanted. He couldn't stand the thought of anyone getting a glimpse at the dark thoughts that he harbored; Tony had always managed to control those thoughts, but over the past year, they had started to consume him.

He was a psychiatrist's dream or their worst nightmare. The younger man had always had a way with department and hospital shrinks; his false assurances that he was fine used to eloquently flow from his lips. Over the years, he had become a master of deception and while it wasn't necessarily a mark of integrity, that particular skill had saved his life more than once during his combined years on the various police forces and at NCIS. Unfortunately, Gibbs seemingly knew him better than he knew himself; the older man could see right through his façade and the lies he would tell in order to keep his mask firmly in place.

Of course, he really had no idea who he was anymore; his past year in prison had changed him and not for the better. Self-preservation had been and still was Tony's main priority; he did what he'd had to do in order to stay alive and he supposed that was what pissed him off about Gibbs' demand to know if he was going to do something stupid. He could have died several times this past year, but he had chosen to fight and although that decision had come with a high price, Tony had willingly paid it time and time again.

He glanced down at his hands and noticed a slight tremor, prompting him to clasp his hands together, hoping that Gibbs hadn't noticed his shakiness. Blowing out a frustrated breath, Tony met his former mentor's icy gaze. "What was your question again, Gibbs? Am I going to do something stupid? Was that it?"

"That's what I want to know, DiNozzo," the Marine replied. "And don't give me the run around. I want the truth."

"The truth?" Tony challenged. "You really want me to answer that? Thought you knew me better."

He had once told Gibbs that he couldn't imagine ever being desperate enough to take his own life, especially after having to endure the aftermath of his mother's suicide. Tony could vividly recall the sight of his mother's lifeless body, mentally scarring him forever; no eight year old should ever have to deal with losing a mom in such an unexpected and cruel manner. She had been his world and she had left him; truthfully, he had never truly forgiven her for leaving him alone. However, during this time, Tony had made the decision that he would never intentionally take his own life and the thought had never crossed his mind until he had been sent to prison. Although he had considered suicide as a viable option, he had never acted upon that particular solution to end his pain.

Even after the hell that he had endured at the hands of the other inmates and guards, he had refused to give in to the desire to end his life. One time his attackers had made it seem that he had attempted to kill himself, and although the doctor had probably listed it that way in his record, Tony knew the truth; he had stayed strong and true to the vow he had made to himself.

"I'd like to think I know the answer," Gibbs said. "I guess I just want to hear from you."

"Why? You know better than anyone why I wouldn't do it."

Tony knew that Gibbs had to remember the conversation that had taken place not long after he had started working for NCIS. A tough case and a few glasses of bourbon had loosened his lips and he had told the team leader of the heartache and pain of finding his mother dead. Neither of them ever mentioned that particular discussion again, both men preferring to keep the past in the past.

"That was before…"

He didn't give the Marine an opportunity to finish his sentence. What was Gibbs trying to do to him? Piss him off even more? Force him to talk? Break him into tiny pieces that couldn't be put back together? Tony's anger was palpable as he threw off the afghan and shakily rose to his feet, bumping the table and knocking a cup to the floor.

"Before what? Before I spent time in prison? I may have thought about it, but that's _all_ I did! Damn it, Gibbs! What the hell do you want from me?"

Gibbs stood to his full height, which only fueled the rage burning inside of him. Deep down, he knew that the team leader was taking precautions because of the fact that he was probably going to end up face planting on the floor, but at the moment, Tony perceived the movement as a threat, which only exacerbated his defensiveness.

"I want you to be honest with me and with yourself," Gibbs demanded. "Talk to me, Tony."

He laughed bitterly. "Did you get a degree in psychiatry while I was away? Let me just go ahead and make it clear to you and everybody else that I don't need a shrink!"

"I didn't say you did," the agent countered. "I just want to help you and I don't know how."

Tony shook his head as he limped towards the front door. "You want to help? Then leave me alone!"

He tensed as Gibbs' calloused hand grabbed his arm. Tony knew that he wasn't strong enough to fight the agent, but that didn't stop him from trying to pull free of the Marine's tight grasp.

"Let me go, Gibbs," he seethed. Clenching his fist, he fought against the urge to throw a punch at his friend; it would serve the silver haired man right for baiting him, but yet he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"No, Tony." Gibbs released his arm and moved to stand in front of him. "You've got to stop hiding and face…"

"Face what? Face what happened?" Tony raked his hands through his hair, frustrated by the direction that their conversation was now taking. "I _have_ faced it Gibbs. I have to live with the memories of that f***ing nightmare every day! You've read the reports and you know what happened! You know about the beatings and you know about the…other stuff that happened; so tell me why we're even having this conversation! Why do you think that you need to act like my shrink? There are enough voices in my head without you making me…"

He swallowed hard. What was the matter with him? One moment, he felt like punching his way through a brick wall and the next moment, he was fighting back tears. Why couldn't he stay in control of his feelings? He had spent his entire life learning to hide his emotions and now, they were struggling to break through the fortress that he had built around them. He couldn't afford to appear weak, but right now, that was exactly what he was.

Sinking to the floor, ignoring the stabbing pain in his still healing knee, he cradled his aching head in his hands. He sensed Gibbs' presence as the Marine knelt in front of him. "Why can't you just leave it alone, Gibbs? Why can't you leave _me_ alone?"

"I don't know," Gibbs admitted. "I just can't."

"That's not a reason."

"It's the only one I have."

Tony wasn't sure what he wanted Gibbs to say. At one time, he and the agent had shared a familial bond, but now, he wasn't so sure that it still existed. He had always valued the team leader's opinion and had constantly sought his approval. His time in prison had taught him that he could live without it, but at the same time, he was slowly rediscovering that he still wanted it. Tony felt that he didn't deserve the agent's unconditional support and it was foolish to expect things to go back to like they were before. Who could be proud of a son who had spent the last year in prison?

"Yeah, well, your reasoning sucks," Tony growled. "Don't you see? I…I have to do this on my own."

Gibbs sat down beside him and to his own surprise, Tony didn't mind the close proximity of the other man; either that, or he was simply too tired to care. "That's where you're wrong. Like I said when you had your ass planted on my bathroom floor, you need help and there's no shame in it, DiNozzo. It's okay to ask for help."

"I tried that once or twice and it didn't work out too well. Nobody wants to help a dirty cop." He leaned his head against the wall and momentarily closed his eyes. When he finally met Gibbs' concerned gaze, he didn't see pity in his former mentor's eyes, but determination and an obvious desire to understand what was going through his head. The only problem was that he didn't have a clue what was going on in his jumbled mind. "Anyway, I kind of got used to being on my own; there wasn't anyone in prison I could count on to have my back. Half of them wanted to stab me in the back and the other half…"

Tony caught himself; the last thing he wanted to do was to bring up any of the horrific memories that he was doing his best to bury. If he was ever going to move on, he was going to have to try and figure out how to find a room big enough in the depths of his mind to hide the horrific images and thoughts that tended to haunt him at the most inopportune moments.

"It doesn't matter," he sighed, hoping that Gibbs wouldn't push him to talk anymore about his time in prison. As far as he was concerned, that time of his life was off limits. "Anyway, to answer your first question, I'm not going to kill myself. Thought about it a time or two, but I won't go through with it."

"I know. I shouldn't have even asked."

A tiny smile escaped Tony's lips. Gibbs was coming close to breaking one of his own rules. "That an apology, Boss?"

"Closest thing to one that I can muster right now," the agent shot back.

Tony shifted slightly and rubbed his aching knee. "Been a hell of day, Boss."

"You can say that again. Between court, the press, and Jenny, you've had a lot to deal with."

He shrugged, wincing slightly at the movement. He wished he would stop hurting; the constant, nagging pain was definitely clouding his ability to think clearly; his thoughts were all over the place and it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay focused.

"I guess so. Kind of weird seeing the Director. Figure she's up to something."

"You're probably right," Gibbs conceded. "Your instincts usually are."

"I don't know about that; thought maybe I was just being paranoid. In case you haven't noticed, I have some trust issues."

"Yeah, I noticed. Not your fault."

Once again, Tony had the feeling that Gibbs was waiting for him to reveal his most private thoughts, and once again, he found himself unable to reveal anything that would make him appear vulnerable. He decided that it was time to employ his favorite diversion tactic and change the subject.

"You said that you kept some of my things; I'd like to go through them and see what I have left. Maybe I still have some things I can pawn and get some money."

"You don't have to do that, Tony," Gibbs insisted.

"I've got a lot of things to do, Gibbs, and I'm going to need money. I can't sit around and wait for that supposed back pay to appear."

"Tony, take a couple of days and regroup. Like you said, it's been a hell of a day. Actually, it's been a hell of year."

The younger man visibly bristled; he was exhausted and his nerves were beyond frayed. "Gibbs, I really don't have the energy to get into this right now. I just need to do this. Now, you can show me where you put my stuff or I'll look for it on my own."

"All right, but how about we compromise? Take your meds and get a good night's sleep tonight and in the morning, I'll help you go through your stuff."

He closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands as the fatigue that plagued him seeped into every fiber of his weary soul. "I'm so tired," he mumbled to himself, almost forgetting that Gibbs was still sitting beside him.

"I know you are," the team leader assured him. "Let's get you off the floor and back to the couch."

Tony realized that Gibbs knew he wasn't just talking about being physically spent, but emotionally as well. The Marine had temporarily given up on getting him to talk, which was a good thing since he wasn't sure what would fly out of his mouth. The one thing that he was sure of was that the floor was not where he wanted to spend the night, but he was beginning to doubt that he could summon the strength to stand. "I'm not sure I can move. You can just throw a blanket over me."

He eyed Gibbs as the older man slowly stood up, ignoring the pain in his own knee, and offered him a hand. Reluctantly, he reached up and took the proffered hand, allowing the Marine to help him up. Tony leaned on Gibbs as they slowly made their way back to the couch. As he situated himself, Gibbs slipped into the kitchen and returned with his meds and a can of soda. "Take these," he quietly demanded. "They'll help your pain so you sleep."

Tony started to protest but thought twice. He actually wanted to sleep, and by drugging himself into oblivion, he could ensure that the nightmares wouldn't come immediately, allowing him to get a couple hours of rest. He didn't like taking any kind of medicinal help, but tonight, he was going to make an exception; he was definitely going to need his strength the next few days. "Thanks," he replied as he took the pills. Tony swallowed them and then settled into the cushions, pulling the blanket over him.

"Rest easy, DiNozzo."

As Tony closed his eyes, he managed to mutter a jumbled, "You too, Boss."

He only hoped that when he woke up that he had the energy to go through his belongings. Tony was determined to get his own place and then he could decide what he was going to do with the rest of his life. Of course, he was going to have to convince Gibbs to let him go, which he knew would be easier said than done.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next morning, Gibbs woke up realizing that he had actually slept for six hours; he found himself hoping that Tony had managed to do so as well. He knew that DiNozzo usually only managed to sleep a couple hours at a time and the fact that Tony had slept so long was a testament to the younger man's obvious exhaustion. Throwing the covers off, he quietly made his way into the living room to discover Tony wasn't on the couch, but sitting at his kitchen table drinking coffee.

"How long you been awake, DiNozzo?" he asked as he grabbed a cup and poured himself some of the steaming brew.

"About half an hour," he replied.

"Did you have another nightmare?"

"If I did, I don't remember it. I had to hit the head," he sheepishly informed him. "Figured since I was awake, I'd start the coffee."

He wasn't sure if Tony was being completely honest with him regarding his nightmares, but Gibbs decided that he wouldn't push the younger man. The dark circles underneath DiNozzo's eyes were still very prominent, but in time, they would fade-at least he hoped they would. It was more than obvious that a few hours of sleep wasn't going to be an instant fix to the mental and physical fatigue that plagued Tony, but it certainly wouldn't hurt him. Gibbs just wondered if the younger man would ever be able to sleep without any kind of medication; the thought of DiNozzo having to depend on medicinal relief was something that he really didn't want to consider. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to cross that bridge.

"Want anything to eat?" Gibbs offered.

"I had a piece of toast; I'm not very hungry."

Gibbs sat down beside him. Cradling his cup in his calloused hands, he studied its contents, unsure of what to say; he had to tread carefully or they would be back at square one again. "Still want to go through your stuff?" he finally inquired.

"Yeah. If you don't mind," Tony quietly added.

"I'll bring it in to you."

"No. I can get around well enough to pilfer through a few boxes."

His first instinct was to insist that Tony permit him to bring the boxes to him, but he also knew that he had to let DiNozzo feel like he had some control. "All right," he conceded. "Just promise me you won't over do it."

"I won't. I don't particularly want to incur the wrath of Ducky," Tony grinned as he finished his cup of coffee.

The team leader quietly enjoyed catching a glimpse of Tony's personality that had been hidden by the scars that he had earned this past year. He wasn't sure he should be concerned or grateful that Tony appeared to be in a better mood this morning. DiNozzo's mood swings were frequent, and it was that lack of control that frustrated his former agent, so Gibbs decided to simply enjoy the moment and not rock the proverbial boat.

"I stored what I could in the spare bedroom," Gibbs said. "Want company?"

Tony shrugged as he slowly got to his feet, using the table to gain his balance. "Suit yourself."

Gibbs figured that was the closest thing he would get to a yes, so he stood as well, making sure he stayed nearby in case Tony faltered. He was determined to allow DiNozzo to do what he could for himself, even if it was sometimes against his better judgment. He followed the younger man as he used the wall for support until he came to the door of the room. The team leader noticed the light sheen of perspiration on Tony's forehead and his slightly labored breathing; he wondered if this was too much, too soon, but Gibbs was not about to let DiNozzo see his doubt.

He opened the door and gestured for Tony to go in. Gibbs gestured to the bed and said, "Sit. I'll bring the boxes to you."

The fact that Tony didn't protest only served as a testament to the amount of pain that Tony was still experiencing. "I hung your suits up in the closet; figured that I couldn't afford to replace them if something happened to them," he teased.

He noticed that Tony was staring past him at his suits. The younger man carefully stood up and slowly hobbled over to the closet door. Gibbs watched with interest as DiNozzo fingered the expensive suit jackets; he then moved to the shirts that were still semi-wrinkle free and repeated the action. The team leader knew that Tony used to don one of his designer suits when his guard was up and he wanted to keep some emotional distance between him and his coworkers. His choice of suit would invariably start a conversation filled with snarky remarks from his teammates, which Tony endured in order to effectively disguise the burden that he was carrying that particular day.

"You okay?" he quietly asked the contemplative man.

"Get rid of them," Tony blurted out.

Gibbs stared at DiNozzo in disbelief. Certain that he had misheard Tony's directive, he asked Tony to repeat what he had just said. "What?"

"Get rid of them."

"What? I don't understand."

Tony slammed the closet door and clumsily made his way back to the bed while muttering a string of curses under his breath. He knew to expect severe mood swings from Tony, but Gibbs surely didn't expect one to come from looking at his suits. There was a time that he could read DiNozzo like a book, but right now he had no idea what was driving the younger man. "Tony? Why do you want to get rid of them?" the older man pressed.

"I just don't want them anymore," Tony growled. "I don't have the right to wear them."

Gibbs was truly confused by DiNozzo's words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Are you gonna bring me a box or what?"

It was obvious that Tony was shutting down again, but Gibbs wasn't about to let that happen. "In a minute. I want you to give me an answer."

"I don't have an answer; I just don't want them anymore."

"That's not a reason," he shot back. "Those suits are worth…"

"Nothing!" DiNozzo roared. "They were just something I could hide behind; something that made me feel worthy of everyone's attention. Well, here's a news flash, Gibbs! I don't want the attention! I don't want those clothes! I'm not good enough to wear them anymore and I don't want to be reminded of that every time I look in the freakin' closet! Is that okay with you? I told you that I was going to have to do this alone, and this is part of what I have to do!"

Gibbs grabbed Tony by the shoulders, forcing the angry man to look at him. "And _I_ told _you_ that you weren't alone in this. You keep trying to push me away, but let me tell you something, DiNozzo; I'm not going anywhere."

Tony pulled free of his grasp and shakily sat on the bed, clenching and unclenching his hands; Gibbs supposed he should be grateful that he wasn't on the receiving end of DiNozzo's fists. What had he been thinking? He knew better than to back Tony into a corner; the former agent didn't like anyone to invade his space without an invitation and Gibbs certainly hadn't been invited. Sitting down beside Tony, he clasped his hands together and stared at the floor.

"I'm sorry, Tony; I had no right to…"

Pushing himself up off the bed, Tony limped towards the door. "You're damn right, you didn't."

The Marine called out to him, but DiNozzo refused to answer him. Gibbs listened to Tony's uneven gait as the angry young man made his way down the stairs. He wasn't sure as to why he hadn't followed DiNozzo, but the sound of the front door opening and then slamming shut forced him to realize that his delayed reaction could prove to be a mistake.

A sense of dread filled the older agent; Gibbs knew that he had messed up and that he had to fix his mistake. The only problem was that he really had no idea where to start. He was used to being the one with the answers and now, he didn't have a clue as to what to do. Tough love didn't seem to be working and neither was trying to be patient and understanding. One thing he knew for certain was that Tony wasn't going to get far on a bum knee. Grabbing his keys, he headed out the door to catch up to DiNozzo. He would figure out how to approach Tony and convince his friend that he was definitely worth the effort.


	25. Author's note

**Author's Note**

First allow me to apologize for not doing this sooner, but I do owe my readers an explanation for my lengthy absence. After I posted my last chapter, I had a couple of very hateful pm's from a disgruntled reader. This individual wasn't necessarily blasting my story, but me personally as a writer and to some degree as a person, even though this individual really didn't know me. I will not go into the details, but needless to say, I was hurt and angry.

I know that I shouldn't have allowed this one person to affect me so much, but I had so much going on in my real life (nothing bad, just busy) have to admit that I did. It caused me to doubt myself for a while and as a result, I avoided writing for a while and I have to admit that it was an error on my part to do so.

I have received so many inquiries and that has made me realize that I was so wrong in giving this one person have that control. I do so appreciate everyone's concern and I can't than you enough. You have certainly reminded me that writing provides me with a much needed outlet and so once again, I have picked up the proverbial pen and I have a chapter that has been beta'd and I am currently reworking a couple of things. I have already started the next chapter as well, so I am getting back in the swing of things.

As my loyal readers, I do feel that I should ask your forgiveness for letting this happen. I should have just brushed the hurtful words aside and ignored the blatant stupidity of this person. I should have remembered the many wonderful people I have counting on me to deliver a top notch story instead on the one person who was determined to make me miserable. So, I beg your forgiveness and hope that you will continue to enjoy the story. I am hoping to have the next chapter up by Friday.

Again, I hope that you will stick with me and that you will continue to enjoy the story. If not, I completely understand. Thank you all for your concern and I certainly promise that more Tony angst and Papa Bear Gibbs is on its way!

Sincerely,

ncismom


	26. Chapter 26

**I want to say that I am humbled by the overwhelming support and encouragement that I have received from everyone. I am personally going to answer those that I can reply to, but I do want to thank the guests who also sent me a note of encouragement; I'm not sure I can ever adequately describe how blessed I feel. Never again will I doubt myself because I have such wonderful readers, many who have become friends. So, here is a new chapter and I truly hope you enjoy it. You all have certainly been patient enough and I pray that is worth the wait. Thanks to Jackileigh for helping me out…all remaining mistakes are mine.**

**Part 25**

"You are such a stupid f***, DiNozzo," Tony muttered under his breath. Taking off like a bat out of Hades had been a knee jerk reaction in an effort to escape Gibbs' well-meaning concern; now, he was realizing how incredibly stupid he had been. His knee had allowed him to get less than half a block from the agent's house before it gave out on him and he had no choice but to sit on the ground and wait. Tony knew it wouldn't be long before Gibbs caught up to him and he could only imagine what the team leader was going to say about his latest escapade.

A year ago, the older man wouldn't have been afraid to literally knock some sense into him. But now, things were different. Gibbs was still walking on egg shells around him, and Tony had to admit that he hated the continually deepening chasm that was between them. Although he truly missed the relationship that they had once shared, Tony knew that they would never share the familial bond again. He was damaged goods, and he didn't deserve to look up to Gibbs as a paternal figure any longer. What father would want a son who had spent time in prison?

His self-deprecating thoughts were forced back into the depths of his mind when he saw Gibbs quickly approaching him. Tony couldn't help but laugh to himself when he noticed the older man pocket his keys. Gibbs must have thought that he was going to be halfway to the Navy Yard instead of half way down the block. Of course, if it hadn't been for his knee, he would have at least been a couple of blocks away. The one thing Tony had made sure of during his time in prison was that he had stayed physically fit. He had lost count of the times where his physical prowess had allowed him to gain the upper hand during certain altercations. The other inmates quickly learned that when dealing with him, there was definitely strength in numbers. That was why his guard was always up, even when he wasn't in danger.

"Once again, you're on your ass, DiNozzo," Gibbs stated.

Tony lay back on the grass and threw his good arm over his eyes. "Guess so," he sighed. "Happens when your body doesn't cooperate with your brain."

"Mind if I sit down?"

His ribs protested the movement as Tony slowly sat up. Meeting the older man's concerned gaze, he motioned for Gibbs to join him. They looked ridiculous sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, but the way his knee felt, he wasn't going anywhere soon. "Can't stop ya," he replied.

"Good point."

A soft groan escaped the agent's lips as he sat down next to Tony. The two men sat in silence, neither daring to look at the other. The younger man wasn't sure how long they sat there before he decided to be the one to break the silence. A year ago, he would have felt the need to shatter the quietness with a movie reference or something completely inappropriate. Now, that urge was gone and when he spoke, it was because he had something to say.

"I used to dream about living in a neighborhood like this," Tony mused. "Thought one day, I'd have a wife, 2.3 kids, a dog; you know, the whole works. I'd have a job I loved and everything would be perfect. Guess that's kind of strange coming from me."

Gibbs shook his head. "No, there's nothing wrong with having goals."

Tony blew out a long breath. "Like I said, it was just a dream. I didn't want a big house like I lived in when I was younger. I didn't want to have maids and butlers raising my kids. I wanted my wife and kids to know that they were loved and…" He rested his head on his good knee. What was he doing? Why was he even having this discussion with Gibbs?

"You can still have it, Tony."

"Nope. Not anymore. Damaged goods, collateral damage, whatever you want to call it; that's all I am now."

He sensed Gibbs tense beside him. "DiNozzo, I owe you a head slap for that one. You are still Tony DiNozzo, the only one I have truly ever trusted to have my six. You're my…you're my son…."

Tony angrily pulled at the grass beside him. He wished Gibbs would have just head slapped him instead of trying to assume the paternal figure in his life. Tony wasn't ready for that level of an emotional connection to anyone, and he knew that he had to quickly erect those walls that he had so carelessly allowed to fall. "Don't! Don't even go there! I'm NOT the same person I used to be, and I hate myself because of that! I'm not your agent, and I'm not your son! I'm nobody! Tony DiNozzo doesn't exist anymore, Gibbs!"

"Yes, he does," Gibbs countered. "He's just lost his way. You can do anything you set your mind to, including having that family one day."

"No, I can't!" he growled. "No one is going to want to marry an ex-con who can't have kids!"

Knowing that he had said too much, Tony began to struggle to push himself up off the ground. The last thing he wanted was someone to actually drive by and witness the impending explosion that was threatening to occur at any moment. Tony had barely managed to get to his feet when he felt Gibbs' strong hands steady him as he gained his balance. He refused to meet the team leader's gaze; the former agent knew he couldn't handle the pity in the older man's eyes, and any show of sympathy would be his undoing.

"Tony," Gibbs softly called out to him. "Let's go back inside so we can talk."

"Nothing to talk about."

He knew his answer wouldn't satisfy his former mentor. Tony had just blurted out something that he had intended to take to the grave with him; Gibbs wouldn't simply let it go.

"DiNozzo, I think…"

"I don't care what you think, Gibbs. I'm through talking!" Pulling out of Gibbs' grasp, Tony began to slowly make his way back to the house, where he planned to lock himself in the guest room until he managed to get his raging emotions under control. He had to pull himself together or end up wallowing in the pit of self-loathing that threatened to consume him for the rest of his life. Maybe one day, he would answer Gibbs' questions, but it wasn't going to happen today.

He limped into the house and to the bedroom with Gibbs on his six. Tony silently cursed his bum knee for slowing him down. Why couldn't Leroy Jethro Gibbs just leave him the hell alone? Careful of the box of clothing still sitting on the end of his bed, he collapsed on the pristine covers, his eyes fixed on the ceiling fan. "I'm tired, Gibbs. Just go away."

The sound of a chair being pulled up beside his bed informed him that the agent didn't have any intention of going anywhere. "Tony, I already knew about that. I saw it in the records I got from the prison."

Tony clenched his jaw to the point he thought his teeth may shatter. "I guess I should thank you for not saying anything," he spat out. "I guess Ducky knows."

"Yeah, but no one else," Gibbs assured him. "That's no one's business but yours, DiNozzo. Still doesn't change the man that you are inside."

"I changed the moment that jury came back with a guilty verdict, and I wish you would get it through your head that no amount of wishing can undo everything that happened."

"I know that, Tony. I know that better than anyone, but you have got to meet me halfway. You're trying to drive away the people that want to help you. You think that by pissing me off or pissing Ducky off, we're going to give up on you. It's not going to happen. How many times do I have to say that, Tony? I told you that I'm going to have your six, and I meant it. You might as well get used to it; you've got to start putting this behind you. You keep talking about getting your life back and as long as you have this hate inside you, it's going to eat you alive. I'm speaking from experience."

Tony glared at the older man, who had probably used up his weekly allowance of words in this last tirade. Did Gibbs truly understand what he was asking him to do? His anger was the only thing that was driving him and keeping him partially sane and the team leader was telling him to let it go. He swallowed hard as he returned his gaze to the ceiling fan. Tony didn't trust himself to speak; thankfully, Gibbs seemed to understand.

"You rest. We'll talk some more later." Gibbs gave his shoulder a gentle pat as he stood to leave.

As the door closed, Tony closed his eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall. Gibbs was right but Tony wasn't sure he was strong or brave enough to face his future; he was a coward who lashed out at those who wanted to help him. Tony knew he didn't deserve their friendship. He had only been trying to protect Gibbs, Abby, and the others, but instead, he had ended up pushing them away.

Tony slowly sat up and looked around his room, his eyes coming to rest on the closet full of designer suits. Tony had told Gibbs to get rid of them, and he still wasn't sure that he still wanted them; however, he knew that wasn't a decision he was going to make now. Of course, at the moment, Tony wasn't sure of any decision that he had to make. Gibbs had repeatedly told him that he needed to make a concerted effort to quit talking about reclaiming his life and put those plans into action, but truthfully, he had no idea where to begin.

Maybe the Marine was right in that he needed to start by not fighting Gibbs and Ducky at every turn. Tony knew they were trying to help; everyone wanted to help, but he didn't seem capable of accepting their help. Raking his good hand through his hair, Tony wondered why anyone gave a damn about him; he certainly wasn't worth the heartache that Gibbs and the others seemed to willingly put themselves through.

His body began to scream in protest at the abuse he had subjected it to the past couple of hours. Tony decided that he needed to lie down and hopefully sleep would come, even if it was just for a few minutes. As he attempted to move his box of belongings so he could have more room, the contents ended up spilling in the floor. Tony muttered a string of expletives under his breath as he stared at his now disheveled belongings scattered on the carpet.

Too tired to clean up the mess, he tossed the box on top of the pile and started to lie down. It was then that a photograph caught his eye. Carefully bending over, he retrieved the picture as memories began to flood his weary mind. It was a picture of him and Kate that had been taken when he had escorted her to her cousin's wedding. She had been desperate for a date and he had been more than willing to help her out. His ability to adapt to any situation had allowed him to fall into the role of her boyfriend very easily, impressing Kate's family to the point that they had constantly asked her when he was going to pop the question. She had been at a loss for words and he had to admit that he had found it amusing, but his quick thinking had saved her any further discomfort when he had redirected the attention to the bride and groom.

Tony's thoughts drifted to the conversation that had taken place between them on the ride home. At first, Kate had been pissed at him but before the night was over, the two had reached a new understanding and appreciation for one another.

_***flashback***_

_Kate was fuming. They had been on the road for thirty minutes and she had yet to say one word to him. _

"_Something wrong?" he asked for what seemed like the hundredth time._

_She had repeatedly refused to answer him and this last attempt to ignore him had prompted him to pull over the car on the side of the road and shut the engine off. _

"_What are you doing?" Kate demanded to know._

"_Trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you! Did I do something wrong?"_

"_Did you do something wrong?" She stared at him in disbelief. "You have no idea what you did, do you?"_

"_If I did, I wouldn't have asked."_

_Kate crossed her arms and stared out the window; Tony could swear that she was actually pouting. "You just had to make my life even more miserable, didn't you?_

_Tony visibly bristled as he gripped the steering wheel tighter in an effort to control his emotions. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_My family thinks that we are going to get married sometime in the near future! They adore you and think that you are just the perfect man for me!"_

_He still couldn't understand what was fueling her anger at him. She had instructed him to act like her boyfriend for the weekend and in front of her family, that's exactly what he had done. "What's the big deal, Kate? In a week or so, you can call them and tell them I fooled you and I was actually a big jerk."_

"_Like they're going to believe that. You had them eating out of your hand. If I tell them we broke up, they'll blame me for letting you go. You didn't even flinch when they asked about when we were going to get married!"_

"_I thought that's what I was supposed to do," Tony pointed out, his frustration reaching an all new high. "Maybe you should make it clearer exactly what you expect from a boyfriend; you know, write it up in a contract. That way when you actually have one, he'll know how he's supposed to act."_

"_I can't believe you said that!" she exclaimed. "I would never tell anyone how to act."_

_Tony rolled his eyes, his face betraying the exasperation he was feeling. "You tell me all the time."_

"_I do not!"_

_Clearing his throat, he purposefully took his voice up an octave and began delivering some of Kate's infamous barbs. "Tony, you're so immature. Tony, grow up. Tony, you're too old to date that girl. Tony, why can't you be more like McGee? Tony, you shouldn't eat that pizza, it's bad for you." He glared at his partner and asked, "Need I go on?"_

_Kate was taken aback by his revelation. "I uh…I'm just…"_

_Tony started the engine and pulled out on the highway; he had an overwhelming desire to get back to D.C., sooner than later. "Don't worry, Kate, you don't have to worry about me living up to those standards. Besides, I would never be good enough for you."_

_Tony winced as those last few words escaped his mouth. He didn't know why he allowed that particular insecurity slip through his shields. Truthfully, as much as he wanted to settle down and have a family one day, he knew that it was unattainable dream; he was terrified of ending up like his father and Tony simply could not take that chance. _

"_I'm sorry, Tony," Kate quietly apologized. "I never realized that was what I was doing. I guess I see so much potential in you that I…" She swallowed hard. "You're a good man, Tony DiNozzo; any woman would be lucky to have you. Don't let anyone, including me, tell you otherwise."_

_Tony never could stay angry at Kate. He winked at her and unsure of what to say, he replied, "Thanks."_

_The next few minutes were enveloped in a semi-awkward silence as they continued their drive. It was Kate who finally spoke, forcing Tony to abandon his contemplative state of mind. "Why don't you think you're good enough for me?" she wanted to know._

"_What?"_

"_Why don't you think you're good enough for me?" Kate repeated._

_He shrugged as he considered her question. "I don't know. I guess I think you deserve someone who would treat you like a queen. I know you're into the equal rights thing, but I think deep down, most women like to be treated special and are still looking for their knight in shining armor. You deserve someone who'll tell you how beautiful you are every day, no matter if you look like crap; you need someone who'll hold you when you've had a bad day and who'll make you laugh when you feel sad. You deserve someone who will grow old with you and love you until the end."_

_It was the second time that evening that Kate had been struck speechless. "Wow. Tony, I…I never expected you to say something like that. I never knew you to be such a romantic."_

"_There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Kate," Tony pointed out._

"_I'm beginning to believe that. Maybe it's time to learn a little more about the man who always has my six."_

_Tony laughed at loud. "I'm not that deep, Kate. You had me pegged from the get go; shallow guy, no depth."_

"_I don't believe that. Not anymore." Kate reached over and gently laid her hand on his shoulder. "Let's start over, shall we? Tony, thank you for going to the wedding with me."_

_***end flashback***_

Tony stared at the picture, recalling how they had spent the rest of the trip talking and laughing. Although Tony had only given her glimpses of the man behind the mask, a special bond had bloomed and it had continued to grow for the next several months. He recalled the day that she had given him that picture. Kate had told him that her mom had sent it with a note saying that she hoped the next picture of them would be at their wedding. Tony had taken it home and kept it in a special place on his piano. He briefly wondered what Gibbs had thought when he had seen the picture; maybe one day, he would assure the team leader that neither he nor Kate had ever broken Rule 12. Tony would probably leave out the minor detail that Rule 12 was never broken because she had died. The two of them had still teased each other mercilessly, especially at work, but the time they spent together outside of work was developing into something more than just friendship. Unfortunately, they never got to figure out what to call their relationship. Tony had contracted the pneumonic plague and had nearly died; soon after, Kate had been taken from him by a sniper's bullet and their dreams had vanished like a vapor.

"You sure wouldn't think much of me now, Kate," he mumbled to himself. "You'd be pretty disappointed in me."

_You're still a good man, Tony DiNozzo; nothing can change that._

Tony closed his eyes and blew out the breath he'd been inadvertently holding. Even after all this time, he could still hear her voice in his mind. She would not be happy with the way he was trying to handle everything on his own.

_It's okay to ask for help._

Lying down on the bed, he clutched the photograph to his chest. "You don't know how hard that is, Katie." He had a long road ahead of him, and he didn't have to travel it alone; but he had no idea how to ask for help.

Tony glanced over at the phone on the nightstand. Maybe he needed to start by making amends with a few people. Of course, there was always the possibility that Ziva, Tim, Abby, and the others had decided that he wasn't worth their time; maybe they were embarrassed by him or maybe… Tony closed his eyes and blew out a breath, maybe he should quit letting his imagination run rampant and make that first call.

He continued to stare at the old style rotary phone. Tony muffled a laugh as he considered how much Gibbs hated change. "Ever heard of a push-button phone?"

Looking at the picture once again, he silently pleaded for his angel to help him. As exhaustion overtook his body, he decided that he would make that first phone call tomorrow. Maybe by then, he would have found a tiny portion of the strength and courage he used to have.


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you all so much for the kind words of encouragement and support. I appreciate all my loyal readers and I can't thank you enough for sticking with me and this story. I try and respond to everyone that I can, but for those I can't and the guest readers, I thank you as well!**

**As a reward, here is another chapter! I know! Hard to believe, isn't it? Actually, it was originally in Part 25 and then when I revamped it, the chapter became so long, I made a new one! I hope you enjoy! Thanks to my beta, JackiLeigh; I appreciate the help. All mistakes are mine. Have a great weekend…I'll be writing!**

**Part 26**

Although no one would ever be the wiser, Gibbs' heart was aching for the man he thought of as a son. To actually hear Tony talking about how his dreams would never come true because of the brutality he had suffered in prison was almost too much to bear. Gibbs had to make DiNozzo see that he still had a future, and in order to do that, Tony was going to have to move past the anger that was blinding him. The team leader knew from experience that letting go was a difficult thing to do; after all these years, he still harbored feelings of hatred towards the man who had killed his wife and daughter. Even though he had exacted his revenge, it had taken him a long time to convince himself that he could move on with his life; Tony was going to have to come to the same realization.

Gibbs lay down on the couch, flinging his right arm over his eyes. Tired didn't even begin to describe how he was feeling. His nerves were raw and there were times he wasn't sure if his presence was doing Tony more harm than good. However, at the moment, DiNozzo didn't have a lot of options and probably considered Gibbs to be the lesser of the evils.

He permitted his eyes to close and the tension began to ebb from his body. His thoughts turned to Shannon and Kelly. They had been his life and had been brutally taken from him. Gibbs hadn't been there when they had died and the fact he couldn't save them still tore at his soul. A United States Marine Sniper had failed his wife and daughter and, as a result, they had died. He had already failed Tony once by allowing the young man to spend a year in prison because of his incompetence; Gibbs would not fail him again.

"How do I fix this?" he mumbled as slumber began to beckon him. Images of his young daughter danced in his dreams; he desperately missed her sweet voice that always called to him. He found himself sitting beside her on the swing set that used to sit in his back yard. She used to love for him to swing with her whenever he was in between tours and truthfully, it was one of those moments that he still cherished.

_Fix what, Daddy?_

"DiNozzo."

_Is he broken?_

"No, he's just…hurting."

_Maybe a band aid would help._

"I don't think so."

_Well if a band aid won't help, maybe time will. Mommy used to say that time heals all wounds. You just have to be patient._

"That's not one of my better virtues. It's not DiNozzo's either."

_Well, I guess you'll just have to work at. You always tell me that if you want something that you have to work for it. It's like building your boat. It takes a lot of hard work to make it beautiful._

Gibbs smiled as he reached out to brush a stray piece of hair away from Kelly's face. "How'd you get so smart?"

_Mommy says I take after her._

"Well, she's right."

_She usually is. _

The team leader nodded in agreement. "Yes, she is." Kelly's image began to fade and Gibbs was forced to let her go once again. He opened his eyes, remembering why he hated to sleep. It wasn't unusual for him to dream about Shannon or Kelly, but it was always heartbreaking when he woke up to the reality and knowledge that they were gone.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. Gibbs had no idea why his daughter had come to him and given him advice on DiNozzo, but he had to admit that he was grateful for her presence. Sometimes, the answers to the difficult questions were simple; now, he just had to be patient and that in itself, was easier said than done.

Knowing that he wasn't going to sleep anymore, he headed towards the basement, seeking the solitude that came whenever he worked on his boat. Gibbs switched on the light and walked over to his workbench to pour himself a glass of bourbon; he definitely needed a drink. His thoughts turned back to Tony and found himself hoping that tomorrow, things would be better between them. Gibbs knew what _he_ needed to do; he had to be patient and that was difficult for a man who was used to getting immediate results. It would be a lot easier if he could simply put a band aid on DiNozzo's pain, but there weren't enough bandages in the world to take care of the mental and physical anguish that Tony had been subjected to. Time. Shannon and Kelly were right, as was Ducky; it was going to take time for his son to heal.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Gibbs…you down here?"

The team leader sat up, silently cursing the fact that he had once again fallen asleep on the floor under his boat. Glancing at his watch, he realized that both he and Tony had actually been asleep for several hours. Gibbs stood up, watching DiNozzo carefully making his way down the stairs. Between yesterday's stunt and taking the stairs this morning, Tony's knee was probably throbbing; Ducky was not going to be pleased with either one of them.

"How long have you been up?" the team leader asked.

"About an hour. Took a shower, even remembered the plastic bag over my cast. Got dressed and made my way down here. Movin' slow, but I'm movin."

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

Tony nodded as he carefully sat down on the steps. "Actually, yeah. Probably more than I have in a long time."

"No nightmares?"

"A couple, but I went back to sleep."

Gibbs was grateful that Tony seemed to be in a better frame of mind, but the team leader also knew that his mood could change without warning. "That's good, DiNozzo. I got a few hours myself."

"Good. You've certainly earned it."

Neither man seemed sure how to handle the awkward silence between them. Before Tony's incarceration, the two of them didn't need words to communicate; that ability was now buried under layers of mistrust that had been constructed over the past year. Tony was still unreadable and always had been to an extent. It had taken Gibbs several years before he had been allowed to catch a glimpse of the man behind the mask; now, he was back at square one.

"You okay?" Gibbs pressed.

"Yeah," Tony replied. "I was just going to…I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure." Gibbs sat on the sawhorse across from him, reminding himself that he needed to be patient and wait for Tony to ask his question.

"I've been thinking about what you said about everyone wanting to help…," the younger man began.

"We do."

"I know. I just…" Tony exhaled slowly. "I was thinking about talking with the team. Not all at once, but maybe one at a time. I figure I owe them the courtesy of at least thanking them for getting me out of prison. I also figure I owe Abby an apology. I don't regret what I said, but I am sorry for how I said it. She wanted to help and I was a bastard to her."

Gibbs couldn't help but wonder why DiNozzo had experienced such a change of heart. "If that's what you think you need to do, then I've got your six," the Marine vowed. "I know the others will be glad to see you, but I will admit that I'm just a little confused as why the sudden urge to reach out to them. Last night, you didn't want to have anything to do with them."

A tiny grinned reached DiNozzo's tired eyes. "I guess I had a little push from someone special. I need to quit making excuses."

Gibbs knew that he probably wasn't that someone special that DiNozzo was referring to and truthfully, he didn't care who it was; as long as Tony was making the effort to reclaim his life. Unfortunately, his few seconds of hesitation had put DiNozzo on the defensive again.

The dark-haired man visibly tensed. "Something wrong, Gibbs?"

"No, not at all. I'm glad you're making the effort; just don't push yourself too hard." The words had come out a bit harsher than he had intended and unfortunately, DiNozzo had picked up on it.

Tony shakily stood to his feet. "Make up your freakin' mind, Gibbs!" he growled. "You lecture me about moving on but then your get pissed because I'm not doing it on your time table. What do you want from me?"

"I'm not pissed, Tony," Gibbs soothed. "I want you to do what's right for you, Tony. I kind of got a little push from someone special too, and I realized a couple of things."

"Such as?"

"Such as the fact that as much as I want things back to normal, I'm going to have be patient and accept that things have changed. Which is exactly what you've been telling me; I just didn't want to listen. If I'd been listening to you, things might have been better between us."

Tony sat back down on the steps. Gibbs was grateful that he hadn't bolted again. The last thing he wanted was for one of their rare civil conversations to escalate into another fight. "I want you to know that you don't have anything to prove."

"That's where you're wrong, Gibbs," Tony softly countered as he stared aimlessly at the sawdust covered floor. "I have everything to prove, especially to myself. I need to know if I can still be the man that I used to be. Right now, I'm not sure. You say that Ziva, Tim, and the others are with me, then I need to make sure that I can trust them like you said."

"You can."

"I have to find out for myself and even then, I don't know if I'll be able to trust them. I guess I have a few more trust issues than I used to."

"Can't blame you for that," Gibbs admitted.

DiNozzo met Gibbs' questioning gaze. Tony had always been able to see through the tough exterior that he preferred to exhibit and now, the Marine felt like he was being placed under a microscope. What was Tony looking for? Was DiNozzo trying to decide if he could really trust him?

"I couldn't trust anyone while I was in prison," Tony quietly began. "Every time I turned my back, there was a knife sticking out of it. The only person I could trust was myself. I…I got to where I didn't even trust you. Every time you visited, I spent the next week paying the consequences."

Gibbs swallowed hard. The thought that he had inadvertently caused Tony any pain was too much to bear. As much as he had wanted DiNozzo to talk to him, the team leader began to doubt his ability to handle the truth. "Explains why you didn't want me to visit. I thought you were just embarrassed and…I didn't mean to cause you more trouble."

"You didn't. I was pretty good at causing my own trouble."

Tony started to laugh and Gibbs had to admit that he had missed that particular sound. "What's so funny?" he inquired.

The dark-haired man shook his head. "I'm not nearly drunk enough for this. You still keep the good stuff down here?"

Gibbs walked over to his workbench and dumped the screws out of the spare glass. He poured Tony a drink and handed it to him. "Don't tell Ducky," he instructed.

"Right," Tony answered as he took a sip. "That's good stuff and enough of it will certainly loosen my lips. I don't think I'm quite up to giving up that much control yet."

"That's fine. Whenever you're ready; I'm here."

Tony nodded his appreciation as he finished the rest of his drink. "Thanks. I guess right now I better go make that first phone call. Do you mind if she comes over here?"

"Not at all. Do you mind if Duck comes and checks your knee?"

"I guess that's fair."

"Let's head upstairs and I'll fix breakfast while you call Abby."

Gibbs offered his hand to help Tony up from his position on the steps. As the former agent slowly made his way up the stairs, the team leader stood ready to offer whatever assistance DiNozzo would need. It took several minutes but the injured man finally made it to the door way and then hobbled over to the couch. Propping his knee on the coffee table, Tony laid back against the cushion in order to catch his breath.

"You need anything?"

"Just a phone. Preferably a push button or better yet, a cell," Tony replied. "By the way, how old is that phone in the guest bedroom? You know how outdated that phone is?"

"Does it look like I care, DiNozzo?"

"No, Bo…Gibbs."

Tony still couldn't call him Boss; it grieved the Marine that the name that had once come so naturally to the younger man almost seemed like it burned his tongue. Gibbs handed Tony his cell and headed towards the kitchen.

"Thanks," Tony replied. "And Gibbs?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I haven't acted like it, but I do appreciate everything you're trying to do for me. I haven't made this easy for you."

"No, you haven't," Gibbs honestly answered. "But it comes with being a family."

He continued his trek into the kitchen, a weary smile shattering his normally stoic countenance. Gibbs was beginning to feel like things were beginning to take a turn from the better and at that moment, he wouldn't trade that feeling for the world. Putting the coffee on and then gathering the ingredients to make pancakes, he picked up his cordless phone and dialed a familiar number.

Within two rings, he heard his old friend's distinguished voice. "Good morning, Jethro. Is everything all right?"

"I think so. I mean DiNozzo's doing a little better today than he was yesterday," he proclaimed. "He's actually calling Abby this morning."

"Well, I would say that is a vast improvement. Was there some sort of catalyst that would explain this change in attitude?"

Gibbs began to recall everything that had happened yesterday and during the morning. He informed the ME about DiNozzo trying to leave and ending up on the sidewalk and then how he ended up in his room, wanting to be left alone. "I'm not sure what happened last night, but this morning, he seemed less agitated. He even laughed, Duck. Now, he's talking to Abby and inviting her over here. I'm not sure how that's gonna play out, but hopefully, it will be good for both of them."

"It is certainly a step in the right direction."

"Hope so. He needs something to go his way."

"Now Jethro," Ducky gently scolded. "Let's not forget that things started turning around for him when you proved his innocence. The rest will take time."

"Yeah, I was reminded of that last night." The team leader wasn't about to provide the doctor with any details about _his_ dream last night; it was personal and that was how he intended for it to remain. "Anyway, I thought you might want to drop by and give DiNozzo a once over. He strained that knee pretty good yesterday."

"I'll be over around lunchtime; perhaps, I'll even bring a pizza."

"I'm sure he'd like that, Duck. See ya then."

As Gibbs hung up the phone, he poured the pancake batter on the griddle. He wondered if Tony had reached Abby; he didn't hear DiNozzo talking to anybody, so he surmised that they must have finished their conversation. He flipped the pancakes and waited a few more seconds for them to finish. Gibbs then put them on a plate and grabbed the fresh maple syrup and headed into the living room.

Tony was still sitting just like he had left him, except the phone was tightly clutched in his hand and DiNozzo's gaze was fixed on the opposite wall. "Tony?" he called out. "Pancakes are ready."

"I…I'm not hungry, Gibbs. Sorry."

His gut began to scream at him that something was wrong. Setting the plate down on the table, Gibbs sat beside Tony and studied the broken man before him. DiNozzo's demeanor had changed within the last few moments and the haunted look that had been prevalent in his eyes until this morning had returned. "Tony? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Did you call Abby?"

"Yeah."

"When's she coming over?"

Gibbs could feel the anger radiating from the younger man as he gripped the phone even tighter. "She said she couldn't come today. She was working on something for Balboa's team."

"Well, maybe she can come…"

"She doesn't want to come, Gibbs!" Tony snapped. "I could hear it in her voice. I asked her about tonight, and she said she had plans. You know as well as I do that if she wanted to be here, nothing would stop her. She's scared to come see me, and the crazy thing is that I can't blame her!"

"Tony, I'm sure that Abby wants to see you," the Marine reasoned. "After all, she snuck into the hospital..."

"Where I proceeded to yell at her."

"Tony…"

"Just leave it alone, Gibbs. I was stupid to try. I should have known better. So much for trusting others; I should have left well enough alone!"

Tony slowly and carefully placed his knee on the floor and clumsily rose to his feet. "I'm going upstairs," he announced.

He felt like someone was twisting a knife in his heart as he watched DiNozzo slowly head towards the stairs. Everything had been going so well and Abby had to seemingly act like a petulant child. "Tony, eat something."

"Maybe later."

Gibbs had no idea what to say to a man whose spirit had been broken yet again. How many times was DiNozzo going to have his feet kicked out from under him? As soon as he heard Tony's door shut, he grabbed his cell phone that had been left on the couch. He would find out what the hell was wrong with Abby and hopefully make her see the damage that she had inflicted on such a fragile soul.

He hit the appropriate speed dial and didn't even give her a chance to say hello. "What the hell were you thinkin', Abs?"


	28. Chapter 28

**I am sorry that I don't have time to answer your previous reviews. I am in the process of working out my two weeks' notice so I can start a new job, which I am thoroughly excited about. Please know that I cherish each pm and review and will answer each one as time permits. Here is the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for being such loyal readers and for your unwavering support! Thanks again to JackiLeigh for the help! You're amazing. (This means that all remaining mistakes are mine.)**

**Part 27 **

"What the hell were you thinking, Abs?"

Abby knew that she shouldn't have answered the second call from Gibbs' cell phone. A few moments ago, she had made the mistake of assuming that the team leader had been calling her, when in fact, it had been Tony. The scientist had been taken aback by the sound of DiNozzo's voice. He had tried to make small talk and when that didn't seem to work, Tony had simply come out and asked her if she wanted to come over to Gibbs' place so they could talk.

She had told him that she was busy with one of Balboa's cases and while it wasn't a lie, there really wasn't anything pressing that should have prevented her from going to Gibbs' house to see Tony. DiNozzo had even suggested that she drop by later that night and she had declined. Abby knew that her excuses had hurt Tony and that hadn't been her intention at all. Or had it? Had she inadvertently been trying to get back at him for the fiasco of their last visit?

She had been so desperate to see him when he was in the hospital and that particular visit had quickly escalated into nothing short of a catastrophe. Abby had gone against Tony's wishes _and_ Gibbs' instructions and had gone to see him. The guilt that she carried of being the one to deliver the evidence that had convicted him had outweighed her usual common sense. Tony hadn't wanted to see her, but yet she had insisted. Abby had thought she was helping him, but truthfully, she had wanted assuage her conscience.

The visit had resulted in Tony being so upset that he had to be sedated and Gibbs being so furious that he had actually yelled at her—much like he was doing now. She braced herself and released the breath she had been holding. "Gibbs, I know what you're going to say."

"I don't think you do," the Marine growled.

Abby could feel the anger radiating from the lead agent. The last thing she had wanted to do was incur his wrath once again, but unfortunately, she had succeeded in doing just that. "Gibbs, I'm really busy right now. Can we do this later?" Abby already knew the answer to her question. She was going to have to explain her actions, which wasn't going to be easy. How could she offer a plausible explanation when she didn't understand herself? Slipping into her office, she closed the door, sat in her chair, and waited for the verbal assault to begin.

"No, we can't do this later. Start talking."

She knew better than to act naïve. Gibbs expected the truth and she couldn't lie to him. "Gibbs, I know you're upset," Abby began. "I'm sorry. I'm just not ready."

"I don't care if _you're_ ready or not," the Marine shot back. "This isn't about you, Abby. Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"I haven't done anything, Gibbs. Tony just caught me off guard and I…well, I'm not ready to see him again!"

The silence on the other end of the line terrified her. Abby's deep-seated fear of losing Gibbs' affection was always in the back of her mind, but lately, it was all she could think about. She had barely seen her silver fox since Tony had been released from prison; in fact, the last time that Abby had laid eyes on him was at the hospital when had been vehemently scolding her for not following his instructions.

When Gibbs finally spoke, his voice was low and menacing; his rage was under tenuous control. "Why not?" he demanded to know. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for him to call you? Tony wanted to try and reach out to the team to see if he could trust them, and _you_ were his first choice. Not McGee or Ziva, but you! For some reason, he thought he owed you an apology," Gibbs fumed. "I don't happen to agree with him, but that isn't for me to decide."

Abby continued to listen as Gibbs continued his tirade. The burden of the guilt she was feeling was weighing her down. "Everything was going pretty well today, until he tried to call you. You used to the be one he could turn to who would tell him that everything was going to be all right. Why can't you do that now?"

She closed her eyes, trying to keep her tears at bay. "But when he was in the hospital, he…"

"You need to move past that. If you're gonna hold that against him, Abs, then you're not the person I thought you were. The Abby I know would want to help someone in need, especially someone she cares deeply for."

Abby was speechless for a moment. What was wrong with her? She was acting like a spoiled child who was jealous of her brother because he was getting all the attention. Tony had needed her and she had purposefully hurt him by avoiding him. "Gibbs, I…I don't know what to say."

"I don't want you to say anything, Abby," Gibbs said. "I want you to think about what you need to do and do it. Like I said, this isn't about what's best for you; it's about what's best for Tony."

"I didn't mean to hurt him," she admitted. "I just didn't know what to say. I…" Abby wiped at the tears now streaming down her face. "I'll fix it, Gibbs."

"I don't know if you can now, but you had better try."

"Do you think he will want to see me now?"

"I don't know," the older man honestly replied. "Tony's hurt and he's angry. Right now, he's upstairs and I have no idea what's going through his mind. Ducky is going to come over here about noon; maybe you can make time in your _busy _schedule to join him."

"I will," she promised.

"You better."

The line went dead and Abby knew that Gibbs was through talking to her. She certainly had made a mess of things and now she had to somehow convince Tony that he could trust her to help him. Abby knew that it was up to her to set things right; if she couldn't repair the broken trust between her and DiNozzo, she would not only lose Tony, but Gibbs as well. She would lose her family and that was unacceptable.

"It's time to grow up, Abby," she whispered as she headed back into her lab. "You have to make things right."

"Abigail? To whom are you talking to?"

Upon hearing the familiar voice of the ME, Abby found herself crying on his shoulder. "Oh, Ducky; I made a terrible mistake! I'm such a horrible, horrible person!"

"Now, now," Ducky soothed. "I'm sure you're exaggerating, my dear. What's the matter?"

Abby couldn't look Ducky in the eye. She was so ashamed of herself. "Tony called me."

"Yes, Jethro told me he was going to do so. Isn't it wonderful that he's taking such a big step toward healing?"

Ducky's words only served to compound the guilt that was already starting to consume her. The elderly physician had been one of the few that had been permitted to see Tony on a regular basis, so he was more than aware of the daily struggles that DiNozzo was facing. "What did Tony say when he called you?" he wanted to know.

"He wanted me to come to Gibbs' house so we could talk. I uh…I told him that I was too busy."

"Why on earth would you say that?" Ducky asked, a slight hint of condemnation present in his cultured voice.

"I don't know," she sobbed. "I guess I was scared." Abby wiped her eyes again and met the doctor's curious gaze. "I still am."

"That's not an excuse, Abigail. For Anthony to call you took great deal of courage on his part, and for you to refuse the proverbial olive branch he was offering could set his recovery back."

"I know that now and I'm sorry. I'm going to fix it." Abby stood tall and held her head high. "I told Gibbs that I would make things right, and I will," she reiterated.

Ducky gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Even though the ME was obviously disappointed in her, he wasn't going to judge her too harshly. "Just be sure that you're doing this for the right reasons," he warned. "Do it because you care for Tony and you want to help him, not because you're afraid of losing Gibbs' affection. I know his approval means the world to you, but please, don't use Anthony as a means to get back into Jethro's good graces."

"I'm not," Abby declared. "I just have to figure out what I'm going to say."

Abby glanced at herself in the reflection of the plasma screen. "I need to freshen up a bit; I don't want to scare Tony any more than I already have."

"That's a good idea; perhaps you should make sure that your makeup is waterproof," he suggested. "I have a feeling that there will be a few more tears before the day is over."

"You're probably right, Duckman. By the way, Gibbs said that I might catch a ride with you."

"Of course. I'll be ready to leave in about half an hour."

Abby placed a quick kiss on the physician's cheek before he turned to leave. "Thanks, Ducky."

She headed back to her office where she could start getting ready to go to Gibbs' house. She took a deep breath as she studied her reflection in the mirror on the wall. "All right, Abby. Tony needs you, so you better get it together."

She wasn't sure that the pep talk she was giving herself was working, but she had to try. Abby knew that she had been wrong in refusing to see Tony, and she was going to have her work cut out for her to convince him that she did care and that she wanted to help him. If he didn't want to see her, then she wasn't sure what she would do. However, one thing was for certain- she wasn't going to give up on Anthony DiNozzo.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs had no idea what he was going to say to Tony; perhaps that's why it was taking him forever to walk up the stairs. DiNozzo had almost seemed excited about making the decision to reach out to the team; maybe excited wasn't the right word, but at least Tony had appeared to have a more positive frame of mind. Now, the Marine had no idea what the younger man was thinking.

He only hesitated for a couple of seconds before he knocked on the wooden door. "Tony?" he called out. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," came the nearly inaudible reply. Gibbs could only hope that maybe Tony would be willing to listen to reason; DiNozzo had to realize that he wasn't responsible for Abby's attitude. If she had destroyed what little bit of self-confidence that Tony had managed to regain, the Marine wasn't sure that he would be able to forgive her.

Opening the door, he quietly entered the room. Tony was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Gibbs sat on the edge of the bed, hoping that he would find some words of wisdom to impart to the former agent. Clearing his throat, he asked, "Can I get you anything? I'm still keeping those pancakes warm for you."

"Still not hungry," Tony tiredly replied. "I'm just going to lay here for a while. Maybe figure out a plan B."

"Plan B?" Gibbs wasn't sure exactly what Tony meant by figuring out a Plan B. He just hoped that it wasn't anything too drastic. He was scared that DiNozzo was going to bolt and would shut him out again. The older man had a feeling that if Tony left, he would probably never see him again and that was completely unacceptable.

"Well, Plan A didn't work so well, so I figured I should try something else." Tony brushed his hand through his hair. Gibbs noticed the slight tremor in DiNozzo's hand betraying the frustration that the hurting man obviously felt. "You know, maybe something that doesn't involve dealing with people. I think I'd be better off on my own."

"You don't really believe that.," the team leader challenged.

"I don't know what to believe."

"Look Tony," Gibbs attempted to reason. "I know that you're disappointed and hurt, but…"

"But what, Gibbs?" Tony sat up and faced the older man. Once again, his son's eyes were haunted by hopelessness and that only served to fuel his anger at Abby. Gibbs wished that she had shown as much courage in reaching out to him as DiNozzo had demonstrated by calling her.

"Abby doesn't want to see me," the former agent continued. "Why should anyone else feel any different? I'm better off just being on my own."

He felt Tony's body tense as he gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Remember what I told you, DiNozzo?"

"That you owe me a head slap?"

"Besides that," Gibbs smirked, pleased to see a tiny glimpse of Tony's sense of humor. He truly missed DiNozzo's laughter, movie references, and his well-timed one liners; there had been so many times when Tony had managed to make even the most difficult cases more bearable with a quip or joke. "I told you that you're not doing this alone."

"I guess you did," Tony sighed. "You and Duck keep telling me that you're in for the long haul. I guess I'm going to have to get used to that. "Guess I can make it with just two friends."

"Tony, don't let Abby's reaction ruin what you're trying to accomplish; you haven't even tried to talk to Ziva and McGee."

"And I probably won't. Their reactions are going to be the same. McGee is so head-over-heels in love with Abby, he's not going to talk to me because I upset her. Ziva doesn't even know me that well; she'll just see me as weak. I don't need them, Gibbs. I'll be fine."

To hear Tony speak with such certainty was troublesome to the Marine; DiNozzo had already decided on what his Plan B was going to be and was prepared to act on it. He wasn't prepared to give his team mates another chance; Tony wasn't going to open himself up to that kind of pain again. "Tony, listen to me," Gibbs pleaded.

"I'm kind of tired, Gibbs," Tony said. "I'll come down later and get some of those pancakes."

The team leader knew he was being dismissed. "All right, Tony. Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay."

Tony closed his eyes and Gibbs took that as his final cue to leave. His hand briefly hovered over DiNozzo's arm before giving him a gentle pat. "Take it easy, Tony." The former agent was hurting both physically and emotionally and there was nothing Gibbs could do to take away that pain. He was experiencing that all-too-familiar feeling of helplessness, and the father in him didn't like it.

He headed back downstairs, unsure of what he should do next. Gibbs didn't want to interfere because he knew that Tony needed to feel like he was in control of his life. DiNozzo had made the decision to reach out and that had backfired miserably; now, he would have to decide what his next step should be. He wasn't sure how much more Tony was going to be able to take.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

As soon as he heard the door close, Tony opened his eyes. He wasn't as tired as he had claimed to be; truthfully, he just wanted to be alone. How could he have been so stupid? Why would Abby want to see him? This past year, he had turned into some kind of monster and now, she was scared of him. How could he blame her for that?

Sitting up, he pulled out the picture of him and Kate that he had placed under his pillow. "Sorry, Kate. I tried. Like everything else, I screwed it up. Do you know how many times I wished that it had been me who had died on that roof? Every day," he whispered. "Every day, I wish things would have been different; you would have never gotten yourself into this mess."

He could hear Kate's voice in his head; Tony knew exactly what she would say. _Really, DiNozzo? Enjoying your pity party? You're better than that, Tony. _

Kate had always held him to a higher standard than he held himself. He had been told from a young age that he was worthless and that he would never amount to anything. She had almost managed to convince him that his father's words were nothing but a lie, and he had started to believe her, right up until she had died. Circumstances of the past year and reopened those partially healed wounds and his soul now lay bare.

"I don't know about that, Katie. I'm sitting here talking to a photograph and answering you, even though you're dead. Sounds pretty pathetic to me."

Laying the picture on the night stand, he ignored the constant pain in his knee as he pushed himself to his feet and slowly began to pace; Tony did his best thinking when he was in constant motion. He had told Gibbs that he was working on a Plan B; he just didn't inform him that he had already worked out some of the details. Tony's first priority was to find a place to live and for that he needed money.

During the trial, his assets, including his saving accounts, had been drained to help pay his legal fees. Fortunately, he had made it a practice of keeping his credit cards paid off and Gibbs had thought to cancel them, so Tony hoped that his credit rating hadn't suffered too much. However, he desperately needed funds and right now, he only had one option. The only problem was that Tony was going to have to reach out once again to someone who definitely didn't want to have anything to do with him.

He really didn't want to do this, but Tony felt like he didn't have a choice. The old cliché was true—desperate times called for desperate measures. Everything in his future was contingent upon the phone call he was about to make. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he picked up the phone and began to dial a familiar number. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he mumbled.

After a couple of rings, Tony considered hanging up. He wasn't sure he could sacrifice the little bit of pride he had left in order to hopefully get a few bucks. As he was about to disconnect the call, he heard a man with a deep, rich tone, answer the phone. So much for pride.

"Hello?"

He nervously licked his lips as he summoned the courage to reply. Clearing his throat, he answered, "Hey, Dad."


	29. Chapter 29

**Whew! Finally got time to post this chapter. I started a new job a few weeks ago, and between that, school starting for the kids, and marching band season, it's been a busy time. Anyway, I apologize for the delay and hope this chapter is worth your wait. Thanks to Jackileigh for being my beta==any mistakes are mine. Thank you all for your patience and your continued support! **

**Part 28**

As soon as Tony heard his father's voice, he wished that he had listened to his gut and had never dialed Senior's number. What was he thinking? This was the same man who used to tell him that he would end up in the gutter; he could hear those words echoing the recesses of his mind. Tony knew that he had done far worse than his dad had predicted; he had ended up in prison and would have to bear those scars for the rest of his life.

"Hello, Junior," his father coolly greeted.

He wasn't surprised by the elder DiNozzo's icy tone; it was laced with disappointment and resentment; truthfully, Tony could barely remember a time that his father hadn't been cold towards him. Before his mother had passed away, he could recall snippets of happier times, but after her death, there had been nothing but loneliness and sadness. He had never lived up to dad's expectations and Tony had, for all purposes, quit trying.

Tony finally managed to find his voice and asked, "How are you doing, Dad?"

A cynical laugh escaped Senior's lips. "I doubt that you called me to inquire as to my well being."

The younger man knew that his attempt at any type of pleasantry would be rebuffed; Senior definitely wasn't interested in participating in any kind of civil conversation with him. Tony figured that he might as well get to the point, but he was having trouble finding the right words. He hadn't asked his dad for a dime ever since Senior had disowned him and Tony was beginning to feel ill at the thought of what he was about to do.

"You're right," Tony tiredly conceded. "I just thought…never mind. It's not important." In the grand scheme of things, it really didn't matter that he had always held on the slim glimmer of hope that Senior would demonstrate any kind of paternal feelings towards him.

"What do you want, Junior?" Senior demanded to know.

"I uh…I want to ask you something."

"Let me guess. You need some money."

"Right to the point," Tony growled. "Some things never change."

"I'm a business man, Junior. I don't have time to beat around the bush."

"Of course not. You've never had time for anything pertaining to me."

When was he going to learn to keep his mouth shut? Tony's tendency to speak his mind had caused him to get into quite a few altercations in prison, most of them ending badly for him. He needed to control his emotions because antagonizing his dad wasn't going to help his cause. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm still kind of…on edge."

"They have medication for that, Junior."

"I don't need any medication, Dad. I just need some cash to get back on my feet."

"So, you decided to ask me."

"Yeah, I guess I did." His father was clueless as to what it had cost him to pick up the phone and ask him for anything. "Like I said, I just need enough to get back on my feet. I'll pay it back."

"Well, Junior, I don't know. Why should I believe that you'll pay it back? I mean, after all, you are an ex-con. I'm sure you can understand my reluctance in parting with my hard-earned money, especially on someone I'm not sure I can consider trustworthy."

Tony raked his hand through his hair. Sometimes his father's hypocrisy still amazed him; he had never been able to count on his dad and now Senior was lamenting about not being able to trust him. Clenching his fist, Tony struggled against the urge to reach through the phone and strangle his father. "You know what they say, Dad? Like father, like son. Guess I learned my sense of dependability from you." So much for not provoking his father.

"There isn't any need to be a smart ass, Junior," Senior snapped. "Especially to the man who can make or break you."

Tony started laughing. There really wasn't anything funny about this conversation, but Senior's bold assumption that he actually could control him was ludicrous. His experiences in prison had failed to completely break him, so, Tony figured he could handle anything that his dad threw his way. "Make or break me? Really, Dad? That's kind of cliché."

"Maybe it is, but it's still a reality."

"I don't think so." Tony knew that he was going to have to find another way. He was a fool to have even considered calling his father for the time of day, much less to ask him for money. "Thanks for nothing, Dad."

As Tony started to hang up, he heard his father call out to him. "Junior? Hold on a minute."

Tony's gut was screaming at him to end the phone call, but the son in him always seemed to give his dad another chance. Maybe one day, Tony would come to his senses and quit expecting a miracle where his father was concerned. Putting the receiver back up to his ear, he asked, "What, Dad?"

"Where are you staying now?" his dad inquired.

"Why does it matter?"

"I think that if you want me to give you money, then you should be willing to talk to me face to face, like a real man."

Tony was taken aback by his request. He hadn't seen his father in years and now, Senior wanted to see him; something was definitely off about the entire situation. His dad was obviously up to something. "Why? What makes you think I owe you the time of day?"

"You don't," Senior conceded. "But consider it a condition of your loan request."

He shook his head in frustration. Everything was conditional with his father and he was not in the mood to play games. "I've changed my mind. I don't need your money," Tony declared. "If you don't want to help me because I'm your son, then we don't really have anything to talk about."

"Are you too embarrassed to face your old man? I just want to talk; it's been a long time since…."

"We can't even have a civil phone conversation; what makes you think that talking face to face would accomplish anything besides me wanting to punch you in the face?"

"Did you lose all sense of respect for your elders while you were in prison?"

"Do you actually think that I ever had an inkling of respect for you? You really are a self-centered…."

"Before you go any farther," Senior interrupted. "Do you want the money or not?"

Tony was torn. He needed the money, but he was no longer sure if he was willing to pay the price. The younger man felt physically sick; his last shred of dignity was about to be destroyed by his actions, but Tony also believed that his options were limited. Gibbs was probably going to kill him for what he was about to do, but he would have to deal with the team leader later.

"Where do you want to meet?"

Not only did he feel ill, but he felt dirty; almost as filthy as he did when he had been attacked in prison. He pushed those memoires to the back of his mind. Tony knew he couldn't afford to allow those images to take precedence; he had to stay focused in order to deal with his dad. "I'll come to you. Again, why don't you tell me where you're staying," Senior insisted.

"I'm staying with Gibbs." Tony pinched the bridge of his nose; his head was pounding and he knew that he on the verge of a migraine. "You probably shouldn't come here; I have a feeling that you won't be welcome."

"Probably not. How about the Adams House?"

"No." Tony could only begin to imagine the looks he would get from the patrons of the Adams House; he didn't fit in that crowd any longer and he wasn't so sure that he ever did. "I'm not really able to travel too far. There's a park down the street from Gibbs' house; we can meet there."

"A public park? I don't think so, Junior. If you want the money and you don't want me to come to Agent Gibbs' house, then you come to the Adams House tomorrow for lunch. It will be my treat," Senior added as an afterthought. "Be there at noon."

"No!" Tony growled. "Just forget it! I don't need your damn money! I'll find another way!" He couldn't bear to give up what little control he had; if he took his father's money, then Senior would own him forever and that would completely destroy him. "Everything has to be on your terms! Do you know how hard it was for me to call you and ask…Never mind. It doesn't matter. If you can't help me because I'm your son, then f*** you! I didn't need you while I was growing up and I don't need you now!"

Tony hung up and buried his head in his hands. "I'm such an idiot. Why did I even think he would help? You should have stopped me from making a fool of myself, Kate."

_Would you have listened? You're as stubborn as Gibbs. Besides, I don't blame you for trying._

Tony picked up Kate's picture. "I should have known better. I just want…hell, I don't know what I want. I want my life back, Katie, and I don't know where to begin."

_Talk to Gibbs._

"I can't."

_Why not?_

"I've disappointed him enough."

_That's a lie._

Kate had always been more than willing to provide him with a reality check. With the exception of Gibbs, she had known him better than most; she could see behind his defenses and would often call him on his sometimes oafish behavior. Kate was right; he wasn't worried about disappointing his former mentor; he was just plain scared.

"Yeah. I guess it is."

_You're scared._

His hand trembled as he traced the photograph of Kate. Why did she have to die? "Beauty and brains, Katie; you had it all. I have to say that you hit the nail on the head; not only am I scared, I am absolutely terrified of everything, but I can't let anyone know what a coward I am."

A barely audible knock on his door prevented Kate from answering him. Tony quickly placed the picture face down on his night stand; he really didn't want anyone knowing that he was having conversations with the dead. Clearing his throat, he called out, "Come in."

"Hello, Anthony," Ducky greeted.

He should have known that Gibbs would have called Ducky, especially after his latest escapade. "Hey, Ducky. What's up?"

"It's past time for a house call, so I thought…"

"You mean Gibbs called you." Tony knew that he was short with the ME and that he really didn't have a right to be; Ducky was merely trying to help him and he couldn't fault him for that. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just tired."

Ducky patted him on the shoulder. "It's quite all right, my dear boy. I certainly didn't take offense; you've had a trying few days and so, it's understandable why you would be a little testy. Now, let me get your vitals and then I'll take a look at your knee."

Tony sat quietly as Ducky took his temperature, checked his pulse and blood pressure, and listened to his heart and lungs. He tried not to visibly tense under the doctor's careful examination, but it was difficult not to bristle at the mere thought of being touched. "Your blood pressure is a bit on the high side," Ducky informed him. "I suppose it could be partially because of pain, but I'm guessing that your conversation with Abigail has something to do with it as well.

He had almost forgotten about the fiasco with Abby; the conversation with his dad had overshadowed everything else. Instead of disagreeing with the elderly man, Tony simply shrugged. He wasn't about to tell Ducky about the idiotic mistake he had made by calling his dad; there just wasn't enough energy in him to go down that road again. "I'm okay, Ducky," he stated, unable to hide the weariness in his voice. "I just want to be alone."

"According to Gibbs, you've been alone for several hours. He's extremely worried about you."

Tony closed his eyes and blew out a breath. "I know. I've been an ass."

He could feel Ducky's piercing gaze upon him. "Don't you think you're being a bit too hard on yourself?"

"Not really."

"Anthony, is something else wrong? I mean, something besides your conversation with Abigail. You seem more distracted than…than usual," Ducky observed.

He wished that he could assure the ME that everything was fine, but he couldn't. Tony knew he needed to open up to someone who was preferably alive, but he still wasn't ready. Of course, the person who he needed to talk to was the one person that he was scared to talk to. "I'm fine, Duck. I guess I've just been doing a lot of thinking."

"About what?" the ME pressed.

"Everything." Tony blew out the breath he'd inadvertently been holding. "Ducky, I'm tired."

The older man nodded as he put away his supplies. "Very well; perhaps you'll feel better with a little more rest. I could give you something to help you sleep."

"No. I'd rather not."

"If you change your mind, let me know." Ducky sat down on the edge of the bed and Tony had a feeling that he was in for another well-meaning lecture. He wasn't sure what the doctor was going to say, but Tony was too exhausted to do anything but listen.

"Anthony," Ducky began. "Abigail is downstairs."

He stared at the Scotsman in disbelief. Why was she here? Their last conversation had left him with the impression that she wanted nothing to do with him. "Why?"

"She knows she was wrong and she wants another chance."

"Another chance for what?"

"She wants to talk to you and I think maybe you should consider granting her the opportunity."

Tony closed his eyes. _This day keeps getting better._ "Why? Why do I owe her another chance to blow me off?"

"She has come to her senses and right now, she's downstairs with Gibbs. I guess you can imagine how well that it going for young Abigail."

He almost cherished the thought of Gibbs taking down the scientist a notch or two. She had always pegged herself as the team leader's favorite and to have fallen from his graces would be devastating to her. Unfortunately, he couldn't find it in his heart to care. "Nothing less than what she deserves."

"True," Ducky agreed. "Do you feel up to seeing her again?"

If her only purpose was to assuage her guilty conscience, then he really didn't care to see her again. Should he be impressed by the fact that she was here and wanted to talk? She had her chance and Tony wasn't sure she deserved another one. The old Tony would undoubtedly tell her that he would forgive her and everything was going to be all right; the man he had become was not nearly as forgiving. "So tell me, Duckman; did you draw the short straw, or did Gibbs figure that I probably would take it better coming from you?"

"Both."

Tony tiredly grinned at the ME. What did he have to lose? He had already struck out twice; might as well make it a clean sweep. "I'll hear what she has to say, but I'm not promising anything. Of course, _she's_ going to have to listen to what _I_ have to say."

"I think that's more than fair," Ducky conceded. "Do you want to talk up here or downstairs?"

Even though it was temporary, this room was his sanctuary until he found his own place and he didn't want it tainted. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Take your time and remember, as Jethro says, we have your six. Don't let her off too easily; in fact, it will be a pleasure to watch you give her hell."

He quietly laughed at Ducky's instructions; Tony had never realized that the elderly doctor could be so spiteful. "Remind me never to get on your bad side, Ducky."

"Oh my boy, you really have no idea how vengeful I can be," the physician boasted. "Sometime I'll tell you about the time I was in Mexico and…" Tony thought that Ducky was going to go ahead and tell his story, but thankfully, the doctor paused midsentence and gave his arm a gently squeeze. "Well, like I said, that's for another time."

"You should just write a book," Tony suggested.

"That's not a bad idea, Anthony. I'll have to think about that," Ducky mused. "Anyway, we'll be downstairs waiting when you're ready."

Tony nodded as Ducky left him alone. Pulling out Kate's picture, he laid it face up on the table beside his bed. She had hit the nail on the head when she had forced him to admit that he was scared. Everything terrified him now; he might as well be the Cowardly Lion from _The Wizard of Oz._ "I don't know how much more I can take, Katie. If this goes bad again…I don't know what I'll do."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs sipped his coffee as he listened to Abby ramble about how sorry she was for the way she had treated Tony. He believed that she regretted her actions, but it didn't change the fact that the damage had been done. The team leader wondered if she would ever comprehend what she had done by her rejection; if she was simply trying to ease her guilty conscience, then she better be prepared to lose more than her friendship with Tony.

"What do you think he'll say, Gibbs?" Abby wanted to know.

"I don't know, Abby. He's not in a good place right now and you're earlier rejection certainly didn't help matters."

"I know, Gibbs. I feel horrible. I really do."

"That may not be enough," Gibbs warned. "I still don't understand how you could do that to him."

"I don't either," she admitted. "Do you think Tony will forgive me?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't." The team leader knew he was being harsh, but he had spent too many years ignoring her tendency to act like a spoiled child; Gibbs loved her like a father, but it was time for her to grow up and accept some responsibility. Abby was a brilliant scientist and a genuinely good person, but she needed to realize that she needed to recognize the fact that the world didn't revolve around her.

He had almost expected her to be upset by his callous remark, but she only nodded in agreement. "I wouldn't either."

Gibbs knew that Tony was hurting, and he was having an increasingly difficult time keeping everything bottled up. One of these days, if DiNozzo didn't find a release for the anger and hatred that was consuming him, the younger man was going to explode and the fallout would be widespread. Tony was more than ready to bolt and had been for a while. Gibbs couldn't shake the feeling that if his former senior field agent disappeared, that he would never see him again.

The only thing that was holding Tony back was the lack of funds. He knew that Jenny was working on getting DiNozzo's back pay, but that could definitely take a while. Gibbs considered offering Tony the money he needed, but the Marine had a feeling that his offer would be refused. What could he do to convince his friend that it was all right to ask for help? The team leader didn't have an answer and at the moment; he had other things to worry about.

He met Abby's troubled gaze. "You're just going to have to accept what he has to offer. If that isn't anything more than listening to your apology and then going back upstairs, you need to deal with that."

"I don't know if I can."

"You have too."

The scientist nodded, determination etched on her porcelain features. "I will. I won't mess this up, Gibbs," she vowed.

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Ducky, who had been upstairs checking on his favorite patient. He was glad that DiNozzo managed to tolerate the ME"s presence; at least Duck could keep an eye on Tony's health. "How's he doing?"

"His blood pressure is a bit too high and his knee is causing him more pain that he wants to admit, but overall, young Anthony is doing as well as can be expected. He seemed a bit rattled when I first came into his room, but that could be because of a number of things."

"Is he coming down?"

Ducky nodded. "Yes, but I'm not sure I can tell you what to expect. He's…" The doctor paused, looking for the right word. "…broken. I suggest you tread lightly."

"I will," Abby promised.

"I was talking to Jethro."

Gibbs glared at his old friend and colleague. "Me? What the hell's that supposed to mean, Duck?"

"It means just that. There is something eating away at him and although I don't know what it is, I have a feeling that it is something far more worrisome than talking with Abby is plaguing our young friend."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but I wouldn't push the issue until he's ready," Ducky suggested. "Let him deal with one thing at a time."

Gibbs knew that Ducky was right. He had to constantly remind himself that he had to allow Tony to address his issues in his own time frame, but the team leader also knew that he wasn't opposed to giving DiNozzo a little nudge when necessary. However, for now, he would bide his time. DiNozzo needed to talk with Abby and hopefully begin bridging the chasm between them. He wanted his family whole again, but Gibbs also realized that the unity that he missed wasn't going to happen overnight.

The Marine was drawn from his thoughts as Abby quietly greeted Tony. Gibbs motioned for Ducky to join him so that DiNozzo and Abby could have some privacy. Although he wasn't a religious man, the agent found himself praying that something finally went right for the man he thought of as a son.


End file.
